I could post **** this thread but another post reminded me about an awquard situation i put my mother in when I was a kid.
A friend of hers was around and this friend was a rather large lady,
And little scroatey me walks in.. takes one look at this person and said to my mum. "Muuuuum! Why is that woman so fat!?"
I misread 10 as having sex with your girlfriends mum! It would've ended even worse if she'd gone downstairs and said the same to your girlfriend!
1 didnt resolve very well at all. Because I only realised when my mum offered me a chocolate from a box of choclates she had received.. For me to say "Oooh who bought you those!?" "Your dad did!" "Oh cool! Any reason?" She kinda looked at me and then I noticed the birthday cards on the window... "Ooooooooooooooooooooh!"
Number 10.. nope was definately having sex with my girlfriend. They say girls grow up to look like their mothers.. all i can say is.. im glad i didnt marry that one!
can't think of one particular incident but mine would be...
getting a fit of giggles at the wrong time - usually if someone has fallen, banged their head, tripped up etc. I don't mean to laugh, it's just a natural reaction for me - which then develops into a fit of laughter. It's then followed by me explaining I'm not laughing AT them!!
Mind you, I totally laugh out loud at You've been Framed - my kind of humour!!
lmao..Has to be the time I finally lost my rag with my auntie.
but it didnt end there *didnt put the phone back on the hook proper and she was still listening on the other end...20 min rant about everything I dislike about her.
once following a man when I thought he said follow me when he really said 'going for a pee' he was trying to take a pee with me trying to see what he was doing..even now Im cringing the look on the guys face was just sheer horror...[/QUOTE]
Had a woman coming to the counter, in the shop where I work, absolutely desperate for a pee, and asking to use the staff loos. No one could find the member of staff who had the toilet key!
My number one awkward moment was when I was significantly younger, I was playing a game of monopoly with my mum and in a slip of catastrophic proportions instead of asking, "Could you pass me the dice?" I let out, "Could you pass me the blowjob?"
I talk quite fast and often muddle up the first letters of each word. Daft I know.
So after one summer, going back to school - the registration teacher asked me what i'd been up to over summer. I'd been away in amsterdam so I said a number of things I'd done including
I talk quite fast and often muddle up the first letters of each word. Daft I know.
So after one summer, going back to school - the registration teacher asked me what i'd been up to over summer. I'd been away in amsterdam so I said a number of things I'd done including
My cousin and I were at the supermarket one day when I turned around to see her chucking an iceberg lettuce into the trolley. Not our trolley though, the trolley of an extremely overweight man, it was like she'd done it on purpose 'ere, eat that you fat git!'. She went bright red when she realised, and I had to circle the salad aisle til he'd gone because I was laughing so much.
My cousin and I were at the supermarket one day when I turned around to see her chucking an iceberg lettuce into the trolley. Not our trolley though, the trolley of an extremely overweight man, it was like she'd done it on purpose 'ere, eat that you fat git!'. She went bright red when she realised, and I had to circle the salad aisle til he'd gone because I was laughing so much.
I did something much, much worse. :o I once accidentally wheeled someone else's trolley away. She called me back, and I apologised, saying blithely, "Oh sorry, that one is mine." Only thing is - mine had a baby in it. The look of disbelief on her face haunts me still...
UNLESS im in the prescence of my red-headed friend, who is incredibly funny about the G word. she once even said my ginger moggy has red fur.
so when im with her, me and all my friends suddenly develop ginger tourettes. and those awkward silences when we can feel our friend tense up and stare coldly at us are horrible.
Woke up in the middle of the night in hotel room dying for a pee. Used wrong door and watched the hotel room door swing shut in slow motion as I was starkers in the corridor.
Worst thing to EVER happen to me and to most people I know.
I was frantically running up and down corridors desperately looking for something to cover me up.
I knew the room number of a work colleague who was there with me. I actually got as far as standing outside her door naked about to knock but I couldn't bring myself to do it. She had only joined 2 weeks previously and I was her boss, I just couldn't do it.
So I ran about I bit more - found another set of stairs and THANK GOD I found an unlocked linen closet. I grabbed a sheet and went back and woke her up. Explained the situation and she went down to reception and got a spare key for me.
