Plenty of fish website - any good?

[Deleted User] · 23/04/13 - 04:17

I joined up to plenty of fish a few months back just out of intrigue but have only just got around to updating my profile/adding a pic etc and so only now am starting to use it. Has anyone ever had any luck with the site? I am getting a lot of messages but mainly from men that appear to be a little weird!!! I did get chatting to one guy but he seems to have disappeared from the site now. I went to my conversations to reply to his message but the whole conversation has now disappeared - does this mean he has blocked me, admin have deleted his account? I noticed how guys that messaged me in the past that are now deleted users their messages are still there but under 'deleted user'. So I am a bit confused! Anyway, any thoughts on this website would be appreciated!

ff999 · 23/04/13 - 04:29

OP, you might want to find the eHarmony thread.
There's been much discussion there about various different dating websites, and lots of helpful advice and posters. It's very friendly thread.

[Deleted User] · 23/04/13 - 04:43

ff999 wrote: »

OP, you might want to find the eHarmony thread.
There's been much discussion there about various different dating websites, and lots of helpful advice and posters. It's very friendly thread.

many thanks, shall head over to that thread!

LaceyLouelle3 · 23/04/13 - 04:59

Used it almost all last year, had a good few dates. No one overly odd, just someone who got very drunk. Probably not the best place to meet someone in my experience, not for anything serious anyway.

Zenton · 23/04/13 - 05:11

PoF is a free to use site. So expect lots of losers and misfits to use it. I used it and was very succesful in meeting many woman, most of whom were just one night stands as they were unsuitable longterm partner potential.

If you are serious about dating join a reputable dating site were a membership is required, you've seen them advertised on the television. As you need a membership for the big dating sites it rules out the unemployed, single parents and those with mental illnesses (they dont have the surplus cash to join) and you have a better chance of meeting someone special.

Bex_123 · 23/04/13 - 05:16

Zenton wrote: »

As you need a membership for the big dating sites it rules out the unemployed, single parents and those with mental illnesses (they dont have the surplus cash to join) and you have a better chance of meeting someone special.

There are so many things that could be said in reply to this.

I am going to settle for "oh dear".

Zenton · 23/04/13 - 05:21

Bex_123 wrote: »

There are so many things that could be said in reply to this.

I am going to settle for "oh dear".

This is from my experience of using dating sites for at least 2 years. How many dating sites have you used and for how long?

Theres so many single parents with 3-4 children from different fathers, substance abusers, people from cults, those with mental illnesses on those sites. I should know as I've met them all and know how many there are.

Prove to me that you know otherwise from YOUR expereince

[Deleted User] · 23/04/13 - 05:30

It's not the best. One guy I met turned out to be married and another guy I spoke to threatened to kill himself because I didnt want to meet up! :eek: If you're looking for a one night stand then it's great, otherwise I'd give it a miss. They are always banning people which may be the reason for the deleted users, someone told me why but I can't remember what they said now.

Bex_123 · 23/04/13 - 05:31

This is from my experience of using dating sites for at least 2 years. How many dating sites have you used and for how long?

Theres so many single parents with 3-4 children from different fathers, substance abusers, people from cults, those with mental illnesses on those sites. I should know as I've met them all and know how many there are.

Prove to me that you know otherwise from YOUR expereince

I actually was agreeing with you initially. Plenty of Fish is known for attracting people who are maybe not 100% serious or interested in anything more than a casual thing, although I do know two people who met their partners on it. It's not the best dating website.

The "oh dear" was that you appeared to be implying that unemployed people, single parents and those with mental illnesses are somehow not worthy of being 'someone special'.

That's a rather huge amount of people you are pigeon-holing there.

copthis1 · 23/04/13 - 12:30

Try grannyslappers, plenty to choose from on there.

Another one is localslags

scottie2121 · 23/04/13 - 13:33

Bex_123 wrote: »

There are so many things that could be said in reply to this.

I am going to settle for "oh dear".

