I got tested when I was 35 and I had no doubt about getting tested as it was me that believed I may have Asperger's and wanted to prove it one way or the other.
It has helped those who already know about Asperger's understand me, but my parents are of the older generation and find it difficult to understand anyway.
What happens when you get tested and how did you go about it? Did you see your GP first?
What happens when you get tested and how did you go about it? Did you see your GP first?
You'll get those that are diagnosed young (childhood) because symptoms present themselves/get picked up apon maybe through trouble with the schools or simply observation during early development
Young Adults/adults that felt something was slightly "off" growing up, but were unable to act on it (dismissive relatives etc) so only manage to confront it through independence/breaking away and seeking it themselves
And more mature/older adults diagnosed later in life by shere chance/dumb luck, generally while being seen for a completely unrelated issue
In the case of the young people / young adults depending on the type of tests they might seek developmental feedback from a couple people close to you when growing up (parents, maybe siblings)
Can't stress enough, theres no one size fits all and everybody is different with this
I'm pretty sure if I have it then it's very mild or even borderline. So what I want to explore in therapy is do I even need to know for sure? With regard to everyone esle understandings me, they already think I have it anyway, they are the ones suggested I get tested in the first place, so I don't think a diagnoses would affect how others perceive me.
If I did get diagnosed, it would explain a lot from my past especially being awkward and bullied at school. When I was 16 I thought I had gained some friends who kept inviting me out for social gatherings. I turned up to about 20 of these so called 'gatherings' and each time nobody was ever there. Then I would be told it got cancelled last minutie it I went to the wrong place etc. Then one person from the group called me to say there would never be anybody there and everybody just did it so they could laugh at how stupid I was. My response was to invite them over. Of course they didn't come over. Even being told they had no intention of hanging out with me I stil didn't get it. I never used to understand how come I never had friends when everyone thought I was so funny? I realise because they were laughing at me.
I feel so sorry for my younger self. But now I'm surrounded by a lot more accepting and understanding people.
So I need to figure out do I want a diagnosis that may help my understand myself and my past, but I don't know how else I will feel about having a 'diognosis'
Or
If I get tested and I don't have it then I feel like I'm back to square one trying to understand myself.
Or. Don't get tested. And just be who I am. (But I'm not good with not knowing)
You'll get those that are diagnosed young (childhood) because symptoms present themselves/get picked up apon maybe through trouble with the schools or simply observation during early development
Young Adults/adults that felt something was slightly "off" growing up, but were unable to act on it (dismissive relatives etc) so only manage to confront it through independence/breaking away and seeking it themselves
And more mature/older adults diagnosed later in life by shere chance/dumb luck, generally while being seen for a completely unrelated issue
In the case of the young people / young adults depending on the type of tests they might seek developmental feedback from a couple people close to you when growing up (parents, maybe siblings)
Can't stress enough, theres no one size fits all and everybody is different with this
Is it normal for it to be less obvious in certain situations?
I'm still having problems with close friends - they think I'm being over dramatic.....they have a million and one reasons for the "Aspergers" I present them with..... am I being OTT?
I'm still having problems with close friends - they think I'm being over dramatic.....they have a million and one reasons for the "Aspergers" I present them with..... am I being OTT?
We can't really say, but they may just be incapable of understanding.. so I wouldn't worry too much.
Yep, don't be too criticilal of ignorant friends. Some people just don't know how to deal with friends/family members with disorders/mental conditions.
It's easier for them to brush it under the carpet and just pretend it's something else - a common scenario is when someone says "yeah...I can be a bit shy myself sometimes" and then quickly change the subject.
As if Aspergers is "just being a bit shy"! Sometimes it's best to be nice to these people and simply leave them in their own ignorant world - and remain closer to those who truly do understand (and want to understand).
I have always believed that there is something wrong with me, never even considered ASD until recent years but it does fit a lot of my characteristics. I've never had behavioural problems, more about the social interactions and the understanding the intentions of people I am close to (close and wider circle of friends), ie overly trusting, not understanding motives in body and verbal language, sarcasm, jokes etc are just a few examples. Its never held me back though and have had a few careers, including Police officer (fortunately I never have problems distrusting people I don't know or I know cannot be trusted)
I then think, well, doesn't everyone have a degree, albeit very minor in most cases, of ASD in them.
I don't know...foibles or ASD, its anyones guess.
Have a look at this list, I'll bet all of us can identify with more than 5 attributed characteristics of ASD.
I'm still having problems with close friends - they think I'm being over dramatic.....they have a million and one reasons for the "Aspergers" I present them with..... am I being OTT?
I have to say that reading this thread there a few posters who have said that getting a diagnosis is a positive thing which will make you feel better and have the effect of being a weight off their mind.
