how to deal with jealousy

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  [Deleted User] Posts: 4,391

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  02/06/13 - 16:03 #2

  Tell her and get it off your chest.

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  PPhilster Posts: 1,742

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  02/06/13 - 17:20 #3

  bellatella wrote: »

  Hello
  I'm looking for some help. Because of circumstances I can't have children. I was ok with that untill my twinsister had a baby last year. I love the baby and my sister. But everytime I see them I get jealous. I don't no what to do with these emotions because I'm happy for them and I don't want to feel this way. So I'm trying to avoid them bacause I feel really emotional when I see them. I don't want that. I want to have a good relationsship with them. Does anyone have some tips for me?

  
  Adopt.

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  MarzBar85 Posts: 15,004

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  02/06/13 - 18:04 #4

  Odds are your sister will have noticed, and she will understand your feelings. Talk through with her.

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  shmisk Posts: 7,963

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  02/06/13 - 18:15 #5

  I have baby and pregnancy jealousy constantly and have no idea how to rid myself of it
  Does your sister know?

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  [Deleted User] Posts: 199

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  02/06/13 - 19:03 #6

  shmisk wrote: »

  I have baby and pregnancy jealousy constantly and have no idea how to rid myself of it
  Does your sister know?

  
  hi she does know. That is why she wants me to spend time with the baby. To make me feel part of their lives. She means it in a sweet way but she doesn't understand it's very difficult for me.

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  shmisk Posts: 7,963

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  02/06/13 - 19:37 #7

  You might have to tell her it's not working and you need some space
  I personally avoid all people with bumps and newborns as even if they have been understanding g before they seem to lose that quickly
  
  Are you close?

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  kittles Posts: 4,327

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  02/06/13 - 20:16 #8

  i can't have children either all though i would have liked them so i know how much it sucks
  
  i think you've done the first difficult thing by telling her and admitting that it's a problem.
  
  avoiding your sister and your niece/nephew seems really sad and i suspect that if it's that bad, you may want to think about talking to a counsellor about it.
  
  i mean do you plan to go through your whole life avoiding them? or or do you think it will it be better once the child is no longer a baby? bearing in mind of course that if you think you maybe OK once the baby is older, you may have hugely alienated and hurt your sister by not seeing her
  
  there are good online support groups for childless women and you may find it useful to go on to those and talk to other people in a similar situation
  
  http://gateway-women.com/
  
  i feel for you OP I really do x

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  pugamo Posts: 18,039

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  03/06/13 - 02:29 #9

  I think just like relationship jealousy, you must face your feelings head on and challenge them. Maybe you could try counselling to deal with your feelings about infertility. Perhaps like suggested above, you could consider adopting or alternative fertility treatments such as surrogacy.
  
  The more you avoid them though, the bigger and bigger this problem is going to become. Don't let it spiral out of control and let your health problems rob you of your sister and niece/nephew as well as a child of your own.

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