Agreed.

[Deleted User] · 23/04/13 - 14:54

I have had an account there for years which I hardly used. This year I decided to try a bit harder and have been doing pretty well. You just have to learn what is genuine and be prepared to have a few dud dates. It's the fun of dating and makes great stories, so not all is lost and at least you are making an effort (I didn't try too hard for quite a few months, and eventually realized men weren't going to come knock on my door, had to go out looking to find them)

Anyway, I am now dating someone for a couple months I met on POF and I am really happy with him. He didn't come across great on his messages but I chalked it up to French being his first language. Decided to meet him anyway and was shocked how gorgeous he was in person, his pictures didn't do him justice. And a nice, decent guy to boot. So it can work and we've both deleted our profiles, first time I have done that after for someone . . .

A few things that have worked for me:
1 - be very clear in your profile what you are looking for - I said I was not interested in anyone with a complicated relationship or social history, and that I was looking for someone to impress me, stating that sending a one sentence message would not get them anywhere, I wanted them to make an effort. I had a few guys message me to say I sounded scary, but to be honest, I wasn't bothered as it meant the ones I focused on were the ones who liked that I was firm on what I wanted. (and to note, all three men I've dated this year from that site have been professional, solvent men, nothing weird, etc, so I had a pretty good pool to pick from by announcing my 'rules' from the outset!)
2 - ask quickly what they want and flush them out a bit - bring this up in person as well and pay attention to whether their answers match or make sense!
3 - I've given my number out pretty quickly (although not too much personal info that could locate me otherwise) - I do this because it becomes more personal communicating through the phone than to a computer, so you can better detect if someone is real or not
4 - I don't usually wait so long to move on to the physical, but with men I've met online I do wait longer, so don't give it up too quickly
5 - Don't make the first date too big of a deal. A couple drinks is all I do, as I enjoy that as a rule, and at least you have a way out, not like dinner or some big night out where you feel obligated to stick around if it's not working. The big dates can come later when you know it's someone you want to spend some time with. I should also add that above when I said they should impress me, I was clear that promises of champagne dinners, etc would not, that what excited me personally was a good personality, intellect and manners.
6 - Be honest with your pictures and put up a variety - I can't stress this enough!

Meeting anyone online is always tricky business, so I don't think it's fair to say it's just this site. I was on a paid site quite a few years ago but gave up after being stood up four times in a row by men I thought were genuine (this is when I decided to use the phone a bit more, although I stopped using that site then!)

It will work, just think of it like a project that you have to put in effort to complete. And above all, have fun with it, bad date stories are the best!

gulliverfoyle · 23/04/13 - 15:08

Zenton wrote: »

This is from my experience of using dating sites for at least 2 years. How many dating sites have you used and for how long?

Theres so many single parents with 3-4 children from different fathers, substance abusers, people from cults, those with mental illnesses on those sites. I should know as I've met them all and know how many there are.

Prove to me that you know otherwise from YOUR expereince

I have to agree the free ones are not very good

speaking as a man a lot of the women are time waster/messers

I think a lot are in bad relationships and are just looking for a ego boost

I found it very hard to get them to to on a actusal date so I had a 2 week rule from 1st contact to date

had some dates and couple were ok but didnt work out for me

tghe-retford · 23/04/13 - 15:13

Bex_123 wrote: »

The "oh dear" was that you appeared to be implying that unemployed people, single parents and those with mental illnesses are somehow not worthy of being 'someone special'.

That's a rather huge amount of people you are pigeon-holing there.

I did have a couple of people on this forum whom did suggest that those with anxiety (like myself with social anxiety) were both incapable of receiving and giving love. Needless to say, I questioned them on their viewpoint.

Bex_123 · 23/04/13 - 16:15

tghe-retford wrote: »

I did have a couple of people on this forum whom did suggest that those with anxiety (like myself with social anxiety) were both incapable of receiving and giving love.

No love for you! (And me, technically.)

