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Am I selfish?
Guest82722
Posts: 10,019 Forum Member
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I went into a decent, 3 star type hotel/restaurant for lunch today.
I was on my own. Unfortunately, all three sets of two seats were taken- but there were plenty of four seat tables available.
It was only 12 noon. I've been here before, and it's never been full by 1pm before- so taking a table for 4 ought not to be a problem.
But, unfortunately by 12.30 it was getting full. So a mum, dad, and 5 year old girl decided to join me.
Now we are not talking McDonalds, or Kentucky Fried Chicken here- we're talking what should be a quiet place to have a proper (not fast food) meal. I'd already ordered my roast beef and yorkshire pudding, and all the trimmings- but I really wasn't banking on a family of three bickering all the way through it. Now I would never seat myself at someone's table. I would just think 'There's more than one place to eat in town' and go elsewhere. I don't mind any number of people at other tables- but strangers (bickering ones at that) ruined my meal.
So- am I selfish wanting a table to myself?
I was on my own. Unfortunately, all three sets of two seats were taken- but there were plenty of four seat tables available.
It was only 12 noon. I've been here before, and it's never been full by 1pm before- so taking a table for 4 ought not to be a problem.
But, unfortunately by 12.30 it was getting full. So a mum, dad, and 5 year old girl decided to join me.
Now we are not talking McDonalds, or Kentucky Fried Chicken here- we're talking what should be a quiet place to have a proper (not fast food) meal. I'd already ordered my roast beef and yorkshire pudding, and all the trimmings- but I really wasn't banking on a family of three bickering all the way through it. Now I would never seat myself at someone's table. I would just think 'There's more than one place to eat in town' and go elsewhere. I don't mind any number of people at other tables- but strangers (bickering ones at that) ruined my meal.
So- am I selfish wanting a table to myself?
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Absolutely not. Did they ask?
If all the other tables were taken and there genuinely weren't any 2-seater tables available, then what choice did you have? Also where you seated or did you choose the table yourself?
Either way it sounds like you had no choice. Were there other tables free?
I had that a few years ago, and then the woman had the cheek to ask me could I leave so that her friend could join her? I told her "no", but the look on my face told her to fook right off.
Book a holiday and you are charged extra for a single room.
Just why should we be looked down on like there is something wrong with us and why in your case should you be forced to share with people you don't know and be shamed into doing it?
It's their fault and problem not yours to have to adjust for their failing.
I would feel very uncomfortable had that happened to me even if it was in a fast food restaurant.
Did they check if it was okay to sit with you?
Ah a pointless post and run post.
Explain your reasons or be ignored.
Families like those seem to think that they're entitled to encroach on others' tables too. You're totally entitled to your own space, especially if you're on a work lunch (anytime really).
One of my pleasures is to eat alone when I'm out on a shopping trip in town. Totally ruined if a pack of other plebs park themselves down alongside me and I'm subject to not only their inane conversation but also their disgusting eating habits (and farting, in one case when I was at the airport not so long ago).
I fooking hate the general public.
It's a decent pub/hotel/restuarant establishment.
No waitresses to greet you and tell you where to sit.
The family didn't ask if they cold join me.
It as 'Is anyone sitting here'
I thought about inventing 3 fictitious friends!
By the way- I'm never selfish on trains. I can't stand it when one or two people try to keep a block of 4 seats to themselves. I always make sure any bags are overhead, or under my seat, or on my lap. But the number of times on a train you have to stare at someone and they still won't move their bags!!!
No, a meal is different. You want a quiet meal without having to listen to a load of petty arguments.
I agree with you. How incredibly rude to just sit down without asking you first.
If it was me who was coming in and there were no available tables, I'd wait or leave, I certainly wouldn't impose myself upon someone sitting alone, or judge them for taking up a big table as for all I know they may have been asked to sit there by the staff.
From your past posts I'd always judged you as an okay person Miss PG, but after reading this one I have elevated you to Super Okay Person.
I'd be honoured to share your table, (after I'd asked you, and provided that you'd agreed.)
Ha, is that because of my expressed hatred of Ver General Public?
Thank you, and take the seat, well, as long as you're hot. Strangely enough, if a convention of Michael Fassbender & Paddy Considine lookalikes rudely decided to hijack my table, I really wouldn't object
If they ate with their mouths open though, that's another matter....
That thought was bad enough let alone having to eat the whole meal with an uninvited stranger! I find it bad enough in an empty restaurant when they seat everyone close together instead of making the most of the space. Last time we went to nandos there was only one other table in and they seated us next to them so we had to endure the group of giggly preteens messing about throughout the whole meal when there were other tables free.
Did up you actually express your desire to eat alone or did up you just keep quiet and allowed the family do as they pleased unchallenged?
I would have been really annoyed! Especially if they bickered all the time
You're charged more because it is more expensive per head to have a single room than a double...
It's like when people complain about holidays being more expensive in school holiday time than term time. .. supply and demand
Admit it, it was you really wasn't it ;-)
And by the way OP, you weren't being selfish. I'd have been annoyed too.
No. But then you know this.
The father said 'Are these seats taken?' whilst preparing to sit down anyway- which basically meant he was having them anyway.
A disapproving look which meant his families company was not welcome didn't work.
Under those circumstances you eat as quickly as possible.
As I left he put all the shopping on the chair I had just vacated- presumably do deter any single people from taking the seat.
Now now, those Toby Carvery Brussels sprouts have side-effects on us ALL!
I would be very uncomfortable sitting at a table eating a proper "knife and fork" dinner with a family of three strangers at the same table. It wouldn't be so bad if it were one person or if there were two of you and two of them, but what you describe would feel like being a stranger in your own space.
I wouldn't have a problem if it were a fast food place where I could read a book or the paper. And I am quite happy if somebody comes and sits in the seat opposite me in Nero or Costa, for instance, but what you describe is just rude.
However, if there were other tables available and they chose yours, then no, it's not selfish to want to eat alone.
I also think it depends on the type of place you're eating. In noodle bars and the exceptionally hilarious (with brilliant food) Wong Kei's in Chinatown, you get shoved on huge 12 seater banquet tables with loads of people you don't know.
I would have also made my displeasure known at the till!..... You should have at the very least had a free meal!....;-)