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Should I Advise Other Parents of Free For All Party?
Mrs Mackintosh
Posts: 1,870 Forum Member
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Not sure what to do here. Feel free to tell me what you think.
My 15 year old daughter is invited to a party. The "host" (also 15) has the house to herself for the weekend. Her parents are going away and her 17 year old sister is going out. The party was originally for about 30 people but now the whole year (possibly the whole school) has got wind of it and it's turning into a free for all.
The house is a large detached one in the middle of a secluded wooded area, they keep chickens and my daughter has even heard some people in the school saying things like "If X doesn't let me into the party...I'm going to kill the chickens".
I told my daughter I wasn't comfortable about her attending it and she said she was quite relieved that I'd said that and that she thought it might be best not to.
My dilemma is that some of her friends are still planning on going...do I let their parents know the nature of the party or do I just let what will be will be?
I don't want my daughter being found out as the "whistleblower" but I don't want kids I've seen grow up with her and care about in a situation that could go horribly wrong.
Thoughts?
PS...I'm not a funsponge killjoy, I know 15 year olds are going to drink underage and get off with each other. My concern is their personal safety, nothing else.
My 15 year old daughter is invited to a party. The "host" (also 15) has the house to herself for the weekend. Her parents are going away and her 17 year old sister is going out. The party was originally for about 30 people but now the whole year (possibly the whole school) has got wind of it and it's turning into a free for all.
The house is a large detached one in the middle of a secluded wooded area, they keep chickens and my daughter has even heard some people in the school saying things like "If X doesn't let me into the party...I'm going to kill the chickens".
I told my daughter I wasn't comfortable about her attending it and she said she was quite relieved that I'd said that and that she thought it might be best not to.
My dilemma is that some of her friends are still planning on going...do I let their parents know the nature of the party or do I just let what will be will be?
I don't want my daughter being found out as the "whistleblower" but I don't want kids I've seen grow up with her and care about in a situation that could go horribly wrong.
Thoughts?
PS...I'm not a funsponge killjoy, I know 15 year olds are going to drink underage and get off with each other. My concern is their personal safety, nothing else.
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I would tell the parents of the girl holding the party.
That's kind of what I've been thinking myself but just wanted other views on it. Thanks.
ETA..I don't know the girl's parents. I've only met the girl once and that was about a year ago. She didn't go to my daughter's primary school so my knowledge of them and her is minimal.
I'd tell the parents you do know and ask if any of them know the party girl's parents. Eventually someone is bound to know them. As you know the house you could maybe write to the homeowners? Or go round? I would be thankful if I was pre-warned one of my little darlings was potentially going to have my house trashed for me.
Your daughter sounds very sensible and a credit to you too.
Thanks, I appreciate that. I was considering a note through their door...it's on one of my long dog walking routes.
My daughter loves a laugh with her friends but she likes to know she's safe and I'm lucky enough to have a very healthy dialogue with her.
Oh...I assumed the parents/homeowners didn't know
By doing it this way there is no way your daughter could get found out. If you go round and the girl gets into trouble she may go around saying your daughter ruined the party.
Ah sorry - didn't think of that. If they didn't then I'd definitely tell them as I'm sure I'd want them to do the same in return.
No doubt about it - tell the parents! Anonymous or not.
This sounds the best course of action for me. I pass the house on my dog walks so it wouldn't be difficult and they'd never found out who "told".
The whole school knows and it hasn't got back to the elder sister yet?!
Anyway, yeah, I'd anonymously warn the parents, it WILL end up with the house completely trashed. I remember going to teenager ouse parties in the 80s where the parents allowed the parties and even came back home say at midnight and the house was trashed, well say **** burns in the carpets, a broken door or whatever, but these parents are going to have their house TRASHED.
It's a big school
She's not what I'd call responsible if she's planning on staying out all night when her parents have left her to look after her younger sister.
That said, it won't be her fault the house gets trashed. If I knew what you knew I'd certainly be telling the houseowners. Put yourself in their shoes. Wouldn't you want to know if your fifteen your old had got herself into this sort of situation?
I would'nt want my house ending up been wrecked and my child having sex with 3 different lads etc.
Exactly this^.
That was my first thought too.
Parents leave 17 year old in charge of 15 year old. I doubt the parents know.
Not if she's been persuaded to go out for the night when her parents think she is there to keep an eye on things.
You should tell the parents.