I introduced two of my friends, they hooked up and later got married.....they both ditched me Both too insecure to deal with a friend who knew their respective partners history.
It was a slow death and I spent a long time trying to figure out what I had done so I would advise a bit of honesty OP.
Why do you need to break away? As others have said you can have more than one friend.
I wouldn't ditch someone deliberately unless they had done something mean. You never know, in th future you might be grateful to have this person as your friend.
I introduced two of my friends, they hooked up and later got married.....they both ditched me Both too insecure to deal with a friend who knew their respective partners history.
It was a slow death and I spent a long time trying to figure out what I had done so I would advise a bit of honesty OP.
Oh no really? When did things start to get sour? Did you ever confront them?
He isn't my son and I remarried so which wive do you mean :D
The first one (the gobby narrator):) ...... but never mind all that, you murdered poor old Martha Huber with her own blender as I recall. ....... actually you did the world a favour there.
"Potential new best friend" sounds horribly clinical. Is there an interview process?
Group interview first, with role play and team building exercises, then the short listed candidates get a one-to-one interview. The successful candidate then gets a contract for 3 months, which will be renewable on a monthly basis thereafter, as long as all 'best friend' criteria are met.
Oh no really? When did things start to get sour? Did you ever confront them?
I had known her 16 years and him 2 years....the distancing began immediately and I just figured they wanted to spend lots of time together so didn't twig. Over a period of two years she blew hot and cold and he remained friendly but stopped making direct contact. It finally blew up two years later when I was away with her and two other female friends. She accused me of talking too much, saying I talked about 'Wednesdays'
When pressed I discovered she was referring to a woman he saw casually 6 months before they got together when my friend was still on her 20 odd year relationship and there was no indication she would get together with my male friend. It seems I mentioned that this woman had seen him on a Wednesday (I mentioned it at the time and had never mentioned it since) and it was only then I realised what her beef was....there were some other similarly bizarre grievances she aired.
I did write to her trying to fix things and she responded saying she was really pleased I had written but didn't have time to respond but would in a few days. She never did.
It was a horrible time because I didn't figure out what the problem was until two years had passed. It would have been easier to cope with if she had just been honest in the first place instead of blowing hot and cold for two years.
The first one (the gobby narrator):) ...... but never mind all that, you murdered poor old Martha Huber with her own blender as I recall. ....... actually you did the world a favour there.
Well I hope you liked my comeback when I tried to turn that neighborhood into a cesspit of crime :cool:
Group interview first, with role play and team building exercises, then the short listed candidates get a one-to-one interview. The successful candidate then gets a contract for 3 months, which will be renewable on a monthly basis thereafter, as long as all 'best friend' criteria are met.
Trying to carry on your own joke when others stopped talking about it... oh dear
No quotes about your hilarious attempt at comedy at someone else's expense.
I had known her 16 years and him 2 years....the distancing began immediately and I just figured they wanted to spend lots of time together so didn't twig. Over a period of two years she blew hot and cold and he remained friendly but stopped making direct contact. It finally blew up two years later when I was away with her and two other female friends. She accused me of talking too much, saying I talked about 'Wednesdays'
When pressed I discovered she was referring to a woman he saw casually 6 months before they got together when my friend was still on her 20 odd year relationship and there was no indication she would get together with my male friend. It seems I mentioned that this woman had seen him on a Wednesday (I mentioned it at the time and had never mentioned it since) and it was only then I realised what her beef was....there were some other similarly bizarre grievances she aired.
I did write to her trying to fix things and she responded saying she was really pleased I had written but didn't have time to respond but would in a few days. She never did.
It was a horrible time because I didn't figure out what the problem was until two years had passed. It would have been easier to cope with if she had just been honest in the first place instead of blowing hot and cold for two years.
I had a great friend who did the exact same thing to me, still o explanation as to why. Despite obessing over a friend that just uses her all the time :rolleyes:
Why do you feel the need to make a big deal out of it? As others have said, just naturally drift apart, gradually contact each other less and gradually arrange to meet one another less often. Before you know it, you're no longer "best friends" (if you ever were given this thread).
