I've actually seen much less 'creepy' occurrences reported in my local newspaper.
So would definitely recommend telling the local bobby/ neighbourhood police, or if your friend doesn't want to do that, maybe find one of the park rangers and tell them.
Then at least they can keep an eye on the situation to see if he's hanging around there often, especially if it's quite an isolated spot.
Once upon a time, back in the 'permissive 70s', folk would and could say all sorts and get away with it. Believe me, I know. Back then I think the police may well have just laughed things off. But not now. I think your friend would be taken very seriously indeed and rightly so. The young chap may well have only been trying to chat her up, but who's to say.
If you post on facebook that a 'foreign' guy is hassling women and making them feel uncomfortable someone will take that wrong
It has happened before yes
It could be said that it is a bit dramatic to assume this guy is a danger, She could make his life hell by making him out as a danger
I understand the importance of fairness and the importance of being careful with this type of thing. I know that vigilantes do exist and that people can be wrongfully targeted.
I also understand the importance and reality of dangerous men who target women in the street, in the daytime. That also happens (Much more often than the lynching of wrongfully or rightfully accused men). This mans actions were without a doubt inappropriate.
He hasn't been identified, theres no name or face to this person, so by warning other women of a potential danger on facebook cannot possibily lead to any vigilante incident. It's merely a warning to be careful.
She wasn't chatted up or fancied though - not humour or bashfulness or charming going on, he followed her repeatedly, he repremanded her for showing flesh...the in a bizarre turnaround - judged her bottom as very attractive..then when she ran off he tried changing the tune and talk about photography. She's used to being chatted up as she's cute - and this was not being chatted up - this was very odd behavior from a complete stranger on a secluded path. She's also not the type of woman to make a fuss over nothing.
She now want to give the jeans she was wearing to the charity shop and she feels grubby - I think it's really affected her.
If you compare what you have written here to your opening post, you may agree that you are now retelling the event with a definitively sinister slant that wasn't there originally.
I stand by my reply to your OP, but as you have now implied the man followed her as she tried to leave, then perhaps she should report the incident.
The only thing she can do is just note it down in a diary as the police will just file it away.
When my work vehicle got broken into in a Morrisons car park in broad daylight in front of CCTV + giving the serial numbers of equipment stolen, the police decided to close the case(polite way of saying they couldn't be bothered with the hassle), so i'm unsure what her local police would do in her situation.
If you compare what you have written here to your opening post, you may agree that you are now retelling the event with a definitively sinister slant that wasn't there originally.
I stand by my reply to your OP, but as you have now implied the man followed her as she tried to leave, then perhaps she should report the incident.
No, I deliberately decided to leave the ethicity of the man out in the origional post because I wanted opinions without anyone knowing that detail. I'm sure you'll understand why. Only when I spoke to my neighbour again did she bring up the possibility of it being a cultural clash being the reason the man told her she was revealing her bare skin which is when I called the man foreign.
Yes she should report it to the police, they might not do anything about one report but if they get several they will know they have a serial pest. Behaviour like this usually escalates.
What kind of man watches and then approaches a woman alone in an isolated location?
No, I deliberately decided to leave the ethicity of the man out in the origional post because I wanted opinions without anyone knowing that detail. I'm sure you'll understand why. Only when I spoke to my neighbour again did she bring up the possibility of it being a cultural clash being the reason the man told her she was revealing her bare skin which is when I called the man foreign.
*sigh*
Neither of the two posts I asked you to compare mentioned the man's ethnicity. I hadn't given a thought to the colour of his skin, it was his actions, as you described them, that had become more sinister in your second telling of the incident.
Neither of the two posts I asked you to compare mentioned the man's ethnicity. I hadn't given a thought to the colour of his skin, it was his actions, as you described them, that had become more sinister in your second telling of the incident.
Oh don't sigh at me. There's no difference in the posts. I know Advice can be full of BS dilemmas sometimes - but this isn't one. If you can't be helpful - step aside please as there is a woman here in turmoil not knowing what to do.
Yes she should tell the police. She was made to feel uncomfortable and it will probably stop her from going back there. Neighbourhood beat bobbies will be asked to keep an eye out for a while. He might have done it before, or plans to again. If it is felt that the man comes from a different culture that thinks this behaviour is acceptable, he needs to be told that it isn't because he might get himself into greater trouble.
If you can't be helpful - step aside please as there is a woman here in turmoil not knowing what to do.
DS can't be more helpful because you are not the woman in question (if I take the 'friend' description at face value).
She already knows perfectly well what she should do - talk it over with the police on the 101 non-emergency number or go in to her local police station but you have said - twice I think - that she doesn't want to do that in case it escalates. So she will remain in turmoil. Going on holiday isn't 'a complication' - what does she think will happen? She'll be told not to leave the country?
As turmoil is where she'll remain - unless she reports it, imo - there's not a lot of point you returning to this thread and getting irritable. Nor is there much point you discussing this further with your friend unless you're enjoying the drama. Only she can take action... she doesn't want to.
I would report it - even if it is not followed up at this time, it is worth the report being on file. It would also make me feel more in control of the situation instead of having uneasy ideas in my head that I've become a victim in some way.
