Trapped farts in my living room chair

BurtiBurti Posts: 705
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this might sound silly but it's a true thing I want advice about basically last wednesday I had a bit ok a lot of trapped wind and was farting constantly all evening and because I was on my own I didn't have to be disgreet I just let rip whilst I was sat in my chair watching tv. It was smelly in the room but that didn't matter as I quite like the smell of my farts but the problem is that even though the smell has of course gone from the room every time I sit down and my bottom presses down on the padded cushion bit it releases the smell again from my farts from 4 days ago!!! :eek: the smells all stale and Im embarrassed about when other people sit on it and they'll notice the nasty smell :eek: I even hoovered it but that didn't work :mad:
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Comments

  • chocoholic100chocoholic100 Posts: 6,411
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    cool story bro
  • cjsmummycjsmummy Posts: 11,079
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    I think you're imagining things;)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,076
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    Skimmed and read as the OP hoovering farts. I'll re-read once I've had a sleep as I obviously need it.
  • Dan06Dan06 Posts: 1,223
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    Omg :d
  • CruachanCruachan Posts: 7,211
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    alves wrote: »
    Skimmed and read as the OP hoovering farts. I'll re-read once I've had a sleep as I obviously need it.

    He did say "even hoovered it but that didn't work". So once he gets the non-working hoover fixed, your original interpretation will be very close to the truth.
  • jaycee331jaycee331 Posts: 2,363
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    This has to be the funniest thread of the weekend :D

    I had no idea such a thing could occur.

    Armed with this knowledge, maybe the OP should push the cussion a few times to squeeze it out :)
  • CruachanCruachan Posts: 7,211
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    jaycee331 wrote: »

    Armed with this knowledge, maybe the OP should push the cussion a few times to squeeze it out :)

    Perhaps farty-four times would do.
  • jaycee331jaycee331 Posts: 2,363
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    Cruachan wrote: »
    Perhaps farty-four times would do.

    Don't give up the day job :D
  • You_moYou_mo Posts: 11,334
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    It may not be the chair? Check your pants. Then either wash your pants or Febreze the chair.
  • EspressoEspresso Posts: 18,047
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    I suppose washing the cushion is out of the question, is it?
  • _radioamerica_radioamerica Posts: 4,921
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    Febreeze.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,859
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    Insert into washing machine and change your diet maybe!
  • jaycee331jaycee331 Posts: 2,363
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    You_mo wrote: »
    It may not be the chair? Check your pants. Then either wash your pants or Febreze the chair.

    I was just thinking the same :D
  • petra12petra12 Posts: 1,549
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    Oh i have no advice but this thread sure has made me smile ! lol
  • technology_lovetechnology_love Posts: 3,177
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    OP, its quite possible you have sharted and sent some semi solids down the chair.
    Check for stains or "hanger ons" and remove accordingly.
  • BurtiBurti Posts: 705
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    Espresso wrote: »
    I suppose washing the cushion is out of the question, is it?
    Insert into washing machine and change your diet maybe!

    It's not just a cushion cushion it's the actual cushion part of the chair so it's not washable as far as I know :o I don't even know if that would help cause it's like the farty air is caught in the stuffing?????:confused:
  • BurtiBurti Posts: 705
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    OP, its quite possible you have sharted and sent some semi solids down the chair.
    Check for stains or "hanger ons" and remove accordingly.

    no there wasn't even any skid markes on my white hipsters so it was just gas for sure
  • whackyracerwhackyracer Posts: 15,786
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    OP, its quite possible you have sharted and sent some semi solids down the chair.
    Check for stains or "hanger ons" and remove accordingly.

    I bet this has what the OP has done. How utterly disgusting.
  • EspressoEspresso Posts: 18,047
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    Burti wrote: »
    It's not just a cushion cushion it's the actual cushion part of the chair so it's not washable as far as I know :o I don't even know if that would help cause it's like the farty air is caught in the stuffing?????:confused:

    Does the cushion come off the chair?
  • solarflaresolarflare Posts: 22,377
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    They sure don't put this in the DFS adverts.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,345
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    Burti wrote: »
    this might sound silly but it's a true thing I want advice about basically last wednesday I had a bit ok a lot of trapped wind and was farting constantly all evening and because I was on my own I didn't have to be disgreet I just let rip whilst I was sat in my chair watching tv. It was smelly in the room but that didn't matter as I quite like the smell of my farts but the problem is that even though the smell has of course gone from the room every time I sit down and my bottom presses down on the padded cushion bit it releases the smell again from my farts from 4 days ago!!! :eek: the smells all stale and Im embarrassed about when other people sit on it and they'll notice the nasty smell :eek: I even hoovered it but that didn't work :mad:

    :eek:
    pmsl!! :D:D:D
    Cruachan wrote: »
    Perhaps farty-four times would do.

    :D
    jaycee331 wrote: »
    This has to be the funniest thread of the weekend :D

    Agreed! :D
  • spiney2spiney2 Posts: 27,058
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    I love these toilet humour threads on DS. Now the carry on films have ended, and there's no more saucy postcards, it's UP TO US to keep this fine tradition going ......

    Can we have a thread about floaters?
  • burton07burton07 Posts: 10,871
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    I believe the OP because I had a chair that smelt of farts. It was the chair that my ex sat in all the time. The cushion smelled of smelly bum crack.
  • jaycee331jaycee331 Posts: 2,363
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    Perhaps this thread is a really good lesson to make your next armchair/sofa a leather one... Non-absorbent and easy wipe clean :)
  • gomezzgomezz Posts: 44,611
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    This is why I would never pick up soft furnishing or mattresses even if offered free.
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