If its an occasional arrangement, then I would not expect any "renumeration" but would expect the favour to be reciprocated if the situation occurred, or if the person does not drive/own a car, a favour of another nature (e.g. babysitting).
However, if it appears to be more of a long term arrangement, then I would expect a significant contribution to the petrol money. I would also expect them to be ready by an agreed time, and in return they would expect me to turn up by that time. That is pretty much how the car sharing schemes at my place of work operate.
This whole attitude seems incredibly mean spirited to me! If the lift is being given to someone who is on the route then no extra cost is being incurred and no contribution should be sought. The very idea of doing favours on the basis that they will be reciprocated seem to negate the concept of doing a favour. If you are doing it purely for the quid pro quo, then it's not a favour it's a trade and that should be made clear so the other person realises that there are expectations attached.
However I actually do have complete sympathy with the being on time requirement, and actually have a fair amount of sympathy for those who just don't want to share that time in the car with someone else at all.
This whole attitude seems incredibly mean spirited to me! If the lift is being given to someone who is on the route then no extra cost is being incurred and no contribution should be sought. The very idea of doing favours on the basis that they will be reciprocated seem to negate the concept of doing a favour. If you are doing it purely for the quid pro quo, then it's not a favour it's a trade and that should be made clear so the other person realises that there are expectations attached.
However I actually do have complete sympathy with the being on time requirement, and actually have a fair amount of sympathy for those who just don't want to share that time in the car with someone else at all.
How is it mean? If you get a lift everyday for work, you should offer petrol money as that's only right. I car share with someone at work but one of us drives one week, then the other next. If the guy didn't have a car then he would give me petrol money instead.
I did this once for a little while but tbh I found that I enjoyed having the driving to and from work alone. So once the other person moved on I didn't look to car share again.
So many people make the mistake of offering work colleagues lifts, when really all they want to do is show off their new car or try and impress them by showing them how good a driver they are.
Once you offer someone a lift they will expect it every day, and rightly so because its you that offered in the first place.
I mean, if you stop for someone standing at a bus stop it would be a bit mean to just simply drive past them the next day wouldn't it?
This whole attitude seems incredibly mean spirited to me! If the lift is being given to someone who is on the route then no extra cost is being incurred and no contribution should be sought. The very idea of doing favours on the basis that they will be reciprocated seem to negate the concept of doing a favour. If you are doing it purely for the quid pro quo, then it's not a favour it's a trade and that should be made clear so the other person realises that there are expectations attached.
However I actually do have complete sympathy with the being on time requirement, and actually have a fair amount of sympathy for those who just don't want to share that time in the car with someone else at all.
The extra weight in the car will mean that more fuel will be used. So there is additional cost though it may be small depending on the mileage done
I'm all for doing the odd favour but In this case the favours seems to be all one way.
This whole attitude seems incredibly mean spirited to me! If the lift is being given to someone who is on the route then no extra cost is being incurred and no contribution should be sought. The very idea of doing favours on the basis that they will be reciprocated seem to negate the concept of doing a favour. If you are doing it purely for the quid pro quo, then it's not a favour it's a trade and that should be made clear so the other person realises that there are expectations attached.
However I actually do have complete sympathy with the being on time requirement, and actually have a fair amount of sympathy for those who just don't want to share that time in the car with someone else at all.
You've got the nail on the head there. I often give people a lift from work to the station, but only because it's on my way home and I certainly don't charge them, but it's on my terms - if I leave the office I won't hang around too long etc.
I could never do it like a taxi service - turn up at theirs at a certain time and go out of my way without some remuneration. Not only because they all live miles out from where I drive, I just prefer to have the morning journey to myself.
This whole attitude seems incredibly mean spirited to me! If the lift is being given to someone who is on the route then no extra cost is being incurred and no contribution should be sought. The very idea of doing favours on the basis that they will be reciprocated seem to negate the concept of doing a favour. If you are doing it purely for the quid pro quo, then it's not a favour it's a trade and that should be made clear so the other person realises that there are expectations attached.
