I know it's horrible but just try your best to ignore the idiots and maybe even wear some earphones and listen to music so you won't even hear what they say.
I get abuse shouted at me the odd time, funnily enough always from young/middle aged men who are driving around and are the sort who do manual work (not sure why it's those types). I wear ear-cancelling headphones which helps in giving those people who shout abuse the attention their deserve - total ignorance.
I get abuse shouted at me the odd time, funnily enough always from young/middle aged men who are driving around and are the sort who do manual work (not sure why it's those types). I wear ear-cancelling headphones which helps in giving those people who shout abuse the attention their deserve - total ignorance.
I think you mean noise cancelling headphones.
Yes I know what you mean about lads in white vans. Bloody morons most of em. I got heckled in the the lake district as I was crossing the road. They sped up as I was walking across nearly running me over. I was wearing a cerise coloured shirt. Morons shouted out the window, 'nice blouse' as they drove past. Brain dead idiots! They must think they're SO funny.
Yes I know what you mean about lads in white vans. Bloody morons most of em. I got heckled in the the lake district as I was crossing the road. They sped up as I was walking across nearly running me over. I was wearing a cerise coloured shirt. Morons shouted out the window, 'nice blouse' as they drove past. Brain dead idiots! They must think they're SO funny.
I'm sorry, but that is hilarious!:D:D
Also, I would hardly construe 'nice blouse' as abuse!!:eek:
I would just shrug it off, although I know not everyone is able to do that. Thick skin usually comes with age!
I was in a rough area the other day and while I was waiting for someone I decided to read a book I had with me. A car of chavs went past and it must have been the first time they had seen anyone read a book since school. They shouted in an extraordinary mock upper-class accent "Ohhh! To beee or not to beee!" This I guess was the only literature they knew, and it was meant to mock I think.
Hannah;51566979']I wasn't sure whether to post this in advice or in general discussion. Do you get abuse when you go out? I seem to get it every time I go out? which is the reason why I am asking. If you were going to abuse someone why would you do it? What makes someone look like an easy target??
Hannah;51567219']Verbal abuse mostly. Every single time I go out I either get someone from their cars shouting abuse (which also happens mostly) or it's someone walking past who makes a horrible comment. It happens every single time and it always happens in public, on the street etc not indoors, anyone know why??
Because you seem like you're normal.
You see, chavs and scrotes of society, tend to recognise other people that dont have needles hanging out of their arm, or dont have a plethora of children they are ignoring.
In short, they see a respectable person, going about their business, in short, the person who isnt going to turn around and murder them with an axe for being a idiot.
Unfortunately, there are some horrible people in society, who find it enjoyable to abuse other members of the public that wont fight back.
It doesn't matter if you are over weight,you don't deserve abuse,If you feel this is the problem then it may be giving you low self esteem.
BODY LANGUAGE may be the problem, do you walk round with the body language of a victim. bullies love an easy touch.
Try and look at yourself differently,look up articles on body language,remember you don't apologise to anyone for living.
I watched a movie a few years back. a young overweight coloured girl who had an awful upbringing, she was very timid, she also walked round and stood like a victim ,she received help and counselling by someone who cared.
over a short period of time she stopped being a victim, she walked round rightly believing this is me world,accept it.
i wilt try and remember the movie it may be worth you watching, it is very upsetting but also uplifting as she turns her life around.
I've never hurled abuse at anyone for their appearance but this movie hammered home to me why some people walk round very meekly.
EDIT the movie was called Precious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC-lklfr4_E
Unfortunately, there are some horrible people in society, who find it enjoyable to abuse other members of the public that wont fight back.
Their occasional comeuppance comes when they pick on the wrong target, and they realise only far too late that they've picked a battle with someone who is that unbalanced that they're quite happy to kill them in revenge.
I used to get this a bit when I was younger ,It really is horrible :mad: .What kind of vile creature is brought up to think it's old to shout abuse at people they don't know in the street? I don't get it anymore now I'm older ,it's not like i've lost a lot of weight or got prettier but normally the people who do this are younger ( I say this but there expectations of vile men in clubs who rude to face your about the way you look ) and younger boys tend have a terrible idea of what fat is supposed to be ,they are horrible and come with stuff like ' anyone over a size 8 is fat ' , a lot of them do grow up though :cool:.
It seems to help to look non-descript it in todays society.
The only advice I would give to anyone is when you go out-especially in towns and cities-always walk purposefully like you know where you are and where you are going. Looking aimless and shabby seems to attract attention.
