Why does Gary

cheekymonkey75cheekymonkey75 Posts: 127
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always use his age or his knee injury as an excuse for everything?! He's 70 not 100! Most 70 year olds have ailments including being hard of hearing but they don't go round using it as an excuse to act however the hell they want. My Grandad in 86, since my Nan died he has lived alone doing everything for himself perfectly well (including showering every day). He's hard of hearing and has physical problems yet he doesn't complain and I've never come across him being rude to anyone no matter the circumstances. And might I add I have noticed Gary actually has selective hearing because when people are speaking quietly one to one he suddenly hears every word then next thing you know someone is almost shouting at him and he plays up saying "what" just because he knows it pushes people's buttons. I don't dislike the man I just think he's rude and has a lot of people fooled by his act.
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  • yogacatsyogacats Posts: 6,954
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    always use his age or his knee injury as an excuse for everything?! He's 70 not 100! Most 70 year olds have ailments including being hard of hearing but they don't go round using it as an excuse to act however the hell they want. My Grandad in 86, since my Nan died he has lived alone doing everything for himself perfectly well (including showering every day). He's hard of hearing and has physical problems yet he doesn't complain and I've never come across him being rude to anyone no matter the circumstances. And might I add I have noticed Gary actually has selective hearing because when people are speaking quietly one to one he suddenly hears every word then next thing you know someone is almost shouting at him and he plays up saying "what" just because he knows it pushes people's buttons. I don't dislike the man I just think he's rude and has a lot of people fooled by his act.

    Short answer to that - he doesn't.
  • roseblue1roseblue1 Posts: 7,498
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    yogacats wrote: »
    Short answer to that - he doesn't.

    I agree.
  • cheekymonkey75cheekymonkey75 Posts: 127
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    yogacats wrote: »
    Short answer to that - he doesn't.

    Erm I'd love a £1 for every time someone has pulled him up on something Gary has said "you need to understand I'm 70 years old" because I'd have a right few quid!
  • digichantdigichant Posts: 3,519
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    always use his age or his knee injury as an excuse for everything?! He's 70 not 100! Most 70 year olds have ailments including being hard of hearing but they don't go round using it as an excuse to act however the hell they want. My Grandad in 86, since my Nan died he has lived alone doing everything for himself perfectly well (including showering every day). He's hard of hearing and has physical problems yet he doesn't complain and I've never come across him being rude to anyone no matter the circumstances. And might I add I have noticed Gary actually has selective hearing because when people are speaking quietly one to one he suddenly hears every word then next thing you know someone is almost shouting at him and he plays up saying "what" just because he knows it pushes people's buttons. I don't dislike the man I just think he's rude and has a lot of people fooled by his act.

    This is absolutely true and I'm surprised I haven't seen more people mentioning this.

    On one occasion he said "WHAT" three times to Dee when she was speaking slowly and clearly right into his ear and there was nobody else around, and yet another time managed to jump in and comment on a conversation between Edele and Audley from over across the bedroom. The extent of his hearing problems definitely changes depending on the situation and if it benefits him to be "struggling to understand".

    Also, the posters above who have said that Gary doesn't use his age as an excuse are simply lying, as he has done it on more than one occasion. In fact I'm sure he said it in tonights episode....
  • MenkMenk Posts: 13,831
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    always use his age or his knee injury as an excuse for everything?! He's 70 not 100! Most 70 year olds have ailments including being hard of hearing but they don't go round using it as an excuse to act however the hell they want. My Grandad in 86, since my Nan died he has lived alone doing everything for himself perfectly well (including showering every day). He's hard of hearing and has physical problems yet he doesn't complain and I've never come across him being rude to anyone no matter the circumstances. And might I add I have noticed Gary actually has selective hearing because when people are speaking quietly one to one he suddenly hears every word then next thing you know someone is almost shouting at him and he plays up saying "what" just because he knows it pushes people's buttons. I don't dislike the man I just think he's rude and has a lot of people fooled by his act.

    People are not all the same.
  • digichantdigichant Posts: 3,519
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    Menk wrote: »
    People are not all the same.

    Indeed. Gary is rude and insufferable where many others are not.
  • StrawberryLacesStrawberryLaces Posts: 585
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    Tinnitus often goes with deafness and can at times be very loud and others softer. That is an explanation but I expect it will fall on deaf ears.
  • MargMckMargMck Posts: 24,115
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    Depth of tone, acoustics (sound bounce) tinnitus, background crackle - a precis of the things those of us with partial hearing have tried to explain soooooooooooooooooo many times on here.
  • MargMckMargMck Posts: 24,115
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    Tinnitus often goes with deafness and can at times be very loud and others softer. That is an explanation but I expect it will fall on deaf ears.

    Seriously it makes me feel a bit :cry::cry: and I know some other FMs with partial hearing or virtually complete hearing loss have been in despair over the ignorance ... or unwillingness to take on board what we explain.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 13,158
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    MargMck wrote: »
    Seriously it makes me feel a bit :cry::cry: and I know some other FMs with partial hearing or virtually complete hearing loss have been in despair over the ignorance ... or unwillingness to take on board what we explain.

