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How can I stop my boyfriend finding farts funny?

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  • gemma-the-huskygemma-the-husky Posts: 18,116
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    #52
    silent, but deadly, is the way.

    I remember when a "raspberry" was the height of comedy.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,888
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    #53
    Dump him, he doesn't sound very mature.
  • 0...00...0 Posts: 21,111
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    #54
    shackfan wrote: »
    Get over it OP. Everyone farts.

    REM? :p
  • Uncle FesterUncle Fester Posts: 15,357
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    #55
    Light a match by his arse just as he starts one , I guarantee he will never fart again :o
  • venusinflaresvenusinflares Posts: 4,194
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    #56
    Every household should have one of these for trump induced mirth......

    http://www.boysstuff.co.uk/naughty/worlds-largest-whoopee-cushion/?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=merchant-feed&utm_campaign=Worlds+Largest+Whoopee+Cushion&gclid=CJGdkeKtur4CFZShtAod5VgAvg

    I bought my nephews one for Christmas, it was hysterical!
  • juliancarswelljuliancarswell Posts: 8,896
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    #57
    What is it that turns women into control freaks?
    When was the last time you heard a man say "I thought I would be able to change her ?" :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,279
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    #58
    juliancarswell wrote: »
    What is it that turns women into control freaks?
    When was the last time you heard a man say "I thought I would be able to change her ?" :)
    That is a very good point. Can you hear the gears grinding? :D
  • pfgpowellpfgpowell Posts: 5,347
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    #59
    Never Nude wrote: »
    My boyfriend is a mammoth trumpeter. A flatulence fanatic if you will. What is worse if that every time he lets out one of his massive f bombs he finds it hilarious. He gets this grin on him as if he has done something brilliant. Like a five year old child. I hate him because of it. I want to sew up him bum and make him stop. Would I get away with murder?

    I need help, I can't stand to be around him any more. :(

    Ditch him, he's a complete prat.
  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    #60
    Your rhetoric seems to point at your own amusement so I'm not entirely sure how serious you are at being p'd off by it.

    laughing about farts is certainly puerile but at the end of the day we all do it to differing degrees.

    i don't make a song and dance about it but i don't hold them in and mt wife gets very annoyed about it. No place or time is right, even in the garden i get told off
  • UKMikeyUKMikey Posts: 28,728
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    #61
    Dedicating this song to the OP and her bloke:

    Steely Dan - Fire In The Hole
  • TheTruth1983TheTruth1983 Posts: 13,462
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    #62
    droogiefret wrote: »
    I doubt that sewing up his bum will make him stop. It might lead to a change in tone.

    Coffee everywhere :D
  • UffaUffa Posts: 1,910
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    #63
    Pull2Open wrote: »
    Your rhetoric seems to point at your own amusement so I'm not entirely sure how serious you are at being p'd off by it.

    laughing about farts is certainly puerile but at the end of the day we all do it to differing degrees.

    i don't make a song and dance about it but i don't hold them in and mt wife gets very annoyed about it. No place or time is right, even in the garden i get told off

    Pretty convinced it was just a p take by NN out of Vosne. :D
  • vosnevosne Posts: 14,131
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    #64
    Uffa wrote: »
    Hi NN, nice to see you around again. :) Loving this thread. But seriously you knew he was an a*** before you got with him. Sorry Vosne, love you really. xx

    Kiss my arse \/ *wafts* >:(
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,471
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    #65
    Jefferson wrote: »
    He doesn't seem much of a catch. Bin him and see if something better turns up.

    Done. His stuff is out on the street
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,471
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    #66
    Uffa wrote: »
    Hi NN, nice to see you around again. :) Loving this thread. But seriously you knew he was an a*** before you got with him. Sorry Vosne, love you really. xx

    I did. I thought I could change him but he has got worse :cry:

    Lovely to see you too Uffa!!!!
  • Miss XYZMiss XYZ Posts: 14,023
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    #67
    Stick a cork up his backside. Though I have a sneaking suspicion he'll get a lot of enjoyment out of that. ;-):D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,471
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    #68
    UKMikey wrote: »
    Dedicating this song to the OP and her bloke:

    Steely Dan - Fire In The Hole

    :D:D:D:D
  • Carlos_dfcCarlos_dfc Posts: 8,262
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    #69
    Fight fire with fire....

    Eat a large curry, followed by plenty of garlic bread, then subject him to a Dutch-oven.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,471
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    #70
    Carlos_dfc wrote: »
    Fight fire with fire....

    Eat a large curry, followed by plenty of garlic bread, then subject him to a Dutch-oven.

    Good idea. I think i need to give him a taste of his own medicine
  • AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
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    #71
    So vosne and Never Nude are an 'item'? I never knew that.

    *has a new found respect for Never Nude*

    :D
  • Rab64Rab64 Posts: 1,296
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    #72
    Dump him, and tell him why
  • vosnevosne Posts: 14,131
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    #73
    Addisonian wrote: »
    So vosne and Never Nude are an 'item'? I never knew that.

    *has a new found respect for Never Nude*

    :D

    Pity, the word is pity :(
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,471
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    #74
    Addisonian wrote: »
    So vosne and Never Nude are an 'item'? I never knew that.

    *has a new found respect for Never Nude*

    :D

    By item i mean I keep him out back by the bins :cool:
  • edExedEx Posts: 13,460
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    #75
    paperplanes_ wrote: »
    Dump him, he doesn't sound very mature.
    Of course he isn't mature. He's a man :D

    OP, deal with it. Guys find farts funny.
  • jioscarjioscar Posts: 1,438
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    #76
    Stop doing them lol :p
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