Domestic violence stats - 720k male victims (1 in 3) reported last year(!)

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  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    Meilie wrote: »
    Yes, men are 15% more likely to get cancer than women and 40% more likely to die from it.

    http://publications.cancerresearchuk.org/downloads/Product/CS_REPORT_TOP10INCMORT.pdf

    A lot of men won't go to see their GP until it's too late, unlike women
    Exam results -

    According to figures, some 24.8 per cent of exams sat by girls were graded A* or A, compared with just 17.6 per cent of those taken by boys.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/10260163/GCSE-results-2013-girls-stretch-to-record-lead-over-boys.html

    As a country we're letting our males down.

    How is it our collective responsibility if boys won't study or listen in class?

    Maybe male culture has something to answer for.
  • LifeisGoodLifeisGood Posts: 1,027
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    I think we need to find out what the stats are classing as domestic violence "of some sort", which it specifically mentions in respect of men. In one study I read about, things like door slamming were classed as domestic violence against men in the stats.

    I'm not saying men don't experience domestic violence, but we need to make sure we are comparing like with like.
  • tiacattiacat Posts: 22,521
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    IzzyS wrote: »
    Regarding cancer, that may be a statistical fact but how does that prove that we're somehow treating them appallingly, as a country or society? :confused:

    I dont know a huge amount about these stats but just on these points, how many moonlit runs for charity do you see for prostate cancer for example. All the media attention is on women's cancer, breast, cervical and that includes health campaigns focused on those, not for men (and yes before someone mentions it that comedian has recently done a campaign, cant remember his name, bill something, but that is few and far between the normal lack of attention on it)
  • tiacattiacat Posts: 22,521
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    Electra wrote: »
    A lot of men won't go to see their GP until it's too late, unlike women



    How is it our collective responsibility if boys won't study or listen in class?

    Maybe male culture has something to answer for.

    Male culture is something our society creates/tolerates. Too cool for school is often seen as ok for boys, boys tht study are 'nerdy' or 'geeks'. Boys that are sensitive and gentle are mummys boys or not going to cut it in big business. We are enabling and promoting traits in our general population, let alone men which value aggression at times, so its no wonder that boys and men will have an exaggerated form of this.
  • IzzySIzzyS Posts: 11,045
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    tiacat wrote: »
    I dont know a huge amount about these stats but just on these points, how many moonlit runs for charity do you see for prostate cancer for example. All the media attention is on women's cancer, breast, cervical and that includes health campaigns focused on those, not for men (and yes before someone mentions it that comedian has recently done a campaign, cant remember his name, bill something, but that is few and far between the normal lack of attention on it)

    Bob Monkhouse? yes, well he didn't really do it himself (I think?), it was made by putting together various clips from old shows of his, together but it wasn't made until after he died. I can't remember if that was prostate or testicular cancer though?.

    Bowel cancer is being talked about a bit more now, at least I've heard it mentioned on The Wright Stuff. I think Matthew Wright campaigns for one of the male cancers - my memory is awful though, so wouldn't be sure which, testicular or prostate I think.
  • tiacattiacat Posts: 22,521
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    IzzyS wrote: »
    Bob Monkhouse? yes, well he didn't really do it himself (I think?), it was made by putting together various clips from old shows of his, together but it wasn't made until after he died. I can't remember if that was prostate or testicular cancer though?.

    Bowel cancer is being talked about a bit more now, at least I've heard it mentioned on The Wright Stuff. I think Matthew Wright campaigns for one of the male cancers - my memory is awful though, so wouldn't be sure which, testicular or prostate I think.

    Ok, so thats 3 people talking about cancers that are more prevalent in men. Now name various celebs who campaign about cancers that affect predominately women, there are hundreds. The point is male cancers and illnesses just dont get the same coverage.
  • IzzySIzzyS Posts: 11,045
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    tiacat wrote: »
    Male culture is something our society creates/tolerates. Too cool for school is often seen as ok for boys, boys tht study are 'nerdy' or 'geeks'. Boys that are sensitive and gentle are mummys boys or not going to cut it in big business. We are enabling and promoting traits in our general population, let alone men which value aggression at times, so its no wonder that boys and men will have an exaggerated form of this.