For me, the diagnosis had the exact opposite effect. I personally felt it was a confirmation that I will never be able to live the life that I wish to. It was confirmation that am destined to always be a failure. I was wondering if anyone else feels this, because I can not understand how it could be seen as a positive.
I have to say that reading this thread there a few posters who have said that getting a diagnosis is a positive thing which will make you feel better and have the effect of being a weight off their mind.
For me, the diagnosis had the exact opposite effect. I personally felt it was a confirmation that I will never be able to live the life that I wish to. It was confirmation that am destined to always be a failure. I was wondering if anyone else feels this, because I can not understand how it could be seen as a positive.
I can understand your point of view - I haven't achieved many of the "normal" life goals still live at home, not married etc. But it would make me stop punishing myself for being "useless".......there's a reason for my path in life. It would make me feel less ashamed and accepting I may never do these things.....but who knows, I may do
I can understand your point of view - I haven't achieved many of the "normal" life goals still live at home, not married etc. But it would make me stop punishing myself for being "useless".......there's a reason for my path in life. It would make me feel less ashamed and accepting I may never do these things.....but who knows, I may do
Does it not depress you that you have essentially been told you'll never achieve these things and there's nothing you can do about it?
Does it not depress you that you have essentially been told you'll never achieve these things and there's nothing you can do about it?
I would challenge the idea that there's nothing you can do about it. In fact, knowing your diagnosis could well help someone get the right help. Often late-life Aspergers diagnoses come out of the secondary presentations of depression and anxiety, etc, which traditional therapies may not help, because the reasons behind them are not conventional. Getting more targeted specialist help could be of real assistance.
I have to say that reading this thread there a few posters who have said that getting a diagnosis is a positive thing which will make you feel better and have the effect of being a weight off their mind.
For me, the diagnosis had the exact opposite effect. I personally felt it was a confirmation that I will never be able to live the life that I wish to. It was confirmation that am destined to always be a failure. I was wondering if anyone else feels this, because I can not understand how it could be seen as a positive.
Though I havent had an actual diagnosis, I feel similar to you since I have become more 'aware' of Aspergers and sometimes I hate it I feel like I'm always questioning and watching everything I do and I feel pretty down
I would challenge the idea that there's nothing you can do about it. In fact, knowing your diagnosis could well help someone get the right help. Often late-life Aspergers diagnoses come out of the secondary presentations of depression and anxiety, etc, which traditional therapies may not help, because the reasons behind them are not conventional. Getting more targeted specialist help could be of real assistance.
Yes I agree, having a diagnosis is not about saying what you can't do, it is about saying why you can't do things a certain way.
But by figuring out how Asperger's affects someone they can figure out a different way to get around things.
I would challenge the idea that there's nothing you can do about it. In fact, knowing your diagnosis could well help someone get the right help. Often late-life Aspergers diagnoses come out of the secondary presentations of depression and anxiety, etc, which traditional therapies may not help, because the reasons behind them are not conventional. Getting more targeted specialist help could be of real assistance.
Where is this help, though? The ideal would be being taught how to behave as expected in order to appear more neurotypical thus improving chances of being accepted more by society, but no such thing exists.
Where is this help, though? The ideal would be being taught how to behave as expected in order to appear more neurotypical thus improving chances of being accepted more by society, but no such thing exists.
Actually, it certainly does exist, but there's quite a debate in the Aspie world about whether this is the right (or ethical) approach to take. Why should people have to learn to suppress who they are? You wouldn't ask someone in a wheelchair to get up and walk, for example, just to 'fit in'.
Actually, it certainly does exist, but there's quite a debate in the Aspie world about whether this is the right (or ethical) approach to take. Why should people have to learn to suppress who they are? You wouldn't ask someone in a wheelchair to get up and walk, for example, just to 'fit in'.
If you asked a person in a wheelchair would they like to be able to walk, they would more than likely say yes. If you Aspergers would they like to be able to socialise, they would probably say yes as well. So, if there's a way of helping achieve this, why not take advantage of it? I would personally love to be able to suppress who I am because it means I will be respected more and fit in more.
What is this help that you say exists and where is it?
Comments
What happens when you get tested and how did you go about it? Did you see your GP first?
It depends where you go for your diagnosis.
Normally you see your GP, who will refer you to a Psych to rule out other conditions and to justify the funding.
Then you see the local Psychiatrist who specialises in Autism diagnosis.
For me that consisted of an interview with him and and a language specialist.
And then you wait for the report.
It is a long process normally taking a year or more. The wait is normally for the funding and the queue for the Psych and Autism specialist.
thankyou for response
part of requirement for this course is that we see our own art therapist on a weekly basis
im going to explore this in therapy before making a decision.