However I actually do have complete sympathy with the being on time requirement, and actually have a fair amount of sympathy for those who just don't want to share that time in the car with someone else at all.
Why should I pay £100+ a month petrol and someone else get to work for nothing?! I'm not doing it for two months I'm on annual leave week after next so he will have to get there himself and ill just mention that I'm struggling to get to him on time with faffing around with a toddler and it's best he makes his own way there.
Why should I pay £100+ a month petrol and someone else get to work for nothing?! I'm not doing it for two months I'm on annual leave week after next so he will have to get there himself and ill just mention that I'm struggling to get to him on time with faffing around with a toddler and it's best he makes his own way there.
"It's fine, I don't mind waiting for you" < could well be his reply. It's best to be honest I think in situations like this.
This whole attitude seems incredibly mean spirited to me! If the lift is being given to someone who is on the route then no extra cost is being incurred and no contribution should be sought. The very idea of doing favours on the basis that they will be reciprocated seem to negate the concept of doing a favour. If you are doing it purely for the quid pro quo, then it's not a favour it's a trade and that should be made clear so the other person realises that there are expectations attached.
That's all very well and fair as long as the person receiving the benefit of the favour realises it's a favour. In a lot of the stories here the person getting the lift quickly gets into the habit of taking the fact its a favour for granted. That's the point it generally becomes a problem between the two.
I give an occasional lift to or from work to a colleague.
We work shifts but are on a different pattern so the opportunity is rare.
It's more a favour to his wife and daughter as he doesn't drive but can always get to/from work if nobody else offers a lift, with his wife. But that means she has to leave home at 5:30am with the child to take or meet him.
It adds about 5 minutes to a 20 minute journey for me to detour by his. Insignificant compared to the 40+ minutes each journey costs his wife,
This whole attitude seems incredibly mean spirited to me! If the lift is being given to someone who is on the route then no extra cost is being incurred and no contribution should be sought. The very idea of doing favours on the basis that they will be reciprocated seem to negate the concept of doing a favour. If you are doing it purely for the quid pro quo, then it's not a favour it's a trade and that should be made clear so the other person realises that there are expectations attached.
However I actually do have complete sympathy with the being on time requirement, and actually have a fair amount of sympathy for those who just don't want to share that time in the car with someone else at all.
It is one thing not to expect a payment for an occasional lift to work but when it is regular a payment should be made.
The only excpetion I would make would be someone who was very short of money.
I used to give a lift to someone and this became grinding too - the waiting around for them was the most annoying thing. Eventually the problem solved itself - it was around the time of the last Iraq war, I was vocally opposed to it, her OH was in the forces and saw my opposition as an attack on the forces (which it wasn't, I was opposed to the war not the hard work of our forces) but she took umbrage at my views and decided she preferred the bus. Funny old way of that one sorting itself out.
Quite a few years and several jobs ago I used to lift share with another bloke I worked with who lived about 15 miles from me. One week I'd drive to his house and pick him up, the week after I'd drive to his, park up and get in his car. If I didn't travel with him I'd have gone a totally different way along mostly A roads and motorways, a journey of just over 40 miles E/W.
Anyway he was a PITA and used to complain about my music etc or sometimes I'd have to knock his door at 5 am as he was often late so when I moved to a different town the lifts stopped. When I moved back to my original town 9 months later I never told him so I could still travel alone which frankly suits less than chatty people like me!
It is one thing not to expect a payment for an occasional lift to work but when it is regular a payment should be made.
The only excpetion I would make would be someone who was very short of money.
If that is the expectation then it should be made explicit. There is no point bitching about the fact someone hasn't offered money if it hasn't been asked for. In none of the cases posted had a payment been asked for and refused, people seem to be cross that money hasn't been volunteered.
