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Unrequited Love
Alex_Fenn
Posts: 183 Forum Member
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Not advice needed but discuss thoughts and other peoples experiences?
I think its so painful yet powerful, like a drug that destroys you but you can't give up.
I think its so painful yet powerful, like a drug that destroys you but you can't give up.
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Its about the person though as oppose to physical attraction (in my experience anyway) would be interesting to hear others experience.
No I am more interested in how/why things like this trigger so many differing emotions and the balance between emotions & feelings and then actions.
Most people in their life who have experienced it and are sane will never do anything other than go through the pain of it in silence. The minority who commit things like stalking make genuine people who are law abiding get overlooked.
Thanks that is a good way of looking at it.
Personally, I should have maybe developed that defence system by now but on this occasion it has seemed to hit me harder than ever before! Almost like the possible naivety at a younger age and inexperience at dealing with emotions has been replaced by knowledge of how 'should' deal with it - but thus still being unable to actually making it more powerfull.
As an adult - what excuse have you got for emotionally being like a lovesick teenager?
Hmm, that's interesting - so it doesn't necessarily decrease with experience… Do you think that if you could flip a switch, you would get rid of the feelings, or do you actually want to have them (if that makes any sense)?
It does make sense and my honest answer is I don't know.
If I could flip a switch that went in any direction then it would go towards us getting to know each other even more then just having a lifelong relationship (physical or otherwise) but as bf/gf.
I don't know how or why 1 person can make your emotions go so haywire (the psychology or biology behind it) so don't know whether its me who wants to have these feelings or its the way I feel making me think I do.
If I did want to get rid of them then surely somewhere I could make myself??
I think the 1st bit basically sums it up but if you can actually acknowledge that - why are you unable to 'want' it to be cured?
Surely nobody would want to be in that position rather than finding someone who reciprocated your feelings? I can't fathom why I still can't stop thinking about her and am almost happier now I have been honest with myself in accepting that I will just secretly be in love with her to keep our friendship.
Because it's easier to keep fantasising than face the reality that they don't like you back and then putting in the groundwork of meeting someone new.
Plus, this is usually someone you see everyday, somewhere boring like school or work. Whats going to make work more interesting - accepting you don't have a love interest at the minute, or believing that a smile from the girl at the next computer means she's secretly mad about you, and fantasising that you'll fall madly in love and elope if you can ever get her to go for after work drinks some Thursday?
The sweet pain of unrequited obsession adds meaning to life and makes a lot of things more interesting, to the point that it can be addictive. Instead of just a boring old song on the radio, it's the song that sums up how strongly you feel about her, but then you think she probably listens to it with her boyfriend, and it makes you feel all sad and in love and emotional ^_^
If you really don't like the feeling and want to be 'over' her OP, try to stay away from her and remind yourself it's just a common chemical reaction that you can find elsewhere.
Recreating that feeling of lust/love/pain/rejection with another person is relatively easy to find if that's what you need to feel alive (?). Once you realise this it might lose it's hold over you.
I think though every second is precious and have actually just been writing down by hand elsewhere how I feel. I'm going to ride the wave of whatever emotion I am feeling at any given moment and not supress it, weather the storm if need be.
I'm going to make the most of it while it lasts.
Good for you love.:)
Lol - we sit practically opposite each other in the office so I can't help but see her and when she asks for help regarding our job my voice says the help she needs while being completely professional whilst my mind is saying "I would walk over hot coals for you"
Pretty much.
I once fancied the hell out of French exchange student teacher. I was a bit lustful, used to rush first into class to make sure I got a seat at the front of the class because she always wore miniskirts and the desks had no modesty boards. Ah the joys of a teenage, hormonal young lad seeing the white undie crotch of a gorgeous foreign girlie.,
Despite my obvious lust for her she never made a move on me.
Tell her just that - go on I dare you!
haha I think not!
I'll keep my feelings to myself and just help her anyway I can if its work.
Not "I would walk to the ends of the earth for you" if I thought it would help with anything outside of work.
If you haven't asked her for even a date how do you know this is unrequited love. Your profile says you're female. Do you think she's straight?
I'm male, that wasn't intentional. I was registering on a mobile browser and every single box I was touching to then input information like a text - it kept highlighting links in the background. Its hard to explain but when I finally managed to get to the point of me confirming my email - I hadn't checked correct profile info, I was pressing anything.
She has a bf so am guessing she doesn't feel the same way as I do and just likes me as a friend.
I see. Well then my friend you are right to take the stance you have. It's agony isn't it? I do feel for you.