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Why do people say 'I forgive people, but I won't forget'

Gusto BruntGusto Brunt Posts: 12,351
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in General Discussion #1
Surely forgiving IS forgetting.

To say you forgive someone, and then go on to say', but I'll never forget', means you're still harbouring negative thoughts or bitterness.

Wouldn't you agree?

Better say I do forgive you and I will not think about it ever again. If you cannot forget about it completely then you haven't forgiven.

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,910
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    #2
    Because when someone has done something to you that requires forgiveness you DON'T ever forget. I have never forgotten things people have done to me. You can find it in yourself to forgive people but you don't just magically erase it from your memory.

    Although i don't think you necessarily have to say to the person 'i can forgive you but i won't forget' You could keep the fact you won't forget to yourself
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    Gusto BruntGusto Brunt Posts: 12,351
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    #3
    pjw1985 wrote: »
    Because when someone has done something to you that requires forgiveness you DON'T ever forget. I have never forgotten things people have done to me. You can find it in yourself to forgive people but you don't just magically erase it from your memory.

    Although i don't think you necessarily have to say to the person 'i can forgive you but i won't forget' You could keep the fact you won't forget to yourself

    The adding of the 'I won't forget it' doesn't sound like forgiveness to me, that's all. I'm not talking about you, just people in general. :)
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    James FrederickJames Frederick Posts: 53,184
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    #4
    Well I can understand it for example my Granddad was a Japanese POW in WW2 and he said that while he could forgive what they did to him (he was tortured) he could never forget what happened.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,910
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    #5
    Gusto Brunt wrote: »
    The adding of the 'I won't forget it' doesn't sound like forgiveness to me, that's all. I'm not talking about you, just people in general. :)

    Not everyone says 'i won't forget it' when they tell someone they have forgiven them
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    lightdragonlightdragon Posts: 19,059
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    #6
    The "I won't forget" is more of a warning that you'll only forgive it once. Well that's the way I'd use it.
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    coughthecatcoughthecat Posts: 6,876
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    #7
    Gusto Brunt wrote: »
    Surely forgiving IS forgetting.

    To say you forgive someone, and then go on to say', but I'll never forget', means you're still harbouring negative thoughts or bitterness.

    Wouldn't you agree?

    Better say I do forgive you and I will not think about it ever again. If you cannot forget about it completely then you haven't forgiven.

    The implication is that you can forgive someone for a particular action, but if they do it again, you're not simply going to forget that they've already done it once, so you might not forgive them the second time.

    * EDIT * Lightdragon's beaten me to it! :D
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    RadiomaniacRadiomaniac Posts: 43,510
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    #8
    Gusto Brunt wrote: »
    The adding of the 'I won't forget it' doesn't sound like forgiveness to me, that's all. I'm not talking about you, just people in general. :)

    I've always thought the same as you about that.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 32,379
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    #9
    I caught my wife cheating on me many years ago, I was in a bad place. I did forgive them both and I did forget about it after a few years. I'm still friendly with the guy and still with my wife.:)
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    RellyRelly Posts: 3,469
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    #10
    I think of it as "I've forgiven the hurt, but not forgotten that it did hurt", if you know what I mean. It doesn't hurt anymore, but I won't forget that the person caused me to hurt for whatever reason.
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    Steve™Steve™ Posts: 7,286
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    #11
    Gusto Brunt wrote: »
    Surely forgiving IS forgetting.

    To say you forgive someone, and then go on to say', but I'll never forget', means you're still harbouring negative thoughts or bitterness.

    Wouldn't you agree?

    Better say I do forgive you and I will not think about it ever again. If you cannot forget about it completely then you haven't forgiven.

    Because they have an over-inflated view of themselves and their importance.

    The reality is until old age kicks in we forget few events in life, good or bad.
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    tellywatcher73tellywatcher73 Posts: 4,181
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    #12
    I would say its like I'll forgive once but do it again and I won't be so forgiving. You can't just forget stuff anyway so it seems sillier to say you'll forget about something. I don't know, it's too early, I'm confusing myself :(
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    indianwellsindianwells Posts: 12,702
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    #13
    If someone does something really hurtful to you it is possible to forgive, however, I don't think it's possible to simply "forget", we are not wired like that.
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    darkjedimasterdarkjedimaster Posts: 18,621
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    #14
    The way I see it is that your missus forgives you getting plastered the night before & making a fool of yourself. But she won't forget as a few months down the line, it will give her some ammunition against you, by dragging it up next time she is on the blob. :o
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    bluebladeblueblade Posts: 88,859
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    #15
    Gusto Brunt wrote: »
    Surely forgiving IS forgetting.

    To say you forgive someone, and then go on to say', but I'll never forget', means you're still harbouring negative thoughts or bitterness.

    Wouldn't you agree?

    Better say I do forgive you and I will not think about it ever again. If you cannot forget about it completely then you haven't forgiven.

    Because you don't want to keep bitterness in your heart from the past, as it holds you prisoner from the future. At the same time a negative event in your life caused by another individual, will never be forgotten by you. Good or bad events in our lives will always be to the fore in our minds. Not possible to "forget", or erase a memory which has left a strong imprint on the consciousness.

    You will forget what people did, you will forget what they said, but you will never forget how they made you feel.
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    alan29alan29 Posts: 34,645
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    #16
    You can forgive someone for something, but still be on your guard against it happening again.
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    What name??What name?? Posts: 26,623
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    #17
    No. You'd be stupid to let someone for example rip you of in the same way twice. That doesn't mean you can't maintain a friendship with them and forgive them. It just means you won't trust them with your car, or a loan or with a secret - depending on which area they can't be trusted with
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    HogzillaHogzilla Posts: 24,116
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    #18
    To sound manly/significant, I'd imagine.
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    DaisyBumblerootDaisyBumbleroot Posts: 24,763
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    #19
    I see it more as "I will forgive, but I cant forget"

    as in, you cant make yourself forget things
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