Is anyone else sitting here alone on New Years Eve?
Both my chidren have their own lives away from here and my husband has gone to bed. Up until 2 years ago we got invited out on NYE. For the past 2 years I have suffered a debilitating illness but it has not stopped the rellies coming here and treating my house like a hotel for the past 2 Christmas's.
However, when it comes to NYE, no one wants to know, they all have their own friends to see or other rellies/parties to go to and we are never invited. It upsets me no end as I love to have crowds around me. Our best friends are away and the others have their families.
I expect I will be in bed by 11.30. What happened to all those parties we used to be invited too.
The friends I usually do something with on NYE are doing something with there other friends. I was invited over to my parents for a meal, but I had already got a box of Chinese food and a bottle of red.
Almost out of the blue I have been having an unexpected text conversation with a friend for far away..
I miss everyone of old too, and thought maybe we could all do an update.
Hmmm...
Well...
I believe at the time of my last post here I had just had my first appointment with my counsellor. Just before Christmas I had my last one for now.
Well, to be fair, when I finally reached the 'top' of the waiting list, I was feeling better in myself anyway than I was when I first entered the waiting list this time last year.
I'm still trying hard not to think about Fairy, and there was a little incident that happened first back in September that didn't really help. I didn't mention it here - a couple of peoples here know, but I'll mention it now. I was going through a 'patch', and found myself in Tesco and saw a really cute fairy princess dress for a little girl (or boy too I suppose...). I'm not entirely sure why, but I bought this dress. I kind of found myself outside the shop with it on its hanger and thinking 'why the f**k did I just buy that?' which was a little strange really. Anyway, it's just been hanging up in my wardrobe for ages. Until the week before Christmas when I realised (long story short btw) that I could give it to a local Children's Hospice. I wrapped it up and took it to the Hospice, and told the person at the counter what it was, though not why I had it, and she said she knew just the little girl to give it to. So a strange moment in Tesco where I did something without realising it meant that a little girl in a Children's Hospice had a great Christmas present I wish I could have been there to see the look on her face when she opened it on Christmas morning, but (and I know this sounds really corny!) I know Fairy was there to see it
OK, skip backwards a couple of months and we find ourselves back at the beginning of September, when I decided that I would definately do something I'd been thinking of doing for ages. The Tube Challenge. Now, for those of you who don't know (which I assume will be a fair few of you) the Tube Challenge is a recognised Guinness World Record for travelling between all the stations on the London Underground network (yes, including all the stations way out beyond the M25!) in the shortest possible time. I had always said that I would do it for charity, and that charity to be Tearfund. Well, I decided on a date, and that date is coming up actually - 19 Feb. (If you want to sponsor me, nip along to www.justgiving.com/richietheg.)
This leads us to the next thing that kind of happened to me since my last post (the decision in the previous paragraph was made before my last post) when during the half term at the end of October I was in London (as I do quite frequently tbh...) and 'supporting' some other people who were doing the challenge on that day. They didn't complete the challenge (a few dodgy connections and problems on the Northern Line were to blame). I had driven up to London and parked just outside of Heathrow Airport. As I was leaving, I was in an accident. The accident didn't cause me any major damage except for a fair bit of bruising, but it did write my car off. (As to who was to blame, it was six of one and half a dozen of the other in my view, but we're still waiting for the police to get back to us with their verdict.) It also left me stranded in London with no way of getting back, no way of communicating with home (my phone was damaged in the crash) and discharged from hospital at around 4 in the morning wearing a pair of slippers (for long driving, I find my slippers more comfortable than shoes so I had changed them. Thankfully, they're black and non-descript slippers so nobody really noticed!). I managed to ring home (thanks to the A&E receptionist) and my mum (yes, who was awake at 4am to answer the phone!) arranged (but not at 4am) with my granddad to come and pick me up. Anyway, it took a couple of weeks for a new car to be sorted but that was done really.
Sorry, this is skipping around a bit, but things are slightly interconnected...
