With only the thread information to go by, the guy sounds like a classic ‘control freak’, with little or no regard for the impact the dog will have on the ‘shared’ household.
I suspect other aspects of his controlling nature will emerge sooner rather than later.
It's the kind of thing that drunks do down the pub, isn't it?
Whilst I agree with the posts about animals not being bought as presents, I have to point out that it doesn't mean the sister is going to be a bad owner as some seem to believe on here. Perhaps she will feel forced to take care of him, but she might still do that well. Don't presume she won't take care of pup just because she didn't choose him.
The OP has already said that he knows she wouldn't get a dog of her own volition. And while I wouldn't discount her desire and ability to look after the dog well, her lifestyle and set up doesn't lend itself positively towards the dog being looked after. I'd be surprised if the dog was tolerated in a houseshare TBH.
Definitely irrisponsible. Did she mention if she'd ever told him she wanted a puppy? Perhaps she'd mentioned it in passing, possibly meaning later in life, and he's gone a bit over the top?
Either way, he should never have done it, dogs are meant to be part of your family, not just something to be flung at someone without proper consideration and the right circumstances.
Whilst I agree with the posts about animals not being bought as presents, I have to point out that it doesn't mean the sister is going to be a bad owner as some seem to believe on here. Perhaps she will feel forced to take care of him, but she might still do that well. Don't presume she won't take care of pup just because she didn't choose him.
She will probably love it and feed it etc but she lives in a rented shared house. For a start, puppies inevitably chew the house to bits in the early days, people wont like that, the landlord certainly wont like that. Unless she is about to purchase her own place, she will continue needing to rent and move about, thats the nature of rented accommodation which is fine if you dont have pets because not only are you subjecting them to a lot of change, many landlords dont allow pets which will limit her choices.
Unless someone chooses to have a pet, especially dogs who are high maintenance, they wont have thought about the full ins and outs of the dogs need
She will probably love it and feed it etc but she lives in a rented shared house. For a start, puppies inevitably chew the house to bits in the early days, people wont like that, the landlord certainly wont like that. Unless she is about to purchase her own place, she will continue needing to rent and move about, thats the nature of rented accommodation which is fine if you dont have pets because not only are you subjecting them to a lot of change, many landlords dont allow pets which will limit her choices.
Unless someone chooses to have a pet, especially dogs who are high maintenance, they wont have thought about the full ins and outs of the dogs need
I agree that it's totally irresponsible to buy a puppy for someone without their agreement, but if the girlfriend says she wants to keep it, how do we know she is not going to adjust her life? She may find other living arrangements, or have someone who can look after it if she needs to study etc.
By the way, it is not inevitable that her home will be chewed to bits. I've had 3 dogs and currently have a puppy and my house has never been chewed to bits. Perhaps the odd table leg has some teeth marks, but it can be managed with proper training.
Also to refer to your earlier post, it is not inevitable that the dog will end up being dumped or have a lack of walks. That's what I was getting at in my earlier post. You are making a lot of assumptions!
I was thinking the same thing. People are making a lot of assumptions!
I don't think you can blame us. There are too many horrible stories of animals being bought as presents and then being neglected or abandoned. Damn right I'm going to be judgemental when it comes to this issue.
Regarding advice, my advice to you would be that you have voiced your concerns and continuing to voice them will only cause friction between your family. Keep an eye on your sister, make sure you don't lose contact with her, and if the dog ever needs rehomed, support her to find an excellent new forever home for it.
there's always one who, without any context or knowledge oft he relationship, will try and pain the man as a control freak etc...
Have you read the OP’s thread starter, and subsequent posts properly?
You probably didn’t notice that in my post I was very careful to say ‘With only the thread information to go by’ ; I stand by my comment that the guys behaviour, at best, appears ‘needy’ and at worst is ‘controlling’.
You quote my ‘post’ as a ‘typical internet comment.’. Then yes, it is typical as it suits this type of ‘behaviour’.
Controlling personality’s do indeed exhibit ‘typical’ behaviour; and it’s very corrosive.
By all means, have a go at my posts if you don’t agree. You are perfectly entitled to do so, but at the very least, please add something quantifiable at the same time.... not just ‘Meh....’
Back-ground sniping at other members ‘posts’ is of little or no value to the OP, whose question is, after all, on the ‘Advice’ forum.
However, the main body of this thread appears to have become a debate on how the dog can best be cared for, which I guess was not really the motivating factor that lead the OP to start the thread initially.
