Would it be a deal breaker if your partner said they didn't want to travel?

scar_tissuescar_tissue Posts: 719
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I've been with my boyfriend over a year now, last year I managed to talk him into a weeks break in Cyprus. He didn't seem that enthused about it and I arranged it all as he didn't suggest anything he wanted to do and he said he enjoyed it after we got back.

I've been talking about going away again this year but he seems pretty adamant he doesn't want to go abroad now. He said he doesn't get much enjoyment from it, it's too stressful and he feels intimidated by it all. He said it's not the flying, it's the being taken out of his comfort zone part. Part of me feels kind of gutted as he won't be my dream travel buddy, I'd be happy with 1 holiday abroad a year but I have to respect how he feels. He says he would be up for holidays in the UK but that doesn't excite me as much, the thought of that stresses me out more as I'd have to drive further than I would driving the 30 miles to the airport also the weather's a lot colder.

I don't really have any friends I can go with so I'd have to go alone, which I have done before although it can get pretty lonely.
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Comments

  • asyousayasyousay Posts: 38,838
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    Total deal breaker , this country is a dump so a 3-4 holidays a year is a must .
  • oscardelahoyaoscardelahoya Posts: 4,902
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    It might be if they just refused, have you suggested UK one year and abroad the next as a compromise?
  • Miss XYZMiss XYZ Posts: 14,023
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    No, it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
  • Ethel_FredEthel_Fred Posts: 34,127
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    In a few years time you'd be dying to have a holiday without him.
  • BunionsBunions Posts: 14,995
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    asyousay wrote: »
    Total deal breaker , this country is a dump so a 3-4 holidays a year is a must .
    I know what you mean - me too.

    Thankfully, we both love travelling, flying and departure lounges so we're completely compatible in that regard :D

    I'd find it weird going abroad alone and having wonderful experiences that I'd not be able to share fully with the OH

    I would work around it if he couldn't go, but wouldn't is another thing entirely.
  • muggins14muggins14 Posts: 61,844
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    How about a cruise, or the Channel Islands - Jersey's like a mixture of British and Europe, a compromise for you both. It's a lovely place with a fascinating history - and you can fly or go by ferry, have a meal on board, it's fun :)
  • James FrederickJames Frederick Posts: 53,184
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    I wouldn't care I went to Spain a few times when I was younger and really did like it but now if I never went further than town for the rest of my life I'd be happy.
  • JakobjoeJakobjoe Posts: 8,235
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    no.. because i also hate travelling anywhere abroad or potentially hot in climate...
  • housegirlhousegirl Posts: 6,017
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    No hubby and I have be wed 41 years, now it is impossible for us to go abroad, There is more to life. The love is still there that is all that matters.
  • asyousayasyousay Posts: 38,838
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    Bunions wrote: »
    I know what you mean - me too.

    Thankfully, we both love travelling, flying and departure lounges so we're completely compatible in that regard :D

    I'd find it weird going abroad alone and having wonderful experiences that I'd not be able to share fully with the OH

    I would work around it if he couldn't go, but wouldn't is another thing entirely.

    Exactly , you want to experience these things together :)

    Thankfully everyone I know loves to go abroad so it's never been a issue . But I could not imagine never leaving England as I love tropical places and the weather which we never get here .
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 94
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    No, I would go by myself. Actually it would be a deal breaker if he insisted on taking all holidays together. I prefer to travel alone, and don't want a bloke to cramp my style ;)
  • degsyhufcdegsyhufc Posts: 59,251
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    He says he would be up for holidays in the UK but that doesn't excite me as much, the thought of that stresses me out more as I'd have to drive further than I would driving the 30 miles to the airport also the weather's a lot colder.
    Remember those other two modes of transport apart from Automobiles in the famous film title?
    No reason you couldn't use one of them to visit or travel around Britain.
  • EspressoEspresso Posts: 18,047
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    So he doesn't want to go abroad because he feels intimidated, even though he said he liked it when he got back and you don't want holidays at home because the driving stresses you out.

    Can he not drive?

    Can you not alternate each year? Or do both each year?

    If not, then it seems like neither of you are willing to put yourself out for the other one over holidays. One or other of you will get narked by that before too much longer.
    Which can be a deal breaker, no question
  • Summer BreezeSummer Breeze Posts: 4,399
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    It would not be a dealbreaker for me, however it would be a big deal.
    I would just got do my own thing though which for some would not be good but I would do it anyway.
  • Richard1960Richard1960 Posts: 20,337
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    asyousay wrote: »
    Total deal breaker , this country is a dump so a 3-4 holidays a year is a must .

    That depends on what you want to do i am interested not in beach holiday's ,but i like exploring medieval history on holiday.

    This country is not a dump at all plenty of quaint beauty spots with lots of history.

    And nope it would not be a deal breaker for me,lots to see and do here ,get a history book and off you go.;-)

    The shame is people hop here and there without ever seeing their own country fist.:)
  • annette kurtenannette kurten Posts: 39,543
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    having different interests isn`t a deal breaker for me.
  • Summer BreezeSummer Breeze Posts: 4,399
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    No, I would go by myself. Actually it would be a deal breaker if he insisted on taking all holidays together. I prefer to travel alone, and don't want a bloke to cramp my style ;)


    Laughing here :D
  • Poppy99_PoppyPoppy99_Poppy Posts: 2,255
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    Whilst I do think you should get to know the places in your own country, the world is a big place. There is so much to see that yes it would be a deal breaker not to travel. Time enough for the day trip to Bridlington or a weekend in Llandudno when your energy levels decline.
  • Richard1960Richard1960 Posts: 20,337
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    No, I would go by myself. Actually it would be a deal breaker if he insisted on taking all holidays together. I prefer to travel alone, and don't want a bloke to cramp my style ;)

    Oh dear.:D:D

    Fair enough though.
  • Richard1960Richard1960 Posts: 20,337
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    Whilst I do think you should get to know the places in your own country, the world is a big place. There is so much to see that yes it would be a deal breaker not to travel. Time enough for the day trip to Bridlington or a weekend in Llandudno when your energy levels decline.

    You would not say that doing the pennine way perhaps you have though.:)
  • QT 3.14QT 3.14 Posts: 1,771
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    Sounds like you're dating a whiny man-child.
  • scar_tissuescar_tissue Posts: 719
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    Part of me thinks there is more to life than travelling and we are a good match in other ways but I have a curiosity to travel the world, I never went abroad as a child as my parents didn't like it. Now I'm in my early 20's and would like a family soon so I want to do it all before then. Even when my kids are older I have dreams of going away as a family and showing them the world.
    muggins14 wrote: »
    How about a cruise, or the Channel Islands - Jersey's like a mixture of British and Europe, a compromise for you both. It's a lovely place with a fascinating history - and you can fly or go by ferry, have a meal on board, it's fun :)

    I've mentioned going on one of those P&O mini cruises to Amsterdam or Bruges as they are very cheap, I've seen a good deal on groupon with 1 night's stay in a 4 star hotel added on. He hasn't said no yet so we'll see.
  • yourpointbeing?yourpointbeing? Posts: 3,696
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    It would put me off as I love to travel so it would seem that we were not well matched
  • rupert_pupkinrupert_pupkin Posts: 3,975
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    QT 3.14 wrote: »
    Sounds like you're dating a whiny man-child.

    This

    Tell him to man up, he should be taking you away not vice versa
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 410
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    Id expect him to compromise. Some in uk, some abroad. Obviously not all the same year. I would be gutted if my boyfriend just wanted to holiday in uk!
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