Feelings from a female friend?
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I just wanted to run this by you all and see what you thought and what advice you would offer...
I am female, and I spent a weekend away with a few friends, one of these friends (who is also female) is one of my closest, however due to living far away we don't see eachother that much but do talk very regularly. During the weekend away, we all ended up getting very drunk, and there was about 5 of us sharing a room. We all ended up lay on the bed after a night out and I was lay next to my friend, I was drunk myself but remember exactly what happened, and my friend kept stroking my arms and legs and lying partially on me, this carried on when we eventually went to bed.
She didn't seem to remember a thing of the night before when we woke up so I didn't want to mention it, but then we had another night out, and again the same thing happened again, there were other people in the same room as us but it was only me that she was showing any signs of affection to.
Do you guys think this was just acts of drunkeness or do you think there could be more to it than that? We are very close friends and if it did turn out that she had more than just friendship feelings for me I'd want to handle it in the right way so I can still keep her as a friend.
Oh and the obvious question, to my knowledge she's heterosexual, but still, what do you all think?
I am female, and I spent a weekend away with a few friends, one of these friends (who is also female) is one of my closest, however due to living far away we don't see eachother that much but do talk very regularly. During the weekend away, we all ended up getting very drunk, and there was about 5 of us sharing a room. We all ended up lay on the bed after a night out and I was lay next to my friend, I was drunk myself but remember exactly what happened, and my friend kept stroking my arms and legs and lying partially on me, this carried on when we eventually went to bed.
She didn't seem to remember a thing of the night before when we woke up so I didn't want to mention it, but then we had another night out, and again the same thing happened again, there were other people in the same room as us but it was only me that she was showing any signs of affection to.
Do you guys think this was just acts of drunkeness or do you think there could be more to it than that? We are very close friends and if it did turn out that she had more than just friendship feelings for me I'd want to handle it in the right way so I can still keep her as a friend.
Oh and the obvious question, to my knowledge she's heterosexual, but still, what do you all think?
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It's easy enough to escape a pawing in these circumstances - you can get up and head for the loo and then stagger to a different sleeping place if necessary. If a friend is so drunk they don't know what they are doing it's possible to roll them a bit to make some space or fix it for someone to be between you.
But you allowed it to continue, so I would gently suggest you think about your own feelings towards your friend and get them straight in your head before considering hers.
Thank you for your reply, and I do understand how the fact that I didn't move her or go and sleep elsewhere may seem a bit suspect, but I didn't know if it was just harmless drunkeness and if me moving would've seemed like I was taking things the wrong way, or if it was more than that, if I suspected she had any kind of feelings other than friendship before all this happened I would've got up and moved straight away. I know how I feel about my friend and she is like a sister to me, hence why I was so taken aback to how she was acting, but thankyou for your honest reply
When we're sober we're still best friends, we find eachother very funny, get on really well with eachother and always seem to have eachother's best interest at heart, nothing like what happened on those nights has happened whilst sober. Thank you for your reply
Yeah you're right, knowing what kind of stuff happens when we've had too much to drink, I'll make sure that we go to seperate homes/beds after drinking. Thanks for your advice.
That's a good idea, I can discuss this kind of thing with her but I've never really felt a need to bring it up till now. Do you think then that it is more feelings than a drunken thing?
Curious?
Or just want to save the friendship if she tries?
I think the previous suggestion of a sexuality talk is a good start.
:eek:
Awesome!
There's nothing even vaguely sexual in it though - on either side. We've been friends for years.
It's hard to say without knowing her, hopefully she'll be honest when you talk to her.
No, I wouldn't take it further. She's like a sister more than anything and I would even go as far to say that I do love her but it's just not that kind of love, more of a caring about her love.
Lol, yes to the point of hugging etc but I can't say that we make a habit of stroking eachother lol.
Sober life; I can literally talk to her about anything, we always look out for eachother even though we don't live particularly near eachother. She's 3 years older than me so she always tends to look after me. We're affectionate as friends to the point of hugging and linking arms when we're out together but that's where it stops. But we get on very very well and we seem to just reflect off eachother, we've similar senses of humour and we just seem to be on eachothers wavelength if you know what I mean.
Thanks for replying, you see I can see why like in bed people do end up getting a bit close to eachother etc especially when you're close to that person but it was the arm and leg stroking that's made me think abit more into it, because in any other circumstance I would consider that as being sexual, but I do understand that what may be a sexual advance in one person's mind may just be a sign of affection in another's.
It sounds as if she was just being affectionate, what about her dating life? I think if she was gay, she'd probably tell you if you're that close.
Edit: If she's is gay, get her to PM me.
A guy I work with is very touchy feely - even in the office.
He slaps everyone's backs, does lots of playful punches, rubs people on the arm etc.
That's just how he is.
He's not gay.
He's always got a new woman.
He's just a really nice guy who is touchy feely.
I suspect she's just an incredibly affectionate drunk and you're the only friend she trusts not to freak out about it when she gets a bit cuddly. Don't let her down. I'm sure you won't.
I think the sexuality chat sounds ideal given your closeness.
And happy birthday
Well we're both single pringles and have been for a while, but we're both pretty quick to notify eachother when there's a good looking guy on the approach.
Hahahaa, will do
Yeah that makes perfect sense, that probably is the case with my friend aswell I just wanted outside opinions.
Well that first option is very very very unlikely lol because I'm straight myself and she does know this but I suppose if there was any doubt in her mind that could be what she was thinking lol.
Yeah I do think after reading everyone's responses it probably is just that she's very affectionate when drunk, but it was helpful to see other people's viewpoints
Hi, no there isn't really. I have spoken to my friend since but it was really just discussing what a good weekend etc it was, I didn't bring up what went on at the night time so I've just left it for now. And thank you!