Oh don't sigh at me. There's no difference in the posts. I know Advice can be full of BS dilemmas sometimes - but this isn't one. If you can't be helpful - step aside please as there is a woman here in turmoil not knowing what to do.
There is quite a lot of difference in the posts as outlined below.
This: She was not sure if the man was delighting in telling her - or repremanded her.
Becomes this: he repremanded her for showing flesh
This: He then said her bum was very attractive and tried to engage her in conversation about her camera equipment.
Becomes: then when she ran off he tried changing the tune and talk about photography
This he followed her repeatedly didn't appear anywhere in the opening post.
I have given different advice dependent on your telling of the incident. As the only one here who has seen the impact this event has had on your friend, my advice is to go with your own instinct and no one else's. Particularly as you don't appear to be very receptive to opinions that may go against your own.
Update: She has decided to inform the police about the incident - her worried partner insisted she did.
A very odd incident indeed - I'm glad she did.
BTW - apparently some police forces have online incident reporting now - check out your local force to see if they do - our does and was used in this case.
Thanks for your input. I have had three different moral dilemmas fired at me in recent weeks from different and I feel like a have brain burn out.
Reporting to the Police, I know it was a long time ago, but when I moved here I called in Police Station and told Desk Sargeant I had just moved into new property and I was going away on holiday for a month. I had to inform them as I had Guns in the House, and needed to re-register them in different County. When I got back after a month I found all sorts of notes through letterbox from Police saying they were trying to contact me for days on end , some were quite threatening if I didn't contact them straightaway.
A similar thing, Same time I told Barclays I was going abroad for a month and I needed new Credit cards , Not to send them to my new address ,but I would pick them up from Branch when I got back as there would be no body at home for a month. Guess what , when I got home new cards laid on door mat.
I had to inform them as I had Guns in the House, and needed to re-register them in different County. When I got back after a month I found all sorts of notes through letterbox from Police saying they were trying to contact me for days on end , some were quite threatening if I didn't contact them straightaway.
Apart from the fact a report to the police was involved, your story has no relevance whatsoever to the woman's dilemma. You were pursued hard because of the guns, no other reason. You know how seriously the UK takes gun registration and to have left everything up in the air would not have amused the local constabulary.
The OP's friend is hardly likely to be pursued in the same way just because she reported an odd guy in the undergrowth on a footpath.
Unless she also told the police that she'd got a gun and was going back to find him on her return from hols...
That sounds like a very creepy man indeed. I hope your friend is okay.
If she's on facebook it might be a good idea if she posted about this incident on your local community page so other women can be aware of this creep. x
The only thing she can do is just note it down in a diary as the police will just file it away.
When my work vehicle got broken into in a Morrisons car park in broad daylight in front of CCTV + giving the serial numbers of equipment stolen, the police decided to close the case(polite way of saying they couldn't be bothered with the hassle), so i'm unsure what her local police would do in her situation.
Eh? A possible sex offender and theft from a vehicle are poles apart.
The only thing she can do is just note it down in a diary as the police will just file it away.
When my work vehicle got broken into in a Morrisons car park in broad daylight in front of CCTV + giving the serial numbers of equipment stolen, the police decided to close the case(polite way of saying they couldn't be bothered with the hassle), so i'm unsure what her local police would do in her situation.
I'm not sure what else you'd be expecting, as in my experience most private CCTV is of notoriously poor quality and even where the images captured are of good quality, identifying the offenders isn't always possible.
No case is ever closed however, it's just filed and no longer live. If ever the equipment with that serial number is located or booked in to seized property, the investigation will be reopened. Likewise if any offenders are found locally responsible for any similar incidents, your incident will be put to them in interview.
Reporting to the Police, I know it was a long time ago, but when I moved here I called in Police Station and told Desk Sargeant I had just moved into new property and I was going away on holiday for a month. I had to inform them as I had Guns in the House, and needed to re-register them in different County. When I got back after a month I found all sorts of notes through letterbox from Police saying they were trying to contact me for days on end , some were quite threatening if I didn't contact them straightaway.
Threatening in what way? What were you being threatened with?
A similar thing, Same time I told Barclays I was going abroad for a month and I needed new Credit cards , Not to send them to my new address ,but I would pick them up from Branch when I got back as there would be no body at home for a month. Guess what , when I got home new cards laid on door mat.
Typical case of one department not talking to another, combined with automated systems unfortunately.
Report it. A man speaking to a woman at the park is definitely dodgy. He is no doubt some kind of potential sex-offender, and needs to be imprisoned immediately, for the safety of all women.
I had an 'incident' while I was a student. I didn't report it part out of embarrassment . Then years later I met a woman who had had a more serious experience with a guy at the same spot. I wished I had reported it. The police can ignore it, file it away or whatever. But it could be that if they are getting lots of similar reports, it would alert them to a possible risk. Just imagine if this went beyond 'perving' and you said nothing?
Comments
So would definitely recommend telling the local bobby/ neighbourhood police, or if your friend doesn't want to do that, maybe find one of the park rangers and tell them.
