There is no dilemma, none at all. Any mother should put themselves through any hell if it's in the best interests of their child. Unfortunately, some don't.
There is obviously some sort of controlling or dysfunctional relationship going on if authorities are thinking the mother is being used as they do.
I'm in favour of them removing the child, the risk is too great. You can't sit back and see if he's going to hurt the baby!
You wouldn't see me for dust. Did she conceive AFTER finding out about his past? Why would anyone do that? Crazy. The child would always come first. Anyone allowing their child to live in the same house as someone who has committed child sex offences is complicit if anything happens to that child in my view.
Ah right, thanks for the reply. I see the troll is now inactive too.
Not sure what happened there. I lost my internet connection when I switched to my phone (bloody thing) so don't know if anything more dramatic happened while I couldn't get on or if it was just down to the conversation we were having beforehand.
If it was the latter I'm surprised. People might have disagreed with the poster but I don't think he broke T&Cs. Shame that.
Anyway I'll say no more or it'll be pruned again. I think I've been party to keeping the thread off topic enough.
Not sure what happened there. I lost my internet connection when I switched to my phone (bloody thing) so don't know if anything more dramatic happened while I couldn't get on or if it was just down to the conversation we were having beforehand.
If it was the latter I'm surprised. People might have disagreed with the poster but I don't think he broke T&Cs. Shame that.
Anyway I'll say no more or it'll be pruned again. I think I've been party to keeping the thread off topic enough.
BIB - Agree with that.
Didn't see anything dramatic happen, it seemed reasonably civilised. Noticed that poster go inactive, then tried to post and got the message screen saying that I cannot access thread (pruning must have been in progress)
I'm ashamed to say, I am related to somebody whose second husband abused her two children from her first marriage. Another family relative raised the alarm and he was convicted. As soon as he was out of prison she went straight back to him and continued to sleep with him and get pregnant by him again. He continued to abuse the kids. I feel ashamed of my relative but sorry for the kids. It's a very awkward position to be in. She claims it was the local religious community that encouraged her to go back to him.
I'm ashamed to say, I am related to somebody whose second husband abused her two children from her first marriage. Another family relative raised the alarm and he was convicted. As soon as he was out of prison she went straight back to him and continued to sleep with him and get pregnant by him again. He continued to abuse the kids. I feel ashamed of my relative but sorry for the kids. It's a very awkward position to be in. She claims it was the local religious community that encouraged her to go back to him.
I hate her.[/QUOTE]
I do not blame you for hating her - what a really horrible story that is.
Anyway I'll say no more or it'll be pruned again. I think I've been party to keeping the thread off topic enough.
I think I was answering a question you asked me when I couldn't post anymore. I just wanted to say, it's early days in the tests, but if the results are consistently hopeful, then I think we should be able to have a discussion on whether what I was talking about should be made legal or not.
Hmm and if you've no idea what I'm on about, it may not have been you that asked.
Any woman who finds out that her husband/boyfriend's a paedophile, she should end their relationship or get a divorce. Even if he's succeeded in not giving in to his urges, there'd be too much of a risk by allowing him to stay in the house she's in. I can't understand any woman that's got underage children that allows their partner to stay after it's revealed that they're a paedophile.
She should do, in theory, I agree. But c'mon, life is a tad more complicated than that. In the case of this woman, as with many others, personal feelings outweigh commonsense, and that is where the dilemma comes into play
It's not a dilemma for anybody on here, as logic dictates they keep the child and ditch the nonce. But it is a dilemma for her, as her emotions are heavily involved. Posters calling her a stupid cow is stupid in itself, as it reflects a total lack of empathy with the way she feels at the moment, and merely a beacon of what the poster thinks. The dilemma is hers, and that was what the question was all about. Obviously it's not a dilemma for anybody speaking from cold detachment.
Maybe a better question might be, how do you persuade her to ditch the husband and keep the baby ?
Maybe a better question might be, how do you persuade her to ditch the husband and keep the baby ?
I think the dilemma should've been resolved when they were deciding whether or not to have a baby, they planned it and knew this was a possible outcome.
Now IMO although she may not be getting any sympathy from me, as I still think she went in already choosing her man, and having crossed fingers that she could have the cake and eat it, I neglected to say if the bf had any ounce of dignity/ compassion/ humanity he would leave, and keep in contact and visitation as social services required until he could prove himself not to be a risk. So I've got some tomatoes to throw that way too.
