And talking about giving birth - when somebody goes into very quick "soap" labour and a friend/enemy/passerby has to deliver the baby, how come the baby gets wrapped up and cuddled without the "other stuff" being delivered. (Don't want to go into the fine details incase anybody is naive/eating or a bit delicate).
And talking about giving birth - when somebody goes into very quick "soap" labour and a friend/enemy/passerby has to deliver the baby, how come the baby gets wrapped up and cuddled without the "other stuff" being delivered. (Don't want to go into the fine details incase anybody is naive/eating or a bit delicate).
I can't remember the last time a baby was born on time, in a hospital. I also can't remember the last time when a baby was overdue
Character moving off to Australia/America in about a day. Visas are obviously not required.
No one ever ever picking up on an evil expression - several people in The Dog, no one ever notices Sienna's smug look or whatever face she pulls.
No pregnant woman has been in labour for days or is induced for being overdue.
When a character is framed for something or has the whole community turned against them and the truth comes out, said character will immediately forgive everybody and forget anything ever happened.
If a woman cheats or is a mistress, she will become pregnant. And if her partner is the "problem" with her not getting pregnant before, he will not bat an eyelid when she announces her pregnancy to him.
Everyone becomes a parent in their late teens. They really do like to grab life by the horns don't they? Any new thirty something or early forties character will have an oldest child who is all grown up!:D
That pets look after themselves most of the time, and conveniently vanish/run away and are never seen again, mainly because the characters who own them never look for them or seem to care that they've gone. Soapland has no responsible pet owners!
People come and go as they please from their workplace and rarely do a full days work.
Employers are extremely lenient and are always giving people 'the rest of the day off' when they've been there all of 5 minutes or just look a bit sad or distracted. Think this one annoys me because i've never turned up for work and been told i can have a day off for absolutely nothing.
People get up hours before they have to go to work or school.
You never need to buy new furniture, the character that just upped and left the residence before you never took (or came back for) any of their belongings.
If your sent to prison (leave the show) don't expect anyone to ever visit you. You can rot for all they care!
People who listen into conversations and never sticking around for the whole thing, thus, hearing something horrible said about them but never hearing the "but despite everything, I love him/her" or something nice that usually follows.
People who listen into conversations and never sticking around for the whole thing, thus, hearing something horrible said about them but never hearing the "but despite everything, I love him/her" or something nice that usually follows.
...or then leads to an unnecessary crossed wires scenario where a bunch of characters find out someone's pregnant or done something terrible but because they didn't listen to everything they think it's the wrong person.
The most comical cliches are mainly from EE. I call them "in-universe cliches" as they are cliches that only frequent in a specific soap universe, rather than across all soaps.
1) Philth Mitchell must ALWAYS be the Top Dog Hardman and must ALWAYS win (that includes Grant Mitchell). I can imagine Phil still being a 'ardman when he's an 80 year old pensioner with a walking stick and a glass eye. It's become such an EastEnders cliche now.
2) The Mitchells must ALWAYS have the upper hand on people and lord it over everybody. They even try to take the moral high ground with people . (Nowadays, they're not that bad because Peggy and Grant have left).
3) Ian MUST propose to his new girlfriend within a few months of dating her (it will be Denise's turn soon). You expect him to pull out a ring whenever he reaches into his pocket. He really is the Henry VIII of Soaps.
4) Den Watts (now deceased of course) and David Wicks will ALWAYS be charming studs and pull all the hot, young women on the Square despite not being young men anymore. This is similar to 1).
I can't remember the last time a baby was born on time, in a hospital. I also can't remember the last time when a baby was overdue
Last I remember was Liam Connor Jr on Corrie, Maria and Tony went walking on the beach to try and "induce" Maria and it was obviously followed by a speedy birth.
They messed the timing of her pregnancy up though, Liam died in the October whilst little one was born in July... unless she was seriously overdue.
The character who is being talked about is always lurking in the background and usually reveals themself after a "Whatever you do, don't tell XYZ!" line.
People can talk about something secret in the same room as other people and the other people won't hear.
Like someone said, the fact that everyone goes to the pub everyday! But I accept this because obviously you want to see the sets being used. And the fact that people leave their drinks. And the "Pint, please" - I used to ask my mum when I was about 6 how was the barmaid supposed to know what pint they wanted Her answer was that when they were regulars, the barmaid would be used to what they drink.
This is a general film/tv cliche but soaps are as guilty as anyone else: People making vague social arrangements, like
'I'll pick you up tomorrow night...'
or 'Or want to go into town on Saturday?'
Where will we meet? What time are you picking me up? Aaaaagh! These people must spend most of their lives missing each other.
