Sorry folks, not only do I appear to have posted the wrong words, but also in the wrong place! Jeez. I really never thought that this post would cause so much offence. Did it upset you that much?
Stupid wheelie, I do appreciate you bothering to find out information. However, I have coped with this for many years and my reason for posting this thread was to vent and to express that I generally feel trapped by EVERYTHING that is happening concurrently, not necessarily one thing. That said, as you rightly point out, this is an Advice thread. The advice I would require, if any, would be advice on how to cope with with multiple stresses.
Try reading the title - 'Trapped and exhausted... what to do? '
Anyway, I'm off I'm giving up on Advice for a while.
Thanks for that, but I'm perfectly capable of reading, thank you
Sorry, OP, for derailing the thread somewhat. I would take tenorlady's advice in the short time, go and curl up with something trashy and something tasty - a marriage made in heaven!
Thanks for that, but I'm perfectly capable of reading, thank you
Sorry, OP, for derailing the thread somewhat. I would take tenorlady's advice in the short time, go and curl up with something trashy and something tasty - a marriage made in heaven!
Lol ok, will do.
Sorry again folks, will think twice in future!
Thanks again to ALL that messaged with kindness xxx
Thanks again to ALL that messaged with kindness xxx
My advice was the best:) Wine, trashy novel, silly film, and perhaps a bit of fooling around under the duvet with the other half later on? It works for me;)
My advice was the best:) Wine, trashy novel, silly film, and perhaps a bit of fooling around under the duvet with the other half later on? It works for me;)
A couple of posters getting arsey & needy in someone else's advice thread?? Seriously?
I can't quite believe that one poster had a strop because the OP used an acronym he/she didn't recognise & another had a strop because the OP didn't immediately thank him/her for his post.
Creating more hassle for an OP who clearly states she's exhausted in the thread title.
I don't know what you should do OP because I've never been in your situation with anything like the level of responsiblity you're dealing with. But when stressed I try to detach inwardly & try & trust that what will be will be & accept that one can't fix everyone & everything.
Making sure your partner understands that you are are the limit of what you can cope with is really important too.
I need to vent I think. I am having such a stressful time at the moment.
I am worried about my son and my ability to cope with him. He has CDD and is struggling at the moment. I also have ongoing problems with my Dad, which I have posted about before, he is kind of up at the moment but been on suicide watch in recent weeks. my gran is also really ill and frail :-(
Added to that, my partner has a little boy and he is staying with us for 6 days of the week and he is really disrupting my family. I have spoken to both of them about this but it always seems to end in an argument, I cant be bothered with arguing. I just feel that the work that I put into this family isnt appreciated and sometimes I want to run away. Rant over! :-(
Your partner's little boy is living in your home for six days of the week so rather than disrupting your family, he is part of your family isn't he? If he's disruptive is it because he doesn't feel like he is part of the family? Can't be easy if his mum doesn't want him, he's packed off to live with dad, his girlfriend and her 3 kids and he senses that all he is, is a 'disruption' to your family?
What an unsympathetic horrible person you must be. So instead of accepting that lecturing someone on their language when they are clearly low is not a nice thing to do, you actually trawl through my threads to find fault!!! You didnt 'notice' this at all, you went searching for another post of mine to somehow PROVE that you are right. You be shallow and very insecure. You may also rest assured that you can offer me no advice that I would care to listen to.
I am sorry but the poster has a point what does "the SenCo" mean?
A couple of posters getting arsey & needy in someone else's advice thread?? Seriously?
I can't quite believe that one poster had a strop because the OP used an acronym he/she didn't recognise & another had a strop because the OP didn't immediately thank him/her for his post.
Creating more hassle for an OP who clearly states she's exhausted in the thread title.
I don't know what you should do OP because I've never been in your situation with anything like the level of responsiblity you're dealing with. But when stressed I try to detach inwardly & try & trust that what will be will be & accept that one can't fix everyone & everything.
Making sure your partner understands that you are are the limit of what you can cope with is really important too.