Obviously its possible to be in the wrong place at the wrong time,and humans driven by alcohol drugs and boredom act like Hyena packs at times. Ofcourse its not the fault of alcohol drugs or boredom -The Human Race clearly still has a long way to go.
I've noticed in the last five years or so it's become more and more common for people to shout abuse at me out of their cars when I'm walking next to a main road.
It never used to happen AT ALL and I don't particularly stand out as a person (such as being massively overweight).
I just think it's part of the general breakdown in society. Parents don't correct their children's' bad behaviour anymore, and many classrooms are like zoos these days. Kids know that no matter how badly they behave, they won't be beaten with a cane or properly punished.
Children don't fear the consequences of their actions from their parents, their teachers or the police. On the rare occasions the police actually do anything, the courts don't inflict a proper punishment.
I'm afraid general standards of behaviour have gone down the pan, gradually, over the last 20 years or so.
Their occasional comeuppance comes when they pick on the wrong target, and they realise only far too late that they've picked a battle with someone who is that unbalanced that they're quite happy to kill them in revenge.
Yes its nice to see them fall.
Remember one idiot in the Pub taking the mickey out of a young lad in his early 20s who was going a bit bald.He didn't even know the lad.just a stupid insulting remark by the bar.
You could see the lad had done a bit of boxing as he had no hesitation, bang,bang bang. the idiot was on the floor in seconds,didn't know what hit him.
Lesson in life ..never take the mickey out of a young man who is going bald.
to close to the heart.
I know how you feel, I used to get all sorts of comments about my spots and shit like that paticularly when I was 15,16 from people younger than me but don't let it get you down trust, just because they say these things, people who you will never see again doesn't make it true.
Have to admit these days though ever since i've actually gained more confidence in myself I probably get more looks than the majority of other guys in my course and any comments i get from girls on my course are complimentary .
SO yeah just try and have more self confidence and it will show .
I've noticed in the last five years or so it's become more and more common for people to shout abuse at me out of their cars when I'm walking next to a main road.
It never used to happen AT ALL and I don't particularly stand out as a person (such as being massively overweight).
I just think it's part of the general breakdown in society. Parents don't correct their children's' bad behaviour anymore, and many classrooms are like zoos these days. Kids know that no matter how badly they behave, they won't be beaten with a cane or properly punished.
Children don't fear the consequences of their actions from their parents, their teachers or the police. On the rare occasions the police actually do anything, the courts don't inflict a proper punishment.
I'm afraid general standards of behaviour have gone down the pan, gradually, over the last 20 years or so.
Government anti-obesity propaganda also plays a big part in this.
I got a few comments when I was underweight due to illness, heard things like Bag-head or Smack-head, these morons will pick anything to mock people about. I think they are the ones who feel insecure and they try to ridicule people to feel better about themselves.
I can't believe tha people have to put up with this crap!
I am geniunely shocked that these things go on on a regular basis.. Maybe I just don't go to the "right "places;)
I'm genuinely surprised, that's for sure. I can honestly say that since I was young enough to attract anyone's attention (which was about 40 years ago), I've never had anyone shout abuse at me on a random basis, and I've actually never heard it being done to anyone else. I can only assume that the OP lives in an extremely rough area, because it's certainly not a regular occurrence elsewhere.
I'm genuinely surprised, that's for sure. I can honestly say that since I was young enough to attract anyone's attention (which was about 40 years ago), I've never had anyone shout abuse at me on a random basis, and I've actually never heard it being done to anyone else. I can only assume that the OP lives in an extremely rough area, because it's certainly not a regular occurrence elsewhere.
Same goes for me. I think a lot of it is peoples lack of self confidence which manifests itself as paranoia. So, it might actually be their distorted perceptions of what people are saying/doing, rather than what is actually happening.
I have had a few digs from strangers and it has always been when wearing my glasses. I don't consider myself at all ugly so I can only think people go around looking for easy targets and spectacles are seen as a weakness or something.
The funny thing is, the people I have seen hurling abuse at strangers are always either gross or very ordinary looking themselves! They must do it to try to boost their own self esteems/look big.
:Hannah I'm sorry you've had such rotten experiences and I wish I could offer some sage advice, but like you I can't understand the ignorance of some people.
My sister-in-law has bells palsy, and as far as I know she hasn't been shouted at in the street, but what I have noticed while out with her in public is that some people give her some very strange looks, sometimes obvious stares, or whip their heads round when they walk past to look at her as if they've just seen something really startling.:mad: These are normal day to day people, not chavs.
