I only like my own toilet and my parents toilet. If I am absolutely desperate I will use the work toilet but it is quite often pebble dashed or contains someone else's logs. But friends and other family I never do, partly because of the noises, smells and that everyone knows what you are doing. Christmas is the worst time for this.
Why is it that you often see "someone elses log" laying there in the toilet, but without any toilet paper? Do they not bother wiping?
This reminds me of a story I heard on Talk Radio some years ago.
Guy went to visit parents of new girlfriend.
V nice house and he didn't know layout.
Needed loo so went upstairs to loo and did big poo.
Poo wouldn't flush away.
He didn't want anybody to find it ..... Several thick facecloths on side so scooped poo out with flannel. Opened top window (which was frosted glass) and thought he'd drop poo in bushes below then rinse flannel out and all would be well.
Accidentally dropped flannel out too but figured he could pick it up as he left.
Went downstairs for afternoon tea where the whole family was sitting in the lounge gazing out of the patio doors and onto the lawn where a large pink facecloth sat on the grass. :D
Do you do it? Or do you hold it until you get home?
The only places I can dump are at home and at work. At home because it's my own toilet and at work if it is bad and I don't mind clogging the toilet
A very tricky problem. My dump location of choice is always my own home. If I have to do this elsewhere e.g. work I will spend ages trying to find an empty set of toilets. If that s not possible then I resort to putting lots of toilet paper down the loo first to disguise the 'plop' and prevent any marks.
Why is it bad form? Do they and their family not use the loo for excretion?
There are certain protocols to observe of course, e.g. leaving the place very clean after you, and obviously the 'tactical flush'.
This happens before the poo. Get ready, flush the loo, then go for it.
The initial bout of poop will be the most substantial and noisy, and it will be completely masked by the swirling sound of the flush, and subsequent gush of the cistern refilling.
Textbook.
My cistern is slow and almost silent. The flush is also quite quick. Thankfully most of my turds can do dives better than Tom Daley so no Godzilla tidal waves in there.
Shouldn't it be known as 'Leaving a dump' rather than 'Taking a dump'....??!?!? You're not actually 'taking' anything are you? You are 'leaving' your 'dump', crap, or whatever so surely, the phrase needs to be 'Leaving a dump'....?!!!!
I seem to remember a Billy Connelly skit, talking of the embarrassment of dropping a log in someone else's lavatory, so big that it keeps popping back.
My Mum was always proud of having 2 loos in her last house - one of them being a very small 'guest' loo right near the front door, sharing a wall with the living-room.
She often recalls the time my brother was in there having a rather painful poo whilst she and a guest sat there listening to his rather loud evacuation through a very thin wall (as they discovered that day )
When looking for their current house, one criteria was that there be no downstairs loo
This thread also reminds me of a scene from the film, 'Dumb & Dumber'......
The 2 dudes go to the 1st dude's girlfriend's house but then dude 1's stomach drops (after dude #2 deliberately spikes dude #1's drink with laxatives a few hours earlier) and desperately needs to use the loo. So, reluctantly, as to not totally embarrass his new girlfriend, he goes into the bathroom, sits on the loo and lets rip....!!!
His girlfriend then calls out something like, '....hey, don;t use the loo - its broken as it won't flush!!!!!! '
Why is it bad form? Do they and their family not use the loo for excretion?
There are certain protocols to observe of course, e.g. leaving the place very clean after you, and obviously the 'tactical flush'.
This happens before the poo. Get ready, flush the loo, then go for it.
The initial bout of poop will be the most substantial and noisy, and it will be completely masked by the swirling sound of the flush, and subsequent gush of the cistern refilling.
Textbook.
Aha, but then after you flush again at the end of your dump you're left with people thinking you must have dropped a mammoth Richard the III to have required a double flush. You'll soon be known as 'Big-jobbie-Welsh-lad'.
The more common splash-reduction technique is to strategically place 3 sheets of paper on the water surface to act as a crash mat meaning the 1st log is safely enveloped in the tissue and breaks the fall of all other logs which follow.
