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Buffy - favourite quotes
tmesis
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I've been rewatching loads of Buffy lately, and every now and again there's a line that makes you spit your tea out. Okay, so each episode has a tonne of great quotes, but what are your absolute favourites?
Some of mine:
Buffybot in season 5:
Giles: Quite extraordinary, really.
Buffybot: Thank you. But I really think we should be listening to the other Buffy, Guiles. She's very smart and she's gonna help us save Spike.
Giles: "Guiles"?! Spike didn't even bother to program my name properly!
On what to do with Evil Willow:
Andrew: You know - I could summon a demon to kill her.
Xander: And I could smack you so hard your eyeballs switch sockets.
Buffy: If you want to make jokes then I will pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat.
Harmony: So, Slayer. At last we meet.
Buffy: We've met, Harmony, you halfwit.
Giles: I have a friend who's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone.
Anya: Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?
Giles: Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could've said.
Some of mine:
Buffybot in season 5:
Giles: Quite extraordinary, really.
Buffybot: Thank you. But I really think we should be listening to the other Buffy, Guiles. She's very smart and she's gonna help us save Spike.
Giles: "Guiles"?! Spike didn't even bother to program my name properly!
On what to do with Evil Willow:
Andrew: You know - I could summon a demon to kill her.
Xander: And I could smack you so hard your eyeballs switch sockets.
Buffy: If you want to make jokes then I will pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat.
Harmony: So, Slayer. At last we meet.
Buffy: We've met, Harmony, you halfwit.
Giles: I have a friend who's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone.
Anya: Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?
Giles: Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could've said.
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Buffy: Slayee
Not my fav, but made me chuckle
Buffy: Is that why your always cleaning your glasses, so you don't have to see what we're doing?
Giles: Tell no one
Spike: Uhh, Buffy was just helping me out with a muscle cramp.
Tara: A muscle cramp? In your... Pants?
Spike: What... Its a thing?
Tara: Right
Spike: If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there it would've been like Woodstock. I was at Woodstock. I fed off a flower person and I spent six hours watching my hand move
W: What are you doing? Help him!
S: I did.
[vamp goes up in flames]
G: You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me.
S: Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea?
Willow: Are you sure this thing called itself The First?
Buffy: Pretty sure. It claimed to be the original evil, the one that came before anything else.
Anya: Please, how many times have I heard that line in my demon days? "I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?" ...... "Or terrified. Whatever."
Spike: *counts on his fingers* "Out...for...a...walk......BITCH!"
Spike: "Oh, you've just want to pump me for information?"
Buffy: "What else would I want to pump you for?...I really just said that didn't I?"
And I love this one from the first episode of Angel after Doyle has filled us in on Angel's backstory..
"Ok, fine you know my life story, which because it was my life story, I already knew. Why should I trust you?"
Oz - I mock you with my monkey pants
Makes me giggle every time.
I also think they could have made more use of the word "always" - Angel writes it to Buffy in a book, and I think it could have been used more often as a link back to that episode and the connection between Buffy and Angel
Hehe, love it.
ANGEL: Well, he’s not crazy about germs.
CORDELIA: Of course, that’s it! We’ll attack him with germs.
BUFFY: Great, we’ll get him cornered and then you can sneeze on him.
CORDELIA: No! No, we’ll get a container of Ebola virus and, and, err, or, it doesn’t even have to be real, we could just get a box that says Ebola on it and, umm, chase him. With the box.
XANDER: I’m starting to lean toward the Hummus offensive.
OZ: He’ll never see it coming.
Willow: So ... will you help me?
Anya: Is it difficult or time consuming?
Anya: I can just hear you in private. "I dislike that Anya. She's newly human, and strangely literal!"
Xander: Hey, I know this. They're both Buffy!
Buffy: No, she's a robot. She acts just like that girlfriend-bot that Warren guy made. You guys couldn't tell me apart from a robot?!
Angel: I'm a funny guy.
Nancy: Is there anyone here that hasn't slept together?
*Spike and Xander glance at each other*
Xander: Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled...
Buffy: I'm not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be...
Xander: Shpadoinkle!
And more serious stuff but still favourite quotes (tried to cut down because it was way too long!)...
Buffy: I just wish my mum was here...
Buffy: This is the work I have to do now.
Buffy: You got your soul back. How?
Spike: It's what you wanted, right?
Buffy: Why? Why would you do that--
Spike: Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev-- to be a kind of man. She shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved. So everything's OK, right? Can--can we rest now? Buffy...can we rest?
Spike: You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine and done things I'd prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain so I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.
Buffy: I don't want to be the one.
Spike: I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.
I always liked this one, when Oz is moving gear with one of his band-mates:
Devon: Man, we need a roadie. Other bands have roadies.
Oz: Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords.
Devon: Yeah but that's just, like, fruity jazz bands.
That scene from the season three finale with them all planning to take down the mayor that's been mentioned is hilarious, and Charisma Carpenter is brilliant in the scene, especially the delivery of "...with the box", lol.