I just hope you're not a single parent too, shock horror, as then you might as well give up. :cool:

Vast_Girth · 23/04/13 - 16:47

My friend met his now wife on POF, so it can definitely work.

michaelalanr · 23/04/13 - 17:57

It does work. I met a lady on there three years ago (went on our 1st date on the 18th of April) and were getting married in 14 weeks!

But it was after being on the day in, day out messaging people and getting some right bunny boilers messaging me! I suppose where you live has an impact on how many other users there are around you.

Mike

[Deleted User] · 23/04/13 - 18:05

I have used it and met some nice guys - think Zenton is being very harsh and inaccurate! I actually had more success on there than on match.com or stupid eharmony that asks you 100,000 irrelevant questions! as long as you go in with your eyes open/use common sense and think of each date as meeting a friend then see how things develop from there. I wouldn't dismiss it but would use caution with some guys, just cause it's free

[Deleted User] · 24/04/13 - 03:50

Thanks for everyones responses. Interesting to hear positive and negative feedback. I think I am a little disheartened as I was enjoying chatting to a guy on there and then he disappeared but I shall give the site another go!

Handers wrote: »

I have had an account there for years which I hardly used. This year I decided to try a bit harder and have been doing pretty well. You just have to learn what is genuine and be prepared to have a few dud dates. It's the fun of dating and makes great stories, so not all is lost and at least you are making an effort (I didn't try too hard for quite a few months, and eventually realized men weren't going to come knock on my door, had to go out looking to find them)

Anyway, I am now dating someone for a couple months I met on POF and I am really happy with him. He didn't come across great on his messages but I chalked it up to French being his first language. Decided to meet him anyway and was shocked how gorgeous he was in person, his pictures didn't do him justice. And a nice, decent guy to boot. So it can work and we've both deleted our profiles, first time I have done that after for someone . . .

A few things that have worked for me:
1 - be very clear in your profile what you are looking for - I said I was not interested in anyone with a complicated relationship or social history, and that I was looking for someone to impress me, stating that sending a one sentence message would not get them anywhere, I wanted them to make an effort. I had a few guys message me to say I sounded scary, but to be honest, I wasn't bothered as it meant the ones I focused on were the ones who liked that I was firm on what I wanted. (and to note, all three men I've dated this year from that site have been professional, solvent men, nothing weird, etc, so I had a pretty good pool to pick from by announcing my 'rules' from the outset!)
2 - ask quickly what they want and flush them out a bit - bring this up in person as well and pay attention to whether their answers match or make sense!
3 - I've given my number out pretty quickly (although not too much personal info that could locate me otherwise) - I do this because it becomes more personal communicating through the phone than to a computer, so you can better detect if someone is real or not
4 - I don't usually wait so long to move on to the physical, but with men I've met online I do wait longer, so don't give it up too quickly
5 - Don't make the first date too big of a deal. A couple drinks is all I do, as I enjoy that as a rule, and at least you have a way out, not like dinner or some big night out where you feel obligated to stick around if it's not working. The big dates can come later when you know it's someone you want to spend some time with. I should also add that above when I said they should impress me, I was clear that promises of champagne dinners, etc would not, that what excited me personally was a good personality, intellect and manners.
6 - Be honest with your pictures and put up a variety - I can't stress this enough!

Meeting anyone online is always tricky business, so I don't think it's fair to say it's just this site. I was on a paid site quite a few years ago but gave up after being stood up four times in a row by men I thought were genuine (this is when I decided to use the phone a bit more, although I stopped using that site then!)

It will work, just think of it like a project that you have to put in effort to complete. And above all, have fun with it, bad date stories are the best!

Lovely to hear you are dating and happy with the guy you met on POF

Thanks for all the tips. Love the advice on think of it as a little project

[Deleted User] · 24/04/13 - 05:50

its rubbish. some girls say they want a nice guy. and will reply and you messege them and they ignore you.

becarefull of missleading profiles lol

Hey there!

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