If your sent to prison (leave the show) don't expect anyone to ever visit you. You can rot for all they care!
This one bugs the hell out of me. Along with them never being mentioned ever again. Despite being a loved member of the community, with loads of friends and family.
Oh, and I forgot about that other comical soap cliche that exists in Hollyoaks...
(Apologies if somebody has already mentioned this cliche.)
- Straight guys ALWAYS (and I mean ALWAYS) have to turn gay out of the blue . It seems to happen so often which is what makes it so comical and in such predictable fashion, so much so that it's become a running joke amongst HO viewers . I'm starting to think the Village has been cursed by some supernatural sentient being that whispers homosexual thoughts into straight characters . I can't think of any other explanation.
When someone finds out theyre pregnant, they arent sure if there husband/partner is going to like it so they do a test, keep the results quiet then always 'try' and tell them the news but chicken out at the last minute. THEN the wife/girlfriend or whatever, usually faints or falls somewhere public and then said husband finds out and hes delighted. Dont couples in soaps know one another better.
When someone finds out theyre pregnant, they arent sure if there husband/partner is going to like it so they do a test, keep the results quiet then always 'try' and tell them the news but chicken out at the last minute. THEN the wife/girlfriend or whatever, usually faints or falls somewhere public and then said husband finds out and hes delighted. Dont couples in soaps know one another better.
we never seem to get couples who sit down and have the children conversation or if they do decide they have either known each other not that long or are young and want to show everyone how 'mature' and how 'real' their love is.
Debbie had Jack in hospital last year. I remember thinking my god she's actually having a baby in a hospital :eek:
IIRC he wasn't over due but she was induced because Sarah had gotten worse.
This one bugs the hell out of me. Along with them never being mentioned ever again. Despite being a loved member of the community, with loads of friends and family.
That reminds me of 'missing soap child' syndrome, where a young child is never seen for years (Tracey Barlow) or an adult child goes backpacking/goes to University/gets a job away from home, and is rarely referred to and never seen again, until of course parents of said child are taking a break from the soap and suddenly feel the need to visit Child X.
That reminds me of 'missing soap child' syndrome, where a young child is never seen for years (Tracey Barlow)...
To be fair this only really applies to Tracy Barlow, Glenda! Generally speaking soap kids pop up every few months now and again. It's not as if you can give them storylines.
To be fair this only really applies to Tracy Barlow, Glenda! Generally speaking soap kids pop up every few months now and again. It's not as if you can give them storylines.
Oh, I dunno about -exactly what has Bob done with those twins? But yes, I'll give you that, it does apply more to the grown up children.
That reminds me of 'missing soap child' syndrome, where a young child is never seen for years (Tracey Barlow) or an adult child goes backpacking/goes to University/gets a job away from home, and is rarely referred to and never seen again, until of course parents of said child are taking a break from the soap and suddenly feel the need to visit Child X.
Yes, that happens a lot! They go away & come back w/ a new head.
I used to watch American soaps & AMC even topped your observation; son went upstairs to polish his skis & never, ever came back. Whaaaaa? :D
Yes, that happens a lot! They go away & come back w/ a new head.
I used to watch American soaps & AMC even topped your observation; son went upstairs to polish his skis & never, ever came back. Whaaaaa? :D
:D:DMust have been the fumes from the varnish that got him:D that still doesn't beat Adam Carrington trying to kill his brother by painting the office with lead based paint (small tip Adam, there are much quicker, much more reliable ways, and they don't involve you raising a purchase order for the paint, but while you're at it, why not seal the deal with some cyanide-containing plaster and artex with traces of asbestos:D:D:D Then you'll reallyget him.)
Let's have a little test fellow DS-ers. You have an incriminating piece of paper, which contains information that you need to keep away from your partner, child, friend etc. You decide to dispose of the paper. Do you:
(a) Rip it in to a million tiny pieces so that it's unreadable and throw it in the bin.
(b) Stick it in a shredder
(c) Burn it
(d) Scrunch it in to a ball and throw on to the top of the receptacle where it can be easily accessed, unfolded and read by the person you don't want to see it.
If you answered a, b or c, you are normal, rational-thinking human being. If you answered d, please contact a soap producer.
In a relationship, if one of the partners is up to no good they'll make a speech re-affirming their commitment to their partner, hug, and then the camera with pan to their troubled face over the shoulder of their partner.
And if you 'hate' somebody of the opposite sex, you will inevitably argue, slap them and then sleep with them.
Comments
But too many of them end up in a premature birth.:yawn:
I can't remember the last time a baby was born on time, in a hospital. I also can't remember the last time when a baby was overdue
No one ever ever picking up on an evil expression - several people in The Dog, no one ever notices Sienna's smug look or whatever face she pulls.