We no longer work together but are best friends - I totally impressed her as a boss!
Needless to say we had been drinking the evening before (we had won an award for our teams work and were celebrating).
Doctor was trying to fit a cannula on my hand and was finding it hard so kept on moving it around which resulted in brushing his crotch area a couple of times:eek:
He was really good looking and I sat there trying not to laugh or die of shame:o!
First night I stayed in a boyf's house I almost opened the door of his parent's bedroom after needing the loo:o
Woke up in the middle of the night in hotel room dying for a pee. Used wrong door and watched the hotel room door swing shut in slow motion as I was starkers in the corridor.
Worst thing to EVER happen to me and to most people I know.
I was frantically running up and down corridors desperately looking for something to cover me up.
I knew the room number of a work colleague who was there with me. I actually got as far as standing outside her door naked about to knock but I couldn't bring myself to do it. She had only joined 2 weeks previously and I was her boss, I just couldn't do it.
So I ran about I bit more - found another set of stairs and THANK GOD I found an unlocked linen closet. I grabbed a sheet and went back and woke her up. Explained the situation and she went down to reception and got a spare key for me.
We no longer work together but are best friends - I totally impressed her as a boss!
Needless to say we had been drinking the evening before (we had won an award for our teams work and were celebrating).
My cousin and I were at the supermarket one day when I turned around to see her chucking an iceberg lettuce into the trolley. Not our trolley though, the trolley of an extremely overweight man, it was like she'd done it on purpose 'ere, eat that you fat git!'. She went bright red when she realised, and I had to circle the salad aisle til he'd gone because I was laughing so much.
I did something much, much worse. :o I once accidentally wheeled someone else's trolley away. She called me back, and I apologised, saying blithely, "Oh sorry, that one is mine." Only thing is - mine had a baby in it. The look of disbelief on her face haunts me still...
HAHAHAHAHA.
I'm always talking about people when they're behind me. I'm such a bitch sometimes. Like I remember once when I was 12 or 13 I was talking to a friend about a guy I used to like, and said that he was a shockingly awful kisser, I was being really loud and hyperbolic about how world-endingly dreadful he was. Well, he had to be behind me. Of course he did. Life just wouldn't be life if he hadn't been.
And I'm not homophobic in the least but I was talking about Christmas in a car with two friends, and saying how we'd skipped out on the annual great-aunt's Christmas party, and I can't mention my great aunt without mentioning how her three middle-aged daughters have lived with her all their life and two of them share a room. Then like a rambling fool I said "cause they never got married or anything everyone sort of suspected they were lesbians - oh, not with each other, just in general - but apparently they're not." I realised that that might have sounded ridiculously ignorant, particularly to my lesbian friend who was driving the car.
So in the next gap in conversation I said, "I realise I just sounded fairly homophobic!" to which the woman was all "...yeah" so I spent about ten minutes explaining how people only thought that because I come from a really Catholic family and every other relative is married with a load of Catholic-spawn and as they are some of the most devout it seemed really out of place for them not to follow the 'marry a nice Catholic man and breed' pattern. (No-one in the car was a Catholic except - technically - me, thank christ. )
There has been too many awkward moments in my life but here is just one...
My OH was taking me to work in the car one day and I needed to stop off at our local shop (can I add I was in a rush as well ) ...he pulled up in the car park next to a transit van with a couple of lads sat in it eating their fish and chips.
I jumped out of the car not realising that my handbag handle was wrapped around my foot, slammed the door shut and fell face first into the van. OH opened the car door which released the bag handle that was holding me upright at this time and I dramatically slid down the side of the van in to a heap on the floor.
One of the lads wound his window down and said between giggles and choking on his chips 'you ok down there love' to which I could only grunt.
I did something much, much worse. :o I once accidentally wheeled someone else's trolley away. She called me back, and I apologised, saying blithely, "Oh sorry, that one is mine." Only thing is - mine had a baby in it. The look of disbelief on her face haunts me still...
Oh dear, that is awkward, Ive heard of women stealing babies but trying to palm one off......:D
5) Having your first poo at a girlfriends / boyfriends house.
You have to line the toilet bowl with a paper nest whilst running all the taps to drown out any sounds. Then the bottom aroma has to be fanned out of the window. The whole process could take up to an hour to complete.