Truth is there are two schools of thought on this, those who wouldn't dream of asking for cash because they view what they are doing as a favour (the concept of which doesn't include payment) and those who do want payment because they are offering a lift (which they view as a service). I'm not going to claim that one view is more appropriate than the other, but I do think that it is silly not to be up front about which of these two scenarios is playing out and then being cross that the other party is responding inappropriately.
Speaking as someone who doesn't drive, I think it's incredibly rude to accept a lift somewhere and not offer petrol money or at least be incredibly grateful that someone is helping you out.
If I'm working with another carer in the morning for my first few jobs, the car driver has to drive the walking carer from the first job to the next. We're both getting paid the same, but they're using their petrol money to drive us both there. And 99% of the time, the carer will give me a lift to my next job after that (even though we're both going our separate ways, and even though they have no obligation to.) I'm always very conscious to offer them petrol money and make sure they know how grateful I am, especially since the job we do costs the drivers a fortune in petrol, not to mention the fact they're simply being kind by driving me to my next job. And a lot of the time, my next job is out of their way and they're taking a detour to drop me off.
It's also incredibly rude to expect a lift every day, purely because someone has been kind enough to give you a lift several times in the past. It's sad that some people will take advantage of someone's kindness and expect them to do it every day. No wonder some drivers get irritated and stressed when they're basically being used as a taxi driver by inconsiderate people who don't even appreciate it.
I have given people lifts to work and back in the past when it worked out as convienent for everyone involved. I'm not a morning person so didn't really like having to make small talk, but the £20 a week petrol money came in very handy.
There is absolutely no way that you should be giving someone a regular lift without a contribution towards petrol.
I used to share the driving with my next door neighbour who worked in the building next to where I worked, would never have asked for expenses(even if she didn't drive)as her husband used to pretty much maintain my car, tyres oil (including changes)anti freeze, fill washer bottles, he even used to scrape the ice off first thing in the winter .....Best neighbours I ever had!
So many people make the mistake of offering work colleagues lifts, when really all they want to do is show off their new car or try and impress them by showing them how good a driver they are.
Once you offer someone a lift they will expect it every day, and rightly so because its you that offered in the first place.
I mean, if you stop for someone standing at a bus stop it would be a bit mean to just simply drive past them the next day wouldn't it?
SIMPLE ANSWER.........DO NOT OFFER LIFTS.
No they don't at all. I'm offered lifts back from work on occassions, I certainly don't expect them. I'm quite happy to travel back on public transport. I have offered money for the lifts back but they don't want any money.
I have got into a situation where I am giving a lift to and from work everyday to a colleague and it's driving me bonkers. I hate the fact I'm expected to be somewhere at a certain time and I hate having to make small talk in a morning. I've not been offered any petrol money and wouldn't ask as its on my way to work but still he gets a free ride. I wish I could just say sorry pal I'm going a different route from now on but he knows I won't because I have to drop my son off. I know it sounds mean but it's really getting me down!!
I totally understand how you feel and sympathise! I got into a 'school run' situation like that a few years ago, where I ended up picking up 3 other kids which took me half an hour before I even got on the road to the school, it was a nightmare! After about a year I eventually said I didn't want to do it and the 3 other parents promptly stopped speaking to me - it was worth it though!
I get a lift to work, I do pay towards the parking costs and it's a bonus to me as it a lot cheaper than catching the train. My problem is the driver is obsessed about work, will talk about it all the way there and all the way back and ignores any attempts to change the subject. I wish he would put the radio on or something, at that time of the morning I just want to take things more calmly.
If you, as the vehicle owner, enter into some kind of lift share agreement, you suddenly lose a lot of flexibility in the hours you can and cannot work.
For example, I might decide to work from home tomorrow. If I was lift sharing, this would not be possible. Ditto if I fancy going home early.
Whilst at work, I might see the need to work late, again not possible if lift sharing. This could impact ones career prospects if you are the only one going home at 5pm when the rest of your office are staying late to get a job done.
