We did similar, and it is definitely a sanity saver! Another thing we did is that he would get up early on Saturdays and let me have a lie-in, and then I would do Sundays.
I'm getting extremely jealous, I've only ever had two lie ins and they lasted 1 hour at most and i basically had to force my oh to wake up and beg him to take the baby. I'm breastfeeding so I don't get any help with night feeds. Only a couple more months until the first birthday so hopefully he starts sleeping through the night to save my sanity.
I'm getting extremely jealous, I've only ever had two lie ins and they lasted 1 hour at most and i basically had to force my oh to wake up and beg him to take the baby. I'm breastfeeding so I don't get any help with night feeds. Only a couple more months until the first birthday so hopefully he starts sleeping through the night to save my sanity.
My ex wife earned more than me so I just took a year off and did everything. A meal when she got home, a G&T and long bath whilst I fed, bathed and put her down. She slept all night whilst I did the night feeds - a teaspoon of sherry really does help!
Not wanting to make you feel even more jealous of course.
My ex wife earned more than me so I just took a year off and did everything. A meal when she got home, a G&T and long bath whilst I fed, bathed and put her down. She slept all night whilst I did the night feeds - a teaspoon of sherry really does help!
Not wanting to make you feel even more jealous of course.
Rub it in why don't you. I'm back to work soon so there better be a quick change in the childcare duties.
I'm getting extremely jealous, I've only ever had two lie ins and they lasted 1 hour at most and i basically had to force my oh to wake up and beg him to take the baby. I'm breastfeeding so I don't get any help with night feeds. Only a couple more months until the first birthday so hopefully he starts sleeping through the night to save my sanity.
I feel for you! I breastfed my first for 11.5 month, went back to work when he was 6 months old so it was a long 5.5 months of exhaustion/being in a daze! I ended up sending him to my mums for a few days as he just wouldn't wean off the boob when he was with me. He came back not wanting boob and sleeping 12 whole hours in his own bed. It then took me a further month to get used to all the sleep!
OP I've just given birth to my second, I was totally unprepared for this one. Had to pull my socks up 8weeks ago and get sorted. It'll all come together in the end... As long as they're dressed, with clean a bum, have somewhere to sleep and can eat (get a back up plan if your OH is planning to breast feed... Just in case) then you'll be ok. Has she finished work yet? I didn't do anything until i started my maternity leave!
When my first borns mum was was pregnant I was 20 and 21 when he was born. I intensely read many books (internet was bare minimum and not helpful back then.) I asked all the questions and went to all the classes/visits.
I was fully prepared... then the moment my son was born tears just streamed down my eyes like a tap. It's not even remotely close to the tears you cry when sad, laughing or cutting an onion... at that moment I realised nothing or no one on this planet can ever prepare you for the reality. Up until then you are an armchair or back-seat parent. :-)
I
My ex was like at the birth. Big fst tears dfipping on to out daughter, couldn't speak for emotion. It was lovely!
Will your partner be breastfeeding or bottle feeding? I'm topping up with formula and I find the perfect prep machine to be a godsend!
I agree with stocking up on babygrows and vests for the first few months. My daughter has just grown out of newborn sizes and she only has a handful of 0-3 babygrows. Good job my sister kept all of my nieces clothes! Outfits are lovely and all but you will rarely put the baby in them at that stage.
Buy some infacol, plenty of wet wipes and nappies (Aldi do great nappies and wipes). I use the muslin cloths all the time too so would recommend some of them.
You can get good prams secondhand of you want to save some money. We bought our travel system new but got the carrycot secondhand from eBay (£25 instead of £115!)
Besides one outfit after the 20 weeks scan, I didn't actually buy any baby clothes! I relied on people buying for the baby shower (I had every intention of then topping up on what I needed but I never got around to it). I didn't pack my hospital bag until I was 36 weeks and I didn't buy a changing bag until after the baby was born.
Will your partner be breastfeeding or bottle feeding? I'm topping up with formula and I find the perfect prep machine to be a godsend!
I agree with stocking up on babygrows and vests for the first few months. My daughter has just grown out of newborn sizes and she only has a handful of 0-3 babygrows. Good job my sister kept all of my nieces clothes! Outfits are lovely and all but you will rarely put the baby in them at that stage.
Buy some infacol, plenty of wet wipes and nappies (Aldi do great nappies and wipes). I use the muslin cloths all the time too so would recommend some of them.
You can get good prams secondhand of you want to save some money. We bought our travel system new but got the carrycot secondhand from eBay (£25 instead of £115!)