I've often wanted to ask them why they are staring, but because my SIL pretends it's not happening and does not mention it, neither can I. She's such a lovely person and I can't help thinking it must make her uncomfortable when she goes out.
Although she has a little facial paralysis on one side I never thought it that noticeable and wish someone would explain why people think it's acceptable to stare and make someone feel bad.
I get abuse shouted at me the odd time, funnily enough always from young/middle aged men who are driving around and are the sort who do manual work (not sure why it's those types). I wear ear-cancelling headphones which helps in giving those people who shout abuse the attention their deserve - total ignorance.
I have found this too, on more than one occasion. Once, a few years ago, I was a size 16 at the time so I was overweight but hardly massive, I had just lost a few stone so was feeling pretty good and just walking up to the shop, not showing any flesh or wearing anything clingy - a white truck drives past (I think one of those council litter pickers or gardeners) and the guy yells out the window at me "lose some weight!" I mean, WTF?? What kind of brain-dead, nasty little moron thinks it's ok to shout insults at total strangers who are minding their own business? They are to be pitied for the sad little lives they clearly lead.
I'm genuinely surprised, that's for sure. I can honestly say that since I was young enough to attract anyone's attention (which was about 40 years ago), I've never had anyone shout abuse at me on a random basis, and I've actually never heard it being done to anyone else. I can only assume that the OP lives in an extremely rough area, because it's certainly not a regular occurrence elsewhere.
It's unlikely that you would get abuse though, unless you fit a certain criteria - people like that tend to target young, or vunerable looking people -somebody who they can easily 'bully'. Im 26, I look young, Im small, and shy - I get people making comments, or being rude so often; as if people think I'm an easy target -Im more likely to burst into tears than bite back so they can get away with it. This doesnt happen to my sister or my mother; who both live in the same area, both look confident, tall and appear their age, for some reason that means they dont get any 'bother' .
I dont live in a rough area in any way, but it is a mis-mash of people from different countries and cultures - everybody seems to have a different upbringing on how you treat women, or young people, different ideas of 'respect'.
I do understand some of the OP's worries, I tend to stay off walking by main roads, if I can help it as there's always traffic jams and people sitting in their cars getting frustrated and bored. It's hard but I guess you have to develop a thick thin to it all; I'd love to know how to do that though...
Comments
I think you mean noise cancelling headphones.
Yes I know what you mean about lads in white vans. Bloody morons most of em. I got heckled in the the lake district as I was crossing the road. They sped up as I was walking across nearly running me over. I was wearing a cerise coloured shirt. Morons shouted out the window, 'nice blouse' as they drove past. Brain dead idiots! They must think they're SO funny.
I'm sorry, but that is hilarious!:D:D
Also, I would hardly construe 'nice blouse' as abuse!!:eek:
I am geniunely shocked that these things go on on a regular basis.. Maybe I just don't go to the "right "places;)
I was in a rough area the other day and while I was waiting for someone I decided to read a book I had with me. A car of chavs went past and it must have been the first time they had seen anyone read a book since school. They shouted in an extraordinary mock upper-class accent "Ohhh! To beee or not to beee!" This I guess was the only literature they knew, and it was meant to mock I think.
Because you seem like you're normal.
You see, chavs and scrotes of society, tend to recognise other people that dont have needles hanging out of their arm, or dont have a plethora of children they are ignoring.
In short, they see a respectable person, going about their business, in short, the person who isnt going to turn around and murder them with an axe for being a idiot.
Unfortunately, there are some horrible people in society, who find it enjoyable to abuse other members of the public that wont fight back.
BODY LANGUAGE may be the problem, do you walk round with the body language of a victim. bullies love an easy touch.
Try and look at yourself differently,look up articles on body language,remember you don't apologise to anyone for living.
I watched a movie a few years back. a young overweight coloured girl who had an awful upbringing, she was very timid, she also walked round and stood like a victim ,she received help and counselling by someone who cared.
over a short period of time she stopped being a victim, she walked round rightly believing this is me world,accept it.
i wilt try and remember the movie it may be worth you watching, it is very upsetting but also uplifting as she turns her life around.
I've never hurled abuse at anyone for their appearance but this movie hammered home to me why some people walk round very meekly.
EDIT the movie was called Precious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC-lklfr4_E
Their occasional comeuppance comes when they pick on the wrong target, and they realise only far too late that they've picked a battle with someone who is that unbalanced that they're quite happy to kill them in revenge.
