Actually, he quite often reminds me of Partridge or other Brass Eye-type characters. This morning he asked a woman "Do you love this man? How much do you love him?" What kind of a question is that? It reminded me of Chris Morris's exchanges with the reporter Colin O'Hanrahanrahan. "Umm...do you love him as much as a seagull? A pie? A lemon?" Mad.
Arf! I can easily imagine him recoiling in disgust on discovering that a guest had Bad AIDS...
I hate the way he always says for example "Will you accept our help & turn your life around?" HONEST?....He always says HONEST, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! :mad:
it saddens me that he hasn't mentioned that his brother was a heroin addict much recently, though
...Ah, but as he never fails to solemnly remind us, "most people know" this fact now. Along with the fact that his sister-in-law was a four-stone anorexic and he himself once ran through the streets of London looking for his girlfriend's car, and consequently has developed a massively sympathetic and deeply understanding attitude towards stalkers everywhere. We know this because whenever the show features some creepy ex boyfriend who refuses to let his ex get away and move on with her life, Jeremy always embraces the guy in question as some sort of hero, keeps repeating "You're the nicest bloke in the world aren't you!" and gives the poor girl on the receiving end of these unwanted attentions hell for "toying with his feelings when he's clearly lovesick!" Brrrr! Creepy or what?
1) His random offers of help to wayward teenagers: 'I tell you what, if you go three months without stabbing your Mum with a biro, I'll take you to Old Trafford!'
'I'm quite a big name in Birmingham, if you don't smoke crack at your Nans house, I'll let you DJ at a top club in Birmingham, can't say fairer than that, Ladies and Gentlemen, True or False?'
I can just imagine the club owner saying "Jeremy Kyle? THE Jeremy Kyle? Yeah, get that Scally kid on the decks, tell Pete Tong to go home!"
2) 'Yes or No?' 'True or False?' 'One thing we try to do on this show is be honest' after a comment where one of those phrases would never fit. eg; 'You kick the drugs habit and get out there and look for work, True or false?' eh?
"One thing we try to do on this show is be honest, so this is Joanne on the show" what? That implies that other hosts would've called her by a different name to be deceptive lol
3) Try to be chummy with the young offenders... I mean misunderstood kids on his show, attempts humour then looks at the audience, as if he is the reincarnation of Tommy Cooper, Ronnie Barker and Bob Monkhouse, to no response.
"I sat on this step, I won't get up for a week, LMAO!!!122" *tumbleweed blows across the stage*
"I might be old and boring, but I was young once, no honest" *sound of one man whistling in the distance*
Oh and if the teenagers still hate him he'll then say 'I bet you do drugs/drink/steal etc because you think it's so cool?' when they don't, they're just screwed up, then tries to befriend them and turns on the innocent parents 'He's a good lad on the inside but you Madam are never there for him!'
4) Turns every story into one about him, his family or the fact that he is paying their benefits! Then does that hilarious jumping up and down whilst screaming rabid words about 'Job. FACT. taxpayers. SIT ON YOUR BACKSIDE ALL DAY. TRUE OR FALSE. MADAM!. IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR KIDS NOW. RESPONSIBILITY. I'M A DAD. YES OR NO. I'M BEING HONEST. BROTHER WITH ADDICTION NOW SINGLEHANDEDLY RUNS THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE. SKINNY SISTER. I'M SERIOUS!' ad nauseum.
5) Forces his guests to become his slaves in a more and more sexually deviant fashion. Look at me, I want to see your tears, listen to me, I know women force you to treat them badly them, those tarts love messing us around eh? I know what you mean, I love your shoes, want to come to Old Trafford with me? THEN LOOK AT ME!!!!'
..... that was Jeremy on the show, ladies and gentlemen!
I realy hate the way he absolutely jumps down the throat of some people on his feeling about a ccertain story or a hunch that he has. Also he seem to uniformly treat young men as if they're horrible people.
There are certain times when I just want to be on his show to tell him to get off his high horse.
1) His random offers of help to wayward teenagers: 'I tell you what, if you go three months without stabbing your Mum with a biro, I'll take you to Old Trafford!'
'I'm quite a big name in Birmingham, if you don't smoke crack at your Nans house, I'll let you DJ at a top club in Birmingham, can't say fairer than that, Ladies and Gentlemen, True or False?'
I can just imagine the club owner saying "Jeremy Kyle? THE Jeremy Kyle? Yeah, get that Scally kid on the decks, tell Pete Tong to go home!"