Then at least they can keep an eye on the situation to see if he's hanging around there often, especially if it's quite an isolated spot.
Once upon a time, back in the 'permissive 70s', folk would and could say all sorts and get away with it. Believe me, I know. Back then I think the police may well have just laughed things off. But not now. I think your friend would be taken very seriously indeed and rightly so. The young chap may well have only been trying to chat her up, but who's to say.
I sincerely doubt that will happen, it's a bit dramatic to think that it might.
Letting other women know that there is a potential danger is important. Has that ever led to a public lynching before?
If you post on facebook that a 'foreign' guy is hassling women and making them feel uncomfortable someone will take that wrong
It has happened before yes
It could be said that it is a bit dramatic to assume this guy is a danger, She could make his life hell by making him out as a danger
I understand the importance of fairness and the importance of being careful with this type of thing. I know that vigilantes do exist and that people can be wrongfully targeted.
I also understand the importance and reality of dangerous men who target women in the street, in the daytime. That also happens (Much more often than the lynching of wrongfully or rightfully accused men). This mans actions were without a doubt inappropriate.
He hasn't been identified, theres no name or face to this person, so by warning other women of a potential danger on facebook cannot possibily lead to any vigilante incident. It's merely a warning to be careful.
If you compare what you have written here to your opening post, you may agree that you are now retelling the event with a definitively sinister slant that wasn't there originally.
I stand by my reply to your OP, but as you have now implied the man followed her as she tried to leave, then perhaps she should report the incident.
When my work vehicle got broken into in a Morrisons car park in broad daylight in front of CCTV + giving the serial numbers of equipment stolen, the police decided to close the case(polite way of saying they couldn't be bothered with the hassle), so i'm unsure what her local police would do in her situation.
No, I deliberately decided to leave the ethicity of the man out in the origional post because I wanted opinions without anyone knowing that detail. I'm sure you'll understand why. Only when I spoke to my neighbour again did she bring up the possibility of it being a cultural clash being the reason the man told her she was revealing her bare skin which is when I called the man foreign.
What kind of man watches and then approaches a woman alone in an isolated location?
*sigh*
Neither of the two posts I asked you to compare mentioned the man's ethnicity. I hadn't given a thought to the colour of his skin, it was his actions, as you described them, that had become more sinister in your second telling of the incident.
Oh don't sigh at me. There's no difference in the posts. I know Advice can be full of BS dilemmas sometimes - but this isn't one. If you can't be helpful - step aside please as there is a woman here in turmoil not knowing what to do.
She already knows perfectly well what she should do - talk it over with the police on the 101 non-emergency number or go in to her local police station but you have said - twice I think - that she doesn't want to do that in case it escalates. So she will remain in turmoil. Going on holiday isn't 'a complication' - what does she think will happen? She'll be told not to leave the country?
As turmoil is where she'll remain - unless she reports it, imo - there's not a lot of point you returning to this thread and getting irritable. Nor is there much point you discussing this further with your friend unless you're enjoying the drama. Only she can take action... she doesn't want to.
I would report it - even if it is not followed up at this time, it is worth the report being on file. It would also make me feel more in control of the situation instead of having uneasy ideas in my head that I've become a victim in some way.
There is quite a lot of difference in the posts as outlined below.
This: She was not sure if the man was delighting in telling her - or repremanded her.
Becomes this: he repremanded her for showing flesh
This: He then said her bum was very attractive and tried to engage her in conversation about her camera equipment.
Becomes: then when she ran off he tried changing the tune and talk about photography
This he followed her repeatedly didn't appear anywhere in the opening post.
I have given different advice dependent on your telling of the incident. As the only one here who has seen the impact this event has had on your friend, my advice is to go with your own instinct and no one else's. Particularly as you don't appear to be very receptive to opinions that may go against your own.
A very odd incident indeed - I'm glad she did.
BTW - apparently some police forces have online incident reporting now - check out your local force to see if they do - our does and was used in this case.
Thanks for your input. I have had three different moral dilemmas fired at me in recent weeks from different and I feel like a have brain burn out.
A similar thing, Same time I told Barclays I was going abroad for a month and I needed new Credit cards , Not to send them to my new address ,but I would pick them up from Branch when I got back as there would be no body at home for a month. Guess what , when I got home new cards laid on door mat.
The OP's friend is hardly likely to be pursued in the same way just because she reported an odd guy in the undergrowth on a footpath.
Unless she also told the police that she'd got a gun and was going back to find him on her return from hols...
Good idea.
Eh? A possible sex offender and theft from a vehicle are poles apart.
This wont simply be filed away at all.
I'm not sure what else you'd be expecting, as in my experience most private CCTV is of notoriously poor quality and even where the images captured are of good quality, identifying the offenders isn't always possible.
No case is ever closed however, it's just filed and no longer live. If ever the equipment with that serial number is located or booked in to seized property, the investigation will be reopened. Likewise if any offenders are found locally responsible for any similar incidents, your incident will be put to them in interview.
Threatening in what way? What were you being threatened with?
Typical case of one department not talking to another, combined with automated systems unfortunately.