    Its a real shame. There's nothing wrong in being a bit sensitive. It reminds me a little of when people ask why do some women prefer rebellious, guys 'from the wrong side of the tracks' and all of that. Some people seem attracted to such people, I'm not entirely sure why? can't be a good thing surely?.
  • IzzySIzzyS Posts: 11,045
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    tiacat wrote: »
    Ok, so thats 3 people talking about cancers that are more prevalent in men. Now name various celebs who campaign about cancers that affect predominately women, there are hundreds. The point is male cancers and illnesses just dont get the same coverage.

    I can believe that, I'm not disagreeing.
  • bspacebspace Posts: 14,303
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    Electra wrote: »
    A lot of men won't go to see their GP until it's too late, unlike women



    How is it our collective responsibility if boys won't study or listen in class?

    Maybe male culture has something to answer for.

    because, strangely enough, that's how an egalitarian society works

    full marks for continuing the antagonistic us and them attitude though
  • Regis MagnaeRegis Magnae Posts: 6,810
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    Those numbers are huge, and thinking about how widespread it is is depressing.
  • CravenHavenCravenHaven Posts: 13,953
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    Figures are inflated because legal aid is given to divorces as a priority re domestic abuse.
    Think of all the money you'd save on solicitors with a black eye.
  • Si_CreweSi_Crewe Posts: 40,202
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    Electra wrote: »
    What's sexist about it? I think it would be a good idea for men to get organised, as women did, instead of waiting for 'someone' to do it for them.

    What's wrong with that? :confused:

    You really don't see anything either sexist or, at least, divisive in what you wrote there?

    Next time you're whining about there not being enough female business exec's or politicians, I have the perfect advice for you. ;-)
  • Si_CreweSi_Crewe Posts: 40,202
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    Electra wrote: »
    Maybe male culture has something to answer for.

    Is it possible that "female culture" is responsible for allowing women to have been oppressed for centuries?
  • BrooklynBoyBrooklynBoy Posts: 10,595
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    Si_Crewe wrote: »
    Is it possible that "female culture" is responsible for allowing women to have been oppressed for centuries?

    Don't be so sexist! That's something that male culture has to answer for.
  • weirlandia4evaweirlandia4eva Posts: 1,484
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    regarding the query about refuges
    12 organisations offer refuge or safe house provision for male victims in the UK - a
    total of 86 spaces, of which 25 are dedicated to male victims only (the rest being
    for victims of either gender so they could easily be unavailable to male victims),
    and some are for gay men only or are restricted to men specifically from the local
    area. There are over 260 organisations with around 4,000 spaces dedicated to
    female victims

    http://www.mankind.org.uk/pdfs/25%20Key%20Facts_Feb%202014%20(final).pdf

    some other interesting statistics from that article
    Men (5.7%) with a long-term illness or disability were more likely to be victims of
    partner abuse in 2012/13 than women (5.2%) in the same situation
    1% of men and 1.4% of women were victims of severe force at the hands of their
    partner during 2012/13.
  • Si_CreweSi_Crewe Posts: 40,202
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    Don't be so sexist! That's something that male culture has to answer for.

    Ah, right. I didn't see the "One Way Traffic" signs. ;-)
  • RobinOfLoxleyRobinOfLoxley Posts: 27,040
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    I was convicted of ABH and served 3 months in prison (12 years ago).

    In fact I was being attacked and defended myself (the prosecution admitted the injuries were minor to my partner)

    She lied to the police. She lied at Trial 1. (hung jury). She lied at Trial 2 where I was convicted.

    "Oh they all do that" were the helpful words from my barrister.

    I have three different testimonies, in writing, submitted under disclosure, about what happened. But it would have cost me £15.000 to go for a further appeal when the public mood was "Men are always Guilty"
  • Si_CreweSi_Crewe Posts: 40,202
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    I was convicted of ABH and served 3 months in prison (12 years ago).