Anyway, good luck x
If that's aimed at me, I didn't want thanks I just don't want to waste my time looking for help for some one asking what to do? Who then gets narky and says they didn't really want advice.
Your partner's little boy is living in your home for six days of the week so rather than disrupting your family, he is part of your family isn't he? If he's disruptive is it because he doesn't feel like he is part of the family? Can't be easy if his mum doesn't want him, he's packed off to live with dad, his girlfriend and her 3 kids and he senses that all he is, is a 'disruption' to your family?
No he isn't disruptive in that way. He steals and hits and lies and has done this from the days when we only saw him once a week. I do have a great relationship with him and we are very close but i do have to put my children first and his own mother does need to step up to the mark
A couple of posters getting arsey & needy in someone else's advice thread?? Seriously?
I can't quite believe that one poster had a strop because the OP used an acronym he/she didn't recognise & another had a strop because the OP didn't immediately thank him/her for his post.
Creating more hassle for an OP who clearly states she's exhausted in the thread title.
I don't know what you should do OP because I've never been in your situation with anything like the level of responsiblity you're dealing with. But when stressed I try to detach inwardly & try & trust that what will be will be & accept that one can't fix everyone & everything.
Making sure your partner understands that you are are the limit of what you can cope with is really important too.
No he isn't disruptive in that way. He steals and hits and lies and has done this from the days when we only saw him once a week. I do have a great relationship with him and we are very close but i do have to put my children first and his own mother does need to step up to the mark
Just wondering if he picks up on this. Does he feel like he is second best to your biological kids ?
Um cultureman, I wasnt trying to do myself any favours. I actually came on here for support. Complex Developmental Disorder. In his case it is Aspergers, ADHD and Dyspraxia combined.
i
hey- my son has the same three diagnosis- well almost he's autistic ADHD and dyspraxia
You can't help feeling stressed, it's an honest emotion. Discussing it is good and doesn't make you a bad parent, in fact the opposite IMO.
I put a post on here a few weeks ago about feeling overwhelmed with my children, doesn't mean I wouldn't go to the ends of the earth for them, I just needed an anonymous rant!
Listen to the kind posters and don't let the pathetic ones make you even more stressed
couple of thoughts - is your son in SEN school or mainstream?
does he see CAMHS?
do you get any support, either from a NAS support group or for example where I live there is a drop in session weekly for parents of SEN kids needed just to chat and share
your partners son, if hes having problems is he seeing CAMHS or can he be referred? would family therapy be an option
also - do you and your partner get any time alone to just be a couple?
(for the people who hate abreviations-
SEN - special educational needs
NAS - national autism society
CAMHS - children and adolescent mental health services)
Um cultureman, I wasnt trying to do myself any favours. I actually came on here for support. Complex Developmental Disorder. In his case it is Aspergers, ADHD and Dyspraxia combined.
It isnt my partner who is disrupting the family it is his son, sorry if that wasnt clear. He is with us because his mother has decided that she has better things to do. I already have three children.
Martin, actually I have been fighting for a diagnosis for about 6 years. My son is nearly 13. Lovely, funny and kind but has some issues.
Children need stability. Usually when kids cause problems, they are having difficulty fitting in and as if they were an outsider.
Dyspraxia and other developmental difficulties can also make a person feel that they too are outsiders and that they are different.
Patience is the key. The older your son gets, hopefully, he will get used to his body and how to control it better.
Puberty may well be difficult for him and that will need a lot of help and advice as it can well be scary and puberty isn't often discussed or spoken about. I would hate for a child to have to go through puberty alone especially with developmental issues.
My Mum used to shout at me and so did school teachers. At the time dyspraxia wasn't known fully and I was simply labelled "clumsy". These days there is a lot of advice and help for parents and children living with dyspraxia especially written by people who had trouble with it while growing up.
These days I can do most things if not all things if I put my mind to it and concentrate. It does get better,although my mother still worries as I still find certain new situations difficult to cope with but once I have encountered an issue, I can have a point of reference to think back to.