The thread says it all really, our common interests have changed among other things and I have new friends, maybe even a potential new best friend.
I don't know how you feel about it. But it might be that even though you know you are both drifting apart, that you don't want it to? And why would you really...
The trouble is letting it naturally drift apart, no hard feelings, no ceremony... Just let it happen.
The trouble might be that either one of both of you, despite probably knowing its drifting, are trying to keep a hold of the friendship. You probably feel that you both have less in common, you may find that both your attitudes towards things have changed. Not being available all the time to do things etc will eventually help you both gradually move on.
Why do you feel the need to make a big deal out of it? As others have said, just naturally drift apart, gradually contact each other less and gradually arrange to meet one another less often. Before you know it, you're no longer "best friends" (if you ever were given this thread).
I don't know how you feel about it. But it might be that even though you know you are both drifting apart, that you don't want it to? And why would you really...
The trouble is letting it naturally drift apart, no hard feelings, no ceremony... Just let it happen.
The trouble might be that either one of both of you, despite probably knowing its drifting, are trying to keep a hold of the friendship. You probably feel that you both have less in common, you may find that both your attitudes towards things have changed. Not being available all the time to do things etc will eventually help you both gradually move on.
Thank you for the constructive advice. A normal person lives on DS. No sniping, just advice. Thanks again.
Don't worry, when you move up to big school you will probably be in different classes and drift apart naturally. That will save you from having to tell him you can't be his best friend any more.
On a more serious note, you don't actually have to break away from him, just let it take its course naturally.
Personally, I think it's a bit mean if you were to drop him suddenly. Do you really not get on with him anymore? You haven't said why you want to make the break.
I think i would make the effort to keep the friendship going. You never know, in a few years time you may be grateful to have a friend like him in your life.
I had a friend who I knew well enough to be invited to her wedding in Cape Town. Just a select few went. However she wasn't my closest friend, nor me hers.
Anyway she moved to Europe, but still worked out of the UK (cabin crew) asked could she stay occasionally, but not often as she had loads of people to stay with.
Not only did she never stay with anyone else, she moaned if my house wasn't tidy, and always made comments about how untidy it was (it wasn't that bad!). I stayed at her house in Europe once, and wasn't made to feel welcome.
The final straw came when, while I was staying at hers, she presented me a list of dates she would be staying at mine next; extended stays as she wanted to visit friends! However it would be the last time as she'd got a job locally.
On the spot, I said I'd check my calendar when I got home. Never contacted her again.
I never heard back from her for 18 months. I thought that was because she had a new job and didn't need to stay anymore.
No, she contacted again; she'd actually taken unpaid leave, was back flying again, and was it okay to stay?
I never replied. Cowardly I know but I was beyond caring.
It worked for me. Give the silent treatment a go.
By coming on here making an issue of something so trivial. You don't need to have a big flounce and end a friendship. As others have said, just let nature take its course and the friendship drift apart.
Don't worry, when you move up to big school you will probably be in different classes and drift apart naturally. That will save you from having to tell him you can't be his best friend any more.
On a more serious note, you don't actually have to break away from him, just let it take its course naturally.
Personally, I think it's a bit mean if you were to drop him suddenly. Do you really not get on with him anymore? You haven't said why you want to make the break.
I think i would make the effort to keep the friendship going. You never know, in a few years time you may be grateful to have a friend like him in your life.
Well I have a big family and loads have left for Uni or jobs etc. So my brother and cousin who are still here for example now call round more and I have found I like spending time with them plus their friends.
My friend lays on the guilt when I won't just spend my spare time with just him and his friends. It has become tiresome.
By coming on here making an issue of something so trivial. You don't need to have a big flounce and end a friendship. As others have said, just let nature take its course and the friendship drift apart.
It is an advice forum, you don't pick and choose what type of advice is made. You choose what ones to comment on... twice.
Comments
It was a slow death and I spent a long time trying to figure out what I had done so I would advise a bit of honesty OP.
Haha thanks, but no. My friends are actually my friends.
I wouldn't ditch someone deliberately unless they had done something mean. You never know, in th future you might be grateful to have this person as your friend.
