well i hate to upset the ballance but i think JK is great. i love his show and try to watch whenever i can. people keep forgeting the guests on this show are scum, thats why they need a tv show to sort their problems (problems which normal people dont have) and they get what they deserve. they know what they are letting themselves in for.
and for people who hate him you seem to know a lot of little detail about his show. i think we may have some fans in denial here.....
"Can I say something to you, without you getting upset?" [Translation: I require your pledged guarantee of non-getting upset in advance even though you have no idea of the severity and offensiveness of whatever claptrap I'm about to spout. But you can't get upset, no matter how horrible I am to you!]
"Hey, I'm just being honest/telling it like it is." [I'm actually being appallingly crass, offensive and cruel, but putting it this way makes it sound like something quite noble and heroic]
"Shall I tell you something about us men? Men sulk much more than women/are much more insecure than women"/insert any one of about 20 mild and playful criticisms of his own gender to try and ingratiate himself with the female viewers. [Er, actually no Jeremy, you don't speak for all men and shouldn't presume to do so. YOU might sulk more, but that's you, not the entire male population.]
"You know what happens when you cheat on a partner and they forgive you? You spend the rest of your life worrying because when they cheat on you, you're going to have to forgive them." [Umm, all very neat in theory, but I think you'll find most people don't consider themselves officially tied in to a mutual forgiveness clause. Having been forgiven for cheating in the past doesn't mean a person can't throw a wobbly and bail out if their partner strays...the notion of "HAVING to forgive" as a binding obligation doesn't really come into it.]
What I MOST dislike about him (and there are many many things) is that horrible moment with the dna or lie detector tests - they wait, for ages. For God's sake, tell the truth instantly, it's not Dancing on Ice, for heaven's sake. Is the child the baby of the father, it's not something funny. Is the person screwing around? Give the bloody results, don't arse around.
The programme is AWFULL! And his smug gittery is the only reason to watch it, he's just a slimey little person.
"You know what happens when you cheat on a partner and they forgive you? You spend the rest of your life worrying because when they cheat on you, you're going to have to forgive them." [Umm, all very neat in theory, but I think you'll find most people don't consider themselves officially tied in to a mutual forgiveness clause. Having been forgiven for cheating in the past doesn't mean a person can't throw a wobbly and bail out if their partner strays...the notion of "HAVING to forgive" as a binding obligation doesn't really come into it.]
Exactly, I think the likely scenario in relationships of this ilk is that the 'forgiving partner' will either keep on forgiving these betrayals or will leave the next time it happens. The 'Forgiven Partner' will either think 'I'm so lucky I've been given this second chance and I will do my utmost to never stray and give my partner total devotion' or 'that fool forgives anything, I can shag who I like, and they'll forgive me'
That seems more likely than Jeremy's abusive constant oneupmanship notion.
I am surprised no one has mentioned...............
"let's bring on GRAHAM our SHOW PSYCHOLOGIST LADEEEEZZZZZ AND GENNELMENNNNNNNNNNNNN ......"
cue circus show music..........
*dah dah dah daddla daaah da da daaaaaaaaaaah"
and out comes the bloke who will be able to solve all Jezza's guest's ills, problems and pyschological disorders by stating the bleeding obvious, whilst Jezza stands there, almost orgasming (such a word?? - whatever ) in rapt admiration.
The head shrink *may* be a psych 'spert - but in his appearance and manner, he would do nothing to instil hope and calm in me, should I be in need of his "understanding and total knowledge" of all things head shaped. He looks like a lorry driver to me
"He/She has left the stage ladeeez and gennlemen!!"
yeah, Jez, we worked that out for ourselves by noticing AN EMPTY CHAIR :rolleyes:
"do you want to hold his/her hand whilst I read out the lie detector results of whether your husband/wife/partner/lover has shared or exchanged bodily fluids with AN Other??"
"you are a LIAR!!!! :mad::mad: aren't YOU???!!!
he will be on the telly box in a minute, so I am up for playing the Jezza Kyle bingo :D
This bloke is an affront to right thinking people everywhere.
At least Jerry springer treated his "guests" with respect.
I reckon that when he's at home his missus wears the trousers and it makes him feel so inadequat that he's left with no choice but bully no hopers on national TV
:eek: :eek: Er, so far, he's been threatened with being punched out, called a w**ker and mocked for not being with his first wife - all in the first half hour! :eek:
I reckon that when he's at home his missus wears the trousers and it makes him feel so inadequat that he's left with no choice but bully no hopers on national TV
Yes, that also explains why he makes fun of men whose partners are treated as an equal "Ooh, you've got a thumbprint on your forehead the size of St Pauls!" He needs to ridicule relationships in which the women has equal status as that sort of relationship clearly makes him feel very uncomfortable. The best way to avoid confronting his uneasiness is to ridicule.