Children need to be aware of this when they are little. It makes life a lot easier.
No he isn't disruptive in that way. He steals and hits and lies and has done this from the days when we only saw him once a week. I do have a great relationship with him and we are very close but i do have to put my children first and his own mother does need to step up to the mark
The poor child feels out of place and unloved.
Ideally he needs help with relationships and emotional attachments.
He obviously isn't coping very well with the upheavals and changes in his life and the more his issues are not properly sorted out as early as possible, he is going to see it as normal behaviour and enter into adulthood as a very angry and aggressive young man.
If his own mother does sod all for him, ideally, it is up to you and his father to get to the root of the trouble quickly with family counselling.
Just wondering if he picks up on this. Does he feel like he is second best to your biological kids ?
I honestly don't know. I hope not. He sees me more than both his parents at the moment and we are very close. Its not down to me to sort this tho, i guess i am wanting my partner to step up to the mark.
You can't help feeling stressed, it's an honest emotion. Discussing it is good and doesn't make you a bad parent, in fact the opposite IMO.
I put a post on here a few weeks ago about feeling overwhelmed with my children, doesn't mean I wouldn't go to the ends of the earth for them, I just needed an anonymous rant!
Listen to the kind posters and don't let the pathetic ones make you even more stressed
Children need stability. Usually when kids cause problems, they are having difficulty fitting in and as if they were an outsider.
Dyspraxia and other developmental difficulties can also make a person feel that they too are outsiders and that they are different.
Patience is the key. The older your son gets, hopefully, he will get used to his body and how to control it better.
Puberty may well be difficult for him and that will need a lot of help and advice as it can well be scary and puberty isn't often discussed or spoken about. I would hate for a child to have to go through puberty alone especially with developmental issues.
My Mum used to shout at me and so did school teachers. At the time dyspraxia wasn't known fully and I was simply labelled "clumsy". These days there is a lot of advice and help for parents and children living with dyspraxia especially written by people who had trouble with it while growing up.
These days I can do most things if not all things if I put my mind to it and concentrate. It does get better,although my mother still worries as I still find certain new situations difficult to cope with but once I have encountered an issue, I can have a point of reference to think back to.
Children need to be aware of this when they are little. It makes life a lot easier.
hi Stud. this is a really interesting post, as mentioned my son has dyspraxia as well as autism and ADHD - I have found even his teachers have very very little knowledge of it - he obviously has problems like the other kids wont let him play football at break with them, he veers towards people when walking all the time, constantly steps on toes - all things which help to target him for bullies. I tried kung fu for him to help spacial awareness which helped a little.
although I have found books for him aimed at his age group (10) on ADHD and autism, never managed to find one on dyspraxia....
Comments
Stupid wheelie, I do appreciate you bothering to find out information. However, I have coped with this for many years and my reason for posting this thread was to vent and to express that I generally feel trapped by EVERYTHING that is happening concurrently, not necessarily one thing. That said, as you rightly point out, this is an Advice thread. The advice I would require, if any, would be advice on how to cope with with multiple stresses.
Thanks for that, but I'm perfectly capable of reading, thank you
Sorry, OP, for derailing the thread somewhat. I would take tenorlady's advice in the short time, go and curl up with something trashy and something tasty - a marriage made in heaven!
Lol ok, will do.
Sorry again folks, will think twice in future!
Thanks again to ALL that messaged with kindness xxx
There are ways of saying things. There's really no need to be rude about it.
You say there's no need to answer how would I phrase it, but clearly there is, as you don't have a clue.
"Could you tell us what the abbreviations mean please OP"
There that's not difficult is it?
Best wishes to the OP. Sorry, I haven't any other advice, but there's already some good advice posted.
Thanks hun :-)
Oh if I must lol ;-)
I can't quite believe that one poster had a strop because the OP used an acronym he/she didn't recognise & another had a strop because the OP didn't immediately thank him/her for his post.
