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Any people who have some sort of social anxiety or severe shyness?
highland paddy
Posts: 672 Forum Member
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I think I fall into this category. I am quite shy and conscious of what others are thinking of me and it has held me back through life. For example at uni I would be reluctant to ask for help or advice from tutors and wouldn't even like going to small classes and ended up not doing well. I have only ever had a very small circle of friends and don't get to know new people easily. And of course talking to the opposite sex.
I think I basically have an avoidant personality. I am not scared by crowds or can't face people or anything but don't function as well socially as I should. Are any of you the same and have any of you managed to conquer it?
I think I basically have an avoidant personality. I am not scared by crowds or can't face people or anything but don't function as well socially as I should. Are any of you the same and have any of you managed to conquer it?
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Socially awkward. Shy, nervous and no confidence.
Self esteem zero.
Yes, I'm like this aswell. I just tend to stay away from big crowds and sometimes I mostly want to be alone.
Sometimes I'm also scared to ask for something or ask a question, it just seems like a big thing for me.
I just hate it. I hate people. I hate social situations.
Only 2 or 3 people who know me know this though.
I have always been a loner happy in my own company but prepared to converse with others as long as they do not talk crap
I was taught at a secondary school went to college but ended up as an officer in the British army and buggered off overseas aged 41, 20 years ago, don't worry about it
oldcrakpot
Me too.
Well thats better than me, I'm nearly 28 and haven't had any friends since I was 13. I hear you with regards to the opposite sex, I'm the same, never had a gf, never kissed a girl, never dated a girl, still a virgin etc all that stuff.
I think when it comes to trying to break social anxiety you have to work at it and deal with it as it is a problem. I simply ignored up until the age of 25/26. Thought my situation was beyond hope, that what I've written in the first paragraph was me for the rest of my life so seriously considered suicide (infact I was in the process of preparing for it until I got caught doing so by a family member). Since then I've had counselling and therapy etc, it gave me a platform for a new beginning, and for the first time, trying to address how I can go about and change this.
I'm currently reading a book called mind over mood, a CBT specialist book that helps deal with peoples thought patterns and how those like myself who have very low self esteem to begin with, who have so many unecessary and ridiculously negative viewpoints about themeselves (bringing about the depression) and how those thoughts can be changed into a more 'rational' and 'realistic' thought process.
As with regards to the social contact, I've improved my social skills over the past two years (in college I'm repeating my a levels, redoing my education), because for the first time I'm actually trying to improve it. For me to break my social anxiety and improve my social skills, I have to put myself in more social situations, or situations that I'm not naturally confident in. Because thats the only way I'm going to win this and overcome it, no matter how shit it gets.
I'm looking to do some volunteering over the next 6 months or so. I want to join a gym and take up some driving lessons. Over the past two years I've been so focused on redoing my education (between ages 18-25 I didnt do much work because of my depression, only came out with a 2.2 in a career I didn't want to do) that that has taken up so much time.
If you socially avoiding people, you have address why you're doing that and how you can train your way ought of it. It takes hard work, very uncomfortable at times, but it can be done.
By the way this isn't aimed at anyone paticular in this thread, just my general views about those people who claim to suffer from it. I hope I don't cause any offence.
Well obviously you're going to cause offence using terms like 'weakness' to describe what most people are born like and further shaped by life. And yes, social anxiety and avoidant personality are seen by psychiatry as mental disorders.
I wish you all the best
It seems like you want to be rude and offensive because nobody is trying to compare schizophrenia to anxiety disorder and not everyone finds it simple to 'get over their social awkward tendencies' and go on to 'whine about their problems online and expect sympathy'.
I don't think I've talked to anyone about my social anxiety except to my GP.
I've never been the most outgoing person but it really took off a couple of years ago when taking my A Levels and undergoing huge amounts of stress. I've been on anti-depressants since and haven't had the desire to go out and socialise. My Uni days have sucked so far, I have a number of acquaintances but none that I'd consider 'friends'.
It sadly has to be said that when a person posts such a horrible post, talking utter crap and clearly having no real idea what they are talking about, it will be offensive to some.
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What an admirable post, your positive attitude shines through. You deserve every happiness and I hope you achieve it.
Don't worry about the never been kissed stuff. As your confidence grows, you'll find people less daunting and you won't be intimidated.
I wish you luck x
It has affected every area of my life, things the average person takes for granted I can't do or have never done thanks to my SA, things such as driving, public transport, planes I can't do.
I fought for many years trying to find a cure or some relief, everything from CBT to hypnosis, nothing worked, its been easier since I gave up trying and just accepted that this is the way I am
Never heard narcissism or personality disorder talked about in respectful terms. Do you have it?
I don't think I have social anxiety. That doesn't describe how I feel. I just don't like going out. I'm not shy or nervous being with other people. They just irritate me.