Things that NEVER happen in porn
BumbleSquat
Posts: 7,176 Forum Member
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That pizza guy is never sacked for taking so long to drop off a delivery at Candi's house.
Someone acknowledges why that schoolgirl has big fake breasts and looks as if she has severe sun-damaged skin.
Somebody is arrested for sleeping with the babysitter.
A woman (or man) never just thinks of prodding their sleeping partner to wake them up. Waking them up with oral sex is the only option.
''You did anal last night. You better wash that before you put it anywhere near my mouth!''
A backrub is just a backrub.
''This position isn't working for me. I see what you're getting at and I admire your stamina for it but all I can think about is how uncomfortable lying across this desk is.''
Someone acknowledges why that schoolgirl has big fake breasts and looks as if she has severe sun-damaged skin.
Somebody is arrested for sleeping with the babysitter.
A woman (or man) never just thinks of prodding their sleeping partner to wake them up. Waking them up with oral sex is the only option.
''You did anal last night. You better wash that before you put it anywhere near my mouth!''
A backrub is just a backrub.
''This position isn't working for me. I see what you're getting at and I admire your stamina for it but all I can think about is how uncomfortable lying across this desk is.''
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Comments
I love the sex scene in the first episode of Trapped In The Closet for that very reason.
I think there should be a moral at the end of porn films. Like there used to be on He-Man.
Brilliant! I'd forgotten about the moral at the end of He-Man until I read this!
Bravestarr used to have a moral, too.
More TV shows should have a moral at the end, I agree.
If you work in an office - have you ever seriously imagined sex with the person fixing the photocopier or , at home, the tumble dryer?
God bless fantasy - it raises mundane sex into an experience and neither gender should be anything but grateful.
On the rare occasion they do, the neighbours are never lured into joining in.
"Quincey, M.E" always had a moral, as did "Boy Meet World"
"ewww, stop touching me tits".
"that moustache just doesn't do it for me".
Do many do that anyway?