Creating more hassle for an OP who clearly states she's exhausted in the thread title.
I don't know what you should do OP because I've never been in your situation with anything like the level of responsiblity you're dealing with. But when stressed I try to detach inwardly & try & trust that what will be will be & accept that one can't fix everyone & everything.
Making sure your partner understands that you are are the limit of what you can cope with is really important too.
Anyway, good luck x
Your partner's little boy is living in your home for six days of the week so rather than disrupting your family, he is part of your family isn't he? If he's disruptive is it because he doesn't feel like he is part of the family? Can't be easy if his mum doesn't want him, he's packed off to live with dad, his girlfriend and her 3 kids and he senses that all he is, is a 'disruption' to your family?
I am sorry but the poster has a point what does "the SenCo" mean?
Ooh ooh I know (because my daughter had one at Primary) Special educational needs co ordinator.
If that's aimed at me, I didn't want thanks I just don't want to waste my time looking for help for some one asking what to do? Who then gets narky and says they didn't really want advice.
Thank you. Lovely post :-)
Just wondering if he picks up on this. Does he feel like he is second best to your biological kids ?
hey- my son has the same three diagnosis- well almost he's autistic ADHD and dyspraxia
I put a post on here a few weeks ago about feeling overwhelmed with my children, doesn't mean I wouldn't go to the ends of the earth for them, I just needed an anonymous rant!
Listen to the kind posters and don't let the pathetic ones make you even more stressed
does he see CAMHS?
do you get any support, either from a NAS support group or for example where I live there is a drop in session weekly for parents of SEN kids needed just to chat and share
your partners son, if hes having problems is he seeing CAMHS or can he be referred? would family therapy be an option
also - do you and your partner get any time alone to just be a couple?
(for the people who hate abreviations-
SEN - special educational needs
NAS - national autism society
CAMHS - children and adolescent mental health services)
Children need stability. Usually when kids cause problems, they are having difficulty fitting in and as if they were an outsider.
Dyspraxia and other developmental difficulties can also make a person feel that they too are outsiders and that they are different.
Patience is the key. The older your son gets, hopefully, he will get used to his body and how to control it better.
Puberty may well be difficult for him and that will need a lot of help and advice as it can well be scary and puberty isn't often discussed or spoken about. I would hate for a child to have to go through puberty alone especially with developmental issues.
My Mum used to shout at me and so did school teachers. At the time dyspraxia wasn't known fully and I was simply labelled "clumsy". These days there is a lot of advice and help for parents and children living with dyspraxia especially written by people who had trouble with it while growing up.
These days I can do most things if not all things if I put my mind to it and concentrate. It does get better,although my mother still worries as I still find certain new situations difficult to cope with but once I have encountered an issue, I can have a point of reference to think back to.
Children need to be aware of this when they are little. It makes life a lot easier.
The poor child feels out of place and unloved.
Ideally he needs help with relationships and emotional attachments.
He obviously isn't coping very well with the upheavals and changes in his life and the more his issues are not properly sorted out as early as possible, he is going to see it as normal behaviour and enter into adulthood as a very angry and aggressive young man.
If his own mother does sod all for him, ideally, it is up to you and his father to get to the root of the trouble quickly with family counselling.
I honestly don't know. I hope not. He sees me more than both his parents at the moment and we are very close. Its not down to me to sort this tho, i guess i am wanting my partner to step up to the mark.
Really? I would love to talk to other parents of children with this. There isn't much help available to be honest.
hi Stud. this is a really interesting post, as mentioned my son has dyspraxia as well as autism and ADHD - I have found even his teachers have very very little knowledge of it - he obviously has problems like the other kids wont let him play football at break with them, he veers towards people when walking all the time, constantly steps on toes - all things which help to target him for bullies. I tried kung fu for him to help spacial awareness which helped a little.
although I have found books for him aimed at his age group (10) on ADHD and autism, never managed to find one on dyspraxia....
sorry OP, for the small hijack