Something Grace told 8 in that 1996 movie
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At the end 8 managed to bring both her and Chang Lee back from the dead. She told him what she saw meant she wasn't scared anymore. Shouldn't that have been a comfort to him and his other incanantions after that ?. 8 was shown in TND and TEH so 11 must remember it. Yes he loses people and it is sad. When you fight a "endless bitter war" there will allways be casualties. 
However to know that it isn't the end they do go on to a final reward. Call it whatever you want paradise ,heaven. Dead does not have to mean totally gone. Especially in a time traveling sci fi show. Look at Dorium he lost his body and his head is stuck in a box. Yet he seems ok with his situation. Would love some clarity on River though. Is she back in the library or has she finally "moved on" ?. Hope so she deserves to be finally reunited with Amy and Rory in the ether. She would also finally get to meet grandad Brian and her " little brother" Anthony. 
However to know that it isn't the end they do go on to a final reward. Call it whatever you want paradise ,heaven. Dead does not have to mean totally gone. Especially in a time traveling sci fi show. Look at Dorium he lost his body and his head is stuck in a box. Yet he seems ok with his situation. Would love some clarity on River though. Is she back in the library or has she finally "moved on" ?. Hope so she deserves to be finally reunited with Amy and Rory in the ether. She would also finally get to meet grandad Brian and her " little brother" Anthony. 0
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River's death in the library did happen - nothing has or can change that (not least because without it, the Doctor died in his 10th incarnation - and he didn't - so she must have).
She had years with Amy and Rory - as Mels. She then had an eternity with them in the odd-ball universe following the Doctor's non-death in Utah. She also had time with them over the years between regenerating from Mels to River and her last trip to the library.
She didn't miss out on much and probably had more fun and friendship with her family than most people because she was effectively with them for the whole of her life AND theirs.
On some level, her "mind" continues within CAL. Her "soul" was restless but is now at peace having said her final farewell to HER Doctor (she'd only previously been able to say goodbye to an earlier version).
We also learned that the Doctor had deliberately avoided using the Tardis to go and see her in other time periods because it would hurt him too much. That was the Doctor finally saying outright that he was madly and totally IN LOVE with River Song - which was what she knew but wanted to hear.
Overall, I'd say that River's chapter is closed as far as further TV stories go - and that's probably for the best given that 11's tenure is also ending.
That's the one.
I found it touching but not sad - I'd love to have a chance like that - to be able to say goodbye to my dad.
Maybe in your dreams you can.
((hugs)) Minky
I always thought it was called "The Enemy Within"
If it is, then OK! But can anyone confirm this?
The Enemy Within was an unoffical title suggested by Phillip Segal, a lot of fans use it but official material such as the DVD call it Doctor Who The Movie.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Who_(film)