I was living in halls in my first year at university and there were 11 other people living on my floor. A couple of them were in their final year so didn't socialise with the rest of us quite so frequently.
At the end of my first term my brother came to visit and arrived at a time when everybody had congregated in the kitchen. This meant I had to introduce him to everybody. When I got to one of the girls (unfortunately one of the ones who didn't socialise often with us) I had a complete mind blank and couldn't remember her name at all! Since I'd already introduced everybody else by name I couldn't leave her out, but couldn't think of anything witty to say so had to actually ask her to remind me of her name. I felt so embarrassed because I did know her name (of course I did! I'd lived with her for 10 weeks!).
Really posh shop.went to buy my mum some Creme De la mer..the lady on the counter bent down *to talk to me in the wheelchair..I swear Ive never seen a spit ball so big come out of my mouth and it landed right on her false eye lash..the poor thing just stood there with this thing impaled on her eyelash.
I couldnt stand it and said I was so sorry for what happened at that she got the box of tissues and removed it off her eyelash.It really was like something out of Mr Bean.I think she was so glad I broached the subject you could see the look of horror just on her face.but she was fine about it afterwards.
My husband and I were in our local Thorntons shop - remember that advert? - anyway he pumped and it was reeking, absolutely vile... the people behind the counter were holding their noses, people were walking into the shop and going 'what is that smell, is it the drains' Awful it was.
When my oldest son was about 5 i went on a night out with a friend who also had a daughter in in the same class as my son.
We had drunk rather alot of alcohol and were strutting our stuff on the dance floor when we noticed that a crowd of people also on the dance floor happened to be a group of teachers from our kids school, included in the group were our kids teacher and the headmaster.
For some reason in our drunken mind we thought it would be a good idea tojoin the group of teachers and start dancing with them and dancing around in the middle of the circle they were stood in and generally just annoying them and behaving like drunken fools.
The following monday i was absolulty mortified when i thought back to it and 3 odd years down the road i still cringe thinking about and its not easily forgotton as my older son and my other 2 sons still go to the same school the teachers work at.
When my oldest son was about 5 i went on a night out with a friend who also had a daughter in in the same class as my son.
We had drunk rather alot of alcohol and were strutting our stuff on the dance floor when we noticed that a crowd of people also on the dance floor happened to be a group of teachers from our kids school, included in the group were our kids teacher and the headmaster.
For some reason in our drunken mind we thought it would be a good idea tojoin the group of teachers and start dancing with them and dancing around in the middle of the circle they were stood in and generally just annoying them and behaving like drunken fools.
The following monday i was absolulty mortified when i thought back to it and 3 odd years down the road i still cringe thinking about and its not easily forgotton as my older son and my other 2 sons still go to the same school the teachers work at.
Comments
A friend of hers was around and this friend was a rather large lady,
And little scroatey me walks in.. takes one look at this person and said to my mum. "Muuuuum! Why is that woman so fat!?"
1 didnt resolve very well at all. Because I only realised when my mum offered me a chocolate from a box of choclates she had received.. For me to say "Oooh who bought you those!?" "Your dad did!" "Oh cool! Any reason?" She kinda looked at me and then I noticed the birthday cards on the window... "Ooooooooooooooooooooh!"
Number 10.. nope was definately having sex with my girlfriend. They say girls grow up to look like their mothers.. all i can say is.. im glad i didnt marry that one!
getting a fit of giggles at the wrong time - usually if someone has fallen, banged their head, tripped up etc. I don't mean to laugh, it's just a natural reaction for me - which then develops into a fit of laughter. It's then followed by me explaining I'm not laughing AT them!!
Mind you, I totally laugh out loud at You've been Framed - my kind of humour!!
i've done this too
So after one summer, going back to school - the registration teacher asked me what i'd been up to over summer. I'd been away in amsterdam so I said a number of things I'd done including
"eating in the Hard Cock Rafe"
Died in front of a class of 20 of my peers!!!
They do a decent spotted dick in there.
I did something much, much worse.
UNLESS im in the prescence of my red-headed friend, who is incredibly funny about the G word. she once even said my ginger moggy has red fur.
so when im with her, me and all my friends suddenly develop ginger tourettes. and those awkward silences when we can feel our friend tense up and stare coldly at us are horrible.
