Driving back from skiing, French Alps, the motorways are crammed with Belgians. Belgians have only 2 motorway speeds, 50mph, nd 120mph. That makes normal progress quite tricky on 2 lane motorways. We were just south of Rheims, 7pm, driven all day, and OH had had enough. The road had just us and about 100 Belgians visible. She said, whimsically, 'where do they all come from?' My son, aged 8, in the back, said, in a very wallace and gromit type voice, 'well, Belgium, probably'. My wife has never lived it down, though the lad is now 19.
Driving back from skiing, French Alps, the motorways are crammed with Belgians. Belgians have only 2 motorway speeds, 50mph, nd 120mph. That makes normal progress quite tricky on 2 lane motorways. We were just south of Rheims, 7pm, driven all day, and OH had had enough. The road had just us and about 100 Belgians visible. She said, whimsically, 'where do they all come from?' My son, aged 8, in the back, said, in a very wallace and gromit type voice, 'well, Belgium, probably'. My wife has never lived it down, though the lad is now 19.
Ha ha.
Those things can haunt you for years. Every time you try to be clever it's thrown in your face.
"Look daddy is on fire!" said my neice recently when my brother lit his cigarette. We all laughed - except my brother that is. He believes that his 22 year old daughter's juvenile behaviour is a cause for some concern.
Same as on the dumbest things to say thread. My niece was on the phone to my mum, and my mum was telling her that she was coming to see her soon. My niece replied " Are you coming on your broomstick?"
My son once decided to argue with me in a busy train station about whether c*nt was a word or not. This was after correcting his speech. There were many sniggers. I just wanted to die.
My niece was staying with us for a week when my sister had exams. She was around 2 my son around 7. She'd come with this soft toy monkey and my son sort of coveted it for days. I was just entering the room one day when I heard him say " Ruby - monkey has just told me that you are too young for him and he would rather be with me"
I was at a friends wedding and a young girl I didn't know piped up right in the middle of the church service and said " Mummy, it smells like granddads socks in here"
I once asked my great grandmother if she could iron her wrinkles.
When I was a young kid I was going to the shop with my mum and grandma when I fell down. We carried on walking a bit and they asked me where I had hurt. I replied "Over there" and pointed to the place where I fell.
My son told a checkout operator that I wear my knickers up my bum and don't have a lot of hair down there ...... I wanted to die.
Haha similar to what my kid hollered once to me in Primark, he held up a thong and yelled "you hate these knickers don't you mam cos they go right up your crack". Cheers son..
He came out with a corker of a spoonerism in a cinema "mam are you gonna buy us some cockporn?".
Plonking himself down on the backseat of a bus next to a really fat man, he whispered loud enough for all the bus to hear "mam he's eaten all his chips hasn't he".
Husband was trying to convine our 6 yr old to watch re-runs of The A Team, hubby asked why he didn't want to watch, to which our son replied "because it's rubbish and from the 80's"
Before me and the missus got together, her son (about 4 at the time) walked in on her in the bathroom, climbing out of the bath. He pointed at her undercarriage and said "Is that going to bite me?" "No," she said. He said "It's got a mouth!". My missus answered "and it's got a beard, but it's not Rolf Harris!".
My daughter was invited to her best-friends birthday party. They were about 5 years at the time. Her friend had her party at McDonalds. When the assistant asked what they wanted to drink, my daughter said, straight away 'Champagne please' (this is what she called lemonade) The whole place just looked at her and laughed. The friends mum said it was the funniest thing she heard in ages.
She even did the same thing, when she was younger. We were shopping at Sainsburys and it was quite empty. Then all of a sudden she shouted 'Hey mum, you forgot the Champagne (meaning lemonade). The looks I got from the workers was funny.
I long stopped buying lemonade and drink tea instead
When I was 6 I asked a staff member in Tesco "what do you get when you cross a mummy pig and a daddy pig?" The guy wasn't uch older than about 17 or 18 and he turned pink when I asked him! I cringe now when I think back
Going through Christmas decorations one year, two decorations had the word 'Noel' and the other had the word 'Joy' on them. Pretty standard Christmassy stuff. The 7 year old was looking at them intently. I could see him mouthing the words Noel & Joy to himself, before he animatedly enquired who is this Noel and Joy and why have we got their decorations.
When my cousin Stephen was 2, his mother had just given birth to her second baby at home and the midwife was there. Stephen was moaning that he was hungry and wanted his dinner. The midwife said to him "What time do you have your dinner normally? to which he replied "My name's not normally, it's Stephen.
