65 year old woman pregnant with quadruplets

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  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    benjamini wrote: »
    Surely it's her body and her choice ? She appears to be affluent enough to make the financial decision and not depend on state hand outs so I'm not sure it's any one else's business.

    I couldn't care less about what she does with her body, but when you create new life, its no longer just her body.

    Money isn't everything, bringing a child into the world knowing that you are likely to have died of age related ailment while they are still children is selfish.

    BIB Could describe about 80% of threads on here so bit of pointless statement.
  • benjaminibenjamini Posts: 32,066
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    lemonbun wrote: »
    It's not about her. It's about the children.

    I'm heading for 65 and my 14 year adopted daughter would not swop me for the bloody world , nor I her. Her very much younger father is battling MS and a reoccurrence of cancer. Life is unpredictable .
  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    benjamini wrote: »
    I'm heading for 65 and my 14 year adopted daughter would not swop me for the bloody world , nor I her. Her very much younger father is battling MS and a reoccurrence of cancer. Life is unpredictable .

    Have you only recently adopted your daughter?
  • duckyluckyduckylucky Posts: 13,849
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    benjamini wrote: »
    I'm heading for 65 and my 14 year adopted daughter would not swop me for the bloody world , nor I her. Her very much younger father is battling MS and a reoccurrence of cancer. Life is unpredictable .

    With all due respect benji your 65 year old body is not built to carry quads safely ( nor is mine )
    Or indeed one baby

    A womens body goes through menopause for a very good reason
  • benjaminibenjamini Posts: 32,066
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    Pull2Open wrote: »
    Have you only recently adopted your daughter?

    No she has been with me from 18 months. I was very aware of the commitment and responsibly at the time. I too have grand children .
  • benjaminibenjamini Posts: 32,066
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    duckylucky wrote: »
    With all due respect benji your 65 year old body is not built to carry quads safely ( nor is mine )
    Or indeed one baby

    A womens body goes through menopause for a very good reason

    It wouldn't be my choice , but it's hers. Dangerous ground when we remove choices on who should and should not have children , especially on DS :D
  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    benjamini wrote: »
    I suppose fatherhood later in life is to be applauded. While condemning a woman ? Charlie Chaplin, nick Nolte , Picasso, Robert De Nero , Steve Martin to name a few.
    Oh yes, the men get a good old pat on the back for still having lead in the old pencil, with barely an eyebrow raised.

    Just to address these points!

    If an elderly man of 65+ decided to pay a surrogate mother to have his child with the intention to raise the child alone then he would be equally selfish.

    The examples you use are not valid.
  • duckyluckyduckylucky Posts: 13,849
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    benjamini wrote: »
    It wouldn't be my choice , but it's hers. Dangerous ground when we remove choices on who should and should not have children , especially on DS :D

    It shouldnt be a choice IMO when the risk to four babies is so great . Choice can only be admired and encouraged when the risk is to yourself only
  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    benjamini wrote: »
    No she has been with me from 18 months. I was very aware of the commitment and responsibly at the time. I too have grand children .

    Then I don't see how your experience supports this woman's stance.
  • benjaminibenjamini Posts: 32,066
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    Pull2Open wrote: »
    Then I don't see how your experience is relevant to the argument.

    An older parent making a commitment despite the statistics saying I will die before my child reaches maturity . Was relevant to me.,
  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    benjamini wrote: »
    It wouldn't be my choice , but it's hers. Dangerous ground when we remove choices on who should and should not have children , especially on DS :D

    Women of 65 should not, imo, be given the choice to have IVF.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 386
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    Its unfair they'll lose their mum when they are still quite young.
  • DangermooseDangermoose Posts: 67,879
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    tayorous wrote: »
    Its unfair they'll lose their mum when they are still quite young.

    How do you know they will? Do you have a crystal ball?

    As Benjamini has clearly pointed out, her adoptive daughter may just as likely lose her father at quite a young age, as many do, mothers and fathers..... that's pretty unfair also no?
  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    benjamini wrote: »
    An older parent making a commitment despite the statistics saying I will die before my child reaches maturity . Was relevant to me.,

    But not the discussion considering we were talking about how, statistically, this woman is likely to die before these children reach their teens, alone maturity.
  • benjaminibenjamini Posts: 32,066
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    Pull2Open wrote: »
    Women of 65 should not, imo, be given the choice to have IVF.

