Saying goodbye to family home
In a weeks time we hand over the keys to the new people moving into my family home and I'm getting a bit anxious / upset about the idea of leaving and wondered if anyone had any tips or experiences to share?
For the last 5 years I've been mainly based at my boyfriends parents house 5 minutes down the road but since Febuary decided to make the most of the house and live there. So moved all of my things in and made it feel like home. I really regret this now as I had grown distant emotionally to the house but have now become attached which is making the idea of moving harder.
I will be moving back into my boyfriends parents house although my Mum is going to be "homeless" staying with relatives until a new house is found. We were only given 6 weeks notice to leave so it's been quite rushed.
I have to drive past the house everyday to get to work, go to zumba opposite it and my best friend lives in the road next to it, other family members live very close (you can see the house from the garden of one) I'm not looking forward to having to see it and know I can't ever go in it again. So I think this is going to be tough.
I'm also having a hard time sorting out things to throw away. Space is very limited at my boyfriends parents house so I have to get rid of a lot. I've come to realise I might be a bit of a hoarder!!! I'm being good and have thrown a lot of things out but I don't enjoy it.
My Mum is also very stressed and having to deal with the move alone as my Dad works abroad and has been useless in the two weeks he's been back and goes again this Friday. He's not done a single thing to help. My brother does his best but he's 18 and spends most of his time when he's not working recovering / sleeping off a hangover.
My Mum doesn't seem to accept that I might be struggling with the move because she feels so unhappy and has had so much to do. I feel bad for feeling anxious compared to what she is going through and don't feel I can talk to her about it.
I've not slept over night there for 3 weeks in the hope I will start seeing my boyfriends parents as home. Everything is in such a mess though with trying to pack every thing in it's not working right now.
I've got a lot on at the moment and on the final day before it goes I won't be able to say goodbye - which might be for the best because I think I'll end up crying!
Anyone else been through a similar experience?
For the last 5 years I've been mainly based at my boyfriends parents house 5 minutes down the road but since Febuary decided to make the most of the house and live there. So moved all of my things in and made it feel like home. I really regret this now as I had grown distant emotionally to the house but have now become attached which is making the idea of moving harder.
I will be moving back into my boyfriends parents house although my Mum is going to be "homeless" staying with relatives until a new house is found. We were only given 6 weeks notice to leave so it's been quite rushed.
I have to drive past the house everyday to get to work, go to zumba opposite it and my best friend lives in the road next to it, other family members live very close (you can see the house from the garden of one) I'm not looking forward to having to see it and know I can't ever go in it again. So I think this is going to be tough.
I'm also having a hard time sorting out things to throw away. Space is very limited at my boyfriends parents house so I have to get rid of a lot. I've come to realise I might be a bit of a hoarder!!! I'm being good and have thrown a lot of things out but I don't enjoy it.
My Mum is also very stressed and having to deal with the move alone as my Dad works abroad and has been useless in the two weeks he's been back and goes again this Friday. He's not done a single thing to help. My brother does his best but he's 18 and spends most of his time when he's not working recovering / sleeping off a hangover.
My Mum doesn't seem to accept that I might be struggling with the move because she feels so unhappy and has had so much to do. I feel bad for feeling anxious compared to what she is going through and don't feel I can talk to her about it.
I've not slept over night there for 3 weeks in the hope I will start seeing my boyfriends parents as home. Everything is in such a mess though with trying to pack every thing in it's not working right now.
I've got a lot on at the moment and on the final day before it goes I won't be able to say goodbye - which might be for the best because I think I'll end up crying!
Anyone else been through a similar experience?
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My mum was already in her new place when the old house was sold. It was heartbreaking seeing the place empty, though. My folks had owned it since the 60's but times change and folk move on.
I try to avoid driving past the place if I can as the new owners are not the brightest bunch and they've had a Sky dish slapped on the front of the house right under the stone date plaque so it looks a right mess. They had other options of where to put it, too (they tried having it installed before the actual completion date)...
Yes the sorting out can be stressful.
I bet that was even harder to say goodbye too! That's a long time to have a home in the family. We've only owned it for 10 years and we were in the last house for 10 years before that. I'm 25 now.
I have to drive past the house before this most days too (my parents seems to love main roads!) and it makes me annoyed that they got rid of a nice long bush and replaced it with a horrible green latice fence that faces the road. It had collapsed about 5 years ago and they only repaired it recently.
Last night I had a dream that Mum was moving next door to that old house. I have never dreamed about this family home only the older one.
Did anything help you make it easier?
That's really sad (sorry to make you write about it!) I could avoid driving past because there is a longer way round but it would make very little sense to take a 20 minute journey instead of a 5 minute journey for zumba. Do you think if you forced yourself to drive past it eventually you might feel better?
There are lots of happy memories, life event memories and also very tough and sad memories in the house. When I was upset I tried to think of the bad memories but it made it worse so I'm avoiding that now!
I think it's also tough because the new house doesn't have room for me. Which is fine, I didn't expect there to be I'm old enough to get my own place but it still feels like a safety net is being taken away slightly?
As orangebird and tellywatcher have said: Things will get easier with time, but it'll never completely disappear, and look to the future.
As long as you're moving forward with things, remembering the good and bad of the past can't hurt. It's folk who get stuck wallowing in the past who can end up unhappy with their lot...
I only lived in one house for 22 years......then my parents sold as it was too big........new owners knocked it down and built a HUGE house on top - too big for the plot IMO. So many memories of growing up there but now all gone. Don't know why but I get all choked up thinking of it.
I remember sitting in the front room the day before I handed over the keys to the estate agent. The house was empty of furniture but full of years of memories, some happy, some sad.
I moved into my present house in 1996 and at first I was soooooo homesick. I wanted to go back home (which of course was impossible) and I hated my new home and did not feel I would ever settle here.
However, 6 months later I began to feel more settled.....and now 17 years on this house feels as much home as my previous home.
I rarely pass my previous home, but when I do I have no real longing for the place....just a smile of happy family memories, now gone.
We move on in life......it is how it is.:)
Less than a week to go now. My room looks like such a tip I have no idea how in 3 days it will look completely empty. I bought a clothes vacuum bag with the idea the massive mound of clothes can be hidden somewhere.
My Dad left this morning for his job abroad. He has done nothing, not cleared or packed a thing! My mum said could he pack his clothes and he replied just throw them away. It doesnt help. Kind of adds to my upset. But not much I can do now
I know what you mean. Although we moved family home when I was about 14 or 15, and it had been 20 odd years since we lived there, it was still our "old house" and I still used to drive past quite often but then a few months ago it was bulldozed as part of a new road scheme. It was quite strange to drive past one day to find everything had gone - gardens, trees, everything. In fact I actually had difficulty to try and identify where it even was and then that set me thinking that apart from Google street maps there are no memories of what it even looked like...
My family moved to Billericay in Essex when I was five. I lived there until I was 18yrs old and my parents continued to live there until last year. It had been the 'family home ' for 34yrs.
My parents have moved to be nearer to me, so it was bitter sweet. I was happy that I would be able to see them more often, but I have many memories of the old house. I went to see them the month before they moved and said my goodbyes. I went into every room, even the bedrooms which I haven't walked into for years. They felt sooo small. My childhood room in my head was enormous ... but in reality it was little more than a box room.