Options
Sorry Another...Brothers Girlfriend Thread
*Sunshine*
Posts: 82 Forum Member
✭
Hi guys,
Sorry for another brothers girlfriend thread. Well I've made just one so far. But yeah, here is another one.
OK my bro has a girlfriend and basically, the whole family dislike her.
She comes into the house and doesn't even say hello. Sometime she doesn't even come into the house, she waits outside, rude?! She demands my brother buy her stuff, even standing over him on the computer to make sure he gets the right thing, she might as well order it herself and ask for the money. She flirts like a trollop. She brings money into everything.
She's basically nasty, after 5 years of trying to make friends, I'm finally getting now that's it's no good, I or my family can't say anything to my bro cos she'll turn on the tears and put on the pathetic crying tramp act...she does it so well.
SO my question is...HOW do you be civil to someone as nasty and cheap as her?
I'm not gonna blow up and make a big thing cos I love my bro to bits. But how do you be civil to someone who is just so horrible? HOW?
Tips please!
Sorry for another brothers girlfriend thread. Well I've made just one so far. But yeah, here is another one.
OK my bro has a girlfriend and basically, the whole family dislike her.
She comes into the house and doesn't even say hello. Sometime she doesn't even come into the house, she waits outside, rude?! She demands my brother buy her stuff, even standing over him on the computer to make sure he gets the right thing, she might as well order it herself and ask for the money. She flirts like a trollop. She brings money into everything.
She's basically nasty, after 5 years of trying to make friends, I'm finally getting now that's it's no good, I or my family can't say anything to my bro cos she'll turn on the tears and put on the pathetic crying tramp act...she does it so well.
SO my question is...HOW do you be civil to someone as nasty and cheap as her?
I'm not gonna blow up and make a big thing cos I love my bro to bits. But how do you be civil to someone who is just so horrible? HOW?
Tips please!
0
Comments
I'm not there though so what do I know.
It's just the family say hello to her, we have to speak first cos if we don't, she won't. I know it doesn't sound much, but can be sitting in the living room, which she needs to walk through to go to the kitchin...and she doesn't even say hello. If I was walking through a room to see my bf I'd say hello at least!
Sorry.
Anyway the question was more how do you cope with someone to ignorant?
She's been shamelessly begging my bro for a proposal for ages. Guessing he'll do as she wants soon and propose, then she can change her facebook status to 'engaged'.
So as a probably soon to be Sister In Law, how do you cope? Don't want to lose my bro, but you know, I gotta be civil. How do you do it?
(Also someone asked me in a PM if my bf didn't even say 'hello' to my family when he walked in, how would I react? I would take him aside and ask him what his problem was, then ask him to make a bit of conversation with my family - it's only polite!)
First impressions are rarely wrong.
If that some is a user, and your bro can't see it, (or lets it happen) then that's his problem not yours.
He probably knows what's going on, but is getting "benefits" so he puts up with it.
There's only so long a relationship like that lasts until the other party wakes up and smells the coffee, Unfortunately - sometimes when it's too late.
Don't pretend to like her, tell your brother how you feel, but tell him, "for his sake you wont be nasty to her", but ask him not to involve her in your life.
When he wakes up, he will remember your words so pick them carefully.
Good luck, and don't stress too much, all you can do is be true to yourself, and take yourself out of the situation.
No wonder she doesnt want to come indoors. she probably senses that you all hate her.
It is no ones business apart from your brothers as to who he goes out with.
Just be polite and civil,grit your teeth for the sake of your brother
sometimes we have to get along with people we dont like for the sake of others, it happens throughout life.
But you should talk to him alone, and in a constructive manner, and make sure he realises you are on his side.
You say this has been going on for 5 years ? It seems like neither of you are going to change. Sorry but it sounds like all you can do is be polite.
I don't know this girl, but I do know that she's your brother's girlfriend and may well soon be family. Like it or not, it's your job to be welcoming to her and friendly to her. Like others have said in this thread, she's probably picked up on your familys' dislike for her, and that's why she comes across as cold. If marriage really is on the cards you need to start making an effort with her too.
How much coping do you need to do ? Just smile, say hello, and leave it at that.
You seem to have made up your mind to not like her, so there's no point doing much else.
Agree with this, it really isn't that hard, think of it as a well learnt life skill. I would also add, that from the comments you have used to describe her such as nasty and cheap, I can understand why she may not feel like being friendly towards you as your hostility is probably very apparent.
You got some excellent advice here http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=1240105&highlight= have you bothered to use any of it, because it would seem not.
You sound like a right little madam.
That's pretty much it. I really, really, really cannot express how much I dislike my SiL, any rant about her would go on for pages, she's caused more upset in my family then anyone else, she's an ignorant, rude, domineering old bag* who I'd quite happily never see/speak to again and will never forgive her for some of her actions, but, for the sake of peace within the family, I grit my teeth, smile nicely and make small talk when necessary. Sometimes it's all you can do
* For the sake of balance, I'm well aware I'm a mardy old cow a lot of the time
Be polite and welcoming.
Unless he is going to confront her about her behaviour then nothing will ever change? After 5 years it seems unlikely your brother will ever tackle her?
Who knows - maybe he likes being dominated / controlled.
However it is not really anyone else's place to say anything so for the time being you grit your teeth and get on with it.
But we only have the OP's view that she is domineering and judging by her previous thread, it's a very skewed view as she is very possessive over him.
Well the brother is still a sap as he has either a) let his GF behave like a spoilt brat for 5 years without confronting her or b) let his family be nasty, cold and ostricize his GF for 5 years without confronting them
Either way I think the brother has been a bit spineless to be honest. He has bought this girl into the family folds and it is his duty to try and make it work... for everyone.
Nope, I'm with you Alfie. I also feel sorry for the brother being trapped in the middle of it. Poor bloke.
Again, we only have the OP's version of events. For all we know the rest of the family may not have a problem with her as they aren't possessive over him as the OP appears to be.
I think that's wrong. He's not a sap, he's just a poor sod stuck in an awful situation where people that he cares about can't get along and he's doing the best he can to muddle through.
But I agree with others - I feel sorry for the girl. Look at this from the other side - what if someone came on here posting:
"I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He's a fab bloke, and we have a wonderful relationship. I love him to bits, and we've been talking about marriage and everything. However, the only downside is that his family seem to hate me! I've tried to be nice, because he loves them, but they're so unwelcoming, especially his sister. I'm sure she slags me off to him behind my back. She never says hello, even when I come in to their house to see him! Sometimes I walk into the living room and she just gives me dirty looks and never says anything, so I try to walk through quickly and not make eye contact. If I can get away with waiting outside in the car for my partner then I will, because they're so hostile. At Christmas, he tried to build bridges by inviting me and his sister out to a concert together - it was a singer she really liked, but all she did was moan because I was going too. She just can't accept that he's chosen me, and I'm going to be part of the family. I don't know what to do - I'd end it with him, but I know it would break his heart, so I can't do that!"
The point is, no-one can ever tell you who to go out with. There will come a time when you meet a girl that your family dosen't like.
Having experienced a similar thing in my extended family, I have to say that the dislike nay hatred of the girlfriend actually pushed him into marrying her.
Does your brother know how you all feel?