She'd have to do silent ones, I watched an episode the other day and Phil was really letting rip at Audrey letting rip, the one when she farts up the stairs, classic Chawner!
Mildly off-topic as ye're all discussing flatulence now, but here's a thought I had re: Phil's oft mentioned grinning when talking about getting his leg removed.
In the years I've been ill and nobody could figure out why, I was commonly misjudged as being hypochodriac, mentally ill, hormonal or just plain dramatic. It was a huge relief to get my diagnosis not just because I was given meds for my symptoms but because I had visible evidence that I really was ill to counter any accusations of fakery. I think Phil's got the same idea, a visible sign of invalidity will supposedly show the world he's in a really bad way and not just self-inflicting his bad health.
Likewise, a friend of mine with epiliepsy uses said epilepsy to convince herself she can't do anything that's too difficult. Once you get it into your head that trying something could make you feel worse and cause you pain (in Chawner's case, lugging all that weight around during even mild exercise must be painful) you go to huge lengths to avoid it. That said, I have another friend who is paralysed down the whole right side of her body and it doesn't stop her doing anything.
Also, there may be the grain of an idea that if Phil loses the leg then Emma may get Carer's Allowance for him and Sam for Audrey, then both girls are trapped in the house looking after them and they get more money.
For the sake of losing a leg he can 'prove' to the world how I'll he is and keep his daughters close. Also get sympathy from his daughters, urgh. It might even be oneupmanship, Audrey has epilepsy, if I lose a foot then I've won? I remember being sat in a waiting room one day and had to listen to two women basically bragging with each other over how many tablets they have to take and which one was ill'er.
In my mind though I think he'll have far more serious problems soon than his leg though. With his weight, diabetes and the sheer amount of salt he pours onto his rubbish filled sausages, he's a heart attack waiting to happen.
Where was Emma in the Opening Ceremony, I thought as they think they are our second Royal Family there would have been a part for her,was she disguised as one of the chimneys?
I think they have been invited to preside over the closing ceremony. After all, who wants to see the Spice Girls or Take That when the Chawners are available?
Or maybe they are competing for gold in the "Smart Price Sausage Scoffing" event?
I think they have been invited to preside over the closing ceremony. After all, who wants to see the Spice Girls or Take That when the Chawners are available?
Or maybe they are competing for gold in the "Smart Price Sausage Scoffing" event?
Or taking part in the 'Name your 5 a day' quiz.
Emma and Sam might be in the artistic gymnastics or the synchronised swimming, Audrey doing dressage on a cart horse and Phil in the weight lifting.
Or taking part in the 'Name your 5 a day' quiz.
Emma and Sam might be in the artistic gymnastics or the synchronised swimming, Audrey doing dressage on a cart horse and Phil in the weight lifting.
The OH and I are in bits imagining Aud doing Dressage and Phil in a Strongman costume!
I would have liked to have seem Emma parachuting out of the plane using her X Factor dress with the Queen and James Bond (Daniel Craig).
And then being carried in X-Factor style again with the men under her fearing for their own safety!
I can't be bothered logging back into FB, but I'm sure someone asked Sam a few weeks ago if she was going to be in the Olympics. I imagine her only participation is to fill the swimming pool with her tears every day!
Did anyone see the Samoan flag bearing in the opening ceremony? The Chawners are clearly living in the wrong country.
I think the Chawners should move to Samoa, except the main aspect of Samoa culture is said to be the togetherness they show in every aspect of life. This togetherness is the key in every family in Samoa.
The Chawners don't demonstrate togetherness, they all seem to hate each other, screeching and punching and swearing at whoever happens to be around at the time.
Also traditional Samoan food wouldn't be appreciated, if even a leaf of lettuce causes acid reflex and helicopter pylons:eek: Cooked breadfruit, taro, taro leaves, cooked green bananas and raw fish - where are the sausages?
I was watching the next episode last night on sky anytime and i never noticed last time that when the girls are doing their hair and Emma is doing Phil's he pokes her in her boob when she is arguing with Sam. Bleugh!!
Hahahahahahaha! God, she needs some eyebrow threading and a treadmill! I heard about her but have never watched her ranting, but easily deluded enough to be a relative of Phizzle!