I was just searching on Youtube and here are a lot of videos that may help you and Voodoo decide if you have Asperger's or not.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=what+is+asperger%27s+syndrome
That's helpful, thanks
You'll get those that are diagnosed young (childhood) because symptoms present themselves/get picked up apon maybe through trouble with the schools or simply observation during early development
Young Adults/adults that felt something was slightly "off" growing up, but were unable to act on it (dismissive relatives etc) so only manage to confront it through independence/breaking away and seeking it themselves
And more mature/older adults diagnosed later in life by shere chance/dumb luck, generally while being seen for a completely unrelated issue
In the case of the young people / young adults depending on the type of tests they might seek developmental feedback from a couple people close to you when growing up (parents, maybe siblings)
Can't stress enough, theres no one size fits all and everybody is different with this
Thankyou. Very helpful.
I'm pretty sure if I have it then it's very mild or even borderline. So what I want to explore in therapy is do I even need to know for sure? With regard to everyone esle understandings me, they already think I have it anyway, they are the ones suggested I get tested in the first place, so I don't think a diagnoses would affect how others perceive me.
If I did get diagnosed, it would explain a lot from my past especially being awkward and bullied at school. When I was 16 I thought I had gained some friends who kept inviting me out for social gatherings. I turned up to about 20 of these so called 'gatherings' and each time nobody was ever there. Then I would be told it got cancelled last minutie it I went to the wrong place etc. Then one person from the group called me to say there would never be anybody there and everybody just did it so they could laugh at how stupid I was. My response was to invite them over. Of course they didn't come over. Even being told they had no intention of hanging out with me I stil didn't get it. I never used to understand how come I never had friends when everyone thought I was so funny? I realise because they were laughing at me.
I feel so sorry for my younger self. But now I'm surrounded by a lot more accepting and understanding people.
So I need to figure out do I want a diagnosis that may help my understand myself and my past, but I don't know how else I will feel about having a 'diognosis'
Or
If I get tested and I don't have it then I feel like I'm back to square one trying to understand myself.
Or. Don't get tested. And just be who I am. (But I'm not good with not knowing)
Is it normal for it to be less obvious in certain situations?
We can't really say, but they may just be incapable of understanding.. so I wouldn't worry too much.
It's easier for them to brush it under the carpet and just pretend it's something else - a common scenario is when someone says "yeah...I can be a bit shy myself sometimes" and then quickly change the subject.
As if Aspergers is "just being a bit shy"! Sometimes it's best to be nice to these people and simply leave them in their own ignorant world - and remain closer to those who truly do understand (and want to understand).
I then think, well, doesn't everyone have a degree, albeit very minor in most cases, of ASD in them.
I don't know...foibles or ASD, its anyones guess.
Have a look at this list, I'll bet all of us can identify with more than 5 attributed characteristics of ASD.
http://www.calgaryautism.com/characteristics.htm
You may find this article interesting
http://www.theguardian.com/public-leaders-network/2014/jul/24/autism-gds-louise-kidney
For me, the diagnosis had the exact opposite effect. I personally felt it was a confirmation that I will never be able to live the life that I wish to. It was confirmation that am destined to always be a failure. I was wondering if anyone else feels this, because I can not understand how it could be seen as a positive.
I can understand your point of view - I haven't achieved many of the "normal" life goals still live at home, not married etc. But it would make me stop punishing myself for being "useless".......there's a reason for my path in life. It would make me feel less ashamed and accepting I may never do these things.....but who knows, I may do
Does it not depress you that you have essentially been told you'll never achieve these things and there's nothing you can do about it?
It does me.... but it doesn't change the fact
I would challenge the idea that there's nothing you can do about it. In fact, knowing your diagnosis could well help someone get the right help. Often late-life Aspergers diagnoses come out of the secondary presentations of depression and anxiety, etc, which traditional therapies may not help, because the reasons behind them are not conventional. Getting more targeted specialist help could be of real assistance.
Though I havent had an actual diagnosis, I feel similar to you since I have become more 'aware' of Aspergers and sometimes I hate it
The fact I'm yet to hear a single person with it that I have personally deemed a "success story" is even more demoralising.
Yes I agree, having a diagnosis is not about saying what you can't do, it is about saying why you can't do things a certain way.
But by figuring out how Asperger's affects someone they can figure out a different way to get around things.
Where is this help, though? The ideal would be being taught how to behave as expected in order to appear more neurotypical thus improving chances of being accepted more by society, but no such thing exists.
Actually, it certainly does exist, but there's quite a debate in the Aspie world about whether this is the right (or ethical) approach to take. Why should people have to learn to suppress who they are? You wouldn't ask someone in a wheelchair to get up and walk, for example, just to 'fit in'.
If you asked a person in a wheelchair would they like to be able to walk, they would more than likely say yes. If you Aspergers would they like to be able to socialise, they would probably say yes as well. So, if there's a way of helping achieve this, why not take advantage of it? I would personally love to be able to suppress who I am because it means I will be respected more and fit in more.
What is this help that you say exists and where is it?