We've just had "I'm not even out of first gear yet"! He's been yelling at a wife-beater for the past 10 minutes, which means we're probably only a few seconds away from the respectful handshake and the "Hey, mate, it takes a big man to put his hands in the air...you've earned my respect". (He seems to think his respect is the finest prize anyone could ever hope to win.)
1 patronises disabled kids
2 keeps telling everyone his age like it matters
3 YOURE A DISGRACE MADAM
4 shortens peoples names ie alan becomes al but god forbid they do it to him
5 my name is on the wall, on the jermy kyle show its all me me me
Don't I remember reading some time ago (in a newspaper, so in the public domain), that, while he was on local radio, they ran a daft competition (which he presided over) in which two complete strangers were introduced with a view to marriage. The couple married, but the marriage didn't work out - and Saint Jeremy helped himself to the ex-wife. Presumably he was still married elsewhere at the time, as he frequently refers to "driving through the night to see his children".
I am watching the programme now and one of the guests has just raised this very subject and the bottom line of the argument that ensued was "Don't start with me, I'm not even out of first gear".
Mr Kyle should bear in mind the quote from somewhere or the other that says "before you remove the speck from someone else's eye, try taking the plank out of your own"!! :mad:
Exactly, I think the likely scenario in relationships of this ilk is that the 'forgiving partner' will either keep on forgiving these betrayals or will leave the next time it happens. The 'Forgiven Partner' will either think 'I'm so lucky I've been given this second chance and I will do my utmost to never stray and give my partner total devotion' or 'that fool forgives anything, I can shag who I like, and they'll forgive me'
That seems more likely than Jeremy's abusive constant oneupmanship notion.
Spot on....but like all smug pontificaters, his standard-issue rants are so firmly engraved in his head, he never stops to think about whether they are actually true, or applicable. He just goes into automatic pilot and trots it out, and the audience applauds like they've never heard such wisdom. This reinforces his conviction that his eloquence knows no bounds.
He's been yelling at a wife-beater for the past 10 minutes, which means we're probably only a few seconds away from the respectful handshake and the "Hey, mate, it takes a big man to put his hands in the air...you've earned my respect". (He seems to think his respect is the finest prize anyone could ever hope to win.)
We've just had "I'm not even out of first gear yet"! He's been yelling at a wife-beater for the past 10 minutes, which means we're probably only a few seconds away from the respectful handshake and the "Hey, mate, it takes a big man to put his hands in the air...you've earned my respect". (He seems to think his respect is the finest prize anyone could ever hope to win.)
Well, we got the respectful handshake...! He (JK) also did his matey smile and suddenly switching from "yelling and taunting the wifebeating scum" mode to grinning and "hey, we're all blokes, let's have a bit of a laugh" mode. You can see from the leer on his face how much he loved this bit, as it gives him a chance to cosy up to the big tough bully man and be his mate.
I am watching the programme now and one of the guests has just raised this very subject and the bottom line of the argument that ensued was "Don't start with me, I'm not even out of first gear".
:mad:
I'm very curious to know what exactly he means by "coming out of first gear", which he's now started threatening to do when some big tough angry male guest gets stroppy with him. On previous evidence, I suspect it means the jumping-up-and-down-like-a-little-shouty-frog and gibbering-in-a-high-pitched-voice-like-Dr-Statham-from-Green-Wing routine. Oooh, I bet the big tough angry guests are quaking in their boots at the prospect. :eek:
That's not Jeremy Kyle music. I can spot those dah dah daddla dah's a mile away. :eek: It's Trisha!
And do you think we could sue Jeremy if we played a Jeremy Kyle Show drinking game where we had to drink shots every time he did one of his catchphrases and ended up with alcohol poisoning after first five minutes?
I'm very curious to know what exactly he means by "coming out of first gear", which he's now started threatening to do when some big tough angry male guest gets stroppy with him. On previous evidence, I suspect it means the jumping-up-and-down-like-a-little-shouty-frog and gibbering-in-a-high-pitched-voice-like-Dr-Statham-from-Green-Wing routine. Oooh, I bet the big tough angry guests are quaking in their boots at the prospect. :eek:
Yes - and what a big man JK is when his irate victim is surrounded by 7ft tall knuckle-draggers!! Life, Mr Kyle, is not black and white - it's the grey areas that you don't seem to have a clue about.
I've got to 10 numbers on the bingo card, and I'm only up to post 6!
1)Shouts ‘That’s a Fact!’
2)Refers to children as ‘it’.