    It's amazing isn't it, how the same thing gets said over and over again, it's like batting your head against a brick wall !
  • keeping_it_realkeeping_it_real Posts: 3,086
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    Tinnitus often goes with deafness and can at times be very loud and others softer. That is an explanation but I expect it will fall on deaf ears.

    I see what you did there :D

    I thought this thread was going to be about why does he always throw in another insult just when things *might* stand a chance of blowing over, example, rambling about immaturity to Edele.

    The answer of course is that he knows exactly what he's doing and is either obnoxious or acting his socks off.
  • MargMckMargMck Posts: 24,115
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    Sasparella wrote: »
    It's amazing isn't it, how the same thing gets said over and over again, it's like batting your head against a brick wall !

    They wouldn't say "How does that blind man get around ok a lot of the time and then "trips" or bumps into things when it suits?"
  • StrawberryLacesStrawberryLaces Posts: 585
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    MargMck wrote: »
    Seriously it makes me feel a bit :cry::cry: and I know some other FMs with partial hearing or virtually complete hearing loss have been in despair over the ignorance ... or unwillingness to take on board what we explain.

    I have a family member with industry caused deafness and tinnitus. Some people 'decide' they don't like someone and aren't willing to listen to explanations and change their minds >:( but the reality is that Gary may be blunt but he's not malicious.
  • StrawberryLacesStrawberryLaces Posts: 585
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    MargMck wrote: »
    They wouldn't say "How does that blind man get around ok a lot of the time and then "trips" or bumps into things when it suits?"

    That is a perfect example!
  • kimindexkimindex Posts: 68,247
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    digichant wrote: »
    This is absolutely true and I'm surprised I haven't seen more people mentioning this.

    On one occasion he said "WHAT" three times to Dee when she was speaking slowly and clearly right into his ear and there was nobody else around, and yet another time managed to jump in and comment on a conversation between Edele and Audley from over across the bedroom. The extent of his hearing problems definitely changes depending on the situation and if it benefits him to be "struggling to understand".

    Also, the posters above who have said that Gary doesn't use his age as an excuse are simply lying, as he has done it on more than one occasion. In fact I'm sure he said it in tonights episode....
    Yes, that should be undeniable.
  • SkyrahSkyrah Posts: 14,757
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    digichant wrote: »
    This is absolutely true and I'm surprised I haven't seen more people mentioning this.

    On one occasion he said "WHAT" three times to Dee when she was speaking slowly and clearly right into his ear and there was nobody else around, and yet another time managed to jump in and comment on a conversation between Edele and Audley from over across the bedroom. The extent of his hearing problems definitely changes depending on the situation and if it benefits him to be "struggling to understand".

    Also, the posters above who have said that Gary doesn't use his age as an excuse are simply lying, as he has done it on more than one occasion. In fact I'm sure he said it in tonights episode....

    I find it difficult how Gary is able to hear some day but not other ......

    I remember in first week when James was sitting on the bed, he mumbled something about Gary, Gary was on the other side of the bedroom then walked over & demanded James to stand up. There were others in the bedroom talking at same time but Gary heard James perfectly across the bedroom.

    BIB actually said it several times tonite I'm 70 years old
  • kimindexkimindex Posts: 68,247
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    MargMck wrote: »
    Seriously it makes me feel a bit :cry::cry: and I know some other FMs with partial hearing or virtually complete hearing loss have been in despair over the ignorance ... or unwillingness to take on board what we explain.
    And, people being people, some do use things like that to manipulate others, so, in the context of his other behaviour, people are as entitled to think Gary is doing that as you are to think he isn't. The 'you have no sympathy for people with disabilities if you don't agree with my view' tactic strikes me as bit :cry:, personally, as does calling people ignorant. Seriously.
  • digichantdigichant Posts: 3,519
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    MargMck wrote: »
    Seriously it makes me feel a bit :cry::cry: and I know some other FMs with partial hearing or virtually complete hearing loss have been in despair over the ignorance ... or unwillingness to take on board what we explain.

    It doesn't matter how many times you post something, there will always be other members that have not seen it. I, for one, have never seen you post before.

    I still think that Gary is manipulative and has displayed selective hearing on several occasions. I have had plenty of experience with deaf family members and have never seen anything like I've seen from Gary.

    Also (perhaps slightly unrelated to the OP), as a deaf/partially deaf person would you ever dream of putting your hand in someones face or outright telling other adults around you who are conversing to shut up? Would you continually interrupt others? For some reason posters seem to excuse this rude behaviour because of his disability.
  • conmarcas3conmarcas3 Posts: 5,260
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    digichant wrote: »
    This is absolutely true and I'm surprised I haven't seen more people mentioning this.

    On one occasion he said "WHAT" three times to Dee when she was speaking slowly and clearly right into his ear and there was nobody else around, and yet another time managed to jump in and comment on a conversation between Edele and Audley from over across the bedroom. The extent of his hearing problems definitely changes depending on the situation and if it benefits him to be "struggling to understand".

