Self harm

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  [Deleted User] Posts: 1,218

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  10/04/07 - 21:50 #2

  Is she emo?

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  [Deleted User] Posts: 1,713

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  10/04/07 - 21:50 #3

  sleepydove wrote:

  I recently noticed that my flatmate has begun to cut herself on her wrists and arms.
  
  I have no experience with this. How do I deal with it? She already has a psychiatrist but he actually seems to be out of his depth with her. How can I help?

  just keep an eye on her
  if you are worried phone up where she goes to see her shrink and ask for advice from them
  a lot of people are going to come on here and say she is attention seeking
  yes she is but why? That is the question
  
  tell her you are their for her and want to help and see what she needs all the best

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  System Posts: 2,096,970

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  10/04/07 - 21:55 #4

  Try and be there as much as you can to talk to her about her problems. Don't let her bottle them up because (in my experience) that's when self-harmers tend to cut. Don't confiscate any items that you think she's self-harming with, because that will just open her up to harming with less hygienic methods. Self harmers usually tend to be very careful about tending to their wounds, so don't worry too much about that unless she contacts you and is in serious trouble.
  
  Rather than seeing a psychiatrist, she may want to talk to a counsellor. They are trained to talk about problems and also come up with solutions that don't involve clinical diagnoses. A counsellor with experience of self-harming shouldn't be too hard to find. They'll be able to work out more suitable methods for expressing her anger/sadness/frustration without the use of medication, which can often do more harm than good with self-harmers.
  
  One thing I would suggest is to not let the thing overwhelm you both. be there as much as you can for her, but if it gets too much then seek some help together. Let her know that you're not abandoning her, just trying to help her out.
  
  Hope that helps. My ex self-harmed, so I have a little experience. PM me if you like

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  firehawk1 Posts: 2,048

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  10/04/07 - 21:56 #5

  talk to her about it but remember, be sensitive and make the environment and atmosphere VERY comfortable and easy...so she can talk about it.

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  loz2601 Posts: 6,892

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  10/04/07 - 22:03 #6

  I have a friend who had obvious cuts on her stomach and wrists for years and, once they had been seen, (accidentally as she always wore long sleeves, even in summer) blamed them on her cat.
  I think it's something they have to feel comfortable about to talk about - can you contact her psychatrist and just tell him/her what you know? It might help.
  As someone else has said, generally self-harmers restrict the external damage and will care for the wounds, so unless her behaviour dramatically changes, don't do anything drastic.
  The person I knew never advanced on her cutting, as we made it obvious we were there for her if she needed to talk.
  Eventually she told us why she did it, and with patience we managed to get her out of her state of mind.
  Most importantly - dont treat her any differently. Self harmers (from the little I know) are often paranoid about themselves. Treating them as if there is something wrong won't help in stabilising them. Pretend there's nothing wrong, and just let her know you are there for her.

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