    Why ? Some might argue that girls of 11 and 12 should not be offered abortions. Are you suggesting that that girls of 11 right to choice super cedes a mature woman of 65 ?
  • chloebchloeb Posts: 6,501
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    benjamini wrote: »
    No she has been with me from 18 months. I was very aware of the commitment and responsibly at the time. I too have grand children .

    I think that adopting a child aged 50 and giving them a secure home where they might not have had one is entirely different from using donated sperm and eggs to create 4 babies. She is risking not only her own life but that of the babies, they have a high risk of death or disability. Selfish
  • chloebchloeb Posts: 6,501
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    benjamini wrote: »
    An older parent making a commitment despite the statistics saying I will die before my child reaches maturity . Was relevant to me.,

    Considerable difference between adopting an 18 month old at aged 50 than creating carrying and delivering quads aged 65.....its not comparing like with like
  • benjaminibenjamini Posts: 32,066
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    chloeb wrote: »
    Considerable difference between adopting an 18 month old at aged 50 than creating carrying and delivering quads aged 65.....its not comparing like with like

    We'll it was in context of the convo about dying young which I replied to but the point I was making was it's her choice.. Sounds like a better option for the quads than half a million kids born into drugs and deprivation in the UK , but they are certainly not worthy of outrage or such outrage and emotive rhetoric. :)
  • exlordlucanexlordlucan Posts: 35,375
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    She 'decided to try to have another child because her youngest daughter, who is nine, wanted a little brother or sister'.


    She's not selfish she's nuts.
  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    She 'decided to try to have another child because her youngest daughter, who is nine, wanted a little brother or sister'.


    She's not selfish she's nuts.

    Yes, thank you, i just couldn't think of the word!! :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 761
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    Semierotic wrote: »
    Having more than 2-3 children is egotistical.

    Maybe that's a cultural difference. We have a very low childbirth rate in Germany because there are more and more women who don't want to have children or only choose to have a single child.

    For us as a society, and for our system to continue working we need to pop out more children. And I'm saying that as a 29 year old woman who doesn't have kids and I don't plan to have any. I'll admit that my reasons for that are selfish.

    Basically though, her having 17 children will be a selfish choice of hers, but it's not actually a bad thing for our society, quite the contrary.

    Average life expectancy for a woman in Germany is 84. She might see the kids grow into adults. Who knows.
  • anne_666anne_666 Posts: 72,891
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    zx50 wrote: »
    And yet some families managed to only have about two kids.

    It's a fact that lack of contraception was the cause of huge families for fertile, sexually active couples. That and lack of knowledge about of the fertile time in a woman's menstrual cycle.
  • jabegyjabegy Posts: 6,201
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    Wow, how is she going to manage when she's got four of the little darlings running around at age 5 when she's 70.


    I'm nearly 72 and as much as I love seeing my 2 grandsons and looking after them for a few hours, it's nice to be able to hand them back to mummy and daddy, they wear me out sometimes.

    Good luck to her, if she's got that much stamina but I can't help thinking it's a bit selfish, when they're 15 she'll be 80. !
  • AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
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    certainly not for anyone to say if it's "right" IMO.
    I disagree and am fully prepared to say that it is wrong snd selfish of this woman for reasons already covered in the thread.
  • EvieJEvieJ Posts: 6,034
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    anne_666 wrote: »
    It's a fact that lack of contraception was the cause of huge families for fertile, sexually active couples. That and lack of knowledge about of the fertile time in a woman's menstrual cycle.

    Although those facts may have been responsible for some large families, it wasn't the only reason. Some chose to have large families then, just as they do now even with sexual health awareness and precautions.

    My grandparents had many children, one went on to adopt as well. My parents chose to have a large family, the only surprise being the first who came along before the house was ready. I feel blessed to be part of a large, loved extended family.

    Having said that, this ladies situation sounds just overwhelming.
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