On the Saturday before that (or could've been two saturdays before that) I was up doing what is known as a Random 15 challenge. Which is a short version of the Tube Challenge where 15 stations in Zones 1 and 2 are selected at random (not knowing which ones) and there are teams who go out in an afternoon and it's basically a race to get between all fifteen. I had decided a little while before that to get a bit more radio practice in, so I took a recorder out and documented the R15 (the results can be heard on my website on the Radio page). OK, it's not brilliant.
Little did I know that the beginning of half term, I would find myself starting a UCAS application to go to university from next September doing a Radio Production course. It was kind of decided 'for' me - I was speaking to somebody who's known me for years, and I can't exactly remember how the conversation went but basically she kind of ordered me to do it. I asked a couple of people whether they thought I should do it, and they both said the same thing which was along the lines of 'why do you need to ask me? go and do it you silly ****er'. So I ended up filling in this UCAS application which was completed a couple of weeks before Christmas, and I was given an interview date within the week. That date was today.
I didn't do it today - I couldn't get the time off work because somebody else in the department had and Friday is a short-staffed day at the moment, so have had to reschedule... and it's now the Friday before I'm doing the Tube Challenge!
So.
That has been my life in a nutshell since my last post in this thread. Who knows what 2010 will bring? (for some reason I almost typed 2008...)
I will say though that for those of you who are friends with me on Facebook - please don't mention the University thing on there as I haven't told people at work yet (except a couple) and I don't want it general knowledge at the moment. Here or over MSN is fine though as work don't know who I am here. (Though the clues are there should somebody look...)
Hope everybody else is OK and hope you all have a good 2008... erm... 2010
Richie, Good for you, you are making plans, helping other people, and what a lovely Christmas surprise some little girl had thanks to you. Not planned that way I know, but turned into something really positive.
Hope 2010 is a much better year for you, and good luck with the interview and the uni course. Could lead to all sorts of exciting opportunities.
Beth, nice to see you in here, hope all is going well with you.
As for me, a 'petition for divorce' arrived in the post this week; I realised papers would probably come some time but still a shock as I had assumed the ex would have told me beforehand. Oh well, I have survived worse so I guess this too will pass. They tell me that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so I must be on a par with Rocky by now
Hi.
I’ve not posted on here for ages but have decided to do so today. Think I need to rant and get it of my chest more than to look for advice.
Think I’m just feed up with lots of things in my life at the moment. It all just seems to be the same thing of work and trying to fit in my OU course. I never really go out anywhere but work and the odd shopping trip with mum and the gym.
I’ve been trying to help someone recently with some problems, but they never take my advice. The only conversations I have with them are all about them. They never ask how I am. They seem to think that there problems out weight mine and therefore mine don’t need to be discussed. I’ve sort of come to the conclusion that they are just attention seeking and that they are never going to listen to advice. I think that maybe for my own sanity I need to back away. They have other people in there lives that can maybe help them, as I don’t think I can. I just hope that doesn’t seem too selfish.
Maybe it just the January blues making me feel like this. I don’t know really. Although am getting worried about other things that I can’t let myself think about now
I’ll shut up now.
Hey Lissie, sounds like you have quite enough to deal with, so don't feel too bad about loosening any ties with the person you have been trying to help, especially as there are other friends who can step in. Sometimes we have to be prepared to stand back for our own sake, coming to the point where our own pressuress mean we are not helping the other person or ourselves.
Good to hear you are going on with the OU course, well done. Keep going, and I am sure things will look up when this cold, miserable weather improves and you can get out a bit more. January is such a depressing month, definitely one to produce plenty of rants.
Well, last time I posted, I was suicidal, seeing someone about that, and had hardly any confidence.
Now, far happier. Auditioned for Britain's got Talent (no luck though, ah well) and local competitions.
Not self harmed for months either
But I wouldn't even be here without you lot. I know that phrase is used a lot,but whenever I was that close, I'd always know I could rant here, and there would be someone who was there for me. Thank you.
Hi.
I’ve not posted on here for ages but have decided to do so today. Think I need to rant and get it of my chest more than to look for advice.
Think I’m just feed up with lots of things in my life at the moment. It all just seems to be the same thing of work and trying to fit in my OU course. I never really go out anywhere but work and the odd shopping trip with mum and the gym.
Cant you arrange to meet up with people after the gym and go for a coffe, the cinema or domething?