Besides one outfit after the 20 weeks scan, I didn't actually buy any baby clothes! I relied on people buying for the baby shower (I had every intention of then topping up on what I needed but I never got around to it). I didn't pack my hospital bag until I was 36 weeks and I didn't buy a changing bag until after the baby was born.
I got my carrycot second hand off eBay too... No way was I paying £115 for something that'll be used for a few weeks! Especially when you pay so much for the actual pushchair, colour pack (what the hell is that all about? Just give me a hood on my pushchair you tight gits) and a car seat!
My bag was half packed at 36 weeks and then I finished it off the night before I went into hospital!
I'm also topping up with formula, I've not got my easy prep out of the box just yet though... I'm desperate to use it but doesn't seem worth it for one bottle a day. Will see how we go with the breast feeding before I make a decision on whether to get it out or sell it!
We had a 3 in 1 travel system, we found it too bulky, Had a separate pushchair and travel seat in the end. With pram, if you get an umbrella folding, it takes a lot less space but you don't get storage under the seat. If money is tight, look for second hand. We found loads virtually new and half the price, but not for the car seat unless you know 110% that its not been involved in an accident.
My mrs used a standard backpack when going out rather that change bag. Also be careful with baby carriers, there is some evidence to indicate it could affect the hips, better off with a sling.
Cot wise, we had one with a floor that could be set to different heights. Useful as we had it set up next to the bed with the side down for the first two weeks and it was the same height as the bed. Made night time breastfeeding easier.
Also found baby monitor a bit useless, didn't bother using it second time round and no problems.
There was tons of other stuff that we definitely didn't need.
I was possibly the most unprepared mother of all (apart from those ones that don't know they're pregnant until it pops out when they're on the loo!). I had one pack of baby clothes (those packs from mothercare with 3 vests, 3 babygros and a hat!), and a moses basket. The basket wasn't set up and the clothes were at my Mum's; she had to bring them to the hosp whilst OH went home, washed the basket linen and made it up!
Again not superstitious but didn't want to tempt fate (my baby brother never made it home from hospital).
I've never owned a pram (and still don't with baby no 2 - she's 1 next week). I bought an OBaby pushchair when baby 1 was around 5 months old for about £60, and still using it for baby 2. I don't do much "walking about", at the supermarket the car seat just went on the trolley, and apart from that I just carried the car sear about with her in it, or carried her in my arms. I wanted a sling this time round, but just never got round to getting one.
If you (well not literally you OP!) are planning to breastfeed do not buy any bottles - you are setting yourself up to fail. Buy a couple of the little cartons of ready-made formula if you want to, and if you need to use them try to cup feed if you can; the little dosing cups that come with cough medicine are ideal for a newborn
Personally I can't abide "cheap" nappies, and would go with pampers or huggies every time. Though I will say Boots ones are much nicer/better than the other non-branded alternatives. ASDA and Aldi nappies are exactly the same, just different colour trimmings. Tesco ones are worst of all. Disposable changing mats can be really handy, especially if you're out and about. I've never bothered with a proper changing mat, even at home, but you can get some handy towelling covers for them in Ikea, come in packs of 2.
If your baby gets nappy rash get some Metatanium cream - much better than Sudocreme.
But most importantly:
You've already had a baby so may well know this but if your baby has been fed, changed, winded and is still unhappy then wind them again. And again. About 90% of small-baby-unhappiness is caused by wind, and an extra 10 minutes spent winding your baby could mean an extra few hours of unbroken sleep.....honestly.
Supermarkets are good for cheap baby stuff as well. We got all our vests and babygrows from them, £5 for 5 vests, £8 for 3 babygrows, etc. They also often have deals on things like nappies and wipes.
We also bought a cot that you could adjust and also take one of the sides completely off and use as a bed. Think it was about £30 from IKEA.
We also paid out about £15 for a bin with bag 'cartridges that twist and seal dirty nappies when you drop them in, but to be honest it wasn't any better than tying them up in normal nappy bags so not really worth it.
We had a 3 in 1 travel system, we found it too bulky, Had a separate pushchair and travel seat in the end. With pram, if you get an umbrella folding, it takes a lot less space but you don't get storage under the seat. If money is tight, look for second hand. We found loads virtually new and half the price, but not for the car seat unless you know 110% that its not been involved in an accident.
My mrs used a standard backpack when going out rather that change bag. Also be careful with baby carriers, there is some evidence to indicate it could affect the hips, better off with a sling.
Cot wise, we had one with a floor that could be set to different heights. Useful as we had it set up next to the bed with the side down for the first two weeks and it was the same height as the bed. Made night time breastfeeding easier.