She will probably love it and feed it etc but she lives in a rented shared house. For a start, puppies inevitably chew the house to bits in the early days, people wont like that, the landlord certainly wont like that. Unless she is about to purchase her own place, she will continue needing to rent and move about, thats the nature of rented accommodation which is fine if you dont have pets because not only are you subjecting them to a lot of change, many landlords dont allow pets which will limit her choices.
Unless someone chooses to have a pet, especially dogs who are high maintenance, they wont have thought about the full ins and outs of the dogs need
Again, you are presuming the worst. I am well aware of what it takes to look after a dog, or any animal, and if I'd had one given I'd ensure I took upmost care of it, whether I wanted it or not. I see far too many dogs come into the shelter because of owners that DID want a dog who now won't continue looking after it for numerous reasons (too boisterous/too needy/separation problems/cost). I also see the ones who take on a dog because a family member has died, they don't want ad of, but do it out of duty and are often great owners. I am not saying he sister is automatically going to be the best owner, but the means by which became an owner are irrelevant, she is either a good owner or bad owner - and that wouldn't change if shed chosen the dog for herself.
As for the renting comment, I find that rather strange. I live in private rented accommodation and have live at the same address for 5 years, the house before that was 7 years - renting doesn't mean moving about every few month.
Comments
It's the kind of thing that drunks do down the pub, isn't it?
The OP has already said that he knows she wouldn't get a dog of her own volition. And while I wouldn't discount her desire and ability to look after the dog well, her lifestyle and set up doesn't lend itself positively towards the dog being looked after. I'd be surprised if the dog was tolerated in a houseshare TBH.
Either way, he should never have done it, dogs are meant to be part of your family, not just something to be flung at someone without proper consideration and the right circumstances.
She will probably love it and feed it etc but she lives in a rented shared house. For a start, puppies inevitably chew the house to bits in the early days, people wont like that, the landlord certainly wont like that. Unless she is about to purchase her own place, she will continue needing to rent and move about, thats the nature of rented accommodation which is fine if you dont have pets because not only are you subjecting them to a lot of change, many landlords dont allow pets which will limit her choices.
Unless someone chooses to have a pet, especially dogs who are high maintenance, they wont have thought about the full ins and outs of the dogs need
Meh, typical internet comment.
there's always one who, without any context or knowledge oft he relationship, will try and pain the man as a control freak etc...
I agree that it's totally irresponsible to buy a puppy for someone without their agreement, but if the girlfriend says she wants to keep it, how do we know she is not going to adjust her life? She may find other living arrangements, or have someone who can look after it if she needs to study etc.
By the way, it is not inevitable that her home will be chewed to bits. I've had 3 dogs and currently have a puppy and my house has never been chewed to bits. Perhaps the odd table leg has some teeth marks, but it can be managed with proper training.
Also to refer to your earlier post, it is not inevitable that the dog will end up being dumped or have a lack of walks. That's what I was getting at in my earlier post. You are making a lot of assumptions!
I don't think you can blame us. There are too many horrible stories of animals being bought as presents and then being neglected or abandoned. Damn right I'm going to be judgemental when it comes to this issue.
Have you read the OP’s thread starter, and subsequent posts properly?
You probably didn’t notice that in my post I was very careful to say ‘With only the thread information to go by’ ; I stand by my comment that the guys behaviour, at best, appears ‘needy’ and at worst is ‘controlling’.
You quote my ‘post’ as a ‘typical internet comment.’. Then yes, it is typical as it suits this type of ‘behaviour’.
Controlling personality’s do indeed exhibit ‘typical’ behaviour; and it’s very corrosive.
By all means, have a go at my posts if you don’t agree. You are perfectly entitled to do so, but at the very least, please add something quantifiable at the same time.... not just ‘Meh....’
Back-ground sniping at other members ‘posts’ is of little or no value to the OP, whose question is, after all, on the ‘Advice’ forum.
However, the main body of this thread appears to have become a debate on how the dog can best be cared for, which I guess was not really the motivating factor that lead the OP to start the thread initially.
Again, you are presuming the worst. I am well aware of what it takes to look after a dog, or any animal, and if I'd had one given I'd ensure I took upmost care of it, whether I wanted it or not. I see far too many dogs come into the shelter because of owners that DID want a dog who now won't continue looking after it for numerous reasons (too boisterous/too needy/separation problems/cost). I also see the ones who take on a dog because a family member has died, they don't want ad of, but do it out of duty and are often great owners. I am not saying he sister is automatically going to be the best owner, but the means by which became an owner are irrelevant, she is either a good owner or bad owner - and that wouldn't change if shed chosen the dog for herself.
As for the renting comment, I find that rather strange. I live in private rented accommodation and have live at the same address for 5 years, the house before that was 7 years - renting doesn't mean moving about every few month.