What makes me feel bad is the very, very thoughtful touches to his notes and letters. I know he's heartbroken and I feel terrible
I don't mean to sound harsh. But you are feeling exactly how he wants you to...he doesn't genuinely feel heartbroken...he feels a loss of control and refuses to accept it...
You need to take control and refuse to pander to his spoilt child outbursts.. he is using emotional blackmail to get what he thinks he wants
I don't mean to sound harsh. But you are feeling exactly how he wants you to...he doesn't genuinely feel heartbroken...he feels a loss of control and refuses to accept it...
You need to take control and refuse to pander to his spoilt child outbursts.. he is using emotional blackmail to get what he thinks he wants
We had a terrible time with my daughters ex when she was only 18 years old.....Among other things he:
- let himself into our house and placed all the things he had bought her on her bed
- climbed over a 7ft fence and loitered in the back garden
- called up to 50 times a day on her mobile and the house phone (it would start as she got in)
- got friends to make complaints about her at work (she worked in a supermarket)
- poured paint stripper over the roof and sides of her car
Despite making several reports to the police they were hopeless.....apparently we had to have proof? I ended up making a complaint to the police and was called to a meeting with an odious, laconic police man who treated us like neurotic parents.
From my experience OP you really have to push it before anything happens so I wouldnt worry too much about reporting it...if nothing else it is a record of his behaviour which you will need if it escalates and I hope your force is a bit more enlighted than mine.
Some people I knew had a problem with his ex and the police were very helpful so experiences will vary. I think Emmersonne has received some excellent advice on here from a police sergeant very well versed in the legislation and she is following that advice. I think that is a very good start.
Go to a club, find a bouncer you like the look of and start dating him. The ex will soon learn to keep a safe distance from you!
I actually knew this guy was was a bouncer. He started dating a girl who was being harassed by her ex. One night, the guy broke into her house late at night, not knowing she was now dating this bouncer. He burst into her bedroom and was greeted by an 18 stone wall of muscle. After ending up with the TV on his head, the bloke ran off and never bothered her again!
Of course, you might not want to be on the dating scene at the moment (and you might not fancy a guy built like a brick shithouse, either!) but if the ex sees you out with other guys, it might be the kick he needs to realise its all over.
what he's doing to you is harrassing you. harrassment is a persistant course of unwanted conduct against you be it soppy letters or more sinister stuff.
you really need to be very, very clear to him that it's over. if you've already done this then perhaps the next step is to go to a solicitor and ask them to write to him advising that continued correspondence from him will result in you taking police action.
we see these things in our court quite regularly and generally the sentence is a lengthy conditional discharge with an unlimited restraining order and a warning from the court that any contact via phone, letter or internet & they'll be straight back to court. most men get the message when it gets to this stage.
Comments
I don't mean to sound harsh. But you are feeling exactly how he wants you to...he doesn't genuinely feel heartbroken...he feels a loss of control and refuses to accept it...
You need to take control and refuse to pander to his spoilt child outbursts.. he is using emotional blackmail to get what he thinks he wants
Well then why do you read the letters?
I agree with every word of that.
- let himself into our house and placed all the things he had bought her on her bed
- climbed over a 7ft fence and loitered in the back garden
- called up to 50 times a day on her mobile and the house phone (it would start as she got in)
- got friends to make complaints about her at work (she worked in a supermarket)
- poured paint stripper over the roof and sides of her car
Despite making several reports to the police they were hopeless.....apparently we had to have proof? I ended up making a complaint to the police and was called to a meeting with an odious, laconic police man who treated us like neurotic parents.
From my experience OP you really have to push it before anything happens so I wouldnt worry too much about reporting it...if nothing else it is a record of his behaviour which you will need if it escalates and I hope your force is a bit more enlighted than mine.
Woman up and just ignore the weirdo.
Unless you want to be in the same position this time next year?!
Are you sure their isn't a part of you that kind of enjoys the attention?
When will blokes get it into their shrapnel clutted skulls when a woman says its over its over finis kaput no more
He's playing you like a slot machine - if you 'pay out' by responding he will continue to play.
Be boring and non-responsive and if he fails to get the message take the advice given to you by the police officer.
Not as terrible as if you went on in a relationship where you didn't love him.
He doesn't love you...he's only thinking about himself
Yes, I abandoned letting him down gently long ago.
Are you reading the other similar ongoing threads?
I'm not as I wasn't aware of any, but I'll have a look, thanks
The letter is sent and the ticket returned, my wherabouts for Wednesday is 100% NOT HOME.
I think that is 100% sensible! Good for you. Hope that it all gets sorted.
Excellent.
I actually knew this guy was was a bouncer. He started dating a girl who was being harassed by her ex. One night, the guy broke into her house late at night, not knowing she was now dating this bouncer. He burst into her bedroom and was greeted by an 18 stone wall of muscle. After ending up with the TV on his head, the bloke ran off and never bothered her again!
Of course, you might not want to be on the dating scene at the moment (and you might not fancy a guy built like a brick shithouse, either!) but if the ex sees you out with other guys, it might be the kick he needs to realise its all over.
you really need to be very, very clear to him that it's over. if you've already done this then perhaps the next step is to go to a solicitor and ask them to write to him advising that continued correspondence from him will result in you taking police action.
we see these things in our court quite regularly and generally the sentence is a lengthy conditional discharge with an unlimited restraining order and a warning from the court that any contact via phone, letter or internet & they'll be straight back to court. most men get the message when it gets to this stage.