2) 'Yes or No?' 'True or False?' 'One thing we try to do on this show is be honest' after a comment where one of those phrases would never fit. eg; 'You kick the drugs habit and get out there and look for work, True or false?' eh?
"One thing we try to do on this show is be honest, so this is Joanne on the show" what? That implies that other hosts would've called her by a different name to be deceptive lol
3) Try to be chummy with the young offenders... I mean misunderstood kids on his show, attempts humour then looks at the audience, as if he is the reincarnation of Tommy Cooper, Ronnie Barker and Bob Monkhouse, to no response.
"I sat on this step, I won't get up for a week, LMAO!!!122" *tumbleweed blows across the stage*
"I might be old and boring, but I was young once, no honest" *sound of one man whistling in the distance*
Oh and if the teenagers still hate him he'll then say 'I bet you do drugs/drink/steal etc because you think it's so cool?' when they don't, they're just screwed up, then tries to befriend them and turns on the innocent parents 'He's a good lad on the inside but you Madam are never there for him!'
4) Turns every story into one about him, his family or the fact that he is paying their benefits! Then does that hilarious jumping up and down whilst screaming rabid words about 'Job. FACT. taxpayers. SIT ON YOUR BACKSIDE ALL DAY. TRUE OR FALSE. MADAM!. IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR KIDS NOW. RESPONSIBILITY. I'M A DAD. YES OR NO. I'M BEING HONEST. BROTHER WITH ADDICTION NOW SINGLEHANDEDLY RUNS THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE. SKINNY SISTER. I'M SERIOUS!' ad nauseum.
5) Forces his guests to become his slaves in a more and more sexually deviant fashion. Look at me, I want to see your tears, listen to me, I know women force you to treat them badly them, those tarts love messing us around eh? I know what you mean, I love your shoes, want to come to Old Trafford with me? THEN LOOK AT ME!!!!'
..... that was Jeremy on the show, ladies and gentlemen!
...All rounded off with a nice chorus of "Am I missing the point?" To which every sane person in a 1000-mile radius replies with a resounding: "YES! YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT, YOU FOOL! FROM NOW ON, ALWAYS ASSUME YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT UNLESS TOLD OTHERWISE!"
Oh and trixieb, count me in for the JK Bingo Marathon! Fab idea....
oh yes, of course, JK and his 'I'm Sorry, unless I'm missing the point' If you'd made '50 annoying things Jeremy Kyle does' thread I'd STILL have to leave some out!
I'm getting tickets to see this debacle live just so I can ask a question, and FORCE him to call me by my full name, 'So, Ang' 'It's Angelina' 'Angie?' 'No ANGELINA' can you imagine his face if he had to say a full, long name with so many shortened derivitives? his head will explode!
When he's giving out lie detector results he says "YOU'RE A LIAR MADAM!" and gives that strange look.
Aaargh, yes, the Strange Look! Brrrr. I can never work out whether he thinks he's being menacing or sexy....both equally ridiculous delusions, I know, but he genuinely seems to believe he is both, judging by the way he tries to be charming and twinkly :eek: when faced with an attractive woman, even though the women in question are invariably struggling to keep their dinner down.
Speaking of his attitude to attractive women, what about when he yells at a male guest: "How can you cheat on her? Look at her, she's beautiful!" Presumably he thinks cheating on an *unattractive* girlfriend is perfectly OK, then.
One of the worst examples of his nauseating treatment of women--(this one even made it onto the Charlie Brooker Screen Wipe show)--was when he made this girl take her glasses off so he could sleaze on about how attractive she was. And there was I thinking we'd moved on from the old 50s-type why-Miss-Jones-you're-beautiful-without-your-glasses attitude to spec-wearers!
i hate it when he says to violent abusive teenagers, "if you spent a week with me in my house, you would not be allowed to behave like this!" as if he is the perfect parent, and his smugness, will somehow overcome a drug addict 12 year old! it drives me mad! BRING BACK TRISHA TO ITV! gawd even kilroy would be better than him! lol
...All rounded off with a nice chorus of "Am I missing the point?" To which every sane person in a 1000-mile radius replies with a resounding: "YES! YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT, YOU FOOL! FROM NOW ON, ALWAYS ASSUME YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT UNLESS TOLD OTHERWISE!"
Oh and trixieb, count me in for the JK Bingo Marathon! Fab idea....
Thanks. We'll gather our list from this thread.
There's probably a number randomizer online somewhere, or else I can chuck bits of numbered paper in the air!