Also found baby monitor a bit useless, didn't bother using it second time round and no problems.
There was tons of other stuff that we definitely didn't need.
Boldy bits agreed 100%. Baby monitor makes you feel better, but definitely not essential. If you do want one, look for 2nd hand.
If the baby isn't been breastfed the best thing you can possibly buy is a Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep machine. It gets a bottle made and to the exact temperature in about a minute. It's amazing, especially for night feeds. They're not cheap but retain their value and can be sold on for a decent price, ours got snapped up.
Get in a routine, I was at work so I did any feeds up until midnight and my wife did any after then.
Get your baby in a good routine for bedtime too, don't have him sleeping in your room for too long, get him into his own room asap and don't keep picking him up at every little sound. Ours was sleeping through after about 8 weeks and we'd just put him down and he'd be straight to sleep. He's 15 months now and he goes straight to bed and we don't hear a peep from him all night.
We share lie-ins too. If we've not got plans for the weekend I have a Saturday lie-in and my wife has a Sunday lie-in. If either of us is out individually on Friday or Saturday night then whoever went out gets the lie-in the next day. If we're out together then we keep track and take it in turns as to who has the lie-in.
Another vote here for the Perfect Prep machine - best thing I've ever bought.
We bought our pram a couple of months before my daughter was due. We were given a moses basket and changing mat so had them ready. I only bought a pair of cute rabbit booties as we were given so many clothes by people (bloody child kept taking the booties off so never really wore them in the end ).
I don't think we actually bought any nappies until we got home from hospital which is quite bad really!
Our baby is due at the end of August.
Have you ever had a baby and not been fully prepared very early on?
We're only just about to start preparing. We've moved house, location and for my partner, work.
We've had a lot more than most to deal with but even if we strolled to this stage we'd never have got things too early.
What did you buy and when?
I already have a baby... he's 17 so it feels as much a first time for me as it does for my partner, she's never been pregnant before.
Exciting times..
Excited for you .
Am guessing you were very young when you had your son so this will be very different, you have life experience and maturity that you would not have had 17 years ago.
My main advice would be to remember at all times that you have been through this before but your partner has not. The first few weeks after giving birth can be overwhelming for a new mother so you have to tread a fine line between using your experience to support her and making her feel inadequate because you know what you are doing and she doesn't.
In terms of what a baby needs well it's just the basics, to be loved, cared for and nurtured. You can easily get drawn into the whole baby consumable market and feel you have to have purchased everything new and every gadget under the sun but in reality you don't. If I could turn the clock back I would have bought a lot of stuff for the first 6 months second hand as babies use them for such a short period they don't wear out, so you can save yourselves a fortune buying second hand. If your partner is agreeable go to a local NCT sale, stock up on good quality clothes and equipment at knock down prices that you will only use for a short period and invest the money saved on purchasing the equipment you need for 6 months plus when they will really get the use out if it.
You have said you have had a lot of disruption in your partners pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my first child both my father and grandfather died, we moved house, had an extension built and were burgled. It felt to me like everytime I tried to concentrate on my unborn child something happened to get in the way of that and this definitely affected my mental preparations for what was a life changing experience. I think your role as a dad should be to try and minimise the impact on your partner of other disruptive things going on around her. Show her you are in control of them! so all she needs to do is concentrate on your baby. I firmly believe relaxed mum = relaxed baby.
I wish you all the best for the birth of your child and those first months afterwards. Remember, you don't have to set yourselves unrealistic targets to be the best parents ever, you just have to be good enough. Enjoy xxxxx
I found the NCT second-hand sales fantastically useful, as they only sell stuff that's up to a certain standard, although the competition to get hold of a pram from those is fierce!
I also found scouring the charity shops for babygro's and other baby clothes very useful, as well as toys and baby books, bought my favourite baby item (a wonderful all-in-one) from the Scope shop and for only 50p!
Don't buy the all-singing, all-dancing pushchair just because it looks cool.... your OH may find herself using the bus more than she thinks (if she doesn't already) and getting one on there, in the limited space on there, can be a big issue, as can foldability for the car. I had a great, rather narrow, 3-in-1 pushchair (where the car-seat fits into the pushchair to make it a pram), Mothercare's own branded. Lasted until Jr was old enough to go into a flimsy el-cheapo foldable light pushchair. I passed it on afterwards, it got a lot of use!
I wasn't prepared for my daughter being nearly a month early, didn't have the pushchair bought or anything and had to go and buy one our first day out of hospital.