    In fact I was being attacked and defended myself (the prosecution admitted the injuries were minor to my partner)

    She lied to the police. She lied at Trial 1. (hung jury). She lied at Trial 2 where I was convicted.

    "Oh they all do that" were the helpful words from my barrister.

    I have three different testimonies, in writing, submitted under disclosure, about what happened. But it would have cost me £15.000 to go for a further appeal when the public mood was "Men are always Guilty"

    I was arrested for assault years ago after a bonkers girlfriend took a swing at me with a meat-cleaver and broke her arm when I moved so she hit her arm on the side of the couch.

    Took her to the hospital where, I assume, she told the doctor some story and a couple of cops arrived and arrested me.
    Fortunately, there was somebody around when it happened and when she found out I'd been arrested she went to the cop-shop and helped sort things out.

    As I've said before, even after all that, as I left the cop-shop one of the cops said "This wouldn't have happened if you treated women properly".:(

    *EDIT*

    You just know that there'll be some people reading these posts and thinking "Sure, I bet that's not what really happened". :(
  • weirlandia4evaweirlandia4eva Posts: 1,484
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    LifeisGood wrote: »
    I think we need to find out what the stats are classing as domestic violence "of some sort", which it specifically mentions in respect of men. In one study I read about, things like door slamming were classed as domestic violence against men in the stats.

    I'm not saying men don't experience domestic violence, but we need to make sure we are comparing like with like.

    the figures come from the ONS crime surveys and they are comparing like for like
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    Si_Crewe wrote: »
    Is it possible that "female culture" is responsible for allowing women to have been oppressed for centuries?

    No...:confused:

    Are you denying that 'lad' culture exists?
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    Si_Crewe wrote: »
    I was arrested for assault years ago after a bonkers girlfriend took a swing at me with a meat-cleaver and broke her arm when I moved so she hit her arm on the side of the couch.

    Took her to the hospital where, I assume, she told the doctor some story and a couple of cops arrived and arrested me.
    Fortunately, there was somebody around when it happened and when she found out I'd been arrested she went to the cop-shop and helped sort things out.

    As I've said before, even after all that, as I left the cop-shop one of the cops said "This wouldn't have happened if you treated women properly".:(

    *EDIT*

    You just know that there'll be some people reading these posts and thinking "Sure, I bet that's not what really happened". :(

    That's horrific! I hope you had her charged over her attack with the meat cleaver. She sounds deranged.
  • jesayajesaya Posts: 35,597
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    What is most ridiculous about this situation is that it always ends up in a poisonous debate about who has it worse and who's fault it is.

    I'll tell you who has it worse - the nearly 2 million victims of domestic abuse, regardless of what sex they are or who their abusers are.

    And I'll tell you whose fault it is - firstly of course the abusers - secondly, the rest of us for not taking abuse seriously enough; for not prosecuting perpetrators effectively enough; and for not ensuring there is a safe place for every victim who needs one; legal support for them; and a sympathetic and supportive attitude to them.
  • CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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    zx50 wrote: »
    There needs to be more awareness about male victims of domestic violence instead of just smirking and fobbing it off.
    I agree.

    We're starting to make progress but a long way to go.
  • CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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    jesaya wrote: »
    What is most ridiculous about this situation is that it always ends up in a poisonous debate about who has it worse and who's fault it is.

    I'll tell you who has it worse - the nearly 2 million victims of domestic abuse, regardless of what sex they are or who their abusers are.

    And I'll tell you whose fault it is - firstly of course the abusers - secondly, the rest of us for not taking abuse seriously enough; for not prosecuting perpetrators effectively enough; and for not ensuring there is a safe place for every victim who needs one; legal support for them; and a sympathetic and supportive attitude to them.

    I wholeheartedly agree with this post.
  • Jol44Jol44 Posts: 21,048
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    Shouldn't it just be violence. How is getting punched in the street any less hurtful.

    Men are more subject to violence in public, yet this seems to be ignored and we just hear about domestic.
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