id make a big deal with the daughter about how you cant wait to spend the weekend with her,
tell her you normally have so much fun when shes away doing real girlie things, sat morning get dressed and take her out for her breakfast, stop on the way home take her to the movies or stop off and get a dvd, popcorn and dig out the nail varnish,
home, lovely big hot bath. all dolled up. my 4yr old and i do this once a month, she loves it, its real quality girlie time. either way dont treat it that your "begrudging him a night off", enjoy yourself with her and begrudge the fact that you have a beaultiful llittle girl whos growing up very quickly and then you wont want her to leave you.
the only person you will succeed in driving up the walls is yourself, so keep the upper hand about it all, have some respect for yourself and your daughter and dont give in to his pathetic attempt to sabotage your relationship with your daughter. (my opinion - hes trying to get you to take out your bad feelings on her)
maybe im wrong! but dont stress yourself about it all, it will all show inyour paperwork for your review
I see, I work in childrens services (old social services) and I doubt you would be surprised at how many malicious calls there are about ex partners claiming abuse. All have to be investigated of course because they cannot be dismissed at the point of contact. Its a huge waste of resources.
You're right - I certainly wouldn't be at all surprised.
I never cease to be amazed at the number of people whose emotions prevent them from behaving rationally.
I see, I work in childrens services (old social services) and I doubt you would be surprised at how many malicious calls there are about ex partners claiming abuse. All have to be investigated of course because they cannot be dismissed at the point of contact. Its a huge waste of resources.
Most have some sort of valid point but but cloud it with other agenda's....tied in with the conflict within the relationship.
The law in Spain has been changed as there have been too many men murdering their wives. Domestic violence is a criminal offence now and the police will take the man away and lock him up and ask questions later. This is to protect oppressed and abused women and a good thing,
However the Brits have moved in and as soon as there is a domsetic, some wives uses this law to see their man carted of to jail. This law is getting abused by these few and I know of 2 men that have been carted off, no access to their kids, all over, in 1 case the woman having an affair and wanting the man out of her life. Nothing to do with being abused. The only thing they have abused is the law purely for one upmanship. A disgrace!
When I first read Jess's post I though she should go and collect her daughter early. And nothing I have read since has changed my mind. eng123's post describes exactly why - because it is the daughter's welfare and feelings which should be paramount.
If the hubby could easily leave her with his parents I would have thought he would have done that, so I would worry who he would get to babysit. Jess may feel righteously angry about the situation, but her daughter should not be made to feel she is a problem which has to be sorted out. (Although if the grandparents are willing and able to babysit, that would presumably be great for everyone concerned.)
I feel sorry for you Jess, I can strongly relate actually.
Its not a nice situation to be in (for mother, father or child to be fair), its really stressful but I would say as advice on this occasion show yourself to be co-operative, it will help hugely.
Also it would be good for you to know that in future if something comes up will you have access, you might be able to ask you ex to babysit with no bother.
I'm in a similar situation so PM me if you ever want advice/rant :-)
Comments
OMG I want to come too
You're right - I certainly wouldn't be at all surprised.
I never cease to be amazed at the number of people whose emotions prevent them from behaving rationally.
... which is exactly the situation under discussion in this thread.
The law in Spain has been changed as there have been too many men murdering their wives. Domestic violence is a criminal offence now and the police will take the man away and lock him up and ask questions later. This is to protect oppressed and abused women and a good thing,
However the Brits have moved in and as soon as there is a domsetic, some wives uses this law to see their man carted of to jail. This law is getting abused by these few and I know of 2 men that have been carted off, no access to their kids, all over, in 1 case the woman having an affair and wanting the man out of her life. Nothing to do with being abused. The only thing they have abused is the law purely for one upmanship. A disgrace!
If the hubby could easily leave her with his parents I would have thought he would have done that, so I would worry who he would get to babysit. Jess may feel righteously angry about the situation, but her daughter should not be made to feel she is a problem which has to be sorted out. (Although if the grandparents are willing and able to babysit, that would presumably be great for everyone concerned.)
Its not a nice situation to be in (for mother, father or child to be fair), its really stressful but I would say as advice on this occasion show yourself to be co-operative, it will help hugely.
Also it would be good for you to know that in future if something comes up will you have access, you might be able to ask you ex to babysit with no bother.
I'm in a similar situation so PM me if you ever want advice/rant :-)