Worst thing to EVER happen to me and to most people I know.
I was frantically running up and down corridors desperately looking for something to cover me up.
I knew the room number of a work colleague who was there with me. I actually got as far as standing outside her door naked about to knock but I couldn't bring myself to do it. She had only joined 2 weeks previously and I was her boss, I just couldn't do it.
So I ran about I bit more - found another set of stairs and THANK GOD I found an unlocked linen closet. I grabbed a sheet and went back and woke her up. Explained the situation and she went down to reception and got a spare key for me.
We no longer work together but are best friends - I totally impressed her as a boss!
Needless to say we had been drinking the evening before (we had won an award for our teams work and were celebrating).
since this occasion I always wear pyjamas!
He was really good looking and I sat there trying not to laugh or die of shame:o!
First night I stayed in a boyf's house I almost opened the door of his parent's bedroom after needing the loo:o
This is brilliant!!!
Hahahaha.
HAHAHAHAHA.
I'm always talking about people when they're behind me. I'm such a bitch sometimes.
And I'm not homophobic in the least but I was talking about Christmas in a car with two friends, and saying how we'd skipped out on the annual great-aunt's Christmas party, and I can't mention my great aunt without mentioning how her three middle-aged daughters have lived with her all their life and two of them share a room. Then like a rambling fool I said "cause they never got married or anything everyone sort of suspected they were lesbians - oh, not with each other, just in general - but apparently they're not." I realised that that might have sounded ridiculously ignorant, particularly to my lesbian friend who was driving the car.
So in the next gap in conversation I said, "I realise I just sounded fairly homophobic!" to which the woman was all "...yeah" so I spent about ten minutes explaining how people only thought that because I come from a really Catholic family and every other relative is married with a load of Catholic-spawn and as they are some of the most devout it seemed really out of place for them not to follow the 'marry a nice Catholic man and breed' pattern. (No-one in the car was a Catholic except - technically - me, thank christ.
My OH was taking me to work in the car one day and I needed to stop off at our local shop (can I add I was in a rush as well ) ...he pulled up in the car park next to a transit van with a couple of lads sat in it eating their fish and chips.
I jumped out of the car not realising that my handbag handle was wrapped around my foot, slammed the door shut and fell face first into the van. OH opened the car door which released the bag handle that was holding me upright at this time and I dramatically slid down the side of the van in to a heap on the floor.
One of the lads wound his window down and said between giggles and choking on his chips 'you ok down there love' to which I could only grunt.
Oh dear, that is awkward, Ive heard of women stealing babies but trying to palm one off......:D
Someone's been watching Along Came Polly.
At the end of my first term my brother came to visit and arrived at a time when everybody had congregated in the kitchen. This meant I had to introduce him to everybody. When I got to one of the girls (unfortunately one of the ones who didn't socialise often with us) I had a complete mind blank and couldn't remember her name at all! Since I'd already introduced everybody else by name I couldn't leave her out, but couldn't think of anything witty to say so had to actually ask her to remind me of her name. I felt so embarrassed because I did know her name (of course I did! I'd lived with her for 10 weeks!).
I felt guilty for ages afterwards
i agree, getting caught watching a film with Jennifer Aniston in it is a really awkward moment.
I couldnt stand it and said I was so sorry for what happened at that she got the box of tissues and removed it off her eyelash.It really was like something out of Mr Bean.I think she was so glad I broached the subject you could see the look of horror just on her face.but she was fine about it afterwards.
We had drunk rather alot of alcohol and were strutting our stuff on the dance floor when we noticed that a crowd of people also on the dance floor happened to be a group of teachers from our kids school, included in the group were our kids teacher and the headmaster.
For some reason in our drunken mind we thought it would be a good idea tojoin the group of teachers and start dancing with them and dancing around in the middle of the circle they were stood in and generally just annoying them and behaving like drunken fools.
The following monday i was absolulty mortified when i thought back to it and 3 odd years down the road i still cringe thinking about and its not easily forgotton as my older son and my other 2 sons still go to the same school the teachers work at.
Ha ha. I have a brilliant mental image of this!