Comments
Netflix or lots of boxsets to get you through those long nights
I'm getting extremely jealous, I've only ever had two lie ins and they lasted 1 hour at most and i basically had to force my oh to wake up and beg him to take the baby. I'm breastfeeding so I don't get any help with night feeds. Only a couple more months until the first birthday so hopefully he starts sleeping through the night to save my sanity.
My ex wife earned more than me so I just took a year off and did everything. A meal when she got home, a G&T and long bath whilst I fed, bathed and put her down. She slept all night whilst I did the night feeds - a teaspoon of sherry really does help!
Not wanting to make you feel even more jealous of course.
I feel for you! I breastfed my first for 11.5 month, went back to work when he was 6 months old so it was a long 5.5 months of exhaustion/being in a daze! I ended up sending him to my mums for a few days as he just wouldn't wean off the boob when he was with me. He came back not wanting boob and sleeping 12 whole hours in his own bed. It then took me a further month to get used to all the sleep!
OP I've just given birth to my second, I was totally unprepared for this one. Had to pull my socks up 8weeks ago and get sorted. It'll all come together in the end... As long as they're dressed, with clean a bum, have somewhere to sleep and can eat (get a back up plan if your OH is planning to breast feed... Just in case) then you'll be ok. Has she finished work yet? I didn't do anything until i started my maternity leave!
My ex was like at the birth. Big fst tears dfipping on to out daughter, couldn't speak for emotion. It was lovely!
I agree with stocking up on babygrows and vests for the first few months. My daughter has just grown out of newborn sizes and she only has a handful of 0-3 babygrows. Good job my sister kept all of my nieces clothes! Outfits are lovely and all but you will rarely put the baby in them at that stage.
Buy some infacol, plenty of wet wipes and nappies (Aldi do great nappies and wipes). I use the muslin cloths all the time too so would recommend some of them.
You can get good prams secondhand of you want to save some money. We bought our travel system new but got the carrycot secondhand from eBay (£25 instead of £115!)
Besides one outfit after the 20 weeks scan, I didn't actually buy any baby clothes! I relied on people buying for the baby shower (I had every intention of then topping up on what I needed but I never got around to it). I didn't pack my hospital bag until I was 36 weeks and I didn't buy a changing bag until after the baby was born.
I got my carrycot second hand off eBay too... No way was I paying £115 for something that'll be used for a few weeks! Especially when you pay so much for the actual pushchair, colour pack (what the hell is that all about? Just give me a hood on my pushchair you tight gits) and a car seat!
My bag was half packed at 36 weeks and then I finished it off the night before I went into hospital!
I'm also topping up with formula, I've not got my easy prep out of the box just yet though... I'm desperate to use it but doesn't seem worth it for one bottle a day. Will see how we go with the breast feeding before I make a decision on whether to get it out or sell it!
My mrs used a standard backpack when going out rather that change bag. Also be careful with baby carriers, there is some evidence to indicate it could affect the hips, better off with a sling.
Cot wise, we had one with a floor that could be set to different heights. Useful as we had it set up next to the bed with the side down for the first two weeks and it was the same height as the bed. Made night time breastfeeding easier.
Also found baby monitor a bit useless, didn't bother using it second time round and no problems.
There was tons of other stuff that we definitely didn't need.
I was possibly the most unprepared mother of all (apart from those ones that don't know they're pregnant until it pops out when they're on the loo!). I had one pack of baby clothes (those packs from mothercare with 3 vests, 3 babygros and a hat!), and a moses basket. The basket wasn't set up and the clothes were at my Mum's; she had to bring them to the hosp whilst OH went home, washed the basket linen and made it up!
Again not superstitious but didn't want to tempt fate (my baby brother never made it home from hospital).
I've never owned a pram (and still don't with baby no 2 - she's 1 next week). I bought an OBaby pushchair when baby 1 was around 5 months old for about £60, and still using it for baby 2. I don't do much "walking about", at the supermarket the car seat just went on the trolley, and apart from that I just carried the car sear about with her in it, or carried her in my arms. I wanted a sling this time round, but just never got round to getting one.
If you (well not literally you OP!) are planning to breastfeed do not buy any bottles - you are setting yourself up to fail. Buy a couple of the little cartons of ready-made formula if you want to, and if you need to use them try to cup feed if you can; the little dosing cups that come with cough medicine are ideal for a newborn
Personally I can't abide "cheap" nappies, and would go with pampers or huggies every time. Though I will say Boots ones are much nicer/better than the other non-branded alternatives. ASDA and Aldi nappies are exactly the same, just different colour trimmings. Tesco ones are worst of all. Disposable changing mats can be really handy, especially if you're out and about. I've never bothered with a proper changing mat, even at home, but you can get some handy towelling covers for them in Ikea, come in packs of 2.
