Sorry to bore you... I am not generalising there, I am stating a fact and I have met a dozen social workers. Perhaps they are not like 'general' social workers? Perhaps I was unlucky.
So they bloody should be, that's what they're there for. Or would you prefer it if we just gave children out to all and sundry without bothering to make sure they're absolutely suitable to be given a child?
Of course I understand that they need to be vigilant! What an absurd thing to say! But I know 10 couples who wanted to adopt, and 8/10 of the couples gave up because of the process, the social workers and their attitudes. I certainly wouldn't prefer it 'if we just gave children out to all and sundry' (really?), but haven't you seen in the news about the lack of adoptive parents? These 8 couples were all dedicated, lovely people (a children's nurse and a teacher among them) and would have made great parents. Adoption agencies had approved them, but because of social workers' attitudes – after three years of trying to adopt they gave up.
Yes, these children are vulnerable, we all know that! That is why the process takes so long and why prospective adopters put themselves through so much – if only birth parents could go through half the training!
The original question was 'Are social workers like this in real life?' and my answer was 'Yes'.
Sorry to bore you... I am not generalising there, I am stating a fact and I have met a dozen social workers. Perhaps they are not like 'general' social workers? Perhaps I was unlucky.
Of course I understand that they need to be vigilant! What an absurd thing to say! But I know 10 couples who wanted to adopt, and 8/10 of the couples gave up because of the process, the social workers and their attitudes. I certainly wouldn't prefer it 'if we just gave children out to all and sundry' (really?), but haven't you seen in the news about the lack of adoptive parents? These 8 couples were all dedicated, lovely people (a children's nurse and a teacher among them) and would have made great parents. Adoption agencies had approved them, but because of social workers' attitudes – after three years of trying to adopt they gave up.
Yes, these children are vulnerable, we all know that! That is why the process takes so long and why prospective adopters put themselves through so much – if only birth parents could go through half the training!
The original question was 'Are social workers like this in real life?' and my answer was 'Yes'.
With all due respect; that's their problem for giving up. They would have gotten a child eventually so they should have stuck to their convictions and been secure enough in their own suitability to realise that they would succeed eventually.
I would rather have ten prospective adoptive parents give up because of a social worker's stringent screening process than let a completely unsuitable parent slip through the net and be given access to a child they have no place looking after because the social workers decided to relax their standards.
With all due respect; that's their problem for giving up. They would have gotten a child eventually so they should have stuck to their convictions and been secure enough in their own suitability to realise that they would succeed eventually.
I would rather have ten prospective adoptive parents give up because of a social worker's stringent screening process than let a completely unsuitable parent slip through the net and be given access to a child they have no place looking after because the social workers decided to relax their standards.
If you had read my post, you would have seen that they HAD already been approved, but after two or three years of waiting to be matched to a child, they couldn't put themselves through the heartache. Some (at least two of the couples) had been matched, only to be told at the 11th hour that a legal loophole meant the child couldn't be placed. One couple were told that they didn't look suitable to parent two small children because in their photograph they didn't look as though they'd enjoy bouncing on a trampoline!
These were just people in my local area, it must go on all around the country so we're not talking about just ten couples!
But, I bow to your expert knowledge – you obviously know so much more than me about this.
from what I've read on here, Phil Mitchell may end up taking Lolas baby, claiming he is the paternal grandfather. Clearly whoever wrote Eastenders thinks social workers wonder in, take a baby from a struggling young mum who has messed up a couple of times and will then place the baby with a thug who has countless criminal convictions, whose brother is on the run for robbery, sister is on the run for murder, cousin went down for abduction and son is doing life for murder.
In reality the last thing a social worker wants to do is remove a baby from its mother as the baby will end up in the system being passed around whilst custody or adoption proceedings take years. In Lola's case, real social workers would refer her to parenting classes, counselors and support groups, make daily visits and ultimately only remove the baby if there is an immediate danger, or on the say so of a judge.
Social Services didn't get the nick-name Social Snoopers for nothing.
I trained as a social worker and was so appalled at the methods and heartless jobsworths (the majority) in the profession I never took it up and refused to do it.