The only advice I would give to anyone is when you go out-especially in towns and cities-always walk purposefully like you know where you are and where you are going. Looking aimless and shabby seems to attract attention.
Obviously its possible to be in the wrong place at the wrong time,and humans driven by alcohol drugs and boredom act like Hyena packs at times. Ofcourse its not the fault of alcohol drugs or boredom -The Human Race clearly still has a long way to go.
It never used to happen AT ALL and I don't particularly stand out as a person (such as being massively overweight).
I just think it's part of the general breakdown in society. Parents don't correct their children's' bad behaviour anymore, and many classrooms are like zoos these days. Kids know that no matter how badly they behave, they won't be beaten with a cane or properly punished.
Children don't fear the consequences of their actions from their parents, their teachers or the police. On the rare occasions the police actually do anything, the courts don't inflict a proper punishment.
I'm afraid general standards of behaviour have gone down the pan, gradually, over the last 20 years or so.
Remember one idiot in the Pub taking the mickey out of a young lad in his early 20s who was going a bit bald.He didn't even know the lad.just a stupid insulting remark by the bar.
You could see the lad had done a bit of boxing as he had no hesitation, bang,bang bang. the idiot was on the floor in seconds,didn't know what hit him.
Lesson in life ..never take the mickey out of a young man who is going bald.
to close to the heart.
Have to admit these days though ever since i've actually gained more confidence in myself I probably get more looks than the majority of other guys in my course and any comments i get from girls on my course are complimentary
SO yeah just try and have more self confidence and it will show
Government anti-obesity propaganda also plays a big part in this.
I'm genuinely surprised, that's for sure. I can honestly say that since I was young enough to attract anyone's attention (which was about 40 years ago), I've never had anyone shout abuse at me on a random basis, and I've actually never heard it being done to anyone else. I can only assume that the OP lives in an extremely rough area, because it's certainly not a regular occurrence elsewhere.
Same goes for me. I think a lot of it is peoples lack of self confidence which manifests itself as paranoia. So, it might actually be their distorted perceptions of what people are saying/doing, rather than what is actually happening.
It is if you're a man.
Would it be really awful of me to say that the thought might also have crossed my mind (although never my lips) if I'd seen a bloke in a cerise shirt?
The funny thing is, the people I have seen hurling abuse at strangers are always either gross or very ordinary looking themselves! They must do it to try to boost their own self esteems/look big.
Or they have done it in groups.
My sister-in-law has bells palsy, and as far as I know she hasn't been shouted at in the street, but what I have noticed while out with her in public is that some people give her some very strange looks, sometimes obvious stares, or whip their heads round when they walk past to look at her as if they've just seen something really startling.:mad: These are normal day to day people, not chavs.
I've often wanted to ask them why they are staring, but because my SIL pretends it's not happening and does not mention it, neither can I. She's such a lovely person and I can't help thinking it must make her uncomfortable when she goes out.
Although she has a little facial paralysis on one side I never thought it that noticeable and wish someone would explain why people think it's acceptable to stare and make someone feel bad.
I have found this too, on more than one occasion. Once, a few years ago, I was a size 16 at the time so I was overweight but hardly massive, I had just lost a few stone so was feeling pretty good and just walking up to the shop, not showing any flesh or wearing anything clingy - a white truck drives past (I think one of those council litter pickers or gardeners) and the guy yells out the window at me "lose some weight!" I mean, WTF?? What kind of brain-dead, nasty little moron thinks it's ok to shout insults at total strangers who are minding their own business? They are to be pitied for the sad little lives they clearly lead.
It's unlikely that you would get abuse though, unless you fit a certain criteria - people like that tend to target young, or vunerable looking people -somebody who they can easily 'bully'. Im 26, I look young, Im small, and shy - I get people making comments, or being rude so often; as if people think I'm an easy target -Im more likely to burst into tears than bite back so they can get away with it. This doesnt happen to my sister or my mother; who both live in the same area, both look confident, tall and appear their age, for some reason that means they dont get any 'bother' .
I dont live in a rough area in any way, but it is a mis-mash of people from different countries and cultures - everybody seems to have a different upbringing on how you treat women, or young people, different ideas of 'respect'.
I do understand some of the OP's worries, I tend to stay off walking by main roads, if I can help it as there's always traffic jams and people sitting in their cars getting frustrated and bored. It's hard but I guess you have to develop a thick thin to it all; I'd love to know how to do that though...