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Too many farts

[Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 12,830
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in General Discussion #1
I must be gulping my food down too fast, because too much flatulence. What can be done, except to eat slower ?
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    Bedsit BobBedsit Bob Posts: 24,344
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    #2
    Why would you want to reduce your fart level.

    The more the merrier, I'd say. :p

    On a serious note, I can't see how eating fast can cause farts, given how long it takes food to make its way through your intestines.

    I can see how gulping your food might cause burping (due to swallowing air), but not farting.
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    solarflaresolarflare Posts: 22,393
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    #3
    Too many farts implies some sort of magic "right" number, though what that would be I've no idea.

    Sorry, that's not helpful. Like a brain fart, or something.
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    The screamThe scream Posts: 2,338
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    #4
    Do they smell or are they just loud?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 12,830
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    #5
    Loud and smelly. A bit embarrassing, though they make me laugh.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 129
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    #6
    are you eating too many beans? :D
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    Bedsit BobBedsit Bob Posts: 24,344
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    #7
    Aren't they just the best intestinal activity?

    So much more satisfying that a stomach rumble or a burp. :p
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 12,830
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    #8
    Last night it was sprouts. Tonight sausages and onions.
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    cosmocosmo Posts: 26,840
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    #9
    Farting is one of my only pleasures.
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    The screamThe scream Posts: 2,338
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    #10
    petertard wrote: »
    Loud and smelly. A bit embarrassing, though they make me laugh.

    Fill your pants with cotton wool and sprinkle talc over the top, Voilla!! it contains the sound and may reduce the smell a wee bit:D
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 129
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    #11
    It'll be the sprouts then!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 16,275
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    #12
    I'm on a new set of tablets and at the moment I could rival North Sea Gas for output levels.
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    cosmocosmo Posts: 26,840
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    #13
    Six pints of Guinness and a kebab laced with lots of chilli sauce is good for producing really violent hot farts the next day.

    It should be looked at by the Ministry of Defence.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,693
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    #14
    A couple of my mates wolf their food down and are forever "gulping" like an impulsive something or other where their chin / neck impulsively contract. They just don't chew stuff enough but when you say that to them they swear blind that's not the case, and then they go on to complain about acid reflux and stuff like that.
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    HarryValleyHarryValley Posts: 16,433
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    #15
    Ah! A fart thread. Now we're talkin!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 16,275
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    #16
    dsdjm wrote: »
    A couple of my mates wolf their food down and are forever "gulping" like an impulsive something or other where their chin / neck impulsively contract. They just don't chew stuff enough but when you say that to them they swear blind that's not the case, and then they go on to complain about acid reflux and stuff like that.

    So absolutely nothing to do with farting then.
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    Bedsit BobBedsit Bob Posts: 24,344
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    #17
    HarryValley wrote: »
    Ah! A fart thread. Now we're talkin!

    Talking through our arses :confused::D
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    HarryValleyHarryValley Posts: 16,433
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    #18
    Bedsit Bob wrote: »
    Talking through our arses :confused::D
    Good un :D
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    The screamThe scream Posts: 2,338
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    #19
    Regarding farts, when it is cold and you can see your 'breath', if you let one off can folk see the cloudy omission from your ass then?
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    HarryValleyHarryValley Posts: 16,433
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    #20
    The scream wrote: »
    Regarding farts, when it is cold and you can see your 'breath', if you let one off can folk see the cloudy omission from your ass then?
    What an excellent point! Well worthy of investigation
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    qwertyqueenqwertyqueen Posts: 3,503
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    #21
    Exercise helps to regulate things. Love the thread title ;)
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    The screamThe scream Posts: 2,338
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    #22
    HarryValley wrote: »
    What an excellent point! Well worthy of investigation

    Well thank you indeed. I do think it is worth serious scientific research. Balls to my dissertation i might make this my lifes work!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,759
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    #23
    Just me, but i read this title and started humming "Too many broken farts in the world" by Jason Donovan.
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    The screamThe scream Posts: 2,338
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    #24
    jackee-spyker wrote: »
    Just me, but i read this title and started humming "Too many broken farts in the world" by Jason Donovan.

    Hahahah now that is class! Even though i will hate you at 3 in the morning as it will be going around in my head now! :mad:
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    LibitinaLibitina Posts: 2,430
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    #25
    jackee-spyker wrote: »
    Just me, but i read this title and started humming "Too many broken farts in the world" by Jason Donovan.

    *sniggers*
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    The screamThe scream Posts: 2,338
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    #26
    Libitina wrote: »
    *sniggers*

    Ha! you may laugh now, but I bet just like I , you will have that going around your head in the early hours of the morning!!:D
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