But what happens if you stuck in no mans land where you think that you can hold it in til you get home but cant and you have to do it. What do you do. Do you find a bush and do it there or do it in underwear.
This reminds me of a story I heard on Talk Radio some years ago.
Guy went to visit parents of new girlfriend.
V nice house and he didn't know layout.
Needed loo so went upstairs to loo and did big poo.
Poo wouldn't flush away.
He didn't want anybody to find it ..... Several thick facecloths on side so scooped poo out with flannel. Opened top window (which was frosted glass) and thought he'd drop poo in bushes below then rinse flannel out and all would be well.
Accidentally dropped flannel out too but figured he could pick it up as he left.
Went downstairs for afternoon tea where the whole family was sitting in the lounge gazing out of the patio doors and onto the lawn where a large pink facecloth sat on the grass. :D
Sounds like talk radio has been listening to macc lads songs from the 80's (check out the lyrics to Dans Big Log)
Comments
Why is it that you often see "someone elses log" laying there in the toilet, but without any toilet paper? Do they not bother wiping?
Beats fainting in front of her anyway
Guy went to visit parents of new girlfriend.
V nice house and he didn't know layout.
Needed loo so went upstairs to loo and did big poo.
Poo wouldn't flush away.
He didn't want anybody to find it ..... Several thick facecloths on side so scooped poo out with flannel. Opened top window (which was frosted glass) and thought he'd drop poo in bushes below then rinse flannel out and all would be well.
Accidentally dropped flannel out too but figured he could pick it up as he left.
Went downstairs for afternoon tea where the whole family was sitting in the lounge gazing out of the patio doors and onto the lawn where a large pink facecloth sat on the grass.
It's reminded me of a joke...
A girl living with her parents invites her boyfriend in late at night.
The boyfriend suddenly asks her where the toilet is because he's desperate to go.
"It's upstairs", she says, "but you can't go up there in case my parents hear you. Just do it in the kitchen sink and I'll wait in the front room".
A few minutes later the boyfriend returns...
"Did you manage okay?"
"Yes, just about, but have you got any toilet paper?"
A very tricky problem. My dump location of choice is always my own home. If I have to do this elsewhere e.g. work I will spend ages trying to find an empty set of toilets. If that s not possible then I resort to putting lots of toilet paper down the loo first to disguise the 'plop' and prevent any marks.
Absolute classic!! I'd forgot about that thread. I'm sniggering away like a kid now
My cistern is slow and almost silent. The flush is also quite quick. Thankfully most of my turds can do dives better than Tom Daley so no Godzilla tidal waves in there.
Shouldn't it be known as 'Leaving a dump' rather than 'Taking a dump'....??!?!? You're not actually 'taking' anything are you? You are 'leaving' your 'dump', crap, or whatever so surely, the phrase needs to be 'Leaving a dump'....?!!!!
She often recalls the time my brother was in there having a rather painful poo whilst she and a guest sat there listening to his rather loud evacuation through a very thin wall (as they discovered that day
When looking for their current house, one criteria was that there be no downstairs loo
Torpedo away?
The 2 dudes go to the 1st dude's girlfriend's house but then dude 1's stomach drops (after dude #2 deliberately spikes dude #1's drink with laxatives a few hours earlier) and desperately needs to use the loo. So, reluctantly, as to not totally embarrass his new girlfriend, he goes into the bathroom, sits on the loo and lets rip....!!!
His girlfriend then calls out something like, '....hey, don;t use the loo - its broken as it won't flush!!!!!! '
However, crapping ones pants in someone else's house isn't socially acceptable.
Aha, but then after you flush again at the end of your dump you're left with people thinking you must have dropped a mammoth Richard the III to have required a double flush. You'll soon be known as 'Big-jobbie-Welsh-lad'.
The more common splash-reduction technique is to strategically place 3 sheets of paper on the water surface to act as a crash mat meaning the 1st log is safely enveloped in the tissue and breaks the fall of all other logs which follow.
Sounds like talk radio has been listening to macc lads songs from the 80's (check out the lyrics to Dans Big Log)