I’ve been trying to help someone recently with some problems, but they never take my advice. The only conversations I have with them are all about them. They never ask how I am. They seem to think that there problems out weight mine and therefore mine don’t need to be discussed. I’ve sort of come to the conclusion that they are just attention seeking and that they are never going to listen to advice. I think that maybe for my own sanity I need to back away. They have other people in there lives that can maybe help them, as I don’t think I can. I just hope that doesn’t seem too selfish.
Nope and that is a fair assessment of that person. It is a micture of attention seeking and self centredness. Every so often I meet up with friends for lunch. Other than hello and how are you I don't get a word in as the woman just goes on and on about herself, her life and what she thinks. If i'm lucky she will ask me something and after I've said about half a sentence she's off again on her next topic. I just um, aah and say yeah a lot then we go our seperate ways. If it wasnt for seeing her boyfriend I wouldn't bother meeting up.
The best thing you can do is just walk away as she'll only wear you down more.
. . . I was going through a 'patch', and found myself in Tesco and saw a really cute fairy princess dress for a little girl (or boy too I suppose...). I'm not entirely sure why, but I bought this dress. I kind of found myself outside the shop with it on its hanger and thinking 'why the f**k did I just buy that?' which was a little strange really. Anyway, it's just been hanging up in my wardrobe for ages. Until the week before Christmas when I realised (long story short btw) that I could give it to a local Children's Hospice. I wrapped it up and took it to the Hospice, and told the person at the counter what it was, though not why I had it, and she said she knew just the little girl to give it to.
Got a letter this morning from the Hospice.
"Dear Mr ******
I am writing to say thank you so much for the gifts that you kindly delivered to Little Bridge House [the name of the Hospice] just before Christmas. The Fairy Outfit was passed to our Sibling Coordinators who were delighted to have it for a child to dress up in over the holidays.
Thank you again, your kindness and support is very much appreciated.
With best wishes ... "
(I don't really mean but there's no 'tears of joy' smilie on DS...)
I've never been on this thread before I don't think but I just wanted to say that I think I will be posting on from time to time now
"Dear Mr ******
I am writing to say thank you so much for the gifts that you kindly delivered to Little Bridge House [the name of the Hospice] just before Christmas. The Fairy Outfit was passed to our Sibling Coordinators who were delighted to have it for a child to dress up in over the holidays.
Thank you again, your kindness and support is very much appreciated.
With best wishes ... "
That is really sweet. I find when I'm feeling negative, doing something positive usually makes me feel better.
i keep thinking about posting on here but i am not sure if its really worth it now as no one seems to use the thread anymore
It is a shame that nobody uses it anymore, but perhaps it's had its day? I don't mean that in a bad way, not at all. I'm looking at it as a good thing though, in that the 'regs' we had in here are, for the most part, okay. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but by and large the things that I came in here about initially back in the midsts of time have, for the most part, subsided. Admittedly, in the past week or two I've had dodgy things on my mind but they've mostly passed through with no bad side effects. And as DS split threads when they're long, the first posts here which 'explained' what we were about have drifted down the board, and in fact this thread itself starts in the middle of a 'crisis'. We are beginning to know who the people who can help us here are, and perhaps new people don't want to start to air our bloodied laundry in public? I can only talk for myself here, but I've been keeping in touch with a couple of people who used to frequent the thread, and we've checked up on each other regularly to see how we all are. It is a shame to see something as positive as this dry up, but as I said, maybe it's had its day and this has been its natural course.
Of course, if you saying 'I want to post but don't know if its worth it' is actually a bit of a cry for help, then post away - at least there's one person who reads it (me)
It is a shame that nobody uses it anymore, but perhaps it's had its day? I don't mean that in a bad way, not at all. I'm looking at it as a good thing though, in that the 'regs' we had in here are, for the most part, okay. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but by and large the things that I came in here about initially back in the midsts of time have, for the most part, subsided. Admittedly, in the past week or two I've had dodgy things on my mind but they've mostly passed through with no bad side effects. And as DS split threads when they're long, the first posts here which 'explained' what we were about have drifted down the board, and in fact this thread itself starts in the middle of a 'crisis'. We are beginning to know who the people who can help us here are, and perhaps new people don't want to start to air our bloodied laundry in public? I can only talk for myself here, but I've been keeping in touch with a couple of people who used to frequent the thread, and we've checked up on each other regularly to see how we all are. It is a shame to see something as positive as this dry up, but as I said, maybe it's had its day and this has been its natural course.
