Well OP, you may find this odd, but I am a 44 year old woman and have 5 kids yet still find it difficult to relate to other people's kids. I think it's something you've either got or you haven't.
Well OP, you may find this odd, but I am a 44 year old woman and have 5 kids yet still find it difficult to relate to other people's kids. I think it's something you've either got or you haven't.
Wish I had that problem, I have 2 children and when I take the eldest into school I seem to become a child magnet, I don't even have to open my mouth!
The other day a girl in my daughters class(who I have never spoken to)came over bearing her heart out to me about how her mum had left her and her siblings and about some of the treatment she had received from her. So then I had to go and report it all to school.
I used to be a youth worker and always had a little following, maybe they see me as having the same mentality as them lol.
Best thing to do was to approach a staff member and let them put an announcement out.
I wouldn't have left her... but then again, I have a lot of little cousins so I can speak to children on a fair wavelength.
Using the word perogative? In a conversation with a 3 year old? Maybe I've just been teaching for too long and have finally given in to dumbing down...:eek:
Probably yes , It's the sort of thing I'd say and I wouldn't be able to think of anything else.
I've got two grown up sons and I'm a grannie too, I also worked for nine years in a playgroup so I have a fair idea how to talk to children. I never talked down to them and never talked in a babyish way, not even with my own grandson who's 14 months, I do like to get down physically to their level though (not that that is much of a problem for me as I'm only 5') so they can talk to me at eye level. I think children are wonderful, and I like hearing what they have to say, maybe that's why they seem to like me too.
I'm 22 and never really caught on how to speak to kids...but it means that when I do manage to have a successful conversation with one, I mentally congratulate myself . But generally I feel very awkward with them, I just don't know what to do or say!
I just talk to them like I would anyone else but with less swearing obviously. I even use big words, if they don't understand, they'll ask. I think that's why my kids have really good vocabularies, I never really went in for all that baby talk, biccy wiccy instead of biscuit and the like.
Little kids are easy to chatter with, it's teenagers that are hard work with their monosyllabic replies to anything you say
I have the same problem OP! At Christmas my neighbour came around with her two kids and I didn't know what to say to them. I tried but in the end I gave up and let mum talk to them. It sounds daft but I was a bit stuck with what to say.
I used to speak to the 7 and 8 year olds I taught precisely as if I was speaking to a lecturehall full of postgrads in the 1950s (dumbing down the vocab and concepts but no 'baby talk'). I'd address my class as 'Ladies and Gentlemen'. They LOVED the novelty of being addressed as if they were elder statesmen, and not talked down to.
It gave my class a strong identity, and they'd do anything for 'the class' after a couple of weeks - they loved having a teacher who took them seriously.
I always think kids sense a fake bit of baby talk, too.
Once my own kids hit 8 or so I speak to them as if they're mini mes. (Well I take out the swear words, for my younger ones but when the 2 little uns are in bed, my teenagers just get the 'real me'). People always say how polite and mature and well balanced my kids are. Also what a great vocabulary they have (I dumbed myself down when teaching, depending on the kid but at home I don't).
I have a really sarcastic sense of humour and it can be quite 'adult'. I don't tone myself down in front of my older kids and they're surprisingly well adjusted because of it.
And we almost never row in this house. Quite an achievement for such a huge family. I put that down to me showing the kids respect and expecting it in return and all along, never talking to them as if they're idiots. I often think that baby talk strangers do to kids actually makes the kids think "What a prat".
I haven't a clue how to speak to kids! My aunt gave birth to my cousin when I was 19, and that's the first child I've really been around while I've been an adult. Whenever I see him, I literally have no clue, and have accidently upset him a few times. Like when I asked if i could take his Woody toy home.
The other day I was through a very narrow alley way. A woman was walking in front of me and two twin girls (probably about 4 or 5) were walking in front of her. The woman scooted over to let me through (I walk fast), but then I got to the girls and I didn't know how to say "excuse me" like I would to an adult!! I very highly pitched said "Excuse me darlings!" They turned, looked, and scooted over with very very suspicious looks on their faces. I think I might have upset them too.
I am wondering if maybe I am one of the only 30+ year olds who doesn't know how to converse with a child if they randomly speak to you in a supermarket or something ? I am sure it is because I am not a parent and never been around kids except when I was one. But have you ever been in a supermarket and in the queue when randomly the kid with the mother in front of you will start to chat ? I have no concept of what age you go from almost baby chat to speaking normally. I actually dread it sometimes when a kid is in front of me talking randomly to every stranger, or moving about my shopping on the belt, simply because I can't do that thing that women seem to do naturally. I see myself very much as Alan Partridge, haha, just being matter of fact.
Take for instance the other day, this little girl comes up to me in the supermarket and says "have you seen my little sister", now, in such a instance should I of gone looking for her sister, taken her back to her mum (unless it was her sister who was the only one with her), or what ? In this day and age there was no way I could take her hand and go look for her sister. So I just said sorry no I haven't, and walked off. But again, I didn't know if to talk childishly or normally or if I should of been much more responsible and helped her out by looking.
So are there any other adults who have no idea how to properly converse with kids ?
P.S : No "Charley Says" or Gary Glitter jokes or anything please, haha, I know even the subject header opens this up for jokes, but come on, that is far too predictable and boring.
