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How would you feel if your spouse/partner told you they had been raped?
and obviously they had....it just got me thinking about Linda. Is she afraid to tell Mick because its someone from his family, she doesn't want Mick to be upset or does she think her relationship with Mick won't be the same as he won't love her like he used to....? Just a thought.....not sure how different type of people react with different emotions to something like this....
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I think it is very hard to say for sure but I can say what i've felt when friends have told me they've been attacked: anger, frustration, sorrow, sickness, wanting to do anything to take the pain away.
I guess those feelings would be even worse if it were your spouse.
As a married woman, i think I'd be scared of my husband seeking vengeance if the person was known to us. He's not an overly violent man but in those kind of circumstances I'm not sure what he'd do. Come to that i'd be concerned about my father (who does have a very bad temper though is probably too old to be very effective now) and my brother's reactions as well. It is great to have strong, protective men around that love you but if there is a concern they would take the law into their own hands if somebody violently assaulted you, then for their protection you might keep quiet.
Firstly I'm sorry to hear of your experience but glad there were people (security guards) there to help and stop it from being worse.
I think you've answered your own question - Linda is scared that Mick will 'over react' and attack Dean in vengeance getting himself into trouble with the Police before he has time to calm down. We've already been told that he 'sorted' the photographer that talked her into doing the topless modelling shots - whatever that means.
Plus she is also probably worried about her children's reactions - especially Lee who we have now been told has a history of violent outbursts and is ovely protective of his siblings - can you imagine his reaction to his mother being raped?
I would feel pretty useless and powerless that they were went through such a traumatic ordeal on their own without anybody to help them.
Many insecure men become jealous and controlling. They treat their partners as if they owned them and they have to dance to their tune.
Disgusted
Helpless
Confused
Betrayed
Depressed
Paranoid
Sickened
Probably just a few of the different emotions I expect Mick to go through once it all comes out
Exactly.
I would add to that impotent in the more general rather than sexual usage. Which is why many people try to take power back into their own hands.
True. Mick is someone who takes pride in being a good husband, he will probably feel like he has failed Linda, especially as he was the one who let Dean into their home.
I have to say that it sounds like you are well out of there.
There is a 'possission' element to it though, even in a non controlling or abusive relationship. When you marry you commit to each other in body and soul. You say that this other person owns your body secondly to you - indeed in terms of decisions being made in accident, illness and after death they do 'own' your body. That 'ownership' has been challenged in a vase and fundamental way - somebody else has 'taken' their property without permission and must be punished.
That might sound rather caveman and primal but I do think it is a factor in how men deal with issues like rape to women in their family. I do also think it isn't just husband's but father's (especially fathers), brothers, sons etc.
I'm coming at this from a pov of woman being raped and male reaction. Of course men can be raped as well, and female relatives will also have reactions to somebody (male or female) being raped. I think the main emotions would be the same but they wpuldn't have the alpha male need to feel they MUST do something to set things straight in an equally violent way not only for the victims sake but to prove that they are still a 'dominant' male.
Women will be angry, want justice, vengeance but not try and achieve it personally. Hence wanting to go to the Police.
Thank goodness he is your ex, sounds a controlling idiot.
I think a lot of partners would be horrified but sympathetic and supportive to their partner.
I can understand why she hasn't told Mick, he would really do serious damage to Dean.
I have been wondering what would happen if she keeps the baby, does a DNA test without Mick knowing but seeing that we now believe Mick and Dean are brothers, how would that work. Is it so precise it can distinguish between brothers? Would Linda be fooled into thinking it was Mick's?
This seems the most accurate and appropriate account of what a partner might feel but also how they should react.
Without trying to denigrate a victim's perfectly natural fearful reaction to having to tell people particularly a partner I can't help feeling in this instance anyway Linda is hiding behind her fear of what Mick might do. Mick has come across as the most caring of partners I think we've ever encountered on EE and though I appreciate he no doubt does have the ability to react aggressively wouldn't he control that as his over riding concern would be Linda and what she wants.
I suppose the difficulty lies in the rapist being so close to home but I can't help feeling Linda is more worried about being blamed and is actually hiding behind the idea of protecting Mick. Whatever, I think she's doing him a disservice and causing him even more angst if that's possible by not telling him but of course this isn't exactly realistic.
EE must have it's pound of flesh in postponing the reveal of this to sometime around erm Christmas
Because her sense of safety, identity and trust have beenn violated beyond belief. Her mind and life is in tatters as it is and she knows if she speaks out then it will be ruined even more. Plus, who's to say who'll believe what?
I personally have been in a very similar situation so if there's any other questions on her reaction (I had a similar one, eventually spoke up for the sake of my own sanity) then ask away.
I think you've answered my query perfectly. I am so sorry to hear about your experience.
I'm very sorry to hear of your experience and my best wishes for your and your family's well being.
If it isn't too intrusive, may I ask your views on the Linda rape storyline - ie is it helpfull of offensive to the victims of rape. Because a lot of people that have,'t gone through it (or at least haven't publicly declared they have which is their right( are throwing judgements around that it is boring, insensitive, inaccurate.
I declare roght now that I haven't been raped (though i have been in situations I've found threatening) but I do know many people that have been raped as adults or abused as children and they tend to be positive about it being shown on screen.
Thank you, it wasn't very long ago but I have moved on leaps and bounds in my life since then so I'm doing very well now.
I think Linda's storyline has quite clearly been very well researched. Kellie Bright's acting reminded me a lot of, well, myself and there were times I couldn't actually watch because it was so accurate that it upset me too much. She didn't cry afterwards or for days, neither did I. She just walked around confused and shocked, that's exactly what it's like. You just can't believe that this is your reality, it's almost like the entire world and what you believe about people changes in an instant but you don't want to believe this person has done what they have done to you but it's all you can think about, all day every day. You are quite literally entered into hell and you're alone there.
So in a nutshell, I'm very proud of EastEnders and happy that it has been so well done from what I have seen so far.
I completely understand why Linda is scared to speak up, it absolutely has the potential to tear the family apart.
I'm really sorry to you and any other person that has been through this. Karma always gets revenge.
I know what you mean thats why I'm thinking maybe Linda feels scared how he would react? say he know about the kiss from Nancy (just an example)....I know some men like you said would think well she had something with Dean maybe she's asking for it....maybe she wanted it and would blame the women (even though I know Mick wouldn't do that) but I know some men that do....those that suffer from NPD and are extremely insecure and jealous.
Would it make it hard for you to 'approach' your husband/wife/partner? Would things be the same? or would you be more overprotective of them?
I guess it all depends on how the person is.
Linda has a million reasons right now why she feels telling Mick (or anyone else) about the rape is wrong. There's the fact mentioned by other posters that she and Mick had only been with each other up until this point. There was the forced kiss and grope from Dean that Linda didn't tell anyone about that (in her mind) may have meant she unintentionally led him on. There was Sharon's misunderstanding that led to her warning Linda not to give men false signals. There's the fear that no one will believe her, or that she will be called a liar by family members. She likely has a fear that Dean might turn on her again. And Linda is probably petrified about what her pregnancy might mean - that the baby is Dean's, that Mick might not accept her or the baby, that she might reject the child herself, or that Dean might want to be involved if the baby is his.
I'm glad that the story seems to have picked up a little. Although I found it very believable that Linda would clam up about the rape, it was getting frustrating to watch her suffer. But I can absolutely believe the pain she's going through. I do hope that she will get a lot of support - particularly from Mick - when the story comes out, and that Dean will end up far away from her.