Of course, if you saying 'I want to post but don't know if its worth it' is actually a bit of a cry for help, then post away - at least there's one person who reads it (me)
thanks diss i'll prob pm you or catch you on msn things haven't been good recently x
I lurk too, if you post I'm around. Only during 9 - 5 normally though, night times are taking up with studying and weddings and dealing with other stuff
To be honest I dont know if a quiet thread means everyone is ok... I'm not for a start and Sal you don't sound like you are either... But to me there is no point posting when everyone who knew me has gone. Its a shame, I miss the good ol' days of this thread. Problem solving and having a laugh
I lurk here every day too. I think Diss you are right suggesting that one of the reasons the thread lost its way is because of it being split by the mods - for understandable reasons (ie it was very long!), but it was useful and nice sometimes to be able to look back on previous posts to get the bigger picture on things.
For myself, I've been through a few periods of depression in the last six months, not helped by post-viral fatigue following swine flu in January, which has dragged me right down and I'm still not really better. But I look at others' problems and I know that my life in general is good, so I try not to feel too sorry for myself.
Sooty, Sal, I'm sorry to hear things are not so good for you at the moment, and if I can help in any way I'm here for you.
i keep thinking about posting on here but i am not sure if its really worth it now as no one seems to use the thread anymore
Me to Sally. I stopped posting ages ago, as you may remember, and rarely look at DS at all anymore.
For me things have really moved on. Following my massive back operation at the end of October 2009, it has been a very long slow road to recovery. The operation appears to have worked and the endless pain has diminished quite a bit.. I still have 18 months to go while everything heals and fuses. As yet I cannot walk far or do anything physical. Doctors orders:o
My troubled Daughter C, has a 5 month old downs baby. The baby has just had open heart surgery. This also has transformed her from a very sick baby to a healthy one.
Yes I do miss the laughs we had on here Sooty. Shame but most members seem to have moved on.
i keep thinking about posting on here but i am not sure if its really worth it now as no one seems to use the thread anymore
Hello Sal, I lurk here too, not every day but fairly regularly, so post if you need to - it looks as if there are enough of us still about to lend an ear and offer a hug.
love, Polly
Comments
Both my chidren have their own lives away from here and my husband has gone to bed. Up until 2 years ago we got invited out on NYE. For the past 2 years I have suffered a debilitating illness but it has not stopped the rellies coming here and treating my house like a hotel for the past 2 Christmas's.
However, when it comes to NYE, no one wants to know, they all have their own friends to see or other rellies/parties to go to and we are never invited. It upsets me no end as I love to have crowds around me. Our best friends are away and the others have their families.
I expect I will be in bed by 11.30. What happened to all those parties we used to be invited too.
Almost out of the blue I have been having an unexpected text conversation with a friend for far away..
Well...
I believe at the time of my last post here I had just had my first appointment with my counsellor. Just before Christmas I had my last one for now.
Well, to be fair, when I finally reached the 'top' of the waiting list, I was feeling better in myself anyway than I was when I first entered the waiting list this time last year.
I'm still trying hard not to think about Fairy, and there was a little incident that happened first back in September that didn't really help. I didn't mention it here - a couple of peoples here know, but I'll mention it now. I was going through a 'patch', and found myself in Tesco and saw a really cute fairy princess dress for a little girl (or boy too I suppose...). I'm not entirely sure why, but I bought this dress. I kind of found myself outside the shop with it on its hanger and thinking 'why the f**k did I just buy that?' which was a little strange really. Anyway, it's just been hanging up in my wardrobe for ages. Until the week before Christmas when I realised (long story short btw) that I could give it to a local Children's Hospice. I wrapped it up and took it to the Hospice, and told the person at the counter what it was, though not why I had it, and she said she knew just the little girl to give it to. So a strange moment in Tesco where I did something without realising it meant that a little girl in a Children's Hospice had a great Christmas present
OK, skip backwards a couple of months and we find ourselves back at the beginning of September, when I decided that I would definately do something I'd been thinking of doing for ages. The Tube Challenge. Now, for those of you who don't know (which I assume will be a fair few of you) the Tube Challenge is a recognised Guinness World Record for travelling between all the stations on the London Underground network (yes, including all the stations way out beyond the M25!) in the shortest possible time. I had always said that I would do it for charity, and that charity to be Tearfund. Well, I decided on a date, and that date is coming up actually - 19 Feb. (If you want to sponsor me, nip along to www.justgiving.com/richietheg.)