3)Says ‘Voice of Reason’
4)Says ‘Cheeky Chappie’
5)Mentions the efforts he made to see his kids.
6)Calls wife-beaters ‘brave’.
7)Says guests are ‘putting their hands up in the air’.
8)Calls a woman ‘sweet’.
9)Adds ‘Yes or No’ to the end of a question.
10) Says “Oooooh, so I suppose you're one of the 4%?" to someone who has failed the lie detector test.
Wil someone else please continue as I have to go out!
Feel free to ammend the above.
On previous evidence, I suspect it means the jumping-up-and-down-like-a-little-shouty-frog and gibbering-in-a-high-pitched-voice-like-Dr-Statham-from-Green-Wing routine.
I've got to 10 numbers on the bingo card, and I'm only up to post 6!
1)Shouts ‘That’s a Fact!’
2)Refers to children as ‘it’.
3)Says ‘Voice of Reason’
4)Says ‘Cheeky Chappie’
5)Mentions the efforts he made to see his kids.
6)Calls wife-beaters ‘brave’.
7)Says guests are ‘putting their hands up in the air’.
8)Calls a woman ‘sweet’.
9)Adds ‘Yes or No’ to the end of a question.
10) Says “Oooooh, so I suppose you're one of the 4%?" to someone who has failed the lie detector test.
Wil someone else please continue as I have to go out!
Feel free to ammend the above.
11) "True or false?"
12) "Everyone's taking up positions"
13) "We're gonna nail this TODAY"
14) "Let's hear those all-important results"
15) "Now let's bring Graham on...this guy is a GENIUS ladies and gentleman"
16) "I haven't even come out of first gear yet!"
17) "Bless your heart" (spoken in a syrupy patronising tone to anyone with a disability)
18) Offering to arrange some outlandishly unlikely treat for wayward teenagers (eg training with Man United) without any explanation of how he plans to fulfil the promise
19) The "When you cheat and get forgiven, you spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder"...speech
20) The heroin addict brother/anorexic sister in law story
21) The Gibbering Frog With Dr Statham Voice Bouncing-Up-And-Down Dance
I've got to 10 numbers on the bingo card, and I'm only up to post 6!
1)Shouts ‘That’s a Fact!’
2)Refers to children as ‘it’.
3)Says ‘Voice of Reason’
4)Says ‘Cheeky Chappie’
5)Mentions the efforts he made to see his kids.
6)Calls wife-beaters ‘brave’.
7)Says guests are ‘putting their hands up in the air’.
8)Calls a woman ‘sweet’.
9)Adds ‘Yes or No’ to the end of a question.
10) Says “Oooooh, so I suppose you're one of the 4%?" to someone who has failed the lie detector test.
Wil someone else please continue as I have to go out!
Feel free to ammend the above.
Comments
and for people who hate him you seem to know a lot of little detail about his show. i think we may have some fans in denial here.....
"Hey, I'm just being honest/telling it like it is." [I'm actually being appallingly crass, offensive and cruel, but putting it this way makes it sound like something quite noble and heroic]
"Shall I tell you something about us men? Men sulk much more than women/are much more insecure than women"/insert any one of about 20 mild and playful criticisms of his own gender to try and ingratiate himself with the female viewers. [Er, actually no Jeremy, you don't speak for all men and shouldn't presume to do so. YOU might sulk more, but that's you, not the entire male population.]
"You know what happens when you cheat on a partner and they forgive you? You spend the rest of your life worrying because when they cheat on you, you're going to have to forgive them." [Umm, all very neat in theory, but I think you'll find most people don't consider themselves officially tied in to a mutual forgiveness clause. Having been forgiven for cheating in the past doesn't mean a person can't throw a wobbly and bail out if their partner strays...the notion of "HAVING to forgive" as a binding obligation doesn't really come into it.]
"Oooh, you're tall aren't you?"
"Nice shoes"
The programme is AWFULL! And his smug gittery is the only reason to watch it, he's just a slimey little person.
Exactly, I think the likely scenario in relationships of this ilk is that the 'forgiving partner' will either keep on forgiving these betrayals or will leave the next time it happens. The 'Forgiven Partner' will either think 'I'm so lucky I've been given this second chance and I will do my utmost to never stray and give my partner total devotion' or 'that fool forgives anything, I can shag who I like, and they'll forgive me'
That seems more likely than Jeremy's abusive constant oneupmanship notion.
"let's bring on GRAHAM our SHOW PSYCHOLOGIST LADEEEEZZZZZ AND GENNELMENNNNNNNNNNNNN ......"
cue circus show music..........