Just use the following phrases and you'll be fine:
Coool...
Sick ...
Wow, that's awesome..
Go play on your X-box, DS, PS3, Wii
McDonalds?
I used to speak to the 7 and 8 year olds I taught precisely as if I was speaking to a lecturehall full of postgrads in the 1950s (dumbing down the vocab and concepts but no 'baby talk'). I'd address my class as 'Ladies and Gentlemen'. They LOVED the novelty of being addressed as if they were elder statesmen, and not talked down to.
It gave my class a strong identity, and they'd do anything for 'the class' after a couple of weeks - they loved having a teacher who took them seriously.
I always think kids sense a fake bit of baby talk, too.
Once my own kids hit 8 or so I speak to them as if they're mini mes. (Well I take out the swear words, for my younger ones but when the 2 little uns are in bed, my teenagers just get the 'real me'). People always say how polite and mature and well balanced my kids are. Also what a great vocabulary they have (I dumbed myself down when teaching, depending on the kid but at home I don't).
I think it was a good idea and I probably would have done something similar if I was a teacher. I can't stand all that baby talk some people use when talking to kids.
I always talked to children like normal people. They aren't stupid, just catching up. Of course you don't suddenly start chatting about your sex life, or how the government over-taxed you last year, although that may ensure that parents will in future grab their kids and run away when they see you, therefore avoiding you ever having to face this dilemma again.:D
Let me clarify something before people assume I just left her, haha, I said "no sorry I haven't" in a very pleasant voice, and I didn't just walk off when she was still there, after I said I hadn't seen her sister she ran back somewhere down another aisle. I would never have just walked away if she was still talking to me. I just wanted to clear that up Also after that I did keep an eye out and made sure she met up with her sister (or a person she knew) by walking around a bit longer before going to the checkout. So had I of still seen her lost, then I would of course of done something. But afterwards I did wonder if I should of walked with her or got a staff member, but the child certainly wasn't stressed or upset, she asked in a very upbeat way.
The oldest kids game in the book. Hide and seek and runaway, or as the little bastards these days would say 'Let's go and annoy that man over there'. If he gets angry we scream child abuse.
I tend to agree with most on here that one speaks normally to ones children. I used to speak to my daughter as if she was an adult - when she didn't understand she asked me what I meant. I found it kept me on my toes more than her.
Comments
sometimes I have to talk to the kids in my shop, and I never have any idea whether to speak to them like a normal person... or go all babyish?!
I am 25 male with no kids, never had a younger brother or sister so thats probably why.
Are you one of my teachers?
Wish I had that problem, I have 2 children and when I take the eldest into school I seem to become a child magnet, I don't even have to open my mouth!
The other day a girl in my daughters class(who I have never spoken to)came over bearing her heart out to me about how her mum had left her and her siblings and about some of the treatment she had received from her. So then I had to go and report it all to school.
I used to be a youth worker and always had a little following, maybe they see me as having the same mentality as them lol.
I wouldn't have left her... but then again, I have a lot of little cousins so I can speak to children on a fair wavelength.
Probably yes
Little kids are easy to chatter with, it's teenagers that are hard work with their monosyllabic replies to anything you say
I don't know - are you one of my students?
It gave my class a strong identity, and they'd do anything for 'the class' after a couple of weeks - they loved having a teacher who took them seriously.
I always think kids sense a fake bit of baby talk, too.
Once my own kids hit 8 or so I speak to them as if they're mini mes. (Well I take out the swear words, for my younger ones but when the 2 little uns are in bed, my teenagers just get the 'real me'). People always say how polite and mature and well balanced my kids are. Also what a great vocabulary they have (I dumbed myself down when teaching, depending on the kid but at home I don't).
I have a really sarcastic sense of humour and it can be quite 'adult'. I don't tone myself down in front of my older kids and they're surprisingly well adjusted because of it.
And we almost never row in this house. Quite an achievement for such a huge family. I put that down to me showing the kids respect and expecting it in return and all along, never talking to them as if they're idiots. I often think that baby talk strangers do to kids actually makes the kids think "What a prat".
The other day I was through a very narrow alley way. A woman was walking in front of me and two twin girls (probably about 4 or 5) were walking in front of her. The woman scooted over to let me through (I walk fast), but then I got to the girls and I didn't know how to say "excuse me" like I would to an adult!! I very highly pitched said "Excuse me darlings!" They turned, looked, and scooted over with very very suspicious looks on their faces. I think I might have upset them too.
Just use the following phrases and you'll be fine:
Coool...
Sick ...
Wow, that's awesome..
Go play on your X-box, DS, PS3, Wii
McDonalds?
I think it was a good idea and I probably would have done something similar if I was a teacher. I can't stand all that baby talk some people use when talking to kids.
I always talked to children like normal people. They aren't stupid, just catching up.
The oldest kids game in the book. Hide and seek and runaway, or as the little bastards these days would say 'Let's go and annoy that man over there'. If he gets angry we scream child abuse.
I tend to agree with most on here that one speaks normally to ones children. I used to speak to my daughter as if she was an adult - when she didn't understand she asked me what I meant. I found it kept me on my toes more than her.