Don't get me wrong - sharing the costs of getting too and from work is a great idea, and the money saved will soon mount up - its probably like getting a 5% pay rise in some cases.
Now and then - no problem, but if it is a regular thing then I would expect a contribution to the petrol and parking, or take it in turns to drive each other in.
I used to get a lift into work by one of my managers.. If was nothing but hell. She at first told me she would pick me up at 7.20 in the morning which was fine, until it gradually became 7.30/7.35 but I never complained that she was late
One day, it was hammering it with rain so decided as she had hardly ever picked me up before 7.30 so I would go down then, 7.20 came and I got a very shirty phonecall asking me where I was and that I was making her late and it was not on
Whenever I picked her up, I would tell her to be ready for 7.15 because I like to be at work early before my staff and she never left her house until 7.30, always having an excuse.. Pretty soon after the arrangement started, it ended
I'd just say I have to drop my son off earlier if I was you, or the place he goes to has changed and its no longer on your route to pick him up
When I was having a lift from somebody every day I felt absolutely compelled to give them petrol money.
It wasn't much, and this was a few years ago but I think it was something along the lines of £20 a month, and he gave me a lift in 5 days a week which meant he had to take a tiny detour to go past my house.
OP, don't feel bad at all asking for petrol money. You have every right to receive something if you're giving him a lift every day.
He is the one who should feel bad for being a freeloading so and so.
When I was having a lift from somebody every day I felt absolutely compelled to give them petrol money.
It wasn't much, and this was a few years ago but I think it was something along the lines of £20 a month, and he gave me a lift in 5 days a week which meant he had to take a tiny detour to go past my house.
OP, don't feel bad at all asking for petrol money. You have every right to receive something if you're giving him a lift every day.
He is the one who should feel bad for being a freeloading so and so.
That's exactly what I used to do - I used to get a lift to work 3 days a week (with RDO's that's all I needed) from a guy who lived round the corner. I used to give him £20 a month, if I got caught and stayed late I used to get him to go home and get my OH to pick me up instead. .
Comments
This whole attitude seems incredibly mean spirited to me! If the lift is being given to someone who is on the route then no extra cost is being incurred and no contribution should be sought. The very idea of doing favours on the basis that they will be reciprocated seem to negate the concept of doing a favour. If you are doing it purely for the quid pro quo, then it's not a favour it's a trade and that should be made clear so the other person realises that there are expectations attached.
However I actually do have complete sympathy with the being on time requirement, and actually have a fair amount of sympathy for those who just don't want to share that time in the car with someone else at all.
Once you offer someone a lift they will expect it every day, and rightly so because its you that offered in the first place.
I mean, if you stop for someone standing at a bus stop it would be a bit mean to just simply drive past them the next day wouldn't it?
SIMPLE ANSWER.........DO NOT OFFER LIFTS.
I'm all for doing the odd favour but In this case the favours seems to be all one way.
I could never do it like a taxi service - turn up at theirs at a certain time and go out of my way without some remuneration. Not only because they all live miles out from where I drive, I just prefer to have the morning journey to myself.
Why should I pay £100+ a month petrol and someone else get to work for nothing?! I'm not doing it for two months I'm on annual leave week after next so he will have to get there himself and ill just mention that I'm struggling to get to him on time with faffing around with a toddler and it's best he makes his own way there.
"It's fine, I don't mind waiting for you" < could well be his reply. It's best to be honest I think in situations like this.
That's all very well and fair as long as the person receiving the benefit of the favour realises it's a favour. In a lot of the stories here the person getting the lift quickly gets into the habit of taking the fact its a favour for granted. That's the point it generally becomes a problem between the two.
We work shifts but are on a different pattern so the opportunity is rare.
It's more a favour to his wife and daughter as he doesn't drive but can always get to/from work if nobody else offers a lift, with his wife. But that means she has to leave home at 5:30am with the child to take or meet him.