I think the dilemma should've been resolved when they were deciding whether or not to have a baby, they planned it and knew this was a possible outcome.
Now IMO although she may not be getting any sympathy from me, as I still think she went in already choosing her man, and having crossed fingers that she could have the cake and eat it, I neglected to say if the bf had any ounce of dignity/ compassion/ humanity he would leave, and keep in contact and visitation as social services required until he could prove himself not to be a risk. So I've got some tomatoes to throw that way too.
Good points, although again it pre-supposes they are thinking sensibly and logocally.
Good points, although again it pre-supposes they are thinking sensibly and logocally.
But the article sort of hints that they were, they had reservations because of possible social services involvement, so the flags were already up, they just chose to ignore them and go ahead. Now she's making out it's some sort of Sophie's Choice. Neither of them are facing death, and you desperately wanted the baby, so it's not really a dilemma, just an obvious answer that you don't want to admit to yourself.
Which is where her fella should man up and do the decent thing. Or give the baby up, if you can't make up your mind for your child on this, then perhaps you shouldn't have children. (Yes that's incredibly harsh, but that's mostly intentional).
He could have just kept quiet about his past, and Social Services wouldn't have known or become involved (or do they routinely do CRB type checks on couples, where the woman is expecting or had a child ? not sure about this)
We are supposed to be informed by other authorities, the police or probation when the partner of a sex offender has a child. Doesnt always happen and so when it comes to light the child might be 5 or something and then you have to start the investigation.
Its a common situation to deal with and unfortunately there are many mums who will choose their partner over their children's safety.
She should do, in theory, I agree. But c'mon, life is a tad more complicated than that. In the case of this woman, as with many others, personal feelings outweigh commonsense, and that is where the dilemma comes into play
It's not a dilemma for anybody on here, as logic dictates they keep the child and ditch the nonce. But it is a dilemma for her, as her emotions are heavily involved. Posters calling her a stupid cow is stupid in itself, as it reflects a total lack of empathy with the way she feels at the moment, and merely a beacon of what the poster thinks. The dilemma is hers, and that was what the question was all about. Obviously it's not a dilemma for anybody speaking from cold detachment.
Maybe a better question might be, how do you persuade her to ditch the husband and keep the baby ?
I'd imagine the shock of finding out your partner's a paedophile would be enough for a lot of people to end their relationship with them. I think there would be some incredibly weak people out there who would put their partner before their child/children. I'm not saying it should be an easy decision to make, because obviously you'd feel absolutely gutted at having to tell your partner that you wanted them to leave, but I'd imagine that a LOT of women/men would force themselves to throw their paedophile partner out of their house, especially if they had underage kids.
I'd imagine the shock of finding out your partner's a paedophile would be enough for a lot of people to end their relationship with them. I think there would be some incredibly weak people out there who would put their partner before their child/children. I'm not saying it should be an easy decision to make, because obviously you'd feel absolutely gutted at having to tell your partner that you wanted them to leave, but I'd imagine that a LOT of women/men would force themselves to throw their paedophile partner out of their house, especially if they had underage kids.
These people are very manipulative and search out vulnerable women. especially those who already have young children.
the father of a friend was convicted of sexually assaulting three girls [neighbours but not of same families] across three generations, there was plenty of evidence in proof but he plead not guilty and has never admitted it and the whole [lovely] family continues to deny belief in it.
These people are very manipulative and search out vulnerable women. especially those who already have young children.
This is what happens. So while it doesn't excuse the woman puttig him before her child it is more than likely she wasn't 100% mentally stable to start with. That's why he will have chosen her.
The woman I know who married a paedophile is a very mentally unstable person. She was manipulated by him. She had the support of a very strong family who closed ranks around her and dealt with him and all his lies. It still took a great amount of effort of their part to have the situation resolved. Without them it is entirely possible she would have put him first too.
It is not a horrible dilemma in the slightest. The fact that she chose to be with a pedophlle after finding out about it is disgusting and he should be deeply ashamed of herself.
Comments
There is obviously some sort of controlling or dysfunctional relationship going on if authorities are thinking the mother is being used as they do.
I'm in favour of them removing the child, the risk is too great. You can't sit back and see if he's going to hurt the baby!
