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Anger - Rumours

lizmlizm Posts: 989
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in Advice #1
A jealous man who tried to control me has spread some nasty rumours about me because he THOUGHT something. He was wrong!! Anyhow everything got twisted . I'm so angry that people believe stuff so easily. How can I release this anger towards this man? We don't speak now. How dare he get so involved in my life because he was jealous. What right has he to do this?>:(

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  • AllyourKittyAllyourKitty Posts: 897
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    #2
    lizm wrote: »
    A jealous man who tried to control me has spread some nasty rumours about me because he THOUGHT something. He was wrong!! Anyhow everything got twisted . I'm so angry that people believe stuff so easily. How can I release this anger towards this man? We don't speak now. How dare he get so involved in my life because he was jealous. What right has he to do this?>:(

    Just let me get my Bunny Boiler detector out here.....
  • lizmlizm Posts: 989
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    #3
    AllyourKitty wrote: »
    Just let me get my Bunny Boiler detector out here.....

    Nice...
  • What name??What name?? Posts: 26,623
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    #4
    Just a question. Was the rumour that your a psycho who needs anger management? This also answers the question of why people are prepared to believe the wurst about you. Your post is a bit scary.
  • JasonJason Posts: 76,557
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    #5
    Rise above it. Get more satisfaction knowing you've been the better person and not lowered yourself to his level. If it bothers you what other people think of you then that's obviously a whole other issue, but something like this isn't worth getting in to a tit for tat "revenge war" over.
  • Frankie_LittleFrankie_Little Posts: 9,271
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    #6
    Completely ignore whatever it is he has said or done. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he has upset you. It will be more galling for him to get absolutely no reaction from you whatsoever. Whenever anyone references the rumours he has apparently spread about you, laugh.
  • What name??What name?? Posts: 26,623
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    #7
    Frankie_Little wrote: »
    Completely ignore whatever it is he has said or done. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he has upset you. It will be more galling for him to get absolutely no reaction from you whatsoever. Whenever anyone references the rumours he has apparently spread about you, laugh.

    But not too manically....
  • RebelScumRebelScum Posts: 16,008
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    #8
    What name?? wrote: »
    But not too manically....

    ...unless it's Monday.
  • MartinPickeringMartinPickering Posts: 3,711
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    #9
    This should help: http://www.omharmonics.com/online/lessons/8-forgiveness?eid=oh-lesson8
  • lizmlizm Posts: 989
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    #10
    What name?? wrote: »
    Just a question. Was the rumour that your a psycho who needs anger management? This also answers the question of why people are prepared to believe the wurst about you. Your post is a bit scary.

    Sorry.. did I come across a psycho killer - I'm not. I did laugh when I opened your forgiveness link :) Thanks to everyone for all your advice. I just find it unfair that somebody can do this to someone because of their own Insecurities. I know taking the higher ground is probably the right way to go but I just want to boil his head!!! (Joke)
  • Frankie_LittleFrankie_Little Posts: 9,271
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    #11
    lizm wrote: »
    Sorry.. did I come across a psycho killer - I'm not. I did laugh when I opened your forgiveness link :) Thanks to everyone for all your advice. I just find it unfair that somebody can do this to someone because of their own Insecurities. I know taking the higher ground is probably the right way to go but I just want to boil his head!!! (Joke)
    Imagine you have wreaked the worst revenge ever on this man. You've managed to steal all his clothes so he has to go to work naked. You've spiked his water with neat vodka at an important and crucial business meeting. You've sewn prawns into his curtain hems, punctured his condoms, sold his E-type jag for 50p and given away his vintage wine collection to the local park drinkers.

    Then - knowing that you didn't actually do any of that - move on with your life, happily and serenely. Revenge is a load of bollocks and the vengeful person usually ends up feeling even worse than before.
  • delazarousdelazarous Posts: 503
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    #12
    The old saying, 'The best revenge is to live a happy life', is very true!
    I can certainly understand your anger and have experienced something similar myself but I'm glad, in hindsight, that I never retaliated.
    Do not sink to his level, his negativity is a sign of his own inadequacy - nothing to do with you so not your problem.
    It is horrible to be judged unfairly but you have no control over other people's thoughts or views so again, it's not your problem - concentrate on enjoying your life and be happy that you don't have to deal with him any longer - intentionally spreading rumours, regardless of what he believes, is a form of abuse and indicative of more serious issues!
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