Son with Asperger's not coping at school
fluffybunyip
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I'm getting a bit worried about my 9 yo son, who as I said has Asperger's. He's actually making up symptoms (and then developing them!) so as not to go to school, because he's so unhappy there. We've also had tears on more than one occasion.
It seems the problem is largely social with him, and although the other children do tease him a bit it's not to the level of bullying. We've been into the school several times to try to resolve it but the teachers don't see that the teasing is a problem and say that nothing's going on, no matter what we say.
Because of his unhappiness, he's stopped achieving in several subjects and always "loses" his homework so he doesn't have to do it. We've tried to do everything we can think of to help him to catch up but it's like he's put up a mental block, he just can't take it in.
We're really starting to wonder now if he can cope with mainstream school any longer, and don't know what our options are if that's the case. Is there anyone else in the same situation that can offer some advice?
TIA
It seems the problem is largely social with him, and although the other children do tease him a bit it's not to the level of bullying. We've been into the school several times to try to resolve it but the teachers don't see that the teasing is a problem and say that nothing's going on, no matter what we say.
Because of his unhappiness, he's stopped achieving in several subjects and always "loses" his homework so he doesn't have to do it. We've tried to do everything we can think of to help him to catch up but it's like he's put up a mental block, he just can't take it in.
We're really starting to wonder now if he can cope with mainstream school any longer, and don't know what our options are if that's the case. Is there anyone else in the same situation that can offer some advice?
TIA
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I have experience from a school perspective and working with children with Aspergers in Secondary - PM me if you would like and I'll do my best to help
The children that were teasing/bullying have been spoken to individually about the effect this teasing has and to basically stop it. The Outreach Team have also started group work with all the children in his class to teach them about children that are different and accepting their differences and why they shouldn't tease them etc. They have also set up little social groups with my son to teach him how to deal with situations like that that may arise. It's been very helpful and it's made a big difference. The SENCOs attitude towards my son, his condition and the problems has improved and the intolerant teacher is going to be retrained.
Things have improved for him thankfully and it really all was down to the Autism Outreach Team becoming involved. Are they not involved in supporting your son fluffybunyip? I'm sure they are UK wide, so if they aren't involved they should be. They really can help, so all you need to do is give them a call or ask the SENCO to bring them in and they will hopefully come into the school to start helping him and helping the teachers or even insisting they are retrained.
My son is almost 9yrs and it has been quite frankly the battle of my life, making sure his days are happy ones and will continue to be, the last school he was at, his form teacher was the SENCO and still they said he was just lazy, the new school is somewhat better but only if i keep on top of situations.
A few weeks ago we had a real downer at school, feeling lonely etc, it's heartbreaking, then i found out all the kids are collecting Crazy Bones and as he wasn't interested he was not being included, so typical Mum i went out and just happened to start collecting them myself (she says!!!)within a few hours he was totally hooked, in with the 'gang' and he is happy, so all I can help you with is that sometimes it helps if you can explain 'if you can't beat them join them '.... etc
Also i stopped him attending all team sports as it was a nightmare for everyone BUt encouraged individual sports - made a huge difference, I hope this helps, we all do understand, as most of are all in the same situation.
Thanks again
http://www.autism-outreach.org.uk/
http://home-ed.info/
http://www.home-education.org.uk/
The process was simple, I had a lot of support and she was much happier.She also joined activities for a social life. She grew in confidence based on the one to one aspect and she then felt ready to enrol in secondary school when it was time.
I was worried she might have got behind but she was in all the top groups, got good GCSE's and is now at college.
I realise this may not be possible for a lot of people, but it can work really well if you have this option.
Thanks for the website
I'm seriously considering this as an option if things get much worse, but I'm hoping to keep him in mainstream so hopefully his social skills will develop a little bit more. Plus I have a pre-schooler at home that my son loves to play with so that could be a potential problem!
Thanks for the links, I'll have a good look at them, certainly another avenue to explore.
Has he been assessed or statemented (if not you could ask your local authority for an assessment - but be prepard they may say no and you will have to think about whether or not to appeal)?