They'll be watching the Olympics surely? Phil deluding himself enough into believing that he could do the gymnastics if it wasn't for the diabetes mucking things up for him
Hahahahahahaha! God, she needs some eyebrow threading and a treadmill! I heard about her but have never watched her ranting, but easily deluded enough to be a relative of Phizzle!
They'll be watching the Olympics surely? Phil deluding himself enough into believing that he could do the gymnastics if it wasn't for the diabetes mucking things up for him
Aud will be saying she would be competing in the dressage events if she'd kept up her equestrian activities, but the epilepsy and asthma and addiction to rubbish TV put paid to that.
Emma and Sam will be telling anyone that will listen that they were invited to take part in the opening ceremony but due to other commitments i.e: telling Take A Break about how they have been victimised all their lives for being fat and It Isn't Their Fault™, they had to decline.:(
Phils been sending me junk mail on twitter, he must have a virus, he will be chuffed as he will probably add it to his list of ailments.
Haha! hope it wasn't one of those viruses about those acai berries saying he lost 20 pounds in a day without any diet changes, that would add insult to injury!
hi twice green we all hope you are both well we have been busy been to London this week has the girls have had a photo shoot and a story to go in a magazine anymore videos on the way come on keep them coming we love them and we all love you both you are an inspiration and you are going a long way mike from the radio has sent me a link to what was said on the radio so thank you so much in everything you said you are two lovely girls and you are going to get on in life so thank you keep them coming we all love to meet you someday speak to you soon love to you both and your family and take care love Phil and family xxxxxx
Two things -
1. Phil Chawner is the only person in the universe who can't see Twice Green are having a tremendous laugh at his expense - and it's almost cruel, the way they have convinced him they are his greatest fans.
2. The girls are appearing in a magazine!:eek: Bet you all a Smart Price sausage it's not OK. My money is on Love It or Full House.
I'm amazed that he isn't green with envy that he's not having a photoshoot. Mind, thoughts of togas bring back very disturbing memories.
Doubt they're high profile enough for "Closer" though. I'm going over to the village shop, but I wont rifle through the magazines as they wont be moaning in them this week will they?
I truly have no idea about any of the magazines below the tat of OK and Heat. ( and yes, I occasionally buy Closer" if I'm bored )
1. Phil Chawner is the only person in the universe who can't see Twice Green are having a tremendous laugh at his expense - and it's almost cruel, the way they have convinced him they are his greatest fans.
2. The girls are appearing in a magazine!:eek: Bet you all a Smart Price sausage it's not OK. My money is on Love It or Full House.
I got out of breath just reading your transcript of Phil's posting on FB. Punctuation's a closed book to him isn't it? Mind you, one good thing, he seems to have learned learned how to use the old Spellchecker at last. Twice Green - what a laugh! And he laps it all up. What a Silly (Smart Price) sausage he is!
I'm amazed that he isn't green with envy that he's not having a photoshoot. Mind, thoughts of togas bring back very disturbing memories.
Doubt they're high profile enough for "Closer" though. I'm going over to the village shop, but I wont rifle through the magazines as they wont be moaning in them this week will they?
I truly have no idea about any of the magazines below the tat of OK and Heat. ( and yes, I occasionally buy Closer" if I'm bored )
There's zillions of them Tally, all like the Jeremy Kyle show in print - often featuring Grandmothers having affairs with friends of their grandson's, then finding out said toyboy is gay (usually at the altar) and other assorted true life stories.
I can't wait to see which one has decided to give their £250 fee to the Chawner girls for their tale of how Bio TV stitched them up with their bad editing, and how they have been victimised all their lives - bet you a Smart Price sausage there will be no mention of their recent conviction for the despicable bullying of an elderly neighbour.
Comments
In the years I've been ill and nobody could figure out why, I was commonly misjudged as being hypochodriac, mentally ill, hormonal or just plain dramatic. It was a huge relief to get my diagnosis not just because I was given meds for my symptoms but because I had visible evidence that I really was ill to counter any accusations of fakery. I think Phil's got the same idea, a visible sign of invalidity will supposedly show the world he's in a really bad way and not just self-inflicting his bad health.