He isn't my son and I remarried so which wive do you mean
Oh no really? When did things start to get sour? Did you ever confront them?
Oh no it's Kane off Eastenders.
The first one (the gobby narrator):) ...... but never mind all that, you murdered poor old Martha Huber with her own blender as I recall.
He's the dude off Kung Fu.
I had known her 16 years and him 2 years....the distancing began immediately and I just figured they wanted to spend lots of time together so didn't twig. Over a period of two years she blew hot and cold and he remained friendly but stopped making direct contact. It finally blew up two years later when I was away with her and two other female friends. She accused me of talking too much, saying I talked about 'Wednesdays'
When pressed I discovered she was referring to a woman he saw casually 6 months before they got together when my friend was still on her 20 odd year relationship and there was no indication she would get together with my male friend. It seems I mentioned that this woman had seen him on a Wednesday (I mentioned it at the time and had never mentioned it since) and it was only then I realised what her beef was....there were some other similarly bizarre grievances she aired.
I did write to her trying to fix things and she responded saying she was really pleased I had written but didn't have time to respond but would in a few days. She never did.
It was a horrible time because I didn't figure out what the problem was until two years had passed. It would have been easier to cope with if she had just been honest in the first place instead of blowing hot and cold for two years.
Well I hope you liked my comeback when I tried to turn that neighborhood into a cesspit of crime :cool:
Trying to carry on your own joke when others stopped talking about it... oh dear
No quotes about your hilarious attempt at comedy at someone else's expense.
I had a great friend who did the exact same thing to me, still o explanation as to why. Despite obessing over a friend that just uses her all the time :rolleyes:
I'd be very mad if your user name wasn't so darn sexy :eek:
Its easy to see why you have an abundance of new friendships
Or even potential ones
I don't know how you feel about it. But it might be that even though you know you are both drifting apart, that you don't want it to? And why would you really...
The trouble is letting it naturally drift apart, no hard feelings, no ceremony... Just let it happen.
The trouble might be that either one of both of you, despite probably knowing its drifting, are trying to keep a hold of the friendship. You probably feel that you both have less in common, you may find that both your attitudes towards things have changed. Not being available all the time to do things etc will eventually help you both gradually move on.
Wow, how am I making a "big deal out of it".
Why thank you.
Thank you for the constructive advice. A normal person lives on DS. No sniping, just advice. Thanks again.
On a more serious note, you don't actually have to break away from him, just let it take its course naturally.
Personally, I think it's a bit mean if you were to drop him suddenly. Do you really not get on with him anymore? You haven't said why you want to make the break.
I think i would make the effort to keep the friendship going. You never know, in a few years time you may be grateful to have a friend like him in your life.
Anyway she moved to Europe, but still worked out of the UK (cabin crew) asked could she stay occasionally, but not often as she had loads of people to stay with.
Not only did she never stay with anyone else, she moaned if my house wasn't tidy, and always made comments about how untidy it was (it wasn't that bad!). I stayed at her house in Europe once, and wasn't made to feel welcome.
The final straw came when, while I was staying at hers, she presented me a list of dates she would be staying at mine next; extended stays as she wanted to visit friends! However it would be the last time as she'd got a job locally.
On the spot, I said I'd check my calendar when I got home. Never contacted her again.
I never heard back from her for 18 months. I thought that was because she had a new job and didn't need to stay anymore.
No, she contacted again; she'd actually taken unpaid leave, was back flying again, and was it okay to stay?
I never replied. Cowardly I know but I was beyond caring.
It worked for me. Give the silent treatment a go.
By coming on here making an issue of something so trivial. You don't need to have a big flounce and end a friendship. As others have said, just let nature take its course and the friendship drift apart.
Well I have a big family and loads have left for Uni or jobs etc. So my brother and cousin who are still here for example now call round more and I have found I like spending time with them plus their friends.
My friend lays on the guilt when I won't just spend my spare time with just him and his friends. It has become tiresome.
It is an advice forum, you don't pick and choose what type of advice is made. You choose what ones to comment on... twice.
Excellent idea