Has he been to CAMHS (if not ask GP for a referral)?
Can you think of anything the school could do that would make things better (these may count as reasonable adjustments under the disability discrimination act)?
Have you taken him to an aspergers special school for a look round (it may be worth seeing if he fits in any better there)?
Try the helpline here for advice.
Hi, sorry if I get things a bit wrong here - there seems to be lots of acronyms that I don't understand just yet!
My son was assessed last year by CAMHS - they did a three-part assessment, the first being a cognitive assessment in school, the second was an interview with my husband and I and the third was an interview where a lady sat with my son for a couple of hours and gave him various social tests to measure his response.
Once they'd done this, they correlated the results and let us know that it was a formal diagnosis of Asperger's.
Can you tell me what an EP is?
I feel that if he had some one-on-one support at school in his lessons, then that would help. And ideally some sort of plan in the playground - his form teacher last year organised a "buddy system" unbeknown to my son which consisted of a group of children who would approach him if he was on his own in the playground.
I didn't know there were schools specifically for Asperger's, I'll go and google that now.
Oh god, I could cry.
Yes, hopefully now you can get the help now you know what your son is entitled to and if you have any strength left afterwards, take the school and LEA to task over their negligence and incompetence.
By the way, the LEA will try to get away with minimum funding for hours of additional help for your son - you'll have to fight them, or get the school to fight them for more. They usually try to get away with an hour a day or something equally as pathetic.
My son gets near enough full time help, it's unusual but his difficulties were severe at first as he couldn't talk and he couldn't understand verbal language and I fought like hell and so did the old head and I basically said if he wasn't assisted full time he wasn't going. The LEA provides individual funding for 25 hours and the school make up the rest out of the the special needs budget, but to be honest there's a least 5 hours a week when he doesn't need someone right next to him. During lunch hours he does have a designated dinner lady to keep an eye on him from a distance and to ensure he has his lunch. Even though he can talk quite well now, he still struggles with understanding verbal language and anything more than a simple sentence and he's lost, pretty much most instructions, concepts or lessons need to be backed up visually or explained to him individually in simple terms and in language he will understand, so the full time help is still in place and will remain in place.
Let us know how you get on and if you want any advice just holler. There are quite a few of us parents with kids with special needs on here and we know the ropes, well most of them.
Not all kids with Aspergers need this much help.
Maybe not, but they usually need some additional support at least. It's up to Autism Outreach (the specialists), together with the teachers to judge what help the kids do need. If not much help is required then they will not need to implement much of anything but the support and assessments will be ongoing to ensure the child is still managing to cope.
An EP is an educational psychologist.
Your son should be able to be assessed by the local authority educational psychologist (who will make recommendations to staff for how to help him in the school setting - and not just the classroom as I'm sure you'll know that unstructured times are often the worst for children with aspergers) and have some one to one support at school if he is on the special educational needs (SEN) register at the right level.
There are 3 levels of support:
1. school action - this is just where the school does something that is additional to or different from what they do for other children (eg setting different homework)
2. school action plus - this is where the school will involve an outside agency such as the educational psychologist. In my area of the country it's possible to get up to about 15 hours of in class support on SA+ but there is no set figure and the amount varies from school to school and authority to authority.
3. statement - this is for children whose needs cannot be met at school action plus. If someone needed full time one to one support or a special school they would need a statement.
There aren't loads of schools for children with aspergers, but there are a few. I have placed children here in the past. I'm not suggesting it is right for your son - but it's a small world and they may be able to help you as a starting point when looking at what sort of provision is potentially available. Unfortunately my experience (as a professional rather than a parent) is that children with aspergers are often poorly catered for because they don't fit neatly into mainstream or special environments. You may find that mainstream is right, or mainstream that has an ASD/aspergers 'unit'. (Unit often means that the school caters for the needs rather than that the children are taught away from everyone else these days so it can be the best of both worlds.)
I would suggest that the first thing you could do is ask if your son is at school action plus - and if he isn't write down the support you think he needs (ideally base it on professional evidence) and then ask the school to put him at SA+.