    Also, the posters above who have said that Gary doesn't use his age as an excuse are simply lying, as he has done it on more than one occasion. In fact I'm sure he said it in tonights episode....

    Ok, I have good ears and I can't understand Dee! ! ! It's very difficult to understand another accent when you're not familiar with it, even when someone is speaking slowly, as some of the words don't even sound like they are supposed to. Rickay, loike, sorray etc and those are the familiar ones. Her accent is so broad that I need subtitles sometimes.
  • MargMckMargMck Posts: 24,115
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    kimindex wrote: »
    And, people being people, some do use things like that to manipulate others, so, in the context of his other behaviour, people are as entitled to think Gary is doing that as you are to think he isn't. The 'you have no sympathy for people with disabilities if you don't agree with my view' tactic strikes me as bit :cry:, personally.

    What do you want me to say - that he is so brilliant an actor that he perfectly mimics a person with typical hearing loss of that level? Those of us the same would best be able to judge whether he's taking the piss.
    If I thought a HM was parodying a deaf person I would dislike them.
    The mannerisms and frustration he shows in some situations is so recognisable.
  • conmarcas3conmarcas3 Posts: 5,260
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    Skyrah wrote: »
    I find it difficult how Gary is able to hear some day but not other ......

    I remember in first week when James was sitting on the bed, he mumbled something about Gary, Gary was on the other side of the bedroom then walked over & demanded James to stand up. There were others in the bedroom talking at same time but Gary heard James perfectly across the bedroom.

    BIB actually said it several times tonite I'm 70 years old

    It all depends on the tone, frequency and the clarity. You could have 2 people say the same things at the same volume in different tones and 1 may be understandable and the other may not. It's not always about just detecting sound.
  • StrawberryLacesStrawberryLaces Posts: 585
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    conmarcas3 wrote: »
    It all depends on the tone, frequency and the clarity. You could have 2 people say the same things at the same volume in different tones and 1 may be understandable and the other may not. It's not always about just detecting sound.

    Plus the diverse accents going on.
  • MargMckMargMck Posts: 24,115
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    digichant wrote: »
    It doesn't matter how many times you post something, there will always be other members that have not seen it. I, for one, have never seen you post before.

    Regardless, I still think that Gary is manipulative and has displayed selective hearing on several occasions. I have had plenty of experience with deaf family members and have never seen anything like I've seen from Gary.

    Also, as a deaf/partially deaf person (I think), would you ever dream of putting your hand in someones face or outright telling other adults around you who are conversing to shut up? Would you continually interrupt others?

    I have 9,350 posts:blush::blush: in 2 years, but that's fine if you have missed my waffle.:D
    I lost my hearing through Lyme disease - for a couple of months total loss, now stuck for good at partial. Sometimes you wouldn't know. I found one woman who I could always hear and understand - one day I asked her why she thought this was - turned out both her parents were deaf so she was used to the issues of how we mix lip reading with remaining hearing, and her voice had excellent clarity of tone.
    As for Gary and the hand, I have lost my rag, thankfully rarely, with mumblers and those who turn their faces away from you in mid speech. People who knew I had a problem. I did worse than Gary - I grabbed the face of someone doing it to me again and again and screamed "Stop f-ing mumbling!"
    These days I put it down to ignorance ... and sometimes turn a deaf ear when THEY need my attention.
  • StrawberryLacesStrawberryLaces Posts: 585
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    MargMck wrote: »
    What do you want me to say - that he is so brilliant an actor that he perfectly mimics a person with typical hearing loss of that level? Those of us the same would best be able to judge whether he's taking the piss.
    If I thought a HM was parodying a deaf person I would dislike them.
    The mannerisms and frustration he shows in some situations is so recognisable.

    Yep agree. I don't like or dislike Gary but I see familiar frustrations in his face that I know is not him acting. Very recognisable. But hey, that's what life teaches you I guess, to read people as you get older and hopefully make less mis-interpretations of people's intentions, no matter what their lips are saying ; )
  • conmarcas3conmarcas3 Posts: 5,260
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    MargMck wrote: »
    I have 9,350 posts:blush::blush: in 2 years, but that's fine if you have missed my waffle.:D
    I lost my hearing through Lyme disease - for a couple of months total loss, now stuck for good at partial. Sometimes you wouldn't know. I found one woman who I could always hear and understand - one day I asked her why she thought this was - turned out both her parents were deaf so she was used to the issues of how we mix lip reading with remaining hearing, and her voice had excellent clarity of tone.
    As for Gary and the hand, I have lost my rag, thankfully rarely, with mumblers and those who turn their faces away from you in mid speech. People who knew I had a problem. I did worse than Gary - I grabbed the face of someone doing it to me again and again and screamed "Stop f-ing mumbling!"
    These days I put it down to ignorance ... and sometimes turn a deaf ear when THEY need my attention.

    so many people think it's a black and white issue, you can either hear or you can't. There are so many more factors involved. But then there are people every year who yell..."playing a game" at someone.
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