No pregnant woman has been in labour for days or is induced for being overdue.
When a character is framed for something or has the whole community turned against them and the truth comes out, said character will immediately forgive everybody and forget anything ever happened.
If a woman cheats or is a mistress, she will become pregnant. And if her partner is the "problem" with her not getting pregnant before, he will not bat an eyelid when she announces her pregnancy to him.
People come and go as they please from their workplace and rarely do a full days work.
Employers are extremely lenient and are always giving people 'the rest of the day off' when they've been there all of 5 minutes or just look a bit sad or distracted. Think this one annoys me because i've never turned up for work and been told i can have a day off for absolutely nothing.
People get up hours before they have to go to work or school.
You never need to buy new furniture, the character that just upped and left the residence before you never took (or came back for) any of their belongings.
If your sent to prison (leave the show) don't expect anyone to ever visit you. You can rot for all they care!
All very annoying!
Employers are willing to let anybody hold the fort should they need to dash off for any reason..
Vehicles magically appear parked outside residences only when they are needed... they never start first time..
...or then leads to an unnecessary crossed wires scenario where a bunch of characters find out someone's pregnant or done something terrible but because they didn't listen to everything they think it's the wrong person.
1) Philth Mitchell must ALWAYS be the Top Dog Hardman and must ALWAYS win (that includes Grant Mitchell). I can imagine Phil still being a 'ardman when he's an 80 year old pensioner with a walking stick and a glass eye. It's become such an EastEnders cliche now.
2) The Mitchells must ALWAYS have the upper hand on people and lord it over everybody. They even try to take the moral high ground with people
3) Ian MUST propose to his new girlfriend within a few months of dating her (it will be Denise's turn soon). You expect him to pull out a ring whenever he reaches into his pocket. He really is the Henry VIII of Soaps.
4) Den Watts (now deceased of course) and David Wicks will ALWAYS be charming studs and pull all the hot, young women on the Square despite not being young men anymore. This is similar to 1).
These are the Four Pillars of EastEnders.
Last I remember was Liam Connor Jr on Corrie, Maria and Tony went walking on the beach to try and "induce" Maria and it was obviously followed by a speedy birth.
They messed the timing of her pregnancy up though, Liam died in the October whilst little one was born in July... unless she was seriously overdue.
People can talk about something secret in the same room as other people and the other people won't hear.
Like someone said, the fact that everyone goes to the pub everyday! But I accept this because obviously you want to see the sets being used. And the fact that people leave their drinks. And the "Pint, please" - I used to ask my mum when I was about 6 how was the barmaid supposed to know what pint they wanted
Brendan in Hollyoaks had a big thing about always touching and eating food, he quite, erm, demolished everything he ate!
'I'll pick you up tomorrow night...'
or 'Or want to go into town on Saturday?'
Where will we meet? What time are you picking me up? Aaaaagh! These people must spend most of their lives missing each other.
Debbie had Jack in hospital last year. I remember thinking my god she's actually having a baby in a hospital :eek:
IIRC he wasn't over due but she was induced because Sarah had gotten worse.
This one bugs the hell out of me. Along with them never being mentioned ever again. Despite being a loved member of the community, with loads of friends and family.
(Apologies if somebody has already mentioned this cliche.)
- Straight guys ALWAYS (and I mean ALWAYS) have to turn gay out of the blue
we never seem to get couples who sit down and have the children conversation or if they do decide they have either known each other not that long or are young and want to show everyone how 'mature' and how 'real' their love is.
That reminds me of 'missing soap child' syndrome, where a young child is never seen for years (Tracey Barlow) or an adult child goes backpacking/goes to University/gets a job away from home, and is rarely referred to and never seen again, until of course parents of said child are taking a break from the soap and suddenly feel the need to visit Child X.
To be fair this only really applies to Tracy Barlow, Glenda!
Oh, I dunno about -exactly what has Bob done with those twins?
Yes, that happens a lot! They go away & come back w/ a new head.
I used to watch American soaps & AMC even topped your observation; son went upstairs to polish his skis & never, ever came back. Whaaaaa?
(a) Rip it in to a million tiny pieces so that it's unreadable and throw it in the bin.
(b) Stick it in a shredder
(c) Burn it
(d) Scrunch it in to a ball and throw on to the top of the receptacle where it can be easily accessed, unfolded and read by the person you don't want to see it.
If you answered a, b or c, you are normal, rational-thinking human being. If you answered d, please contact a soap producer.
And if you 'hate' somebody of the opposite sex, you will inevitably argue, slap them and then sleep with them.