You can find out info on how the system works from the SEN Code of Practice. You can get a hard copy of it for free - call the number on the back (last) page.
I've simplified a bit here so my post isn't too long. The system itself can be difficult and stressful - but if you speak to someone like IPSEA they may be able to suggest the best steps to take so you don't exert extra energy and stress doing something that won't get you want you want or what your son needs. The NAS can also offer advice.
There's also Parent Partnership who are there specifically to provide support and advice specifically for the parents of children with special needs. I rang them during our recent difficulties and they gave me legal advice on our rights and offered to attend meetings with the school to support me.
ARRRRGGGGHHHH things like this drive me mad! Parents rights under the Education Act 1996 have not changed and any authority that says it does not do statements is breaking the law!!!!!!!! Sorry Rugby Rose I'm not having a go at you - I expect you've just suffered at the receiving end of an authority misleading you. This is a niche area of law and LAs get away with spouting rubbish because so few people know the law well enough to challenge them.
If you have evidence of an authority saying they will not do statements (some authorites produce leaflets saying things like 'statements will no longer be necessary') then please send them to the DCSF so they can be investigated - and the authority will be told to withdraw the material.
The law is the same as it always has been - if a child's needs indicated that they need a statutory assessment then they should be assessed (and parents can appeal to the Tribunal if the LA refuses). If a child's statutory assessment indicates that the child needs a statement then the same applies. The only way to get into a special school is with a statement and (allowing for appeals to Tribunal) it takes at least a year from requesting a stat asst to getting placement in a special school so parents really should not be put off applying as soon as they think it is necessary.
One other point while I'm on my high horse - you do not need to pay out for expensive legal advice to go to the Tribunal. The Tribunal is an expert panel so they will help you to tell them what they need to know - it's set up for parents to represent themselves and most parents can and do. Plus there are a number of charities that will help you to prepare and to challenge the LA at an earlier stage - contact the relevant charity for your child's needs and see if they can assist.
Oh and parent partnership work for the LA. They can only help you so far. And some do more harm than good (by perpetuating myths such as 'you won't get a statement').
Edit: that looks a bit one sided against LAs so I will add that there are some parents who won't listen even when all the evidence is telling them their child's needs are being met by the LA provision. I lost three appeals last year and in two of them I knew parents didn't have a chance.
http://www.staffordshire.gov.uk/education/welfareservice/SpecialEducationalNeeds/
I'm glad your situation is sorted but you were not given the correct information. For anyone else - if you have evidence that your child needs a statement, do not listen to any LA that tells you they don't do statements anymore.
Here is the 2008 updated guidance for parents from the DCSF. The info on statements starts at pg 25.
Edit: the last para of the link you provide refers to statements. Most authorities will not give full time on to one support at SA+ (which must be what your son is on) so the only route to that level of support is a statement. If the authority is willing to give everything that is required at SA+ then it is correct that a statement will not be required - and that would be the ideal solution. (But a statement will still be required if you want a special school.) In some areas of the country you'd be lucky to get more than about 10 hours of support at SA+ so a statement is the only solution.
My son was assessed, they agreed he had AS, they gave some tips to his school and that's it. He hasn't needed any extra help, support or had/needed any ongoing assessments. I suppose there's high functioning and then there's high functioning *shrug*
They tried a buddy thing at my son's school but it was pointless...the thing was he wanted to be on his own and didn't want to play with the others most of the time. My son is bullied unmercifully at his school and we're currently writing to the governerors which is the next "official" step in the long chain of bugger all that will be done :rolleyes:
The only problems we have with his behaviour are tantrums when he's frustrated or thwarted (mainly not getting his own way) and his day-dreaming and the bullying (which is getting out of control) and makes him thoroughly miserable (I've noticed he's started fabricating illness so as not to go but he's blatantly lying). It doesn't help he's streets ahead academically of his classmates and the youngest in his class so there's some jealously there too.
High functioning just means that they have an ASD but an average IQ. (Whereas most children with ASD will have a lower than average IQ).