When I was pregnant with my son, I had all kinds of problems, but I didn't realise that my son had heard me talk about it. When he was six he had to go into hospital and the doctor was asking me questions. When he said, "Was it a normal pregnancy", my six year old, piped up, "No, it wasn't, you name it and she had it". I don't know who was most shocked, me or the doctor. :eek:
Another time, I had taken my son, then aged five to the doctor and the doctor handed the presciption to him. As we were walking out of the room, son said in a very loud voice "Why has the doctor scribbled over this?" tying to be diplomatic, I replied "That's not scribble, that's the doctor's writting" to which the little dear replied in an even louder voice, "Well, it looks like scribble to me, it isn't neat". I husstled him out of the room and refained from saying that it looked like scribble to me too. :rolleyes:
Having been persuaded by my daughter, ( aged 5-6 ), to buy her a toy because she had been sooooo good.
Believing it was the name of the toy, ( because the little one had told me so,---so I thought ), I marched up to the shop owner and asked if she had a "Smelly Nelly",
"Nelly is my name" was the reply.
My 2 year old DD in a trolley in tesco asking the man in the queue in front of us 'do you have a willy like my daddy?' Cue me dying with embarrasement. I was like a beetroot!
... to which he of course should have replied: "... yes, only bigger."
Comments
Ha ha.
Those things can haunt you for years. Every time you try to be clever it's thrown in your face.
My son once decided to argue with me in a busy train station about whether c*nt was a word or not. This was after correcting his speech. There were many sniggers. I just wanted to die.
My niece was staying with us for a week when my sister had exams. She was around 2 my son around 7. She'd come with this soft toy monkey and my son sort of coveted it for days. I was just entering the room one day when I heard him say " Ruby - monkey has just told me that you are too young for him and he would rather be with me"
I was at a friends wedding and a young girl I didn't know piped up right in the middle of the church service and said " Mummy, it smells like granddads socks in here"
I once asked my great grandmother if she could iron her wrinkles.
All was fine until we got to the letter "W" (prounounced double you)
To which she replied "double me"
No matter how many times we tried to correct her W became double me
Haha similar to what my kid hollered once to me in Primark, he held up a thong and yelled "you hate these knickers don't you mam cos they go right up your crack". Cheers son..
He came out with a corker of a spoonerism in a cinema "mam are you gonna buy us some cockporn?".
Plonking himself down on the backseat of a bus next to a really fat man, he whispered loud enough for all the bus to hear "mam he's eaten all his chips hasn't he".
Not wanting to arouse fear of bees, she replied calmly "What's it doing?"
"Just beeing." (We could never make out whether he meant being or bee-ing.)
i didn't even know he knew what the 80's were
Lewis stopped mid-sentence, rolled his eyes, threw his arms up in the air, and shouted 'Why don't you just cancel my WHOLE LIFE?!?'
She even did the same thing, when she was younger. We were shopping at Sainsburys and it was quite empty. Then all of a sudden she shouted 'Hey mum, you forgot the Champagne (meaning lemonade). The looks I got from the workers was funny.
I long stopped buying lemonade and drink tea instead
My daughter going past a church asked her nana "Are you a Prostitute?"
She meant Protestant
LOL they are starting to get that teenage stroppy attitude younger and younger these days
'Mummy, who's put these stripes in my jam?'
When I was pregnant with my son, I had all kinds of problems, but I didn't realise that my son had heard me talk about it. When he was six he had to go into hospital and the doctor was asking me questions. When he said, "Was it a normal pregnancy", my six year old, piped up, "No, it wasn't, you name it and she had it". I don't know who was most shocked, me or the doctor. :eek:
Another time, I had taken my son, then aged five to the doctor and the doctor handed the presciption to him. As we were walking out of the room, son said in a very loud voice "Why has the doctor scribbled over this?" tying to be diplomatic, I replied "That's not scribble, that's the doctor's writting" to which the little dear replied in an even louder voice, "Well, it looks like scribble to me, it isn't neat". I husstled him out of the room and refained from saying that it looked like scribble to me too. :rolleyes:
Having been persuaded by my daughter, ( aged 5-6 ), to buy her a toy because she had been sooooo good.
Believing it was the name of the toy, ( because the little one had told me so,---so I thought ), I marched up to the shop owner and asked if she had a "Smelly Nelly",
"Nelly is my name" was the reply.
I could listen all day to the pearls of wisdom from toddlers. The things they say are so funny:D
Me as well. I almost spat my drink out:D:D
I loved this one.
The midwife said to him "What time do you have your dinner normally? to which he replied "My name's not normally, it's Stephen