If your baby gets nappy rash get some Metatanium cream - much better than Sudocreme.
But most importantly:
You've already had a baby so may well know this but if your baby has been fed, changed, winded and is still unhappy then wind them again. And again. About 90% of small-baby-unhappiness is caused by wind, and an extra 10 minutes spent winding your baby could mean an extra few hours of unbroken sleep.....honestly.
Have fun.....:D
We also bought a cot that you could adjust and also take one of the sides completely off and use as a bed. Think it was about £30 from IKEA.
We also paid out about £15 for a bin with bag 'cartridges that twist and seal dirty nappies when you drop them in, but to be honest it wasn't any better than tying them up in normal nappy bags so not really worth it.
Boldy bits agreed 100%. Baby monitor makes you feel better, but definitely not essential. If you do want one, look for 2nd hand.
LOL!
Get in a routine, I was at work so I did any feeds up until midnight and my wife did any after then.
Get your baby in a good routine for bedtime too, don't have him sleeping in your room for too long, get him into his own room asap and don't keep picking him up at every little sound. Ours was sleeping through after about 8 weeks and we'd just put him down and he'd be straight to sleep. He's 15 months now and he goes straight to bed and we don't hear a peep from him all night.
We share lie-ins too. If we've not got plans for the weekend I have a Saturday lie-in and my wife has a Sunday lie-in. If either of us is out individually on Friday or Saturday night then whoever went out gets the lie-in the next day. If we're out together then we keep track and take it in turns as to who has the lie-in.
Another vote here for the Perfect Prep machine - best thing I've ever bought.
We bought our pram a couple of months before my daughter was due. We were given a moses basket and changing mat so had them ready. I only bought a pair of cute rabbit booties as we were given so many clothes by people (bloody child kept taking the booties off so never really wore them in the end
I don't think we actually bought any nappies until we got home from hospital which is quite bad really!
Excited for you
Am guessing you were very young when you had your son so this will be very different, you have life experience and maturity that you would not have had 17 years ago.
My main advice would be to remember at all times that you have been through this before but your partner has not. The first few weeks after giving birth can be overwhelming for a new mother so you have to tread a fine line between using your experience to support her and making her feel inadequate because you know what you are doing and she doesn't.
In terms of what a baby needs well it's just the basics, to be loved, cared for and nurtured. You can easily get drawn into the whole baby consumable market and feel you have to have purchased everything new and every gadget under the sun but in reality you don't. If I could turn the clock back I would have bought a lot of stuff for the first 6 months second hand as babies use them for such a short period they don't wear out, so you can save yourselves a fortune buying second hand. If your partner is agreeable go to a local NCT sale, stock up on good quality clothes and equipment at knock down prices that you will only use for a short period and invest the money saved on purchasing the equipment you need for 6 months plus when they will really get the use out if it.
You have said you have had a lot of disruption in your partners pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my first child both my father and grandfather died, we moved house, had an extension built and were burgled. It felt to me like everytime I tried to concentrate on my unborn child something happened to get in the way of that and this definitely affected my mental preparations for what was a life changing experience. I think your role as a dad should be to try and minimise the impact on your partner of other disruptive things going on around her. Show her you are in control of them! so all she needs to do is concentrate on your baby. I firmly believe relaxed mum = relaxed baby.
I wish you all the best for the birth of your child and those first months afterwards. Remember, you don't have to set yourselves unrealistic targets to be the best parents ever, you just have to be good enough. Enjoy
they`re having a boy.
That's nice.
I think you've confused babies with mogwii....
My youngset is still in nappies. He 23. I don't think he needs them, he's just a huge pervert...
I found the NCT second-hand sales fantastically useful, as they only sell stuff that's up to a certain standard, although the competition to get hold of a pram from those is fierce!
I also found scouring the charity shops for babygro's and other baby clothes very useful, as well as toys and baby books, bought my favourite baby item (a wonderful all-in-one) from the Scope shop and for only 50p!
Don't buy the all-singing, all-dancing pushchair just because it looks cool.... your OH may find herself using the bus more than she thinks (if she doesn't already) and getting one on there, in the limited space on there, can be a big issue, as can foldability for the car. I had a great, rather narrow, 3-in-1 pushchair (where the car-seat fits into the pushchair to make it a pram), Mothercare's own branded. Lasted until Jr was old enough to go into a flimsy el-cheapo foldable light pushchair. I passed it on afterwards, it got a lot of use!
I wasn't prepared for my daughter being nearly a month early, didn't have the pushchair bought or anything and had to go and buy one our first day out of hospital.