Likewise, a friend of mine with epiliepsy uses said epilepsy to convince herself she can't do anything that's too difficult. Once you get it into your head that trying something could make you feel worse and cause you pain (in Chawner's case, lugging all that weight around during even mild exercise must be painful) you go to huge lengths to avoid it. That said, I have another friend who is paralysed down the whole right side of her body and it doesn't stop her doing anything.
Also, there may be the grain of an idea that if Phil loses the leg then Emma may get Carer's Allowance for him and Sam for Audrey, then both girls are trapped in the house looking after them and they get more money.
For the sake of losing a leg he can 'prove' to the world how I'll he is and keep his daughters close. Also get sympathy from his daughters, urgh. It might even be oneupmanship, Audrey has epilepsy, if I lose a foot then I've won? I remember being sat in a waiting room one day and had to listen to two women basically bragging with each other over how many tablets they have to take and which one was ill'er.
In my mind though I think he'll have far more serious problems soon than his leg though. With his weight, diabetes and the sheer amount of salt he pours onto his rubbish filled sausages, he's a heart attack waiting to happen.
Or maybe they are competing for gold in the "Smart Price Sausage Scoffing" event?
Or taking part in the 'Name your 5 a day' quiz.
Emma and Sam might be in the artistic gymnastics or the synchronised swimming, Audrey doing dressage on a cart horse and Phil in the weight lifting.
The OH and I are in bits imagining Aud doing Dressage and Phil in a Strongman costume!
And then being carried in X-Factor style again with the men under her fearing for their own safety!
I can't be bothered logging back into FB, but I'm sure someone asked Sam a few weeks ago if she was going to be in the Olympics. I imagine her only participation is to fill the swimming pool with her tears every day!
Both of them would have made brilliant Bulgarian or East German shot putters.
The Chawners don't demonstrate togetherness, they all seem to hate each other, screeching and punching and swearing at whoever happens to be around at the time.
Also traditional Samoan food wouldn't be appreciated, if even a leaf of lettuce causes acid reflex and helicopter pylons:eek: Cooked breadfruit, taro, taro leaves, cooked green bananas and raw fish - where are the sausages?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_Qrt1k8qHo
Is she a Chawn? She's certainly deluded enough. And the Bristol (?) accent? Phil's niece maybe?
It's Aud and Phil's 26th wedding anniversary today, I wonder how they are celebrating?
They are either a)watching telly or b)watching telly or maybe c)watching telly.:D
They'll be watching the Olympics surely? Phil deluding himself enough into believing that he could do the gymnastics if it wasn't for the diabetes mucking things up for him
Aud will be saying she would be competing in the dressage events if she'd kept up her equestrian activities, but the epilepsy and asthma and addiction to rubbish TV put paid to that.
Emma and Sam will be telling anyone that will listen that they were invited to take part in the opening ceremony but due to other commitments i.e: telling Take A Break about how they have been victimised all their lives for being fat and It Isn't Their Fault™, they had to decline.:(
http://londonist.com/2009/07/little_chef_keeps_olympic_breakfast.php
Sausages all round!!
Haha!
Two things -
1. Phil Chawner is the only person in the universe who can't see Twice Green are having a tremendous laugh at his expense - and it's almost cruel, the way they have convinced him they are his greatest fans.
2. The girls are appearing in a magazine!:eek: Bet you all a Smart Price sausage it's not OK. My money is on Love It or Full House.
I truly have no idea about any of the magazines below the tat of OK and Heat. ( and yes, I occasionally buy Closer" if I'm bored
I got out of breath just reading your transcript of Phil's posting on FB. Punctuation's a closed book to him isn't it? Mind you, one good thing, he seems to have learned learned how to use the old Spellchecker at last. Twice Green - what a laugh! And he laps it all up. What a Silly (Smart Price) sausage he is!
I can't wait to see which one has decided to give their £250 fee to the Chawner girls for their tale of how Bio TV stitched them up with their bad editing, and how they have been victimised all their lives - bet you a Smart Price sausage there will be no mention of their recent conviction for the despicable bullying of an elderly neighbour.