Without getting into this too much my current meds have boosted my confidence somewhat but been something of a passion killer. I might be passionate about meeting the right woman or sex or company but not much else right now. That might sound like an odd thing to say though. Too obvious?
In the sense of trying to explain how you feel in general, it's not odd at all, but if you're going to go in to speed dating and tell someone you're not passionate about anything then yes, it probably is a little odd.
I think you have to look at it as not quite "passion" but "enthusiastic" or "really like". I suppose the idea is that if you're trying to get to know someone, they want to know what you're in to and if they are also in to it or find it interesting.
I could say i'm "passionate" about writing scripts because i've had two films made out of them, but i'm probably not really as I don't do it all the time and only really do it when i've got an idea i think might work.
But again, I think you've got to move away from the idea of having the 'perfect' answer ready for each question and just go with what you feel is relevant and honest.
Without getting into this too much my current meds have boosted my confidence somewhat but been something of a passion killer. I might be passionate about meeting the right woman or sex or company but not much else right now. That might sound like an odd thing to say though. Too obvious?
Please don't take this the wrong way but have you thought you might be putting the cart before the horse here? In a way I know how you feel because I was hurt by a couple of breakups within a couple of years and it got to me hating being single so much that I felt I just wanted to meet *anyone* to get off the roundabout. That's what led me into online dating even though I swore I'd never do that, but a few months of that convinced me that anyone will *not* do, it's all very artificial and clinical.
I would consider speed dating as a bit of fun, but I'm getting from your posts that it wouldn't actually turn out to be much fun for you and might make you feel worse. If you have no interest in anything, you're not going to be an interesting date for anyone.
Have you seen www.meetup.com? I'm not advertising it, someone recommended it when I started a thread about evening classes. It seems to be the sort of thing that has replaced evening classes as a nice social outlet for those of us who feel too old for clubs, or maybe not confident enough or whatever. They are groups of people who meet up to pursue a common interest. If you say you don't feel you have any interests, why not go through the site and see if it gives you ideas of things you could get into? You'd be amazed, there seem to be meetup groups for everything in every town and city! Im really sure you would find something - you may not like the first one you go to, but you're not signing some long term contract, you could just pick a different meetup group and go to that instead. As long as you've got an interest in the subject and aren't faking it to hit on women, you might find that women come to you as a fellow member of the group and want to discuss aspects of that interest - the interaction then doesn't become fixated on 'dating', but has a focus that's far more likely to bring about a good friendship and maybe a relationship of the type you want. And youmight learn about something new, which would make you a more confident person who has got lots more to talk about than what is or isn't in your past.
Hope you don't mind the advice, just reading more of your posts I'm not sure speed dating is for you just yet. If it's just sex you're after I'm sure there are websites and clubs you could go to for that - admittedly it's easier for a single woman to 'scratch that itch' if we get desperate lol, but the internet seems to cater for anything these days. But either way, make up your own mind about speed dating, but my advice is well meant
There are a couple of Meetups I'd like to try out in the autumn, if I meet someone fantastic who also likes me, great, but if I meet just lots of new friends and share a common interest, then just as good. And the bigger your circle of friends, the more chance you might meet a single friend of a friend who might be right for you
I could say i'm "passionate" about writing scripts because i've had two films made out of them, but i'm probably not really as I don't do it all the time and only really do it when i've got an idea i think might work.
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I hate that new use of the word 'passionate' to be honest , it's the new buzzword in employment. All the job descriptions say 'you will be passionate about customer service', 'you will be passionate about accounts procedures', 'you will be passionate about floor coverings' lol, for some rubbishy £8 an hour admin job on an industrial estate I blame the Apprentice, its the sort of thing they say on there!
If this speed dating group is using the word 'passionate' on its site, it would put me off to be honest, I probably wouldn't go on principle!
I hate that new use of the word 'passionate' to be honest , it's the new buzzword in employment. All the job descriptions say 'you will be passionate about customer service', 'you will be passionate about accounts procedures', 'you will be passionate about floor coverings' lol, for some rubbishy £8 an hour admin job on an industrial estate I blame the Apprentice, its the sort of thing they say on there!
If this speed dating group is using the word 'passionate' on its site, it would put me off to be honest, I probably wouldn't go on principle!
I suppose literally being passionate about customer service could lead to some rather unfortunate misunderstandings
I was in Tesco's this afternoon and walked past a pretty lady browsing the shelves. It convinced me to try speed dating when I get the chance. Never know, I could meet someone like her.
Unfortunately as of next week I'll be without a job. I guess I'll just have to blag it.
Well I went and did it yesterday so I thought I'd just come back and let people know what happened.