It was actually 6 pages long, the mods decided to trim it.
Ah right, thanks for the reply. I see the troll is now inactive too.
Not sure what happened there. I lost my internet connection when I switched to my phone (bloody thing) so don't know if anything more dramatic happened while I couldn't get on or if it was just down to the conversation we were having beforehand.
If it was the latter I'm surprised. People might have disagreed with the poster but I don't think he broke T&Cs. Shame that.
Anyway I'll say no more or it'll be pruned again. I think I've been party to keeping the thread off topic enough.
No love should be greater than the love you have for your child.. Husband or no husband
BIB - Agree with that.
Didn't see anything dramatic happen, it seemed reasonably civilised. Noticed that poster go inactive, then tried to post and got the message screen saying that I cannot access thread (pruning must have been in progress)
There is no way on this earth I'd choose a man like that over my baby! No dilemma, not a second's doubt.
I hate her.
I think I was answering a question you asked me when I couldn't post anymore. I just wanted to say, it's early days in the tests, but if the results are consistently hopeful, then I think we should be able to have a discussion on whether what I was talking about should be made legal or not.
Hmm and if you've no idea what I'm on about, it may not have been you that asked.
She should do, in theory, I agree. But c'mon, life is a tad more complicated than that. In the case of this woman, as with many others, personal feelings outweigh commonsense, and that is where the dilemma comes into play
It's not a dilemma for anybody on here, as logic dictates they keep the child and ditch the nonce. But it is a dilemma for her, as her emotions are heavily involved. Posters calling her a stupid cow is stupid in itself, as it reflects a total lack of empathy with the way she feels at the moment, and merely a beacon of what the poster thinks. The dilemma is hers, and that was what the question was all about. Obviously it's not a dilemma for anybody speaking from cold detachment.
Maybe a better question might be, how do you persuade her to ditch the husband and keep the baby ?
I think the dilemma should've been resolved when they were deciding whether or not to have a baby, they planned it and knew this was a possible outcome.
Now IMO although she may not be getting any sympathy from me, as I still think she went in already choosing her man, and having crossed fingers that she could have the cake and eat it, I neglected to say if the bf had any ounce of dignity/ compassion/ humanity he would leave, and keep in contact and visitation as social services required until he could prove himself not to be a risk. So I've got some tomatoes to throw that way too.
Disclaimer: men too
Good points, although again it pre-supposes they are thinking sensibly and logocally.
But the article sort of hints that they were, they had reservations because of possible social services involvement, so the flags were already up, they just chose to ignore them and go ahead. Now she's making out it's some sort of Sophie's Choice. Neither of them are facing death, and you desperately wanted the baby, so it's not really a dilemma, just an obvious answer that you don't want to admit to yourself.
Which is where her fella should man up and do the decent thing. Or give the baby up, if you can't make up your mind for your child on this, then perhaps you shouldn't have children. (Yes that's incredibly harsh, but that's mostly intentional).
We are supposed to be informed by other authorities, the police or probation when the partner of a sex offender has a child. Doesnt always happen and so when it comes to light the child might be 5 or something and then you have to start the investigation.
Its a common situation to deal with and unfortunately there are many mums who will choose their partner over their children's safety.
I'd imagine the shock of finding out your partner's a paedophile would be enough for a lot of people to end their relationship with them. I think there would be some incredibly weak people out there who would put their partner before their child/children. I'm not saying it should be an easy decision to make, because obviously you'd feel absolutely gutted at having to tell your partner that you wanted them to leave, but I'd imagine that a LOT of women/men would force themselves to throw their paedophile partner out of their house, especially if they had underage kids.
These people are very manipulative and search out vulnerable women. especially those who already have young children.
the father of a friend was convicted of sexually assaulting three girls [neighbours but not of same families] across three generations, there was plenty of evidence in proof but he plead not guilty and has never admitted it and the whole [lovely] family continues to deny belief in it.
This is what happens. So while it doesn't excuse the woman puttig him before her child it is more than likely she wasn't 100% mentally stable to start with. That's why he will have chosen her.
The woman I know who married a paedophile is a very mentally unstable person. She was manipulated by him. She had the support of a very strong family who closed ranks around her and dealt with him and all his lies. It still took a great amount of effort of their part to have the situation resolved. Without them it is entirely possible she would have put him first too.