It adds about 5 minutes to a 20 minute journey for me to detour by his. Insignificant compared to the 40+ minutes each journey costs his wife,
It is one thing not to expect a payment for an occasional lift to work but when it is regular a payment should be made.
The only excpetion I would make would be someone who was very short of money.
Anyway he was a PITA and used to complain about my music etc or sometimes I'd have to knock his door at 5 am as he was often late so when I moved to a different town the lifts stopped. When I moved back to my original town 9 months later I never told him so I could still travel alone which frankly suits less than chatty people like me!
If that is the expectation then it should be made explicit. There is no point bitching about the fact someone hasn't offered money if it hasn't been asked for. In none of the cases posted had a payment been asked for and refused, people seem to be cross that money hasn't been volunteered.
Truth is there are two schools of thought on this, those who wouldn't dream of asking for cash because they view what they are doing as a favour (the concept of which doesn't include payment) and those who do want payment because they are offering a lift (which they view as a service). I'm not going to claim that one view is more appropriate than the other, but I do think that it is silly not to be up front about which of these two scenarios is playing out and then being cross that the other party is responding inappropriately.
If I'm working with another carer in the morning for my first few jobs, the car driver has to drive the walking carer from the first job to the next. We're both getting paid the same, but they're using their petrol money to drive us both there. And 99% of the time, the carer will give me a lift to my next job after that (even though we're both going our separate ways, and even though they have no obligation to.) I'm always very conscious to offer them petrol money and make sure they know how grateful I am, especially since the job we do costs the drivers a fortune in petrol, not to mention the fact they're simply being kind by driving me to my next job. And a lot of the time, my next job is out of their way and they're taking a detour to drop me off.
It's also incredibly rude to expect a lift every day, purely because someone has been kind enough to give you a lift several times in the past. It's sad that some people will take advantage of someone's kindness and expect them to do it every day. No wonder some drivers get irritated and stressed when they're basically being used as a taxi driver by inconsiderate people who don't even appreciate it.
There is absolutely no way that you should be giving someone a regular lift without a contribution towards petrol.
No they don't at all. I'm offered lifts back from work on occassions, I certainly don't expect them. I'm quite happy to travel back on public transport. I have offered money for the lifts back but they don't want any money.
But then some people are nice shhhhhh.
I totally understand how you feel and sympathise! I got into a 'school run' situation like that a few years ago, where I ended up picking up 3 other kids which took me half an hour before I even got on the road to the school, it was a nightmare! After about a year I eventually said I didn't want to do it and the 3 other parents promptly stopped speaking to me - it was worth it though!
For example, I might decide to work from home tomorrow. If I was lift sharing, this would not be possible. Ditto if I fancy going home early.
Whilst at work, I might see the need to work late, again not possible if lift sharing. This could impact ones career prospects if you are the only one going home at 5pm when the rest of your office are staying late to get a job done.
Don't get me wrong - sharing the costs of getting too and from work is a great idea, and the money saved will soon mount up - its probably like getting a 5% pay rise in some cases.
Now and then - no problem, but if it is a regular thing then I would expect a contribution to the petrol and parking, or take it in turns to drive each other in.
One day, it was hammering it with rain so decided as she had hardly ever picked me up before 7.30 so I would go down then, 7.20 came and I got a very shirty phonecall asking me where I was and that I was making her late and it was not on
Whenever I picked her up, I would tell her to be ready for 7.15 because I like to be at work early before my staff and she never left her house until 7.30, always having an excuse.. Pretty soon after the arrangement started, it ended
I'd just say I have to drop my son off earlier if I was you, or the place he goes to has changed and its no longer on your route to pick him up
Pain in the ass?
It wasn't much, and this was a few years ago but I think it was something along the lines of £20 a month, and he gave me a lift in 5 days a week which meant he had to take a tiny detour to go past my house.
OP, don't feel bad at all asking for petrol money. You have every right to receive something if you're giving him a lift every day.
He is the one who should feel bad for being a freeloading so and so.