Also, almost the entirity of Anya's dialogue is worthy of a mention. The "orgasm friend" exchange in Hush is brilliant, as is Anya's unfazed response to Gile's little slideshow later on in that episode. I also like her first reappearance in season four, with her outlook on her perceived relationship with Xander "what kind do we have, and where is it moving toward". Also a lot of her lines in "The Replacement" are great, especially the one when she suggests taking both Xanders home for an orgy before merging them back together, lol.
Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millenium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species, and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them!
Xander: Then why you talking to me?
Anya: {averts eyes nervously} I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well gosh! I wonder why not? It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your sales pitch?
Anya: Men are evil!! Will you go with me?
Anya: “Xander is in trouble. We’ve got to do something, right now!”
Giles stares at her with his mouth hanging open: “Anya.”
Anya: {impatiently}“Are you listening? Xander is trapped!”
Giles: “Uh, ah... where is Buffy, and the others?”
Anya: {annoyed that he has missed the point}“Uh...they’re trapped too. But we’ve got to save Xander!”
Anya opens the door to Buffy.
Anya: "Xander's not here."
Buffy: "Oh."
They stare at each other awkwardly.
Anya: "You're not going away. Why aren't you going away?"
Buffy: "Oh I was kind of hoping to look at some of Xander's
stuff."
Anya: "Oh.....sure. Come on in! Make yourself at home.... and so on."
Anya sits on the couch reading whilst Buffy rummages through Xanders things. Buffy has a thought and then sits on the arm of the couch, next to Anya.
Anya: "Oh you're still here." [smiles faintly] "That's nice."
Anya, Xander & Dawn are playing the board game, 'The Game Of Life'...
ANYA: Oh, crap. (slaps down her cards) Look at this! Now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, more cash than I can reasonably manage!
XANDER: That means you're winning.
ANYA: Really?
XANDER: Yes. Cash equals good.
ANYA: (claps her hands in excitement) Ooh! I'm so pleased! (Squeals) Can I trade in the children for more cash?
Dawn is reminicing about her unique childhood...
DAWN: When I was younger, I used to put my chopsticks in my mouth like this, (She puts chopsticks into her mouth so they stick out like very long fangs) and then Buffy would chase me around the house yelling, (makes claw hands) 'I'm the slayer, I'm going to get you!' (Laughs)
ANYA: That's disturbing. You're emotionally scarred and will end up badly.
Anya practices her self-penned wedding vows...
ANYA: 'I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you - but not to obey you of course, because that's anachronistic, and misogynistic, and ... who do you think you are? Like.... a sea captain or something?!'
ANYA: "They're not just cute,
Like everybody supposes!
They've got them hoppy legs,
And twitchy little noses!
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies!
BUNIIES!
IT MUST BE BUN-NEEEHHHS!!!!
.... or maybe midgets..."
ANYA: I'll be 'Missus'!
I will be his Missus!
Missus. Anya - "Lame-Ass Made-Up Maiden-Name" - ... Harris...."
http://vrya.net/bdb/
hehe yep and anya is the one who tends to say 'em
PMSL see what i mean
Sigh... I haven't had a Buffy marathon in ages. I think that's my Easter weekend planned!
Willow: "Ooh! Look at those!"
"Mom? {quietly} Mom.......? Mommy..?'
It was so beautifly subtle, but so profoundly meaningful; how, as the realisation of what was happening sunk in, her entire bravado disolves.
How the addition of only two little letters, strips Buffy of all her power, to the point she's simply a scared little girl who wants her 'Mommy'.
It was so raw. So stark & harrowing, but also, and above all - so very real. It was that one line where I finally conceeded that Joss Whedon does indeed posess genuine genius.
From season 3
Giles: We can't be sure this is true telepathy..
Buffy: When I walked in you thought 'Look at her shoes. If a magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet'
Also from that episode....
BUFFY: Mom, please, just come sit with me. {Joyce fidgets and steps back from the bed.}
JOYCE: I've uh, I've got laundry.
BUFFY: Why are you...? {she bolts up in bed} You had sex with Giles?!
{Joyce gasps}
BUFFY: YOU HAD SEX WITH GILES?!
JOYCE: It was the candy! We were teenagers! {turns to hurry out of the room}
BUFFY: On the hood of a police car?!?
JOYCE: {calling back from outside the door} I'll be downstairs. You feel better. (she hurries away)
BUFFY (calling after her) TWICE?!!!!
"And some of you will be fish (pause) yeah, you at the back; will be fish!"
It's a bit silly, but always makes me chuckle.
I also think Kristine Sutherland has some great lines. I love the one in Dead Man's Party, with Joyce shouting the odds at Buffy in the middle of the party "...and I've had Schnapps!"
I can't think of a quote from this brilliant show, there are so many to choose from.
So, I've quoted my favourite episode above.
And not forgetting
Buffy: Jeez Xander is that all you think about?!
Xander: I gotta go {runs out of the room}