Deep seated family issues
SoliloquyOSound
Posts: 111 Forum Member
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I need some advice on whether Christmas is a good time to get these out in the open. I know it should be a peaceful time but its the only time we all get together.
What do you think?
What do you think?
0
Comments
It depends how much this is bothering you though and whether you will be able to get through Christmas without saying anything.
Go for it, as long as you don't mind the rest of your family hating you for ruining everybody elses Christmas. If you decide to do this be aware that you will probably come off worse even if you are in the right about the issues because you'll be the one causing trouble and ruining everyone elses day.
You might want to bring it up but in all likelihood the other people there won't appreciate it so dont' expect them to thank you.
I guess you are right. No point in going through life seething with resentment, eh.
I know that the reality isn't always like this but do you really want to be the one who sets it off?
I think my sister wants to hear it though
Oooh, go on. Tell us what it is then.
Then the pair of you can sound off to each other to your heart's content.
You say it is the only time you are all together, but surely no one is forcing you to be there. It especially doesnt make sense to be there if you are "seething with resentment."
It's a bit late in the day now, but next Christmas make arrangements to do your own thing.
I would have suggested you find time to get together with your own family during 2011 so you are able to clear the air in a manner that won't be unnecessarily upsetting for anyone. But what's the point? I'm not buying the "only time we all get together" excuse, sorry; if the matter was that important to you all, you would make the time.
On Xmas day though? Are you sure? If it was something that desperately terrible surely you wouldn't be spending Xmas day with whoevers done this terrible thing.
The fact that you are makes me think that you might be making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill and it's not something really ruining Christmas for.
Write a letter, with your sisters input if necessary and send it after Xmas.
Hear what? Is it your sister you are upset with or is it something like her husband is playing away?
What about the issue in question. That has been remembered for years after it happened, but its not bothered them one jot. D'you see what I'm saying?
No, can't see what you are saying. Sorry
I am sure people are keen to help but you are talking in riddles. A vague idea of the nature of the issue would help.
May I ask why you are even going to spend Christmas with people who you feel have ignored your feelings for years? You don't have to put yourself through that, especially as the outcome is unlikely to be a positive one.
Somethng happened years ago and everyone knows what it was no one was bothered by it. Why do you think they'd be bothered now, if you raised it?
The saying 'Let Sleeping Dogs Lie' spring to mind.
Why dig up the past, when nobody is bothered about it?
I am spending christmas with them because they are my family.
What does that mean?
I'm just alluding to general DS users who think they are better than the rest
That's a rather cynical view for someone with all of 25 posts to their name.
So why ask DS users for advice if that's what you think of them? :rolleyes:
ah yes, but i have lurked for eons
just so they don't hit me with the self righteousness. I'm sure they'll find another wa\y now though