Hmmm. Curious evening and only 10 dates - I was hoping for up to 20 but that would have been a bit knackering. In terms of attractiveness it was your standard cross section of women. There were a couple I'm thinking of giving a yes to but I'm not sure. The first lady was very nice but not sure if I just want to tick her as friend or date. The second was a slightly eccentric barrister who to likes to drink heavily at the weekend and to be honest seemed like she'd had a few during the event. I have to admit though that I was attracted to her.
Well I went and did it yesterday so I thought I'd just come back and let people know what happened.
Hmmm. Curious evening and only 10 dates - I was hoping for up to 20 but that would have been a bit knackering. In terms of attractiveness it was your standard cross section of women. There were a couple I'm thinking of giving a yes to but I'm not sure. The first lady was very nice but not sure if I just want to tick her as friend or date. The second was a slightly eccentric barrister who to likes to drink heavily at the weekend and to be honest seemed like she'd had a few during the event. I have to admit though that I was attracted to her.
Comments
In the sense of trying to explain how you feel in general, it's not odd at all, but if you're going to go in to speed dating and tell someone you're not passionate about anything then yes, it probably is a little odd.
I think you have to look at it as not quite "passion" but "enthusiastic" or "really like". I suppose the idea is that if you're trying to get to know someone, they want to know what you're in to and if they are also in to it or find it interesting.
I could say i'm "passionate" about writing scripts because i've had two films made out of them, but i'm probably not really as I don't do it all the time and only really do it when i've got an idea i think might work.
But again, I think you've got to move away from the idea of having the 'perfect' answer ready for each question and just go with what you feel is relevant and honest.
Please don't take this the wrong way but have you thought you might be putting the cart before the horse here? In a way I know how you feel because I was hurt by a couple of breakups within a couple of years and it got to me hating being single so much that I felt I just wanted to meet *anyone* to get off the roundabout. That's what led me into online dating even though I swore I'd never do that, but a few months of that convinced me that anyone will *not* do, it's all very artificial and clinical.
I would consider speed dating as a bit of fun, but I'm getting from your posts that it wouldn't actually turn out to be much fun for you and might make you feel worse. If you have no interest in anything, you're not going to be an interesting date for anyone.
Have you seen www.meetup.com? I'm not advertising it, someone recommended it when I started a thread about evening classes. It seems to be the sort of thing that has replaced evening classes as a nice social outlet for those of us who feel too old for clubs, or maybe not confident enough or whatever. They are groups of people who meet up to pursue a common interest. If you say you don't feel you have any interests, why not go through the site and see if it gives you ideas of things you could get into? You'd be amazed, there seem to be meetup groups for everything in every town and city! Im really sure you would find something - you may not like the first one you go to, but you're not signing some long term contract, you could just pick a different meetup group and go to that instead. As long as you've got an interest in the subject and aren't faking it to hit on women, you might find that women come to you as a fellow member of the group and want to discuss aspects of that interest - the interaction then doesn't become fixated on 'dating', but has a focus that's far more likely to bring about a good friendship and maybe a relationship of the type you want. And youmight learn about something new, which would make you a more confident person who has got lots more to talk about than what is or isn't in your past.
Hope you don't mind the advice, just reading more of your posts I'm not sure speed dating is for you just yet. If it's just sex you're after I'm sure there are websites and clubs you could go to for that - admittedly it's easier for a single woman to 'scratch that itch' if we get desperate lol, but the internet seems to cater for anything these days. But either way, make up your own mind about speed dating, but my advice is well meant
There are a couple of Meetups I'd like to try out in the autumn, if I meet someone fantastic who also likes me, great, but if I meet just lots of new friends and share a common interest, then just as good. And the bigger your circle of friends, the more chance you might meet a single friend of a friend who might be right for you
I hate that new use of the word 'passionate' to be honest , it's the new buzzword in employment. All the job descriptions say 'you will be passionate about customer service', 'you will be passionate about accounts procedures', 'you will be passionate about floor coverings' lol, for some rubbishy £8 an hour admin job on an industrial estate
If this speed dating group is using the word 'passionate' on its site, it would put me off to be honest, I probably wouldn't go on principle!
I suppose literally being passionate about customer service could lead to some rather unfortunate misunderstandings
Unfortunately as of next week I'll be without a job. I guess I'll just have to blag it.
Hmmm. Curious evening and only 10 dates - I was hoping for up to 20 but that would have been a bit knackering. In terms of attractiveness it was your standard cross section of women. There were a couple I'm thinking of giving a yes to but I'm not sure. The first lady was very nice but not sure if I just want to tick her as friend or date. The second was a slightly eccentric barrister who to likes to drink heavily at the weekend and to be honest seemed like she'd had a few during the event. I have to admit though that I was attracted to her.
Hope you can find a suitable lady friend
She sounds fantastic you lucky git! ^_^
Only problem is I've not been in a great mood the last week since losing my job. I'll just have to treat it as a bit of fun and no expectations.