Online dating - does it work?
Jack_Clinton
Posts: 2,495 Forum Member
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After being single for a while, I thought I would try out online dating. I joined a few websites at the start of August.
I have now messaged a few girls who are in the Birmingham area, but I have no luck. A few of those girls have responded but after 1 or 2 messages, they disappear.
I did message someone on free dating, but after 3 weeks of messaging, she seems to have stopped. I am wondering if online dating works, and have any of you tried it or know someone who has and succeeded?
I have now messaged a few girls who are in the Birmingham area, but I have no luck. A few of those girls have responded but after 1 or 2 messages, they disappear.
I did message someone on free dating, but after 3 weeks of messaging, she seems to have stopped. I am wondering if online dating works, and have any of you tried it or know someone who has and succeeded?
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We were both in our 50's so not into disco's etc. So not many places to meet people apart from singles clubs, the pub and clubs.
Pick the right place. I said exactly what sort of person I was looking for. I went out to dinner with a few and then met my wife ..
Good luck ..
Biggest problem with keep messaging is it gets boring. After we had exchanged a couple of messages I just invited them out. You can go on messaging for far to long. In the meantime someone else steps in invites them out and you're history ..
Only a few? That's the problem. Girls on these dating sites, especially the free ones, get a lot of message each day. These will be a good mix of creeps, people wanting a one night stand, some after their underwear (no joke) and then the odd few genuine people out there.
You have to make your message stand out from the crowd, but keep it short. If someone opens a message and it's paragraphs of text they will be inclined to skip it as they've got 40 other messages to get through.
Sadly from what girls have told me about these sites it's hard for the nice men to stand out among all the noise so it really just comes down to a numbers game. When I was using them I set myself the task of messaging 5 girls each night to see if any responded. Did this for months, got the odd reply and out of those had a few dates.
As for your original question, I can safely say it does work. Meet my other half almost 3 years ago online and now we own a house together
I'd say go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain
The messaging 5 a day sounds a great idea. I will try it out.
What do you think of my chat-up line: I thought happiness started with a H. But for me, it starts with U.
Is that too cheesy?
I never personally witnessed any relationships that started online. But I did hear a friend of mine had a friend who met new people via a website.
So the viable way to online dating looks like this: Find a buddy who has been dating online. Hang out with him to learn how he does it and what website he uses. I am pretty sure there are hundreds of dating websites out there and the mojority of those websites are useless. You've got to find the right ones.
I'd ditch the chat up line totally.
Just mention something in their profile that caught your eye ....and not from the pictures!
Not that I'm any expert on it mind you ..
On the subject of messages. I got loads a day and as harsh as it sounds if it was just a hi or a cut and pasted corny message I wouldn't even bother looking at the profile (unless they were good looking - shallow but true!) Saying all this though I only ever signed up to sites out of intrigue/boredom and wasn't very serious about finding someone.
There's one guy I like (on the site I use) , we've talked for a while and he told me he really likes me - I want us to meet up but don't want to be the one to suggest it lol. Need to get out of my cowardly phase!
That said, a friend of mine is on the same site as me (PlentyOfFish) and he's had a number of dates, though none of them have, as of yet, proved to be fruitful.
I guess it's luck of the draw.
What's this site?
As for that one who I have been messaging on free dating, I have thought about asking her out, but I didn't want to pressure her/put her off.
Thanks for the earlier messages. I will definitely ditch the cheesy chat-up line.
And in response to the person who is asking about the sites. I have tried zoosk, okcupid and POF. There are others like match like require payment, which I am not doing.
Maybe he doesn't want to scare you off by suggesting it too quickly? Maybe bring up restaurants or coffee shops in a conversation, ask him which ones he likes (or what his favourite food is); hopefully he'll return the question, and you can reply with "I like Costa, you'll have to take me there sometime." - that at least shows him that you've thought about meeting, and would likely accept his invitation.
If you feel like there's a connection there, then you might as well go for it. You can always use the above strategy, ask her favourite food or drink, wait for her reply, then message back with something along the lines of "so you like TGI's? You'll have to let me take you there sometime." See if she responds to that, or whether she overlooks the answer.
I am on PoF, but I thought that Zoosk and okCupid required payment?
What's your profile name on POF?
You are right about Zoosk. I had an email this afternoon to say I need to subscribe after my month's free pass has expired, so I deleted my account.
OKCupid is 100% free as far as I know. I have been able to message people but not see my sent messages.
Sometimes I feel like I want my money back.
No, but seriously I do think that the paid sites are ones where people are being more serious, but of course people dont want to pay.
I dont know the state of different sites nowadays and whether match is any good.
okcupid, and yes I didn't want to pay (to online date) either :P
Yeah I think its something like that. He's plays lots of instruments and we have been chatting about music a lot. So today I mentioned that if we meet up and get on then maybe he can teach me some of the basics of guitar? That doesn't have to happen but It shows I'm taking an interest in his things and sorta hints that I do want to meet at some point. I'm hoping that's ok
But I still need to get 100% or as close to it as I can first and lose some more weight. So Maybe in the winter I may put profiles up again.
I've tried a few sites but have never got anywhere. I seem to just attract the crazy women or Russians wanting a visa. The problem is that I'm just no good at selling myself. The same happens when applying for jobs too.
My friend has had no luck with online dating but has with Tinder, lots of dates and conversations so you might want to try that too?
Persist, be proactive, have fun and always be honest, I hope it works out for you and everyone else in their search for love.
I wonder, is there a site that simply matches you against someone based on a few details and then forces you to go on at least one date with them before you can see anyone else? Maybe you get 3 skips a week or something. You're not able to message them at all before the date, the site simply send you their basic details, photo and provides the date location and time - maybe they could even book it for you. Maybe the restaurant then has to confirm that you both turned up to the site before the next person comes up
Sounds like an interesting concept for a site. You should try the idea. It could be a money spinner.
However, I wonder how many people would join a site that "forced" them to go on a certain number of dates and there might be a problem with liability if the date is organised by the dating site.
Good luck making your first million.