This leads us to the next thing that kind of happened to me since my last post (the decision in the previous paragraph was made before my last post) when during the half term at the end of October I was in London (as I do quite frequently tbh...) and 'supporting' some other people who were doing the challenge on that day. They didn't complete the challenge (a few dodgy connections and problems on the Northern Line were to blame). I had driven up to London and parked just outside of Heathrow Airport. As I was leaving, I was in an accident. The accident didn't cause me any major damage except for a fair bit of bruising, but it did write my car off. (As to who was to blame, it was six of one and half a dozen of the other in my view, but we're still waiting for the police to get back to us with their verdict.) It also left me stranded in London with no way of getting back, no way of communicating with home (my phone was damaged in the crash) and discharged from hospital at around 4 in the morning wearing a pair of slippers (for long driving, I find my slippers more comfortable than shoes so I had changed them. Thankfully, they're black and non-descript slippers so nobody really noticed!). I managed to ring home (thanks to the A&E receptionist) and my mum (yes, who was awake at 4am to answer the phone!) arranged (but not at 4am) with my granddad to come and pick me up. Anyway, it took a couple of weeks for a new car to be sorted but that was done really.
Sorry, this is skipping around a bit, but things are slightly interconnected...
On the Saturday before that (or could've been two saturdays before that) I was up doing what is known as a Random 15 challenge. Which is a short version of the Tube Challenge where 15 stations in Zones 1 and 2 are selected at random (not knowing which ones) and there are teams who go out in an afternoon and it's basically a race to get between all fifteen. I had decided a little while before that to get a bit more radio practice in, so I took a recorder out and documented the R15 (the results can be heard on my website on the Radio page). OK, it's not brilliant.
Little did I know that the beginning of half term, I would find myself starting a UCAS application to go to university from next September doing a Radio Production course. It was kind of decided 'for' me - I was speaking to somebody who's known me for years, and I can't exactly remember how the conversation went but basically she kind of ordered me to do it. I asked a couple of people whether they thought I should do it, and they both said the same thing which was along the lines of 'why do you need to ask me? go and do it you silly ****er'. So I ended up filling in this UCAS application which was completed a couple of weeks before Christmas, and I was given an interview date within the week. That date was today.
I didn't do it today - I couldn't get the time off work because somebody else in the department had and Friday is a short-staffed day at the moment, so have had to reschedule... and it's now the Friday before I'm doing the Tube Challenge!
So.
That has been my life in a nutshell since my last post in this thread. Who knows what 2010 will bring? (for some reason I almost typed 2008...)
I will say though that for those of you who are friends with me on Facebook - please don't mention the University thing on there as I haven't told people at work yet (except a couple) and I don't want it general knowledge at the moment. Here or over MSN is fine though as work don't know who I am here. (Though the clues are there should somebody look...)
Hope everybody else is OK and hope you all have a good 2008... erm... 2010
Just wanted to say that I read your post, and give you BIG MASSIVE HUGS
x
Hope 2010 is a much better year for you, and good luck with the interview and the uni course. Could lead to all sorts of exciting opportunities.
Beth, nice to see you in here, hope all is going well with you.
As for me, a 'petition for divorce' arrived in the post this week; I realised papers would probably come some time but still a shock as I had assumed the ex would have told me beforehand. Oh well, I have survived worse so I guess this too will pass. They tell me that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so I must be on a par with Rocky by now
I’ve not posted on here for ages but have decided to do so today. Think I need to rant and get it of my chest more than to look for advice.
