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Doing a sh*t 'round the back of Argos
max_garfield
Posts: 3,582 Forum Member
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I know this thread may be somewhat crude but I want to know if this has happened to anyone else..
Last night I was out (not drinking or anything like that, I was actually on my way home which is around 20-25 minutes away) and I desperately needed a....sh*t. It was okay at first but then I was getting back pains and it was kind of like if I do not do this now, I will sh*t myself.
There's these shopping stores I was approaching (clintons cards, new look etc) and Argos was right on the end (it was closed at this time I should add) so I walked around the back and saw that it was quiet and did the unthinkable. The RELIEF!
But now I feel kinda bad about doing it there.
But have any of you ever been cut short unexpectedly when outdoors with no access to a toilet??
Last night I was out (not drinking or anything like that, I was actually on my way home which is around 20-25 minutes away) and I desperately needed a....sh*t. It was okay at first but then I was getting back pains and it was kind of like if I do not do this now, I will sh*t myself.
There's these shopping stores I was approaching (clintons cards, new look etc) and Argos was right on the end (it was closed at this time I should add) so I walked around the back and saw that it was quiet and did the unthinkable. The RELIEF!
But now I feel kinda bad about doing it there.
But have any of you ever been cut short unexpectedly when outdoors with no access to a toilet??
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Comments
You do realise that they have video cameras with face recognition technology installed on the back of all Argos stores don't you?
I doubt the turd exists.
I didn't think it'd be around the back and even though I obviously don't want THAT on camera, what harm can be done? They don't know my address to come to my house
You'll be fine. Security cameras can only film stuff that actually happened.
"eh up, Bert, some bastard has taken a dump outside the goods entrance. Tell the gaffer, he might want to run the CCTV to see who it is"
"In other local news, police are looking for a young man who was caught with his pants down, defecating at the back of Argos. Inspector Plod of the local constabulary told us "This is a particularly nasty offence, and the offender wasn't even discreet about it. We are studying the images with a view to releasing them, in case a member of the public recognises the offender. He may well be looking at a fine, or even a prison sentence, plus his name all over social media" :kitty:^_^
A neighbour had to do this not that long ago, someone had gone down the side of his house and apparently perched on a pipe of convenient height.
Rightly furious, especially as he had heard something outside but hadn't known what it was, now has a suitable blunt instrument handy in case it happens again - presumably on the basis that an angry householder can run faster than some guy with his pants down.
Only a couple of doors down, I offered to help with disposal of the body (OK actually the creation of excuses) if there's a next time, or with the actual chase if I'm about.
[ e2a: regardless of 'reality' of OP, I note no mention of trying to find a grating or gutter ]
Do we have arse recognition technology though?
This. My local Argos shop puts images of these kinds of incidents on social media, with the aim to name and shame the culprits. The OP may go viral soon!
Not so much technology, I think spotting an arse is a fine art.
"That's what they all say, Sir" ;-)
I'm sure the OP does exist.
Your local Argos puts videos of people defecating on their social media :eek:
With a bit of luck, some lorry wheel will squash it before anyone sees it, and nobody will be any the wiser.
The OP still appears to be struggling with his psychological development. ;-)
Well a photo of their face, but for all sorts of antisocial behaviour, not just shitting.
It could do though. You can see a view round the back of my local Argos here
If you zoom in on one of the two argos signs, one of them says "CCTV in operation".
Not exactly the best idea for drumming up business, is it?