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The Risks Of Marriage
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I wanted to find out peoples views on whether the risk of a marriage ending in divorce makes it worth getting married at all, from a financial standpoint.
Members of my family and most of my friends disagree with my opinion on it. I know that whats right for me isnt right for others and vice - versa but i know that i will never want to get married for one reason - the risk.
Ive seen many people i know getting divorced or worse feeling trapped in an unhappy marriage fearing the financial consequences to them if they were to leave their spouse.
Personally i want to know that my money is my own and that when i am in a position to buy a house that it will be mine forever and there would be no chance anyone could take that away from me or force me to sell it following a marital breakdown.
Does anyone else think this way? I know there are legal and some tax benefits to being married but is it worth the risk if you divorced, especially if the home is jointly owned and there is joint bank accounts, joint credit commitments etc?
Members of my family and most of my friends disagree with my opinion on it. I know that whats right for me isnt right for others and vice - versa but i know that i will never want to get married for one reason - the risk.
Ive seen many people i know getting divorced or worse feeling trapped in an unhappy marriage fearing the financial consequences to them if they were to leave their spouse.
Personally i want to know that my money is my own and that when i am in a position to buy a house that it will be mine forever and there would be no chance anyone could take that away from me or force me to sell it following a marital breakdown.
Does anyone else think this way? I know there are legal and some tax benefits to being married but is it worth the risk if you divorced, especially if the home is jointly owned and there is joint bank accounts, joint credit commitments etc?
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Edit: In all seriousness, Marriage (at least in this day and age) isn't the same as it once was. If two people love each other and wish to spend the rest of their lives together, that's great. But you don't need to get married for that to be the case.
I know a lot of people feel this way but if i started a relationship and fell madly in love with her, i would love her the same whether we were married or not.
Im not dissing the institute of marriage itself and i know a lot of people can and do get married and stay together happily, until death do them part but the risks outweigh any sentimental feels for me, they always have.
Or will it all end in tears?
If you co-habit you're equally at risk of having to split assets bought together throughout the partnership, you don't have to be married.
Where does that leave your OH if you decide you've had enough one day? From reading your posts, I think your OH is really exposed financially. He could invest many years into the relationship and still have to walk away empty handed and have to start again. No disrespect or anything.
I have heard a little about this, i completly disagree with this law, i often wondered if, for example, i was a homeowner before i started in a relationship so therefor set the mortage in my name only, paid the deposit and paid for any renovation/decorating myself, then some time later moved a girlfriend in but continued to pay the mortgage from my bank acc from my wages if the woman would have any claim if the relationship broke up.
It couldnt do much for romance if my partner asked to move in with me and i said i'll have to consult my solicitor
He had his own house like me, it got repossessed last year. He knew the score when we met 6 years ago.
Obviously willing to gamble his future then.
Not a gamble, he would not get a morgage with me even if he wanted. There would be no option for us to go in joint anyway as he just would not get credit.
I completely agree with this, if i met someone that felt exactly the same as me and she said "i don't want to get married, i own my house and i will not put your name on the mortgage and if you want to move in here you will have little to no financial security should we break up" i would buy my own house and live there, plently of people have happy long term relationships living in different houses but my financial security is my responsiblilty not that of my partner.
Doesn't work like that in the UK. I'm pretty sure a co-habitee can screw over their ex partner if the made significant financial contributions to the household.
He does not work. He has not made any contribution:D
Of course if people went in together married or not, they should have a claim.
My ex, when he owned the house: he paid all the bills and i paid for us to go out on holiday etc, I did not pay a penny to the house or bills.
It worked well, sure we split up but it was very amicable, no bickering about who owns/entitled to what.
He doesnt seem to have much going for him.
House reposessed
On benefits
And to cap it all, living with you.;)
No benefits;)
He could find a job but we are happy as we are.
Why is he not claiming benefits if he is unemployed?
Didn't you once post that you discourage him from working so that he can't financially contribute at all? It's a massive risk for him to be kept thus. Your maintained independence comes at the cost of his, and his chance to asset build. I'm not knocking you, as you've obviously engineered your own security.
If he wants a job I would never stop him. I would just never trust my house with anyone. I lose that, I lose everything. Years of blood, sweat and tears.
I would encourage him to buy a house but as i say he is just a bit blacklisted financially, so realistically it would not ever happen., nor would he ever be able to get a joint mortgage with me.
That's all fine and well but how do you know that you're still going to feel the same way in years to come?
Why would he? He is not seeking work, so he is not entitled to any, rightly so.