Think I’m just feed up with lots of things in my life at the moment. It all just seems to be the same thing of work and trying to fit in my OU course. I never really go out anywhere but work and the odd shopping trip with mum and the gym.
I’ve been trying to help someone recently with some problems, but they never take my advice. The only conversations I have with them are all about them. They never ask how I am. They seem to think that there problems out weight mine and therefore mine don’t need to be discussed. I’ve sort of come to the conclusion that they are just attention seeking and that they are never going to listen to advice. I think that maybe for my own sanity I need to back away. They have other people in there lives that can maybe help them, as I don’t think I can. I just hope that doesn’t seem too selfish.
Maybe it just the January blues making me feel like this. I don’t know really. Although am getting worried about other things that I can’t let myself think about now
I’ll shut up now.
Good to hear you are going on with the OU course, well done. Keep going, and I am sure things will look up when this cold, miserable weather improves and you can get out a bit more. January is such a depressing month, definitely one to produce plenty of rants.
Now, far happier. Auditioned for Britain's got Talent (no luck though, ah well) and local competitions.
Not self harmed for months either
But I wouldn't even be here without you lot. I know that phrase is used a lot,but whenever I was that close, I'd always know I could rant here, and there would be someone who was there for me. Thank you.
Cant you arrange to meet up with people after the gym and go for a coffe, the cinema or domething?
Nope and that is a fair assessment of that person. It is a micture of attention seeking and self centredness. Every so often I meet up with friends for lunch. Other than hello and how are you I don't get a word in as the woman just goes on and on about herself, her life and what she thinks. If i'm lucky she will ask me something and after I've said about half a sentence she's off again on her next topic. I just um, aah and say yeah a lot then we go our seperate ways. If it wasnt for seeing her boyfriend I wouldn't bother meeting up.
The best thing you can do is just walk away as she'll only wear you down more.
1 month self harm free tomorrow though
"Dear Mr ******
I am writing to say thank you so much for the gifts that you kindly delivered to Little Bridge House [the name of the Hospice] just before Christmas. The Fairy Outfit was passed to our Sibling Coordinators who were delighted to have it for a child to dress up in over the holidays.
Thank you again, your kindness and support is very much appreciated.
With best wishes ... "
Hope you're okay anyway xxxxx
Oh dear Mathertron, what is wrong? Do you have someone in real life you can talk to?
That is really sweet. I find when I'm feeling negative, doing something positive usually makes me feel better.
Of course, if you saying 'I want to post but don't know if its worth it' is actually a bit of a cry for help, then post away - at least there's one person who reads it (me)
thanks diss i'll prob pm you or catch you on msn things haven't been good recently x
I lurk too, if you post I'm around. Only during 9 - 5 normally though, night times are taking up with studying and weddings and dealing with other stuff
To be honest I dont know if a quiet thread means everyone is ok... I'm not for a start and Sal you don't sound like you are either... But to me there is no point posting when everyone who knew me has gone. Its a shame, I miss the good ol' days of this thread. Problem solving and having a laugh
For myself, I've been through a few periods of depression in the last six months, not helped by post-viral fatigue following swine flu in January, which has dragged me right down and I'm still not really better. But I look at others' problems and I know that my life in general is good, so I try not to feel too sorry for myself.
Sooty, Sal, I'm sorry to hear things are not so good for you at the moment, and if I can help in any way I'm here for you.
lorry x
For me things have really moved on. Following my massive back operation at the end of October 2009, it has been a very long slow road to recovery. The operation appears to have worked and the endless pain has diminished quite a bit.. I still have 18 months to go while everything heals and fuses. As yet I cannot walk far or do anything physical. Doctors orders:o
My troubled Daughter C, has a 5 month old downs baby. The baby has just had open heart surgery. This also has transformed her from a very sick baby to a healthy one.
Yes I do miss the laughs we had on here Sooty. Shame but most members seem to have moved on.
Love to all who know me and have helped me.
Pete
AKA Herbthesherb
AKa Vale07:)
Hello Sal, I lurk here too, not every day but fairly regularly, so post if you need to - it looks as if there are enough of us still about to lend an ear and offer a hug.
love, Polly