Comments
Arf! I can easily imagine him recoiling in disgust on discovering that a guest had Bad AIDS...
...Ah, but as he never fails to solemnly remind us, "most people know" this fact now.
Hes always banging on about that, and other members of his family... I wonder if they are happy with him exposing so many personal family issues??
Anyone up for Jeremy Kyle bingo?
We select say 15 phrases/events to chose from, someone randomizes them and gives us 10 each, and off we go!
2. When he makes his points (screaming) in threes
eg:
YOU GET OUT THERE
YOU GET A JOB
YOU MAKE SOME MONEY!
Love Your shoes !
'I'm quite a big name in Birmingham, if you don't smoke crack at your Nans house, I'll let you DJ at a top club in Birmingham, can't say fairer than that, Ladies and Gentlemen, True or False?'
I can just imagine the club owner saying "Jeremy Kyle? THE Jeremy Kyle? Yeah, get that Scally kid on the decks, tell Pete Tong to go home!"
2) 'Yes or No?' 'True or False?' 'One thing we try to do on this show is be honest' after a comment where one of those phrases would never fit. eg; 'You kick the drugs habit and get out there and look for work, True or false?' eh?
"One thing we try to do on this show is be honest, so this is Joanne on the show" what? That implies that other hosts would've called her by a different name to be deceptive lol
3) Try to be chummy with the young offenders... I mean misunderstood kids on his show, attempts humour then looks at the audience, as if he is the reincarnation of Tommy Cooper, Ronnie Barker and Bob Monkhouse, to no response.
"I sat on this step, I won't get up for a week, LMAO!!!122" *tumbleweed blows across the stage*
"I might be old and boring, but I was young once, no honest" *sound of one man whistling in the distance*
Oh and if the teenagers still hate him he'll then say 'I bet you do drugs/drink/steal etc because you think it's so cool?' when they don't, they're just screwed up, then tries to befriend them and turns on the innocent parents 'He's a good lad on the inside but you Madam are never there for him!'
4) Turns every story into one about him, his family or the fact that he is paying their benefits! Then does that hilarious jumping up and down whilst screaming rabid words about 'Job. FACT. taxpayers. SIT ON YOUR BACKSIDE ALL DAY. TRUE OR FALSE. MADAM!. IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR KIDS NOW. RESPONSIBILITY. I'M A DAD. YES OR NO. I'M BEING HONEST. BROTHER WITH ADDICTION NOW SINGLEHANDEDLY RUNS THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE. SKINNY SISTER. I'M SERIOUS!' ad nauseum.
5) Forces his guests to become his slaves in a more and more sexually deviant fashion. Look at me, I want to see your tears, listen to me, I know women force you to treat them badly them, those tarts love messing us around eh? I know what you mean, I love your shoes, want to come to Old Trafford with me? THEN LOOK AT ME!!!!'
..... that was Jeremy on the show, ladies and gentlemen!
There are certain times when I just want to be on his show to tell him to get off his high horse.
Other times I like him though
Yes or no?
Yes or no?
Yes or no?
Yes or no?
Oh and trixieb, count me in for the JK Bingo Marathon! Fab idea....
I'm getting tickets to see this debacle live just so I can ask a question, and FORCE him to call me by my full name, 'So, Ang' 'It's Angelina' 'Angie?' 'No ANGELINA' can you imagine his face if he had to say a full, long name with so many shortened derivitives? his head will explode!
When he's giving out lie detector results he says "YOU'RE A LIAR MADAM!" and gives that strange look.
"This is my show/I'm talking now"
"You're not a man"
Relating any story about problems with kids to himself and how he has had problems. Boo f*cking hoo!
Aaargh, yes, the Strange Look! Brrrr.
Speaking of his attitude to attractive women, what about when he yells at a male guest: "How can you cheat on her? Look at her, she's beautiful!" Presumably he thinks cheating on an *unattractive* girlfriend is perfectly OK, then.
One of the worst examples of his nauseating treatment of women--(this one even made it onto the Charlie Brooker Screen Wipe show)--was when he made this girl take her glasses off so he could sleaze on about how attractive she was. And there was I thinking we'd moved on from the old 50s-type why-Miss-Jones-you're-beautiful-without-your-glasses attitude to spec-wearers!
Opens his uneducated, untrained exploitation TV gob.
Thanks. We'll gather our list from this thread.
There's probably a number randomizer online somewhere, or else I can chuck bits of numbered paper in the air!