*dah dah dah daddla daaah da da daaaaaaaaaaah"
and out comes the bloke who will be able to solve all Jezza's guest's ills, problems and pyschological disorders by stating the bleeding obvious, whilst Jezza stands there, almost orgasming (such a word??
The head shrink *may* be a psych 'spert - but in his appearance and manner, he would do nothing to instil hope and calm in me, should I be in need of his "understanding and total knowledge" of all things head shaped. He looks like a lorry driver to me
"He/She has left the stage ladeeez and gennlemen!!"
yeah, Jez, we worked that out for ourselves by noticing AN EMPTY CHAIR :rolleyes:
"do you want to hold his/her hand whilst I read out the lie detector results of whether your husband/wife/partner/lover has shared or exchanged bodily fluids with AN Other??"
"you are a LIAR!!!! :mad::mad: aren't YOU???!!!
he will be on the telly box in a minute, so I am up for playing the Jezza Kyle bingo
At least Jerry springer treated his "guests" with respect.
I reckon that when he's at home his missus wears the trousers and it makes him feel so inadequat that he's left with no choice but bully no hopers on national TV
Yes, that also explains why he makes fun of men whose partners are treated as an equal "Ooh, you've got a thumbprint on your forehead the size of St Pauls!" He needs to ridicule relationships in which the women has equal status as that sort of relationship clearly makes him feel very uncomfortable. The best way to avoid confronting his uneasiness is to ridicule.
We've just had "I'm not even out of first gear yet"!
2 keeps telling everyone his age like it matters
3 YOURE A DISGRACE MADAM
4 shortens peoples names ie alan becomes al but god forbid they do it to him
5 my name is on the wall, on the jermy kyle show its all me me me
I am watching the programme now and one of the guests has just raised this very subject and the bottom line of the argument that ensued was "Don't start with me, I'm not even out of first gear".
Mr Kyle should bear in mind the quote from somewhere or the other that says "before you remove the speck from someone else's eye, try taking the plank out of your own"!! :mad:
Spot on....but like all smug pontificaters, his standard-issue rants are so firmly engraved in his head, he never stops to think about whether they are actually true, or applicable. He just goes into automatic pilot and trots it out, and the audience applauds like they've never heard such wisdom. This reinforces his conviction that his eloquence knows no bounds.
You were spot on with that! He's so predictable!
I'm very curious to know what exactly he means by "coming out of first gear", which he's now started threatening to do when some big tough angry male guest gets stroppy with him. On previous evidence, I suspect it means the jumping-up-and-down-like-a-little-shouty-frog and gibbering-in-a-high-pitched-voice-like-Dr-Statham-from-Green-Wing routine. Oooh, I bet the big tough angry guests are quaking in their boots at the prospect.
That's not Jeremy Kyle music. I can spot those dah dah daddla dah's a mile away. :eek: It's Trisha!
And do you think we could sue Jeremy if we played a Jeremy Kyle Show drinking game where we had to drink shots every time he did one of his catchphrases and ended up with alcohol poisoning after first five minutes?
Yes - and what a big man JK is when his irate victim is surrounded by 7ft tall knuckle-draggers!! Life, Mr Kyle, is not black and white - it's the grey areas that you don't seem to have a clue about.
1)Shouts ‘That’s a Fact!’
2)Refers to children as ‘it’.
3)Says ‘Voice of Reason’
4)Says ‘Cheeky Chappie’
5)Mentions the efforts he made to see his kids.
6)Calls wife-beaters ‘brave’.
7)Says guests are ‘putting their hands up in the air’.
8)Calls a woman ‘sweet’.
9)Adds ‘Yes or No’ to the end of a question.
10) Says “Oooooh, so I suppose you're one of the 4%?" to someone who has failed the lie detector test.
Wil someone else please continue as I have to go out!
Feel free to ammend the above.
Arf! I knew I'd seen that act before somewhere.
"You, madam, have a rubbish vagina. Yes or No?"
I was about to write that but you beat me to it.
11) "True or false?"
12) "Everyone's taking up positions"
13) "We're gonna nail this TODAY"
14) "Let's hear those all-important results"
15) "Now let's bring Graham on...this guy is a GENIUS ladies and gentleman"
16) "I haven't even come out of first gear yet!"
17) "Bless your heart" (spoken in a syrupy patronising tone to anyone with a disability)
18) Offering to arrange some outlandishly unlikely treat for wayward teenagers (eg training with Man United) without any explanation of how he plans to fulfil the promise
19) The "When you cheat and get forgiven, you spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder"...speech
20) The heroin addict brother/anorexic sister in law story
21) The Gibbering Frog With Dr Statham Voice Bouncing-Up-And-Down Dance
lol thats funny