If you had read my post, you would have seen that they HAD already been approved, but after two or three years of waiting to be matched to a child, they couldn't put themselves through the heartache. Some (at least two of the couples) had been matched, only to be told at the 11th hour that a legal loophole meant the child couldn't be placed. One couple were told that they didn't look suitable to parent two small children because in their photograph they didn't look as though they'd enjoy bouncing on a trampoline!
I did read your post. You said that "because of social workers' attitudes – after three years of trying to adopt they gave up." Please explain to me how my assertion that; had they not given up, they would have got a child eventually; contradicts anything you have said?
These were just people in my local area, it must go on all around the country so we're not talking about just ten couples!
But, I bow to your expert knowledge – you obviously know so much more than me about this.
Sorry, I was under the impression that I was having a respectful and rational discussion about an issue with somebody. Since you have clearly chosen to go on the defensive and be condescending for no apparent reason, it is evident I was wrong.
i had a social worker when i had my first baby it was horrible they are so nosey wanted to make sure i was doing everything right which i new i was they even forced me to go to a mums and toddlers group with a new born baby it was rather pathetic to be honest they saw me every week and i wasnt on any high risk or anything it was simply because my ex partners mother was an alcoholic yea thats right i was made to suffer because of her....
so yes they can be horrible but with whats happening with Lola it does seem was too OTT if you ask me visits every day? sometimes twice im suprised this story line hasnt had a lot of complaints
Comments
Sorry to bore you... I am not generalising there, I am stating a fact and I have met a dozen social workers. Perhaps they are not like 'general' social workers? Perhaps I was unlucky.
Of course I understand that they need to be vigilant! What an absurd thing to say! But I know 10 couples who wanted to adopt, and 8/10 of the couples gave up because of the process, the social workers and their attitudes. I certainly wouldn't prefer it 'if we just gave children out to all and sundry' (really?), but haven't you seen in the news about the lack of adoptive parents? These 8 couples were all dedicated, lovely people (a children's nurse and a teacher among them) and would have made great parents. Adoption agencies had approved them, but because of social workers' attitudes – after three years of trying to adopt they gave up.
Yes, these children are vulnerable, we all know that! That is why the process takes so long and why prospective adopters put themselves through so much – if only birth parents could go through half the training!
The original question was 'Are social workers like this in real life?' and my answer was 'Yes'.
With all due respect; that's their problem for giving up. They would have gotten a child eventually so they should have stuck to their convictions and been secure enough in their own suitability to realise that they would succeed eventually.
I would rather have ten prospective adoptive parents give up because of a social worker's stringent screening process than let a completely unsuitable parent slip through the net and be given access to a child they have no place looking after because the social workers decided to relax their standards.
If you had read my post, you would have seen that they HAD already been approved, but after two or three years of waiting to be matched to a child, they couldn't put themselves through the heartache. Some (at least two of the couples) had been matched, only to be told at the 11th hour that a legal loophole meant the child couldn't be placed. One couple were told that they didn't look suitable to parent two small children because in their photograph they didn't look as though they'd enjoy bouncing on a trampoline!
These were just people in my local area, it must go on all around the country so we're not talking about just ten couples!
But, I bow to your expert knowledge – you obviously know so much more than me about this.
In reality the last thing a social worker wants to do is remove a baby from its mother as the baby will end up in the system being passed around whilst custody or adoption proceedings take years. In Lola's case, real social workers would refer her to parenting classes, counselors and support groups, make daily visits and ultimately only remove the baby if there is an immediate danger, or on the say so of a judge.
I trained as a social worker and was so appalled at the methods and heartless jobsworths (the majority) in the profession I never took it up and refused to do it.
I did read your post. You said that "because of social workers' attitudes – after three years of trying to adopt they gave up." Please explain to me how my assertion that; had they not given up, they would have got a child eventually; contradicts anything you have said?
Sorry, I was under the impression that I was having a respectful and rational discussion about an issue with somebody. Since you have clearly chosen to go on the defensive and be condescending for no apparent reason, it is evident I was wrong.
so yes they can be horrible but with whats happening with Lola it does seem was too OTT if you ask me visits every day? sometimes twice im suprised this story line hasnt had a lot of complaints